Little Things Are Big Things

The little things in life just thrill my socks off, to me those little things make for the big things, memories.

Yesterday a very special and dear friend and I went riding on his motorcycle for several hours.  I love being in the wind, it is therapy for me.  We talked at length while we rode and stopped to grab a quick drink (water and energy drink).  Relaxing and enjoyable, we share numerous memories riding the back roads together.  He is one of those special, true friends I can call when crisis hits and he is there for me, and I’m there for him.  One of the only ones walking who knows every deep, dark secret I have and never judges me for them, just loves and prays for me.  We also share our faith which is great as we talk openly about it.

Today more memories were made after church when me and my kiddos went out of lunch.  I love that we all worship together, even the ex and his wife though they were not at the same service with us today but usually they are and no that is not awkward at all.  After services we hit one of our favorite places for lunch.  I just love spending time with my kids and grandkids, they are jewels in my crown for sure.  Nice to know too, in chatting, that my kids do not think I was a bad mom even though I know I made mistakes, they love me and see me as a good mother.

The memories of my grandson whispering across the table to me with his little mischievous grin that he took off his socks and shoes (a real sneaky thing to a 2-year-old), then later having to remove mac & cheese from his shoes before they went back on (guess he missed his mouth a few times) won’t be forgotten.  I cannot imagine life without my family around me.

Great quote I heard on the way to services:

Joy is the best makeup ~ Anne Lamott

Yes, yes it is.  And my life is full of joy, yes I really DO love my life.  Nothing about it I’d trade right now, it is full of the wealth of blessings and love, memories and laughter, family and a few very good friends.

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Sunday Evening Coffee Musings: Plan B

iStock_000044919954SmallI’m sitting here with my ever present cup of coffee, musing about the past week.  For a week that should have been totally awesome, and it was pretty marvelous, it also was book-ended with hurt.

The book end at the beginning of the week was coming home and finding in my mailbox the gift I had sent off to a former friend.  It was nothing expensive, just a small thing, sent as an olive branch of sorts.  It was returned to me and that did hurt.  I will leave it at that and just say that I will always pray for her despite her feelings toward me.

In between the book ends life was pretty good.  Sticking to my blocked calendar to do my classes and enjoying the learning process.

The book end at the finish of the week brought more hurt and plainly sucked.

Friday is my favorite day of the week.  Yes, it is the end of the work week but it is more because I love reaching the end of a week and knowing I accomplished much.  My work week is always wonderful, the team is great and most days it is stressful but fun.  I went in as always with my trusty sidekick, my Yorkie, and started my morning.  It was only me and the production manager.  After a bit our web designer and IT chick showed up.  We were getting new virus software and servers set up etc as the company is about to go to the next level.  I was really excited about this, the mission and vision were coming together and I was finally in a class to learn QuickBooks and was understanding it this time.  The production manager came in my office sat down, and told me as gently as he was able that my job was being eliminated.  Seems I made too much money and they couldn’t afford to keep me.  Because they have to bring on someone else to handle emergency services with their new franchise, they had to cut someone and that someone was me.

Needless to say I ran through a variety of emotions but ended on very hurt.  We always made decisions as a team at the table, our ‘style’ being like a motorcycle club (MC).  But lately decisions were being made without the input of all members and this was one of those.  I never was given a chance to offer to take a pay cut.  So, I joined the ranks of the unemployed on Friday morning.

It was time for Plan B.

I packed what I cared to take, left the rest behind and headed home.  Channeling my frustration and pain into house work I had things in order when mom got home at lunch.  That is when we sat down like we Divas here do and plotted and planned.  The first order of business was getting me a laptop since I had always used my one from work and they wouldn’t even allow me to borrow it over the weekend.  We hit the store and purchased a nice one, so I am thankful for that blessing.

Our next plan was that since I had been praying about it a lot, I would jump into my Avon business full time.  40 hours a week will now be devoted to sales and recruiting and building up a business that can support me.  I know personally plenty of reps doing just that but I had only played at it as a hobby.  But now, my ‘why’ is pretty substantial and so it will be a full time job.  We have a large roll of paper that we cut into a big planning board on the wall of the Avon office, we worked on brochures and threw our first Girls Night Out Friday night.  We are rolling forward with well thought out plans and not looking back.

