Posted in Blogging 101

Hi, I’m Marti And I’m Marvelous

Hi there, how are you?  I’ve picked up a lot of new readers lately so I decided to take a few minutes to tell you who I am and why I am out here publicly telling the world about things like why my dog poops at work.  But that is another post all on it’s own.

MMy name is Marti, and I am pretty marvelous.  Actually that started when Sesame Street had a character for the letter ‘M’, Marvelous Martha.  Mom called me that a few times, though in playing along with the show, because my entire family and every friend I have had calls me Marti.  The only exception in the family was grandpa, who called me Martha Marie.  But only he was ever permitted to do that, no one else is ever allowed to refer to me by that name as he was the greatest man I have ever known and I adored him.  The rest of the family actually calls me little Mart because mom is big Mart.  I’m named after mom…and her mom.

I try very hard in my life to look for the silver lining.  No, life is not perfect and mine is no bed of thornless roses, but we all have a choice to be happy and positive, or miserable and negative.  I make the choice of going with positive.  This has been mistaken by some to be ‘ego’.  Not at all the case, more like I just see no reason to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself, stir drama and try to draw attention to myself with folks feeling sorry for me and fawning all over me.  I don’t need that kind of attention in my life.  I prefer folks see me as a happy, fun, funny, quirky, good time kinda gal, someone marvelously wonderful to have as a friend.  And with very few exceptions, that is how I am known.  From my Avon sisters to the folks I used to work with, to my family and friends, I am all of those fun things and I enjoy being me.

Blogging is just a creative form of journaling for me.  While some think I let it all hang out (and I am a fairly open book), there is a surprising amount of things I do not share here on my page. I have used it as a way to lash out at people but it has been a few years since I did that and I’ve made all of the apologies I will ever make for those things.

I love to write, it is like therapy for me.  I am currently writing a non-fiction book of my journey of faith, falling from it, and crawling back up on that path.  I also have a work of fiction under way.  My blog just lets me vent, cheer, unload and decompress.  It doesn’t hurt that I’ve gained quite a following as well, the numbers of followers by email and RSS etc always amazes me, I had no idea anyone cared to read what I write.

So, for all of you who are new, welcome to my crazy life.  It’s like my own reality show, and you get to join me for the insanity.

Random Marti Facts:

  • I LOVE coffee. Regular, flavored, I usually have a cup with me at all times.
  • My favorite color is pink.  Yes always has been. Had a bubble gum pink room growing up.
  • Second favorite color is purple.  I leaned on that once for a while not to offend someone.
  • I’ve stopped exchanging who I am to please others.  Take me or leave me, I am who I am.
  • I love dark chocolate.  Add nuts even better.
  • Ice cream is a weakness.
  • I’ve been married twice. First time was a short one, second was 22 years.  I’ve been divorced 4 years.  I loved being married but being single certainly has it’s benefits!
  • I’m a born again Christian.  I’m also a sinner but I’m trying to lead a godly life.  I screw up, but thankfully I’m forgiven.
  • I forgive others way too easily, hence I tend to have numerous knives in my back that others cannot see.
  • I sleep well at night, I have a crystal clear conscience.
  • Currently I am in the midst of menopause and that sucks big hairy monkey balls.  Sorry if that offends some but it’s just the facts.
  • I am mom to 2 of the best people who ever walked the planet, and mother-in-law to 2 more of those types.
  • Nana is the best name ever!  Grandma is the best stage of life.  I have 3 with one more due any minute now.
  • I live in the Diva Den.  That is a wonderful, very large house with my mom, sister and now one niece. The other niece moved out to live with her boyfriend.  We have more fun than the law should allow.
  • My favorite shows are (in no particular order):  Sons Of Anarchy, Downton Abbey, CSI, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods, Unforgettable, Under The Dome, NCIS.
  • I LOVE football.  Nope I still don’t totally understand some things but I love love love to watch.  Love the Bengals, and yes I am fully aware that they are not the greatest team but hey, at this writing they are 2-0 so here is hoping for a winning season.
  • I am a full time Avon Representative, currently selling at President’s Club level and a Unit Leader with my sights on SEUL.  I am looking to grow my team all over the USA so contact me if you are interested.  Yes you really can make a living selling lipstick.

Stick around, it’s rarely boring in my life and I’m usually sharing it!

