I’m Here!

I know, I haven’t posted in a LONG time, like a month now. Life was getting in the way and I had to focus on other things. So, this may be a long update.

Mom Update

19598742_1451064548312398_1923680622368278396_nMom is still with us, and those who see her say she looks great. She is declining slowly, but she is in good spirits. Hospice is here 3 days a week to see her and assist with things. I’m hoping she keeps it up so she can be here for the 6th great-grandchild’s birth.

Because she had hoped to make it to the holidays, we held Christmas. Yes it is July and yes the house is decorated for Christmas, including the tree being up. Her siblings and kids all came and we had a wonderful time, just like it was the annual, family, Christmas Eve party. The decorations are still up, which we may or may not get around to taking down.

My Health Journey

OH so much to share!

I am now down 32 pounds, and I’m real excited about that! I had to finally break down and buy a couple of pairs of jeans because nothing fits. Even my scrubs have gone to donations as they didn’t fit. I bought some medium scrub pants, and now also wearing small. Until I can purchase some new ones, I have to wear medium some days. Such a great feeling. My new jeans? Size 8!

b4 and after

This past weekend I was in Dallas for the company convention for us health coaches and our clients. I was SO excited to go and learn. This company is awesome, and I have so much more knowledge now. Next step is getting my certification as a health coach, my goal is by the end of August. If you are interested in a sure fired way to get weight off, without exercise, all scientifically based and proven for over 20 years, contact me. If you follow the plan you cannot fail. I’m living proof as I have done pretty much every diet and plan out there but never had much success. My blood pressure has dropped to a great level, I sleep great, and I have energy to spare! I’d love to have you as a client.

Grandbaby Watch

He isn’t here yet. In fact he is just under 36 weeks baked. But my baby girl is past ready. Elijah has dropped, mama bear is nesting like a fiend, and we would all love it if he arrived safe and healthy very soon.

First Shift

I moved to first shift at the beginning of last week. Decided it would serve my health clients I’m coaching better if I am on first rather than second shift. And if someone on 2nd calls off it makes it easier to stay over to help.

So, there it is in a quick nut shell.  More to come!

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My Journey To Health ~ Beginning Week 5

Do y’all mind if I do a happy dance? Like jump up and down, kick my heals up and squeal kind of dancing? THIS is a day of celebration for me. 4 weeks ago I began this journey all skeptical still about the hoped for results. My close friend Tracy had lost 93 pounds and kept it off for 3 years now, and my daughter-in-law was down 30ish at the time in 2 months (she is now down 42), but could I do this?

Well as of today I am down 16.5 pounds, with only 29.5 to go to reach my goal. But it is way more than just saying good-bye forever to the weight, it is about my health. My blood pressure was getting up there, like it as hanging around 140/90, sometimes higher. I’m in the medical field, I take vitals before giving meds, I know what that means and it isn’t good. I stumbled out of bed limping with plantar faciitis in my left foot, which was horribly painful for the first hour of my day. And my knees…I spend a lot of time on them at work, up and down changing Depends on my residents while they sit on the toilet, getting eye-to-eye level if they are in wheel chairs, and it took serious effort and agony to get up off them. I needed the bar on the wall as much as they did to pull up! Not to mention just feeling blah all of the time.

All that is changing now! My blood pressure has dropped to 119/71, pretty darn pleased with that! The plantar faciitis is GONE. No more limping around in pain ūüôā for this girl, and since I’m on my feet all day that IS awesome sauce. And those knees, I am up and down off them with much more ease! 60 pounds of pressure is off of them (4 pounds for every pound you lose) and I’m not having so much trouble with all of the up and down. Energy? Oh my, that of a 12 year old kid again, my coworkers accuse me of bouncing around like a ping-pong ball, I cannot sit still. I even can now wear a pair of jeans I haven’t been able to get past my thighs! YAAAAHOOOOO!

To think, I’m not even to the goal weight and optimal health yet, but I’m so amazed I’ve decided to become a health coach so I can pay it forward and share this gift of health with everyone and anyone who wants to know about it!

Here are my current before/after photos, and I cannot wait to reach my goal and post those!

