I Need A Shower…SQUIRREL!

istock_000009602550xsmallNot because I’m filthy or stink, I just need a shower.  I have gold medal worthy bed head, morning breath, wearing my wrinkled jammies and sipping coffee.  All this while doing laundry, because I multi-task like a boss.  I need a shower.

My brain is processing a lot of things at the moment:

  • I need to be in bed early tonight because tomorrow is day one of 3 in a row at work (12.5 hour days).
  • I need a cute way to decorate my planner for football season (GO BENGALS) as preseason games start soon.
  • SO much laundry is piled up on Mt. Washmore that I need to attack it even though it isn’t mine, my sister will appreciate it.
  • Trying not to think too much about how this time next year mom probably won’t be with us anymore.
  • That book I am writing…still so much to do with that one.
  • Blankets, dear me I have 3 in process, one is for my 5th grandchild so I need to get it finished as he has arrived. One is for the 4th grandchild, who is nearly a year old, must stop letting the changing landscape of life throw me off my game.
  • Coffee….yes more coffee is in order.
  • Crap, time to wash the bedding, need to do that today too.
  • Library books, best check and see if the ones on hold have arrived.
  • Oh that reminds me I need to actually finish reading some of the ones sitting on my desk.
  • Baby Jace, I need to go see the 5th grandchild again, soon. Love his cute little self.
  • I need to grab a shower at some point here.

All that and one thousand other thoughts floating about in my head, all at once.  One of the most important being that I really DO need to get a shower if I hope to get many of the things on my to-do list accomplished today.

YUM…oatmeal!  Old fashioned style with a bit of dark brown sugar and another cup of coffee.  I really did go stick another load of laundry in just now, have to get the bedding washed before the cats lay all over my memory foam mattress cover and leave a mess of fur for me to attack with the lint roller.

I’m very excited that today, at some point, a delivery will arrive.  My compression socks for work.  I need those as I’m on my feet for 12.5 hours and I just know it will help my legs not feel so fatigued at the end of my shift.  And it also has my very first ever seasonal, super cute scrub top.  I bought a Halloween one.  I will get a few more too, as I plan to wear those all through the month of October.  Scrubs are so much fun, I’m thankful to be working in a facility that allows us the freedom to wear any ones we want instead of issuing a particular color.  Two of the nurses always wear ‘prison grey’ on Mondays, which is funny to me, as Monday just kinda sucks for a lot of folks.  Of course when your shifts rotate around the week like ours, weekends tend to lose any real thrill except that we work every 3rd one so we’re always happy when we don’t.  Well that isn’t really true except that I miss church, otherwise it is  just another day to me to be with and care for my sweet old residents.  Some aren’t so sweet, but I love each one in some weird way and care about them.  So anyway, I’m super stoked that I will have my first holiday top today.

Okay, time to act like I have a lengthy list that needs checking off or nothing will get done at all today.

First things first though,

I need a shower…

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Mt. Washmore, My Least Favorite Mountain

Yes, Mt. Washmore. As in “wash more often”.  Or maybe “wash more” again.  I swear the dirty laundry mates and multiplies, as I am washing twice a week and still it just piles up!  Oh well, at least we have a washer and dryer, nothing would be worse than loading it up and having to cart the mountain off to the laundromat.

10013668_607000622718799_1229616938_nI had to say goodbye to my little bad-ass cat, Skyler.  She just didn’t ever manage to fit in around here.  She has been around for 6 months but at no time did she ever get along with the other cats we have, or the dog.  In fact, there was no love loss between the humans and the kitten.  Things about her were simply not normal.  Eyes that didn’t change indicating blindness.  Aggressiveness that simply increased rather than decreasing.  She’d spend hours spaced out, tongue out, drooling puddles, then seem to surface mentally and completely go berserk.  The last straws were the sudden attacks and biting.  I cannot risk my grandson being attacked and I was less than appreciative of her tearing through my shirt sleeve and into my flesh with her teeth.  So she is now hopefully placed in a home that is ready for a special needs feline.  The other cats have settled down again, and in fact I found them snuggled up together when I got home from the store today, something that hadn’t happened since the kitten arrived.