That is the benefit of living with your female family members, your Divas.  When the cards are down, they plot, plan, wrap around you, fill your wine glass and help you figure things out.  This morning at church I realized that God is never wrong and this is a blessing.  Who knows what will happen to the company, but He removed me far from it all and I have to accept that there is something much better out here for me.  Something that truly honors Him with integrity and that my life will be blessed in more ways than I can imagine.  Every song on the radio on the way to church was about trusting, and His plan unfolding in bigger ways than we could know, so I am going to give it all to God and know that He has a better place for me.  I will be working for myself now, so I cannot be a layoff victim again.

On a positive note, my evenings will now be free, as I won’t have to try to divide my time after the office, between leisure and Avon.  That leaves more time to do my class for Nouthetic Counseling too, so I can speed up the process of getting my certification as a biblical counselor.

Last night I watched my grandchildren and I walked away with new knowledge through the eyes of a 20 month old.  He trusts beyond a shadow of a doubt that his daddy is there (mommy too).  He cries when he wakes from a nap and a parent is there, he is hungry, they feed him, he hurts and they comfort him. Any need he has they handle it and it is met.  Surely then God, my heavenly Father who has all the riches and power of the universe, will go far beyond what an earthly parent can do if I can just trust Him as my grandson trusts his parents, to protect me and supply all of my needs.

So beginning Tuesday I start working my Avon business full time, working like a boss!

 

A Very Blessed Life

By the time this posts (it is scheduled) all the paper will have been torn from gifts, food consumed, hugs and laughs along with memories shared and new ones made.   But right now it is early morning, just me, the cats, my dog, a hot cup of coffee, Christmas music, Christmas candle burning, and the first toast from my new toaster eaten.  Outside was a glorious sunrise with lots of color, fitting for such a glorious day!

My honey is working until noon, then he will bring his kids home and we’ll open presents with them.  Last night we visited my daughter at her house to exchange gifts with her, my son-in-law (soon to be) and his son, my soon to be new grandson.  We had dinner and enjoyed some laughs, and made the first memories I’ll have in my daughter’s home.  I don’t have adequate words for the feeling in my heart as I watched my daughter cooking dinner in her kitchen with her honey chatting with mine in the living room, her dogs moving about, and just the feeling of seeing before me my baby, all grown up now, a woman with a career and family.  This child I carried within me, I knew her personality before anyone else did, she knew my voice before she knew anyone else’s and the way time has flown from the toddler in diapers crawling across a huge gift to open it.  Seems like just yesterday.

My son will be over later with his beautiful wife, my spunky, 8 year old, red-headed granddaughter and my grandson who turns 1 on the day after this special day.  Again, the memories I have of him, just a little blond toddler, clapping that he got the My Buddy doll he wanted, and how Buddy would go everywhere with us for quite some time after that.  This little boy that I also carried in my body as he grew, I knew his personality as well, and he too knew only my voice for many months, all grown up now.  A husband, dad to the little red-head before having one of his own, yet thanks to himself having a wonderful step-dad to set the bar, she is very much his baby girl.  And again, there are no words to do justice to what it did to my mother’s heart last December 26th when his wife gave birth to their son, and standing there seeing my son holding his son and watching him with his daughter, suddenly I loved that boy more than I ever imagined a mother could love a child.

1476782_567665776652284_1385290490_nI sit here at the table, looking around this beautiful home that is now mine, shared lovingly by the man who I love so very much.  A home he purchased with the hope of finding me to share it with one day.  My step-mom tiara is all dusted and shined up, and once again I wear it proudly half of the week when his kids grace this home with their smiles, laughter, and yes bickering as kids do.   This home that welcomed me, and my cats and dog.  A man who teases me and makes me laugh daily, and had no problem at all with my putting up and decorating 2 large Christmas trees.  And then a smaller one his daughter decorated, and the Charlie Brown one on the table.  There isn’t a Scrooge bone in his body, he is like a fun, big kid and enjoys the holidays.  I honestly never thought I’d be able to love again as intensely as I love this man, my Knight, but what a wonderful surprise to find out my heart still had so much more to give.  Even more, to discover what it feels like to truly be loved by someone in return.