170 pounds and loving life, living MY dream!

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My Journey To Health – Day 5

It is Day 5 and I’m feeling fantastic! On Thursday I’ll be posting my weight loss, but I’m here to tell you that I already have been on the scale and lost over 5 pounds so far. I’d say it was all water, but I already was a huge water drinker so I doubt that it can be said it is all from water leaving me!

My daughter-in-law, who is my coach and one of my inspirations, has lost 37.5 pounds in 2 months time. I LOVE THIS! And my friend lost 93 and has kissed it good-bye forever, 3 years ago now.

My goal is HEALTH, and losing some weight. So, inspired to use a visual like my daughter-in-law has done, I made one, and every week on weigh day I will post a picture of my diamonds making their transition from one glass to the other. My goal in getting healthy is to get all 46 diamonds to the other side and KEEP THEM THERE!

glasses of diamonds

My Journey Begins

I made a decision a few days back, the decision to take back my health. I’m about to turn 54 and I’m not at all where I know I need to be to keep up the pace in my job or to live much longer as a healthy, functioning person.

I have an old and dear friend who has lost 93 pounds and kept it off for 3 years now. She looks totally amazing and is healthy along with having oodles of energy. I would look at her before and after photos and think “I want that”, but wasn’t willing to just spend 30 minutes sitting down to talk with her because I knew it was going to cost money and a change in lifestyle.

Now after 2 years of working as a STNA, I know that I must do something. I’ve tried various diets, programs etc over the years and that didn’t do it. I even changed a few things, but I’m still sitting back at 185 (down from 199 but holding) and my body is saying some not so nice things to me at the end of my shifts. 7 years ago I was at 155, still heavier than I should have been but 30 pounds less than today. ¬†My blood pressure is creeping upward too, into the high range, no doubt from lugging me around.

I now work in an assisted living memory care community, so I’m not pushing and pulling lifts with bodies on them (a broda chair alone can weigh 90 pounds before you put the resident in it for the day, adding 200 to make a total of 290 pounds to push and pull up hallways), but I’m on my feet for 8 hours and still doing some lifting and a lot of squatting-to-standing. I need a change.

I don’t just want that, I want THAT!!!!

My daughter-in-law got with this friend of mine (we all go way back) and started down her journey and has lost a sizable amount toward her own goal. She even decided to take the plunge and become a health coach. She is now my coach. And when I start seeing success I’m jumping in too so I can help other people make a healthy turn around.

I plan to post photos, blog entries and encouragement for others who want some inspiration. And if you see the results you seek you can contact me and I’ll hook you up with my health coach.

Yes, it is a financial investment in the beginning, but I realized looking over my bank statement that I actually spend about this amount on iced coffees, breakfast and lunch at the drive thru when working, or when I’m out and hungry. I’ve invested a lot of money to get here, a little more to get healthy only makes sense.

Day One will be as soon as my tools and food arrive (and yes you do transition to your own foods over time), when I will post my official weight for the start of the journey and photos. I’m sticking myself out there because where I am now doesn’t matter as much as where I’m going to be!

Random Things I Learned In 2013

Courtesy of Keattikorn/freedigitalphotos.net

Courtesy of Keattikorn/freedigitalphotos.net

While I believe we learn something new every day, sometimes very trivial and seemingly without meaning or substance in our life, there are things we learn that we take with us as we move on down the road.  This is a list of random things I learned in 2013 in no particular order.

