Tag Archives: haven

Echos Of The Past…

29 Jun

I  hadn’t been through the door in over a year.  I wasn’t really sure how I would feel as I entered there.  Earlier in the day I dropped off some things needed for later that day, but I was in a hurry, and had a helper with me.  I really didn’t have time to think or feel…

But later, when I returned, the  circumstances were different. ..

Once upon a time it was a haven, a nest, a safe place that made me feel loved and secure.  The furnishings and atmosphere were warm and inviting, nothing fancy, but it was HOME.

But now it was different.

While I could hear the echos of the past within the walls, the present drove them back.

Nothing felt cozy and welcoming.

The furnishings are different, and while some of the occupants are the same, there are others now, the place just felt unfamiliar.

I don’t know what I expected to feel, but there was nothing friendly, inviting, or secure in what I sensed in the atmosphere.  In fact, it felt rather empty and hollow, even rather negative at times.  But mostly just empty.

There were times, around various individuals, I felt judgment and coldness despite the smiles and hugs, it was somewhat suffocating.

Other times a warm, missed, loved, and longed for…  But mostly I just felt completely out of place.

I felt very out of place…

As memories of the past crept in from time to time, I began to wonder…

did I ever really belong there….

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Day 12 – Something I Am OCD About

17 Feb

All About Me  In 30 Days – Day 12

I first want to qualify that I am not truly OCD, at least I don’t think so, about anything.  Not in the true definition of OCD at least.

But I AM picky about certain things being a certain way.  One thing I am OCD about is my bed.  It has to be made every day shortly after I get up.  I cannot and will not get into the bed if it has not been made.  I am not sure why this is but my bed must be made  before I can get into it. 

Part of it, in my opinion, goes back to my feeling that my bedroom should be my nest, my haven, my safe place.  I like my room to be in order, things put away and the room clean.  It gives me a sense of peace when I am in my room.  I chose the color to help bring about warm and happy feelings, picked my bedding because when I saw it, it sparked good feelings.  Things being put away and in order helps with that peacefulness.

I’ve always felt that the bedroom should be special.  If married it should be a warm, inviting, restful place.  Again, a nest and haven for the couple.  It should be off limits to the rest of the family and to friends.  Oh, and no animals.  For now, because I am single,  I really do not mind my cat being in my room, or the other cats that come in and sleep on the bed with me.  But if I were married again, no animals share the bed or the room.  Rover and the kittens can sleep in the guest room, on the floor outside the master bedroom, anywhere they like except mine and the spouse’s room.

The center of the bedroom is the bed, so the bed MUST be made.  No ifs, ands,  or buts about it.

T.G.I.F. Ramblings…

7 May

I’ve said it before,  having a job makes Friday mean something again!  It is the final day of the work week and I am very happy about that.  Don’t get me wrong, I very much love my job and the folks I work with day to day, but the weekend always is a welcome change to the routine.  I like getting to wake up when I feel like it on Saturdays, and staying up late on Friday night  without having to worry about being sleepy in the morning.

This past week has been adjustment time, getting used to sleeping in a different home, a new room, new noises in the night, driving a new route to work and living with 4 other women.  The work route really hasn’t been a big deal, takes an extra five minutes to get home but that is hardly noticed in the commute.  The new room and night sounds have not been an issue, I sleep very deep and short of the Rumpke truck on the street at 4:20am this morning (is it really necessary to start so darn early???) and a stray, severe thunderstorm Wednesday night, I’ve slept just fine.  My bed is wonderfully comfortable and the gentle breeze across the bed from the window has been outstanding.

I’ve said this before too, I hate cats.  The only good cat in my opinion is a dead one, unless you have a farm and they are barn cats perhaps.  My niece’s cat, Noel, is growing on me, however, and is the only exception to date on the disdain for felines.  She is a very beautiful cat, shades of gray with darker gray stripes and beautiful green eyes that clearly show her unending curiosity.  She is only about 7 months old so she is still a kitten at heart and loves to play.  We stalked and chased each other this morning while I was getting ready for work, much to her delight.  Okay I will admit I too was enjoying the game.  Her collar has a little bell on it so I had the advantage in the game when she thought she was in stealth mode.  I often find her laying on my windowsill watching the world go by outside.  She loves an open window and mine is most often open as I love the fresh air even on a chilly night.  The only thing I truly find irritating is that she sheds, leaving her calling card on my desk chair, and I am allergic to her so if I forget to take my allergy medication I am miserable.  But I keep a lint roller near by so it isn’t all bad, and so far so good on the meds.