Over the weekend my sister and I went shopping, both of us had all of our shopping to do yet.  I miss her and the others in the Diva Den.  We had so much fun and laughed so hard we nearly pee’d our jeans.  Crowds and chaos didn’t phase us one bit, we were too happy and having too much fun to let anything annoy us.  I may not have a lot of money, but I will find things that folks want if I can.  In search of a toilet paper holder, the kind that stands in the bathroom and can hold multiple rolls including one ready for use, and then marching through the stores carrying this item like we were leading a parade.  Hey, it’s what my daughter said they needed.  She spent hours trying to locate a butter dish for me, finding only a hideous ‘french porcelain’ one for $50 before calling me and learning I’d be tickled to have a toaster because I don’t own one.  Her sharing her tales of finding these items cracked me up and made it even more precious to me to have a 2 slice toaster on my counter this morning while I munched peanut butter on toast!  Believe me, I am delighted in life with the little things.

1485003_567105990041596_630222255_nIn my quest for the perfect gifts, I bought my honey something I heard him lament not having the money to purchase on several occasions, drum lessons.  He plays well, having both an electric and acoustic set, but he wants to play better.  So, I tucked that into a file drawer in my brain months ago as the perfect idea for Christmas.  Took some mental rummaging as this 50 year old brain has a bit of a messy system up in the old noggin, but I found it and bought them.  But how do you wrap a gift certificate for  man who loves to joke around?  Why in a Snuggie box of course!  See, he has said it a few times he will NEVER own a Snuggie.  Me, I’m a 3x over, card carrying member of that cult so I find it hilarious that he feels this way.  While shopping I came across a prank gift box.  It was too priceless NOT to purchase and use to wrap the certificate in.  I stuffed it full of balled up tissue paper to give it some weight, but the box, oh it is a priceless one.  A family size one, large enough to cover an SUV it says.  The family size Blankeez that is so wide it covers 2 sofas!  Yes that was it!  The look on his face will no doubt have been worth the few bucks to purchase this prank box.

We will head over to my mom’s with the rest of the family later today.  I look forward to this as I have this past year realized my parents won’t be around forever.  Of course I ‘know’ this but it is settling in as I see dad in a nursing home and mom undergoing chemo for the next 5.5 months, and how hard this first few weeks have been on her.  The part I love about Christmas is not all the gifts, but the people.  I love being around my crazy family so much!  Each quirky, unique soul is deeply loved and treasured by me, and any time we spend together is fantastic to me.  I have great memories of childhood with them, and so many more that were made over the years.

Yes, I really do have a wonderfully happy and blessed life.  You cannot buy what I have in a store, there is no return policy or store credit for any of it, and I’d never change a single minute.  The good, the not so good, the joy and pain, it is all part of what makes up this marvelous life I’ve been given.

2014 is so full of surprises and fun, I cannot wait!

Snow Day Coffee Musings

Coffee cup with steam“Snow is a great equalizer. It softens rough edges, hides ugly imperfections under its pristine cloak, quiets the harshness of sound. Traveling in it gives us all the same struggle (& a little sense of adventure) as we forge our way. That’s why I love the snow!” ~ Mary Herling Manifold

When I saw that this morning I loved it and asked Mary if I could quote her today in my blog post.  She is one of my many cousins on my dad’s side that I grew up with playing under grandma and grandpa’s dining room table while the adults sat around it telling stories we all remember well to this day.  Some very fond memories from that time.  I’m so thankful for Facebook as it has kept us all in touch when our family yahoo group turned in to a political soap box.

It is snowing this morning again, looks like we might have picked up another inch or  two.  Fresh covering over all of the foot prints and sled tracks on the hill in back, and the trees are all covered again.  So beautiful to sit in here and look at with my coffee in hand, Christmas trees all lit up and music playing.  I love working from home, I get so much more done this way.  Doesn’t hurt that I love my home!