  • Heavy traffic is much more tolerable when you turn on uplifting music (KLOVE) and seat dance while commuting. ¬†If you cannot seat dance because the car is moving, bobbing your head and singing along at the top of your lungs into your go-cup of coffee like it were a microphone works too. ¬†It will improve your mood immensely and help you start the day off on a positive note.
  • No matter how nice someone is, or claims to be, actions will speak louder than words. ¬†Unless of course those words are written. Pay attention to what they say, do or write about others and you. ¬†It will show their true character.
  • Contrary to what folks say about a tiger cannot change his stripes, people CAN and DO change. ¬†We aren’t tigers and if someone does take time to stop and really evaluate who they are, they can change negative characteristics about themselves, their direction in life, dreams, desires etc.
  • The name, Zelda, means “blessed” in Yiddish. ¬†And The Kabalarian Society research results of the in depth meaning of the name is pretty spot on when it comes to me. ¬†What someone meant for meanness, I have embraced and have learned is really a beautiful, special name. (I still want an autographed copy of the book) Yes, I am, indeed, very blessed.
  • My parents are not going to live forever. ¬†Yes, I realized that long ago, but this year I was really faced with their mortality and it’s caused me to count my blessings. ¬†Life dealt me some painful cards that resulted in my living with my mom again for 3 years, and I’ve been given a wealth of memories thanks to what I thought was a bad thing that turned into a great one.
  • Just when I was ready to give up, literally that very night, and embrace being single for the rest of my life, someone read and responded to my dating profile on a singles site and changed my life forever. ¬†I discovered my heart could safely emerge from the self imposed shell and trust again, love again, and be filled with joy in a relationship one more time. ¬†I’m not his first, but I intend to be his last, and him mine.
  • Essential oils, in 100% pure form, have some serious medicinal qualities that are just amazing. ¬†I have cured my insomnia with Lavender oil, and a sinus infection with Tea Tree oil.
  • Some people are just born to be douche canoes and that cannot be changed unless they want too, and most of them don’t. ¬†Move on and leave them there in their sorry state, they are not worth it.
  • There are times, regardless of how inappropriate it indeed may be, sometimes “really? well _____ (fill in appropriate name) can hug deeze nuts!” IS the correct response.
  • Forgiveness and praying for those who have hurt you, isn’t about them, it’s about you. ¬†And you will be a better person for it as each day progresses. ¬† No, praying, “Lord I forgive them, and ask that You bless them with all that is good right after they are hit by a subway train” is not the idea, but certainly understandable that you might feel that way. ¬†After consistently doing so for 30 days you suddenly find that the root of bitterness has moved on and you actually do feel some care for them.
  • When you sleep with a dog in your room, you soon discover that they too will snore. ¬†And they will sync up their breathing with the humans in the room so that the 2-legged soul rumbles, then the pup answers with kind of a whistle, rumble…whistle…rumble…whistle. ¬†And if you take the perspective that the sounds are those of beings you dearly love, it becomes a comforting sound you can sleep too.
  • A kitten who is hungry at 3 am will not sing the song of her people outside the bedroom door. ¬†Instead she will run up and launch all 3 or 4 pounds of herself against the door, repeatedly, again and again and again until you either fall back asleep or give in and go fill the bowls. ¬†You won’t soon forget to fill them before retiring for the night.
  • Developing an attitude of gratitude about EVERYTHING will help grow happiness in your heart.

Certainly that is not all, but it is a portion of the important things I will take with me as lessons learned, into the new year.

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Dear God, It Is I, Your Marvelous Daughter

Dear Father In Heaven,

MjAxMy01NzRiYmNiOWI0NWUxNzk5I’m a tad raw right now so please, Lord, forgive my frankness. ¬†Though You know my heart and thoughts so any attempt to flower this up with special language won’t hide what You see inside. ¬†At this moment You know that I’m a few shades off of Marvelous.

You made me, fearfully and wonderfully as Psalm 139 says.  Within that weaving of fibers to create this woman You gave exceeding strength in many areas.  Strong willed like the sign of the Bull under which I was born.  Stubborn as the year is long, that is me.  On a negative path that bull headedness can make me very inflexible and difficult to deal with, but when directed down a positive road it gives me the determination and drive to get things done.  To stand and face adversity when it comes my way and fight my way back out of it.  Sometimes things that are difficult and painful, and sometimes that gold ring up ahead that will get me through to the reward.  It keeps me from curling up in a ball and just giving up, I simply do not know how to quit.

You also gave to me a positive spirit that can quickly find the silver lining in those storm clouds, the sunshine and rainbows when the skies unleash a downpour.

You saw to it to provide an inner strength that enables me to keep treading, keeping my head just far enough above the surface to breathe and keep fighting when the flood waters wash over me.