1957395_606989869386541_1136329841_nWhile out shopping I happened upon something very disturbing.  The local KKK was demonstrating on a street corner nearby.  This did not make me happy at all.  These hate filled monsters grate on my nerves.  It would not bother me one bit if someone ran them over.  In fact, I wish I had my grandpa’s favorite dream weapon.  He used to say “If I had a gun that shot shit…”.  Well, if I had a gun that shot shit, I’d have shot every damn one of them with the smelliest manure available.  Instead, I flipped them off as I passed by and made sure they saw it.  Then I had to explain to the step kids who they were and what they stood for, which didn’t sit well with the kiddos.  Good.  Educate them young in tolerance and Christian love, and yes I did mention that my flying the middle finger was not very Christian.

Glad to be back home with the two cats who show the black and white together are an awesome combo.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

There is no ‘if’ about it, life is short.  It seems like just yesterday I was changing my son’s diaper, newly divorced and in the role of single mother.  Today he pushing is 27 years old, carries a gun and puts his life on the line as a cop.  I swear I blinked and went from protecting him to him protecting others.

So why DO we do so many things  we don’t like, and like so many things we don’t do? In a word: FEAR.

Many times I stayed employed in a job that I did not like because it was stable,  the pay was good, and I had medical insurance.  There were countless benefits that were unseen too, like free parking, location etc.  I transitioned through many positions within the 26 years at the company, some I really liked, others I  didn’t care for at all, and some I was simply content.  I feared leaving because there were too many ‘what ifs’ associated with leaving and trying something new.   It wasn’t until I was let go during a down sizing that I was forced to look for something new.  And the next two positions were similar in nature,  still stuck in a rut of doing what I knew I could rather than going after something that I thought I wanted to do but was unsure.  There was also much negative feedback associated with my occasional mentions of what I wanted to try doing.

After the next two jobs bit the dust, one was a seasonal lay off, the other the company just went under and I bailed when I saw the writing on the wall, I was forced to make some choices about my employment.  I was brain storming with my mom one Saturday morning, before the rest of the Divas were up and about, and I brought up childcare.  I really do love kids!  I am not really a domestic type, never got the joy of being the stay at home mom I had dreamed of, but I still  knew enough to know that watching children can be profitable, very profitable.  And then there is also Avon, something I very much wanted to sell.  I had taken a stab at it when my kids were little, and did it all wrong.  Now the corporation provides so much in the line of training that it is hard not to succeed.

Being home during the day watching children gives me a lot of opportunity to write, read, work the Avon business, and do something I very much enjoy, being a stay at home ‘mom’ of sorts.  I enjoy taking care of the kids a lot!  And I can pitch in around the house more, cleaning, doing dishes, and tackling Mt. Washmore, the Diva’s ever growing laundry pile.  It did take some initial adjustment, which worked well in the beginning as I only had the kids two days a week, then three, then four and now all five weekdays.  I eased into this and now I have a solid routine down.  It really works out well.

Avon allows me to do sales, something I have always wanted to try my hand at but never thought I had what it took.  And the product line is something I very much believe in.  I try the items that I recommend, and only recommend them if I really do like them.  I even started another blog page, I Sell Lipstick – Chronicles of an Avon Lady to not only share my adventures in this business but to review and give away products as I try them myself.

I also do some side work when needed for a friend that has  an insurance business, to keep the office skills up to date.

I still do not have medical insurance, but I am working with the agent friend to get a major medical policy in place and dental.  First I had bills that needed catching up from being without a paycheck.

Which brings me to another reason we tend to do things we don’t like, and avoid doing things we do like: other people’s opinions.

It is easy to become discouraged when others close to us have issues with what it is we are doing or want to do.  We write our dream off as a bad idea and stay where we are not happy.  For me, it was a deal breaker in a relationship with a guy that I really saw so much potential with for a possible life partner.  I wasn’t getting a ‘regular paycheck’ from anyone.  I think it had a lot to do with my not being ‘kept’ by that one, never mind that I get paid weekly, quite regularly and the same amount each time.  But that was an eye opener to me.