Yesterday I made a decision that I have been pondering for several weeks.  In November of 2010, I had started another blog page for my faith, This Broken Angel – A Prodigal Daughter’s Return To Her Faith.  It isn’t that my faith isn’t woven into my life, or that I am in some way ashamed and want to hide it.  But not everyone believes as I do, or wants to read about that.  It can get kind of deep and The Musings Of Marvelous Martha is not faith focused, it’s about the crazy life I am living and not sure this makes any sense but the two are linked.  Sometimes I will reblog a post from there to this page but if you are at all interested you can skip on over there and follow it too.  Oops, hijacked myself.  The decision was if I was going to brush the dust off of that page and keep it, actually posting to it, or just let it go.  I decided that it will help me to stay focused daily on my walk so it is all cleaned up with a new look and I’m posting on it again.  Even bought the URL as when you invest money in something you tend to apply more effort.  🙂  And when you invest your time, you tend to put more time and effort into the task, it all feeds off itself and grows.

I just noticed I have 57 emails in my direct sales inbox for my 3 direct sales businesses.  I swear they mate and multiply over night sometimes.  Oh well no big deal. I will get to them later today.

You know what I love? This sounds nutty, but the smell of the carpets being cleaned!  Right now mine are being cleaned as I sit here.  If you are in the greater Cincinnati area, I recommend Blue Sky Carpet Cleaning.  They do residential and commercial and they rock!  6 rooms and a hallway for $99 right now.  You can’t beat that and who doesn’t want nice looking rugs for the holidays?  🙂  Not sure what the deodorizer is they use but it smells great.  With 3 cats and a dog, I may do this every 4-6 months.  They are a small, local business, 859-307-5690.  Support small, local businesses!!!

Hmm…my coffee cup is empty, time for a new pot of coffee.  And then back to work as soon as the carpet cleaners are finished. (I’m now standing at the kitchen counter with my laptop working and watching my carpets look AMAZING.  🙂

An i-WHAT????

Let me first state that I would by no means ever be up for the Mother Of The Year award.  I was far from the perfect mom.  Believe me, I tried to be a good one, but I did fall short.  Hopefully my kids forgive areas where I came up short in parenting skills.  I tried to make up for it in love.

I am not an expert in how to raise them or teach them.  I don’t even put much stock in the advise by the so-called experts.  And as for the whole “it takes a village to raise a child”  I am so unimpressed with what the village has put out that I wouldn’t let them dog sit!

One thing I do know is that we’ve raised a generation of kids who think they must be continuously entertained, and the current bottle feeders are only going to be worse.  10 year olds with smart phones, tablets, iPads, video games and most cannot count as high as the number of TV channels available to them each day.  Parents and kids out to dinner, each child with their own DVD player or tablet, zero interaction with mom and dad.  It is sad to me, as when I was growing up we had family time over our meals.  We all talked to mom and dad and each other.  It was a time of sharing, laughter and a wealth of memories were made.  More and more kids today are being raised by technology.

ipotty-boxYou can imagine, then, my reaction to seeing this little wonder.  REALLY????  Johnny and Susie cannot be potty trained without a damn iPad in front of them?  That is NOT potty training!  You aren’t teaching them to recognize the signs that their body needs to eliminate waste product.  This is a crap shoot! (no pun intended)  They spend a while sitting there playing Angry Birds or Bejeweled and then what, get an ice cream cone if they get up and there happens to be something in the potty?  Distract them from the task at hand by playing games on your iPad while they get hemorrhoids from sitting on the crapper for extended periods of time.  Gee, why don’t we come up with a little side table and junior can sit, shit and eat all from one dandy little spot!

shaking my head

iPotty? I think NOT!

Monday Quiz About Me

Acting Balanced

It is Monday, which means quiz time.  Not to worry, everyone passes this, because it’s about YOU!  Well about ME on my page, but you can link up by clicking the icon above, grab the badge and questions and make it all about you.

Add a 5th question on your post for your readers to answer in the comment section, and be sure to answer #5 on mine, in my comment section.  Come on now, show some LOVE and if you stopped by, answer that question for me!

THE QUESTIONS:
1. June 17th is Eat Your Vegetables Day… do you need a special day to celebrate veggies? Your favorite veg?

2. How did you spend your Father’s Day?  Or for those who don’t have Father’s Day on June 16th, what did you do this weekend?