And you gave me compassion and a spirit of forgiveness that often goes far beyond that of my enemies, 70×7 and then some, even though I get stabbed by them over and over again. ¬†I can feel others pain, and have a special place in my heart just for the underdogs of the world.

This past week I feel as if I’m sinking in the high water and I’m confused, exhausted and growing numb. ¬†The strength? Well it is reaching maximum elasticity.

First dad fell, breaking his hip in the wee hours of the morning. ¬†He spent close to 90 minutes dragging himself to a phone in between tears from the physical pain, to call for help. ¬†While we knew it was not a matter of “if” but one of “when”, this really is bad timing. ¬†Following that, within 48 hours he had hip replacement surgery. ¬†He already walked with a walker because of Neuropothy in his legs he cannot feel them. ¬†It’s almost cruel that the hip replacement had to be done considering he will never walk again, as he cannot feel his legs to do what needs to be done for physical therapy! ¬†Now, he is in a nursing home, and me and my siblings are left to do our best to get his things to him, sell the rest, and sell his home. ¬†The memories in that house are vast, complex, and not all that welcome at the moment. ¬†As if this were not bad enough, the leg is now infected.

In the midst of dad’s crisis, my oldest ends up at the hospital with a very high blood pressure, heart palpitations and very high resting heart beat. ¬†Healthy as a horse and in excellent physical shape, this really yanked the rug out from under me. ¬†We’re awaiting test results.

My baby girl is carrying the weight of the world as she watches her man suffer through the loss of a very good friend who suddenly passed away at 36 years old, no immediate explanation, just called from this world.  It is hard to watch her learn that sometimes there are simply no words, no magic wands.  You love them, hold them, pray for them and hope that is the balm their heart and soul needs to start healing.  All the while knowing it will fall short of enough.

And then we learn my mom’s appendix cancer is back. ¬†Again. For the fourth time. ¬†Really? ¬†At a time when my world tips on end, it is my mom who tends to be the one that helps hold things together. ¬†She totally understands that a cup of coffee is often the first step to figuring it all out. ¬† I look to her, admire her, and find my inspiration in HER strength. ¬†This will be her 5th time battling cancer (breast cancer was round 1). ¬†We need her, You need to fix this so she isn’t slowed down while we fix the dad situation. ¬†Coffee on it’s own won’t help with this!!!

I do thank You, for the wonderful man you brought into my life. ¬†He doesn’t know what to say, and that is okay because words really aren’t adequate, from anyone. ¬†Instead I feel his love, see it in his eyes, and his hugs and just being snuggled with him at night give me peace and strength. ¬†And he makes me laugh, and that is healing. ¬†He is my bright spot in all of this, I love him so much!

We’re always taught that You won’t give us more than we can handle. ¬†That is just not true. ¬†You DO give us far more than we can handle sometimes, so that we will learn to lean on You. ¬†Well Lord, I’m here to tell Ya, I’m about at that end of the rope and hanging on here to a small thread. ¬†I could use some Divine assistance down here!

Sure, I can be a real bad-ass, but even I have my limitations.

With love,

Your marvelously imperfect daughter

Friday Confessional

WOOHOO!!!

It is FRIDAY baby!

And I am so thankful, as this was a busy, annoying week!

Confession is good for the soul, so link up and get it all off your chest with us by clicking the icon above!

I confess…

I am not myself today.  No idea who I am but feel totally out of sync with myself.  Weirdness.

I confess…

I have some decisions to make and just not positive which way to go.  Time for prayer and waiting, as usually I find the writing is right there, on the wall, in bold print, if I just relax, meditate on the Word of God, and open up to what I already know in my heart.

I confess…

I really wanted to go with the Knight to the football game (his eldest plays in the band) but I just am not up to it. ¬†I’m exhausted, the allergies have been hell this week, and I just want my jammies and a glass of wine and my blankie. ¬†Oh and of course books, lots of them, probably a dozen on the Kindle that I need and want to read at the moment.