Posted in On My Way Back

My Wild, Untamed Tongue

Image Courtesy of ddpavumba/

Social media has ushered in a new way of communicating.  Where we used to speak our words for others to hear, or actually write them out in long hand on paper, now we put them in texts, on Facebook walls, Twitter etc.  Our words can now reach much further simply by hitting the enter key, or as in this case, publish.  The trouble with social media is it is much easier say things when sitting behind my computer than when I am in person.  I’ve always communicated much better when writing my thoughts, but now there is a safety in the anonymity of using electronic media to stick my opinion and thoughts out there for others to ‘hear’.

In December of 2010, just 4 months nearly to the day after my divorce was final, I ventured back to my church ‘home’.  I thought I was ready for it, the prodigal daughter going home to her Father and faith family.  I was welcomed back with open arms and tears, and I knew that it was HOME.  But it wasn’t long before I hit the ground and ran from there, and somewhat back to what had been familiar to me.  Part of that was due to my own words, which were a reflection of my very battered heart.

I was still up to my neck in bitterness and pain at not only my ex-husband, but many former friends.  One I lashed out about on Twitter.  She proceeded to send copies of that tweet to my pastor, in an email in which she painted herself to be a wounded believer by my words.  She also made sure to let it be known of my past in the swinger lifestyle.  It was an attempt to hurt me, I get that, and she was successful.  It was one more flame on the fire that was burning away at my heart and soul.  That combined with a few other incidents concerning  my ‘words’ and I hit the ground running in to opposite direction of where I needed to be.

Part of the problem with going back was that things had changed.  I was no longer “Pete & Marti”, and that was hard.  The couple who had been our best friends were divorced and he was there alone, she was missing.  And I honestly felt that no one there could understand the road I was on at that time.  Honestly, I still don’t know if anyone understood or could begin to grasp what I was going through.  It was not just the divorce, but where I had been during the final years of my marriage.  I was constantly on the defense so when someone did point something out, it felt like I was being judged.  That was all my own heart issue, I get that now.  This time, I went back and instead of being on the defense I decided that I would simply relax.  I don’t have to be liked by everyone, because not everyone is going to like me.  And yes, I am going to be under scrutiny by my fellow believers, because I did walk away twice, and I had been in a very dark, sinful place for a long while after having been a proclaimed believer.  I gave folks reason to be skeptical and that is okay.  My return isn’t about them, it’s about where I  know I need to be, being fed and worshiping the Lord.

One of the reasons that former friend’s email to my pastor upset me so much is that deep down I knew she was right.  Her motives were questionable, but I had in fact done something that was unbecoming of a believer.  I don’t have to answer for her motives, that is between her and God, but I do have to one day give account for every careless word spoken by me:

Matthew 12:36

New King James Version (NKJV)

36 But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.

If I had a dime for every careless word/idle word that has come out of my mouth just since I’ve been a believer, I’d never have to work again and could live off of the interest only.  Judgmental? Oh yes that would be me!  Run  off of the mouth? GUILTY!  I used to take pride in the fact that I could slice someone’s jugular verbally.  Not exactly something to be proud of, I know.  And it doesn’t matter if what I say is true, it is the motive and intent of my heart that is behind the words that is also at issue.  When in doubt, I should just be silent!

Which brings me to the whole social media side of the issue.  Back when James wrote his letter that is now the book of James, written and spoken words were all we had.  And while he addressed the tongue, or verbal side of communicating, I think the spirit of the passage applies to written words, and now social media as well.  But not just on posted, public places where we write, but in emails and texts along with the spoken word.  Because we WILL one day have to give an account before God, on the day we are judged, and it will include, no doubt about it, every word spoken and written.

I’m learning to keep my mouth shut more than I run it.  To stick to what my grandpa used to tell me, that if I didn’t have something nice to say, it wasn’t necessary to say anything at all.  I later realized that is what Thumper’s mom taught him, in the movie & story of Bambi, what I call the Thumper Rule.   This is by far one of the hardest things for me to do, keep my mouth shut, sit on my fingers when I want to lash out at someone on Twitter, in my blog, or on Facebook.  I have a tendency to go all mama bear on people and need to be more careful.  Stop, think, think again, wait 24 hours, pray during that time.  It will keep me from stumbling in this area.  And meditate on this verse above from Matthew, apply it like spiritual duct tape to my mouth and hands.

James 3:5-12

New King James Version (NKJV)

Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.