3. June 18th is National Splurge Day… if you were (are) going to participate what would/will you splurge on?

4. What is the farthest you’ve ever traveled from home?

My answers:

1. June 17th is Eat Your Vegetables Day… do you need a special day to celebrate veggies? Your favorite veg?

Na, I love veggies! Just about any one of them rocks with me.  Favorite is a toss up between corn and lima beans.  Mix them together and oh I am in veggie heaven.

2. How did you spend your Father’s Day?  Or for those who don’t have Father’s Day on June 16th, what did you do this weekend?

In the morning, the Knight’s kids were with us.  After they left we went to my brother’s and saw his crew, my mom and my dad.  My sister-in-law made enough food to feed a small army, all of which was AMAZINGLY good, especially the grilled items.  Thanks again Yatz & Angie for the hospitality.  Some day my sister will be at the same place at the same time so she can meet the Knight.

3. June 18th is National Splurge Day… if you were (are) going to participate what would/will you splurge on?

Not even certain, to be entirely honest.  I hate shopping for clothes so that would never be on the list.  Maybe a new set of gel nails?  I do need them and keep putting it off because I hate spending the money.  But I LOVE having them, they make me feel feminine.  I enjoy being girlie!

4. What is the farthest you’ve ever traveled from home?

Jamaica, which I would love to visit again!  The people there are so amazing, treated us like royalty and the country is so beautiful.

Bonus question – your turn to respond!!!! Just answer in the comment section please!!

5.  If you could have any unconventional/exotic pet, what would you have for your pet?

Friday Confessional

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WOOHOO!!!!

It is F-R-I-D-A-Y baby!!!!

Confession, it is said, is good for the soul, so let’s get started!

I confess…

I am just about dancing on the ceiling!  Okay so I know it is likely water weight but when the numbers on the scale begin to DECREASE I get happy and very very motivated.  3 pounds down this morning and that is making all this water (I could seriously row to work) worth it.  And giving up my wine for flavored water, and measuring everything that is going into my mouth.  Next step is to add in walking.  I WILL beat my mom, sister, and sis-in-law in Biggest Loser score.

I confess…

Tonight it will be hard to be good.  Train ride, dinner, all with a dear friend and my kids and their SO’s.  But I WILL make an effort.  It is the start of ‘pre-partying’ or ‘tailgating’ for my 50th next Friday.  By good I do mean watching what I eat and drink.  I mean it, I have every intention of being very careful.  And grandma used to say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  I’m screwed.

I confess…

That wine glass from yesterday’s post?  I should have stayed off of that website.  SO many amazing ones to chose from.

I confess…

When I was out with my friend last Saturday, the topic of Internet dating came up as that is how we originally met.  I got to strolling down memory lane, wondering what fodder was there for my novels in the making.  I have to say that it was fun, meeting so many men and enjoying conversation.  But there were a few horror stories in there as well.  It could make for a great book in and of itself if not a few chapters.  So, for shits and giggles, I checked to see if my profiles were still there, and they were inactive but accessible, so I activated them.  Holy Mother Of Freak Parades, into my mailbox came the full blown marching band.  Thankfully I’m able, due to past experiences, to weed through the clowns and ring masters to find the truly REAL and nice guys on these sites.  They are few and far between.  NO I am not looking to date, was just curious, and yes I know all about the cat and curiosity.

I confess…

I am about to go devour a wonderful salad with tuna and fresh avocado on it.  Avocado is a new thing for me, and while I’m still acquiring a taste for it, I’ll admit it ain’t bad!

The Landscape Of 2013

375254_588441514504373_587190092_nWhen I first told my mom I was getting a divorce, back in February 2010, she looked at me and said, “you think the world is ending now, but trust me, a year from now the landscape of your life is going to be so different than it is at this moment.”  It was hard to believe that anything could be different than what I felt at that time, the pain and depression, and that it would be better than I was able at that time to imagine, but I kept those words in my heart and mind as I drifted mindlessly through the process.