I confess…

Tea sounds delightful too, only something that won’t make me sleepy. ¬†::Thinking:: cinnamon apple spice. Yep that would do it. ¬†SIGH…means I need make a stop at the store though. ¬†Even BIGGER SIGH. ¬†Sticking to Chamomile, the dog was with me and she had a huge fit when I went in to buy oil for the car without her. ¬†A trip to the grocery store and she might have had a stroke.

I confess…

I was very happy that Charlie Hunnam got cast as Christian Grey for the movie based on the book, Fifty Shades of Grey, as he is one of my favorite actors.  Makes me want to re-read the books again!

I confess…

I need to go home, chill and rest up.  I have a fantastic workshop to attend tomorrow and need to be as close to 100% ME again by 9am tomorrow.

How Do You Define Beauty?

547Some time back I saw a thought question, “What does beautiful look like in the dark?” and really contemplated that one. ¬†I eventually included it as part of my dating profile on dating sites, stating that if you didn’t know what beauty looked like in the dark, you weren’t for me. ¬†Not because I thought of myself as unattractive, I know I’m not an unattractive person. ¬†I’ve turned my share of heads over the years, without having to dress in clothes that look like I borrowed them from my daughter. ¬†At 50 I still turn a few heads, not as many as before in my younger days, but then it isn’t all that important. ¬†All I have ever wanted was to be able to turn one head, and keep it turned, my direction forever. ¬†Sure physical attraction is important, but I wanted that head to turn for ALL of me, the entire package. ¬†Not my face, figure etc, but for my mind, my heart, my dreams and desires, my laughter and my tears.

For the past several years I thought that wasn’t possible to find, someone who found me beautiful in the dark. ¬†I’m not talking about physical intimacy, heck I have no issues leaving the lights on for that, I am what I am. ¬†I wanted to find that person who found me beautiful in those areas that are not ‘visible’ to the human eye.

Wouldn’t it be a very interesting world if we were all blind and could only ‘see’ people for who they really are? ¬†Not their vessel, skin color, the hair, makeup or lack of it, a few extra pounds, wrinkles, warts whatever. ¬†But all we would be able to see was their inner person, the heart and soul of the man or woman.

I worked for a few days in a nursing home, while getting my CNA certification. ¬†Age is a real beast to the physical body. ¬†Some folks will be blessed to age well as far as physical appearance, but let me tell you many do not. ¬†Some are almost ‘disgusting’ to look upon, making it difficult to look past the outside and into the heart. ¬†And what of those severely burned, or maimed by accident or war? ¬†Hard to get past the sometimes horrifying exteriors. ¬†Yet that person on the inside is still the same one that at one time maybe we’ d have called sexy or hot. ¬†How many have we all passed by barely looking at, that could have enriched our lives if we had seen past their looks?

There are so many beautiful, interesting, wonderful people in this world who go unseen by us all because they aren’t one of the pretty people. ¬†Sadly, many of the pretty people are down right ugly as sin in the dark, their hearts and souls are rotted to the core. ¬†Selfish, mean spirited and ‘me’ oriented, all they have is their outside shell and one day that will have been nipped and tucked to the limits and they’ll lose that physical beauty and have nothing left.

424928_375886175759726_181805898501089_1684276_1686805568_nI did find someone who finds me attractive on all levels, which blows me away.  He finds my heart, mind and soul to be a huge turn on, in addition to finding me physically attractive.  In the dark, I think it is safe to say, he probably finds me even more beautiful than I could ever be in the light because he loves who I am, not what I look like.

A friend on Facebook posted this video today which brought this blog topic about beauty in the dark back to mind. ¬†How tragic to realize how many persons of value one has missed knowing because they didn’t measure up to a physical standard. ¬†I teared up watching Dustin Hoffman sharing this, because there was a time I was that person others wouldn’t have even given the time of day. ¬†The “ugly duckling”. ¬†And I’d not trade that for the world because those times are what made me drop dead gorgeous in the dark.

What do you look like in the dark, stripped of your exterior?

Monday Quiz About Me

Acting Balanced

Welcome to Monday Quiz About Me –¬†hosted by¬†Acting Balanced¬†and¬†Touristic.

Here are FOUR QUESTIONS that those participating answer.  We all post a 5th question for YOU, the readers, to answer in the comment section.  Click the badge above to link up and read up!