It is amazing how different a household functions when it is all women.  Dinner dishes are a group effort, everyone clearing, someone rinsing and loading the dishwasher, pans get washed and dried and things are quickly cleaned up and put away.  No need to ask, it just happens.  Someone always notices the litter is in need of changing, or sweeping around the litter box is needed, laundry gets done regularly by whoever happens past the laundry room, the vacuum gets ran, anything that needs attention just seems to happen.  There is order.  Not necessarily peace, as the 16 and 19 year old have their ‘moments’  but there is order!

Last night we had our first gal-pow-wow to discuss  projects around the house.  Every0ne chimed in with things we know need to be done, like replacement windows, tile etc, then we all discussed which needed the attention first. At the end we tossed any thing on the discussion table we thought needed to be addressed that wasn’t a major project.  No arguing just discussion about things to ensure the household runs smoothly, and it all went well.  This living arrangement is great and seems to be working for all involved which is rather nice.  We’ve been in the house exactly 7 days today and already it feels like this is how it has always been.

This coming week the painting will take place and I cannot wait!  I love my new bedding, my room is so nice and the paint I’ve picked will be beautiful and complete the look. Well almost, I need a black mini blind to really set off the curtains but that will be ordered this weekend. I love my new room, it is my haven when I need some me time.

This morning had the potential to be a disaster for my great mood but thanks to the ex it got righted.  Seems the car battery decided it was time to give up the ghost and of course this was discovered when it was time to leave for work.  Out of habit I texted Pete  and told him the battery was dead.  He came over and jumped me and told me he’ll handle getting a new one tomorrow, but suggested I take his jumper cables in case I need a jump to get home because he doesn’t want to drive 45 minutes to assist me later today.  Okay so I’ve been calling him ‘dickhead’ but I gotta be fair he is a good guy and it was nice of him to come rescue me this morning which I greatly appreciated.

In the moving process I lost something that I am not missing one bit, five more pounds!  My jeans are even loser now and when the next five drops off it will be time for a few new pair.  I haven’t been trying to get weight off lately, but all the trips up and down steps and carrying boxes then watching more closely what I eat has helped.  It doesn’t hurt that this house is so big, a walk to my room from the kitchen is indeed a walk, as is a run down to the laundry room.  No matter where we go in the house steps are involved.  NO COMPLAINTS here, all that distance is doing me good and I am happy about it.  Last night my sister-in-law walked over with the twins and she mentioned it is exactly half a mile to their house.  I will be walking over there and back a lot this summer rather than driving, and walking down to the park to hike the 3 miles of trails in the woods.  I need the exercise and those trails through the woods are beautiful.  My son’s former fiance, and still close friend to our family, lives down the street and loves to walk so I have no doubt that I will have a willing buddy for hiking.

One of my favorite bars is about a half mile away, Linnie’s Pub.  They have a nice outdoor area out back with cornhole boards, and inside is just one of those nice, neighborhood bars where you are bound to run into someone you know.  It will become our regular hang out this summer and in fact we plan to start stopping in this weekend.  Oh we’ll still hit The Pirate’s Den and J’s Sports Bar when TimePiece or Chuck Brisban and The Tuna Project are playing, but our hangout of choice is going to be Linnie’s.  Oh and to all my friends that like to head north to the ‘country club’, don’t worry, I’ll be back soon!

Random question of the day:  If you could snap your fingers and appear somewhere else, where would you be?

At this moment if I snapped my fingers and could appear somewhere else it would be on the deck at home.  The backyard is up against woods and is frequented by deer.  It is very shady on the deck as we have a lot of trees around the house and it is very quiet there.  It is my favorite place to have coffee in the evenings and soon on weekend mornings when weather is in our favor.  Being at home on the deck with a cup of coffee just sounds wonderful right now.

Okay enough rambling for now. No doubt more to come later.

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