The thing about mom is she is right about 99.9% of the time.  And wouldn’t you know it, one year out, January of 2011, my life was indeed very different.  My first Christmas as a divorcee was past me, and my first New Year’s Eve.  I not only survived it, but wow what an amazing holiday season it had been.  No longer married to Ebenezer Scrooge, I  found so much joy again in the season and relished the memories I made through that year.  I had moved in with my mom, sister and 2 nieces.  We had 2500 square feet of new home to enjoy and I discovered that despite the many differences (and similarities) in our personalities, and the nay-sayers that said it would never work, it rocked.  We laughed a lot around here. Daily in fact and we still do.  I can still count on one hand, though admittedly only about one digit is left to spare, the number of times I’ve gotten into a heated argument or confrontation with any of my housemates.  In that time I discovered it wasn’t me that had the ugly attitude and temper for 22 years.

As 2012 is coming to a close, and January looms over the hill in less than 24 hours, I realized that it will be 3 years now since that day when the ex told me he wanted out of my life.  The day my world changed forever and life became known as “before the announcement/after the announcement”.  And again this year the landscape of my life has changed very much.

So, what things changed, what did I learn in 2012?  That is really what this is post is all about.

CHANGES IN THE LANDSCAPE

*My son married on St. Patty’s Day and I gained a daughter-in-law and granddaughter (my first grandchild).

*My first grandson was born the day after Christmas, to my son and his wife, making me a grandma twice over.

*My younger brother (the older of the two brothers) married the woman I believe is the love of his life, on 12/30/12, in a flash wedding ceremony at the local conservatory.  We all walked in, located the spot that they as a couple determined was a good, quieter one, and the minister began the ceremony.  With visitors to the conservatory who happened to be in the room, or wandered in, all looking on with us close family, they were married.  Then we were off to a wonderful (I cannot say enough about the food OMG) dinner to celebrate.  I loved this as we have waited, not too patiently, for this day to finally arrive.

*I did not end up marrying at the nationals for the “outlaw” motorcycle club that the now ex-boyfriend (but very very dear friend) was a member.  I did not end up marrying at all.  I’m single but honestly more than content being so.  I’ve learned to relish my singleness and not at all sure I will ever marry again.  Not closing the door on that but it is no longer on my bucket list to marry again.

*The ex-hubby tied the knot while on vacation in Jamaica this year, and much to my surprise I not only wasn’t hurt by it, I was thrilled for them both!  And over joyed for my children, even though they are adults, she is a wonderful person to have in their lives and I believe has made their lives that much richer with her love of them.

*I went back to ‘school’ and achieved my certificate to be a nurse aide.  In a few weeks I’ll take my state test and hopefully find a job in this field quickly.  I loved working with the residents in the nursing home during clinicals and think I may have found my niche in life.

THINGS I LEARNED IN 2012

*No one is responsible for my happiness.  I am not lonely because I am not ‘attached’ to someone.  I’m not ‘alone’ either.  I knew all of this but as the year progressed it came to be better understood on deeper levels to me.  I am independent, confident, and comfortable as Marti.  I am not “just Marti” because I am not “Marti and ______ “, but rather I am MARTI – marvelous, fun, quirky Marti.  I am happy, have fun, enjoy life and love me as I am.

*I do have areas of me and my life that  need to improve, and I’m actively working on those.

*My faith is very important to me, and I need to take nurturing that faith more seriously.

*95+mph on the back of a Harley on the highway is liberating, crazy, amazing….and I’m okay if I never do that again.  Oh don’t get me wrong, I was terrified of highways at all up until the Biker/Cowboy, but in a pack of riders who are riding like they just stole the motorcycles (some probably had if I was honest with myself), it was an outstanding rush!  But not wise and certainly not something I want to keep doing.  I had my moments on that one, crossed it off the bucket list.

*People I had admired, looked up to, and had inspired me, people I thought were over all good people…can turn out to to be evil, vindictive people.  And many who play the victim are not only the ones doing the victimizing, they usually are just seeking attention.

*It is perfectly okay to write whatever I want in order to vent and get it out of my system, but it isn’t always necessary to hit “publish” once I am finished writing.  Somethings are better left between me and the keyboard, or to be published at a later date in my novels or on my pen-name/ghost blog.  No I do not share that one, sorry.  It is the place for things I don’t publish under my real identity to avoid hurting people I love.