HERE ARE THE QUESTIONS:

1. What is your favorite summer activity?
2. Do you have a honey-do list? or a to-do-list of your own?
3. Would you go for a massage?  Facial?  Spa treatment?
4. What was the last song you danced to?

MY ANSWERS:

1. What is your favorite summer activity?

Not certain what that would be other than NOT whining about how cold it is? ¬†I hate being cold, makes the arthritis in my hands, neck and back even worse. ¬†And therefore, while gorgeous to look at, I hate snow because I’m required to actually go outside in it. ¬†I rarely comment on how hot it is in the summer because I’d rather be sitting there sweating than be cold. ¬†Oh sure cooking out is great but 3 foot of snow wouldn’t stop me from making my way to the grill for a good steak, never has. ¬†Hmm…in all honesty that would have been my sister most recently, but I cheered her on from the door! ¬†ūüôā

2. Do you have a honey-do list? or a to-do-list of your own?

Na, HoneyBabyMine the Knight does more than I could ever ask for, he doesn’t need a list. ¬†I do make lists for myself, however, as I’d forget my own name some days if it wasn’t on my driver’s license to remind me. ¬†Lately I have taken to using Evernote, and I LOVE it. ¬†Talk about being mega organized, and it all syncs between my phone, laptop and Kindle Fire.

3. Would you go for a massage?  Facial?  Spa treatment?

Hmm…never had a massage but sounds delightful if I can find a female masseuse. ¬†I am real funny about people I don’t know being in my personal space, and even more select as to who I allow to touch me. ¬†Not real big on the idea of a strange man touching me even in a professional manner. ¬†Heck my OB-GYN is a female for that very reason. ¬†As far as spa treatments go, I think a day at the spa is a ridiculously over priced deal. ¬†Give me my home spa with essential oils and I’m just fine, thanks.

4. What was the last song you danced to?

Wow that would be Good Morning Рby Mandisa, LOVE that song and I put it on and dance around the office a bit to wake up and set my tone for the day.

OKAY YOUR TURN, ANSWER THE FOLLOWING!!!

5.  You go the mailbox and find a letter to you with no return address.  Inside is $1,000 and a note saying you may not spend it on bills but can use it on anything else you would like, as it is a treat for you.  What do you spend it on?

Friday Confessional…

 photo HighHeeledLove_zpsbbcc137c.jpgWOOHOOO!!!

Confession time!

If you have something to get off of your chest, click the little girl above and come share.

I confess…

I have a headache, sinus related that I can tell, and  I fear it is the start of a summer cold.  This would just suck because I want to have a relaxing weekend. Chilling does not include filling tissues with a nose full of snot over and over again.

I confess…

I am thoroughly enjoying being a dog owner again. ¬†My daughter’s little darling, Penny, the yorkie, is making for more interesting work days. ¬†I bring her to the office so she isn’t caged during the day and she is enjoying it. ¬†She has toys, a nice mat to lay on, and a pack-n-play if I need to keep her isolated while meetings are going on. ¬†Mostly she wanders the office with her nose on the floor looking for food. ¬†I swear, she is fed!

I confess…

It is a 2 Monster kind of day. As in Monster Energy, Absolutely Zero. ¬†The can that has 2 servings?….I am on the second can now. ¬†Not so much for the energy, but more for my ADD, I am having issues focusing. ¬†12 billion thoughts in my brain and I cannot seem to nail down just one to work on. ¬†This sucks.

I confess…

the secretI decided to start reading¬†The Secret. ¬†I am very intrigued as many are raving about the movie and book, so I am giving it a fair chance to impress me. ¬†If you have read the book or seen the movie, please comment as I’d love to hear other’s opinions.

I confess…

I am now currently reading too many books, if that is even possible:

The Secret – by Rhonda Byrne

Every Woman’s Battle – by ¬†Shannon Ethridge

Black Listed By The PTA – by Lela Davidson

Be A Direct Selling Superstar – by Mary Christensen

A View From The Top – various Avon Senior Executive Unit Leaders (SEULs)