See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? 12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.[a]

Posted in Coffee

Coffee Musings & Writer’s Block

Wine & Cheese is taking a day off, I have nothing to whine about other than having a bad case of writers block.  Cannot come up with anything that  has any substance to write about today.  Thought about explaining why I support gay marriage, but not feeling that one.  I will, though I have touched on it in the past.  I know it won’t agree with some of my church family’s perspective, but we’ll talk about that later when I get around to that post.

I’m back in crumb cruncher care mode today.  Had a 4 day weekend,  now we are back in full swing.  We have a bunch of ‘new’ toys and there is  a lot of discovery going on as they explore the boxes.  I am very much enjoying watching this.  Mr. Man loves puzzles fit for his 2 year old age, and there are a few in there for him.  Lots of little cars, trucks and even a fire fighter puppet.  He is in little boy, toy heaven today.

Mt. Washmore is slowly disappearing from the 3rd floor.  That means I am getting one hell of work out again, lugging loads of laundry from there to the basement and back.  My $1 says that tomorrow morning there will be a whole new mountain in the making, as the 17 year old will suddenly come home from work and clean her room.  I won’t venture in there, it is against Prince Palace protocol.  Privacy is respected here, no Diva enters another Diva’s royal bedchamber without permission.  I didn’t ask for permission because I didn’t think of it so her laundry will have to wait if it is sitting behind her door rather than in the hamper.

For lack of anything better to write about, I am going through the questions from the countless emails I receive on the sites. Not that most of those guys will see them, I don’t give out my blog address to just anyone.  No, not afraid of the big bad wolf or the Boogie Man.  But really not looking for a reason to have to shoot someone so why risk it?  That edition of The Dating Diaries will be coming up soon.  The Q & A, not the  target practice one.

But first, must finish feeding Miss Thang.  Love watching her little facial expressions with new foods.  She looks like she has baby angels in her mouth it is so good, and so adorable!

Posted in Miscellaneous Stuff

Blogging – Balance or Bail?

I’ve come to the point of questioning myself and my blogging, as far as continuing on the current path, achieving a balance or just bailing. I have practiced a policy of non-censorship in my writing as far as sharing information from my thoughts and heart.  My writing is my therapy and I just let things fly when I feel like it.  But I have been given food for thought several times that makes me sit back and ponder.

I have been told people think I am some kind of a nut case, based on my postings.  I admit freely,  that in the early days of  this blog page I was a mental and emotional train wreck.  My world had been flipped on end and I was all over the map.  I think most folks going through a divorce ARE all over the charts like that, the difference is my readers were given a look inside my heart and head, places the average soul isn’t so willing to share.  I received plenty of emails from others telling me it was nice to see that they were not alone in feeling they were fragmented.

It is difficult at times to write knowing that something might upset someone I love and hurt their feelings.  Or that what is said might impact them in other ways, as in friends reading it and thinking my offspring have a looney tune for a mother.  Okay they do but that isn’t the issue.  Sometimes when I vent it can put my kids or friends in a place of feeling they are stuck in the middle of say me and the ex husband.  A lot of folks just don’t seem to understand I can be pissed as hell and vent it but that doesn’t mean I hate him.  Fantasy dialog a friend used to call it.  Where you make a remark like “life would be so much easier if so-n-so fell in front of a moving freight train”.  Of course you don’t mean it, but venting does help one feel better.

I struggled with the idea of just not blogging anymore, however I love to write and don’t want to give it up.  I am very open about things in my life, and that sometimes may be too much information for those close to me.  But finding the balance of being true to myself, uncensored and still being careful how it impacts others…well it was giving me a headache to say the least.

This morning my blog buddy, Cinful Cinnamon, sent me a link to check out a blogger that has  similar dilemmas and her solution.  I like it.

I have started a page, The Private Thoughts of Marvi Marti. The page is part of this site, listed up top, that is password protected.  Just because you ask doesn’t mean you will be given access.  Those  given the password must be trusted to keep what they read there to themselves.  It is to protect the feelings of those closest to me.  It is a look into my private thoughts, into my heart and only select individuals will be given that much access.  Contact me at to request access.

So, I  feel better now that I can continue my page and still let it fly when something is itching to be written that might not sit so well with the audience of this page as a whole. Thanks, Cinnamon, fantastic idea!

Posted in Post A Day 2011, Post It Note Tuesday

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