*My son continues to amaze me, but that is another post.  But one thing I learned, just when you think you cannot possibly love your children anymore than you already do…they have children of their own and your heart swells bigger as you watch them hold their own child and you find you love them more and in a brand new way.

The landscape of 2013 is before me, and over the next 12  months it will change, grow, parts will die off and when I look up at the end of this year, it will look familiar, no doubt, but it will be again so different from what it is now.

He Is Here!!!!

It is currently 1:12am on 12/27/12.  I am sitting here sipping a glass of wine, unwinding from such an amazing night!

I arrived at the hospital at just after 3pm on 12/26/12 and went right up to the labor and delivery floor in search of my son and his wife.  They were there to give birth to their son.  I was blessed that despite a winter storm blowing outside complete with snow and freezing rain, Cowboy took me up there in a 4-wheel drive truck so that I could be there to hold my grandson shortly after his birth.  I had hesitated for a while, knowing how hard it is to have others there when in labor and after, but I just couldn’t stay away.

At 10:32pm, weighing in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces, and 20 inches long, Collin Patrick arrived into this world.  Shortly after his birth, the nurse came and summoned Ryann, the big sister, to come meet her brother.  They spent some time, just daddy, mommy, Ryann and Collin, before we all were ushered in to meet the newest addition to our families.

He is a beautiful baby!!!!

OMG I am just a mushy hot mess at the moment.  All tears of joy and excitement.  Melissa’s mom held him then handed him off to me.  Guess everyone knew that the grandmas had first dibs.  I was sorry my ex and his wife were not there so that grandma Judy could hold him too.

This is the best gift ever of Christmas, this wonderful little boy!

As a typical grandma, I’m sharing the photos.  🙂

Collin Patrick at around 1 hour old.

Collin Patrick at around 1 hour old.

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Ryann and her new little brother, Collin

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Me and my grandchildren

Christmas Eve Morning Coffee Musings…

Coffee cup with steamI need to vent.

First, over night there was another drunk driving fatality.  Really, is it so difficult to call a cab? A friend? NOT GET DRUNK AND DRIVE???  It doesn’t just impact the family of the victim.  And by the way “victim” I use loosely as if you drove drunk and wrecked that is rather self imposed.  I prefer reckless fool to victim.  Word is out that he was in fact drunk, was verbally reported on the news.  There is a family that now for Christmas Eve morning is being told that someone isn’t going to be there to open his gifts this year.  But the impact doesn’t stop there.  Police officers and fire/rescue personnel will carry those images home with them today.  If you think it doesn’t bother them you are nuts.  And please don’t tell me that they should get a different job, it would eat at the heart and mind of the Grinch himself.  Then the lucky officer who had to go ring someone’s doorbell in the wee hours this morning to share the “good news” with the loved ones of the 24 year old deceased, he or she will carry that with them through the holiday as well, the shock, grief etc. of that family.  The only good is that he only took out himself.

Yesterday in the wee hours, a family headed to visit relatives for Christmas was forever changed when a drunk driver going the wrong way on the highway hit them head on. He is dead, his 7 year old is dead, and in the other vehicle the parents are dead and some of their children are in the hospital with life threatening injuries.  All dead, so many grieving, and all because someone was not responsible enough to get a designated driver.

Yes, I’ve been one of those drivers in my life, and thankfully never hurt myself or anyone else.  Things like this remind me that it just is NOT worth it.

On to better things.  Sorry just had to vent for a minute.

I am not ready for Christmas, I have a few things to finish up here today.  But despite being dead broke and no money, I’m happier than I have been in years.  I have my family, my health, and finished classes and got certified to work as a nurse aide.  I have the love of a bunch of awesome, quirky, slightly off balance and dysfunctional family and friends.

On Wednesday my 2nd grandchild will make his entrance into this world and the huge family (on his mommy and daddy’s sides) that already love that little man more than we can all begin to say.

In this year I’ve gained a daughter-in-law, a granddaughter, and before it ends a grandson.  So much love to go around, something money cannot buy to put under my tree.  Lives that make mine so full of joy and laughter.

Maybe that is why those stories make me so mad…I know how precious life is, and what a gift filled holiday this is simply because of who touches my life, and how I’d feel if one of those priceless treasures was torn from my world because of stupidity.