I’ve been employed in positions where I hated getting up and going to work each day.  I was moody, unhappy and most unpleasant to be around.  So many wasted years getting up and doing something I did not at all care for when I could have been doing something I really enjoyed.  I don’t care what you do for a living, as long as you pay your bills and you ENJOY what you do!  You cannot get back the time that is wasted in a very unhappy career.  No, not going to change what I do to make someone else feel happy and secure with me.  I love what I do, I am singing in the shower, humming and singing while putting on my make-up for the day, I enjoy being a daycare provider!  I enjoy cleaning the house and doing the laundry (dear gawd did I just really say that?? THE UNDOMESTIC GODDESS LIKES BEING DOMESTIC???).  I love selling Avon and plan to make that one helluva living too!  I don’t care what you do, be it a teacher, cop, firefighter, sanitation worker, stable cleaner, auto mechanic…if you enjoy what you do, if you are happy getting up and going to work each day, and we hit it off, then I accept you as you are, package deal.  If we don’t hit it off, I will cheer  you on in what you love, because life is entirely TOO short not to do what makes you happy!

I am now doing what I enjoy, and ever so thankful I finally took the risk and went for it!

Coffee Thoughts…

Sitting here enjoying a cup of coffee and thinking over my weekend.  I really hate when the weekend comes to an end.  It isn’t that I don’t like working, I just enjoy my time off so much too, and the weekends just never seem long enough.  I am learning to really relish each minute of each day and embrace life, and finding that the more I do that happier I am.

Friday evening my baby girl came to visit, which was exceptionally nice as I never feel I get to see enough of my kids.  She concerns me because she looks so tired, but she has been sick herself with this flu/cold bug all the past week.  And between being in school all day and working in the evenings I think she is just getting a bit run down.  She was sporting one of the pink shirts the Delhi Fire Department is wearing for October for breast cancer awareness.  I know a lot of departments are doing this, which I find rather cool.  My brother made sure we all were able to buy the  shirts in the Diva Den too.  Real men DO wear pink, and most look great in that color.

We’ve been on a quest in the Diva Den to find a particular Highlander Grogg coffee.  The one we like was served up at Perk On The Pike before it closed.  This one has a slight butterscotch aroma and taste.  After Perk closed we were able to get it through The Front Porch Coffee House, but then they closed too!  That depresses me, I love going to a cozy coffee house and miss my Saturday mornings at Perk with my sister, crocheting and munching on stuff that was not real healthy and sipping coffee.  Mom finally found a place in Mt. Healthy, The College Hill Coffee Company.  This place not only carries our coffee flavor but it is flat out adorable!  I have determined that I need to frequent that one, even though it is a bit of a drive.

I’ve gone a complete week without going to Chipotle, I cannot believe it.  Mostly it is a money issue, just don’t want to be spending the cash at the moment with trying to get Christmas shopping done for my kids while I am still employed.  I might have to treat myself on Friday when we get paid again.

I’m actively looking for another job at the moment.  Once the season is over for out door painting I’ll be looking at being laid off and that won’t work, I have too many bills  to pay.  Hopefully I can find something soon, that carries benefits too, as this flying without health insurance is scary.

Best  part of my weekend was getting to spend time with Mr. TSASA last night.  We let him join the Divas for wine night, and then I got him all to myself out on the deck, which was nice.  We talked quite a lot, but I’m not sharing the discussion.  He also got to go where no man has gone before…to my room.  🙂  Okay so nothing naughty went on (only because others were home) but I did get a very nice kiss and Pixel let him hold her, which was also rather unusual.  I was bummed when the night ended. But again, relishing the time I do have and enjoying it very much.

Laundry is all caught up now, bedding changed, room cleaned, we even cleaned the house today.  Dad came to watch the game with us and have dinner. I am growing very concerned about him, he seems to be declining in health.  Sadly the weather is going to shift in coming weeks and we won’t be able to get him out as much.

Coming up this week are all the normal memes and hops I participate in, and my own periodic posts.  Wine and Cheese will be back on Wednesday, I was not feeling well enough to put together anything this past week.  I’m also going to be posting a book review.  Not my norm but the author asked me if I’d like to do one so I am reading it (great book!) and will be posting a review near the end of the week or Saturday.

I feel an early bedtime coming my way, though I know that once I  close my eyes the weekend will be over and the next thing I am aware of will be the alarm clock rudely pulling me from my sleep to start the work week.  I’ll likely stay awake as long as I can for that reason alone, to make it last just a few more minutes.