QUIET!!!! Simplify, Downsize, Restructure

iStock_000039816568SmallThree words that can cause sheer panic in the work force:

Simplify

Downsize

Restructure

But when it comes to social media?  THAT is another story.  It can cause a lot of strife when you remove folks from your feed, deleting them from Facebook and Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest.  I myself have had my feelings hurt when someone(s) remove me from following them before stopping to realize that they really had nothing of value to follow to begin with, and obviously felt I offered nothing.  Besides, who really needs the drama?  I deleted my own father off my Facebook more than once now because I simply could not stand another word of negativity.

Often times I follow, friend, etc., someone I think will add value to my life in someway, only to find out that most of what is there, while of value, simply is not relevant to my life at the present time.  It isn’t anything personal, it is simply that I just don’t have time to weed through things to get to the meatier items I’m seeking.   Or my feed is just too ‘noisy’ with things I cannot keep up with and so I start removing those things.

Hopefully folks won’t take it too personally if they suddenly discover they were eliminated from my feeds but I need to simplify my life a bit.  Between working, writing and more direct sales businesses than I can shake a stick at, I need to ease up on the flow of information I need to wade through each day.  I’d love to always reciprocate when someone follows me, but I just cannot do it.

It is time to clean off my followers, clean up my Pinterest boards, and simplify my social media addiction.  My sister-in-law is shutting down her Facebook entirely, and anymore I can understand that.  If it isn’t adding anything of value to her life, it’s gone.  While I’m not at that point yet, I totally support the effort.  I cleaned off Twitter and got down to following 125 people from over 200.  My goal is to get to 125 and no more than that.  I’m getting rid of the news and weather I follow, as it’s never any good news and the weather I can get by going to a site when I want to know.  It isn’t as if knowing what the weather will be is going to change anything and it’s just a bunch of digital clatter I don’t want in my life any longer.  My mind will be much healthier without it all.

I started the downsizing efforts Wednesday evening.  I was cleaning out my favorites/bookmarks in my phone and found myself on a former friend’s Twitter page.  I sent a request to follow, as it is private, before realizing that not only was I poking the bear, but it is most unlikely she would have anything of value to add to my feed at all.  Drama? More negativity?  No thanks.  I removed the request so hopefully she didn’t get herself in too big a snit over it.

My passion is my writing and my Avon business.  I dabble with the hobbies of Advocare, Jewelry In Candles, Charmed And Company Creations, Javita Coffee & SwissJust.  Mostly those get me a better price than if I weren’t a consultant/rep/distributor.  But the passion and love is truly with Avon.  Writing is therapy and a love I’ve always had since a child.  Those will have my utmost attention.

My faith will come first, above all else.  Then family, work, writing and hobbies.  My needle work (crocheting) will take a place when the weather is cooler.  I’m learning to calender block my time, down to washing my face, packing lunch for the next day, etc.  so that my time is better spent and I’m  more organized.

Delete, delete, delete some more.  It’s quieting down already!

Advertisements

Snow Day Coffee Musings

Coffee cup with steam“Snow is a great equalizer. It softens rough edges, hides ugly imperfections under its pristine cloak, quiets the harshness of sound. Traveling in it gives us all the same struggle (& a little sense of adventure) as we forge our way. That’s why I love the snow!” ~ Mary Herling Manifold

When I saw that this morning I loved it and asked Mary if I could quote her today in my blog post.  She is one of my many cousins on my dad’s side that I grew up with playing under grandma and grandpa’s dining room table while the adults sat around it telling stories we all remember well to this day.  Some very fond memories from that time.  I’m so thankful for Facebook as it has kept us all in touch when our family yahoo group turned in to a political soap box.

It is snowing this morning again, looks like we might have picked up another inch or  two.  Fresh covering over all of the foot prints and sled tracks on the hill in back, and the trees are all covered again.  So beautiful to sit in here and look at with my coffee in hand, Christmas trees all lit up and music playing.  I love working from home, I get so much more done this way.  Doesn’t hurt that I love my home!

Yesterday I made a decision that I have been pondering for several weeks.  In November of 2010, I had started another blog page for my faith, This Broken Angel – A Prodigal Daughter’s Return To Her Faith.  It isn’t that my faith isn’t woven into my life, or that I am in some way ashamed and want to hide it.  But not everyone believes as I do, or wants to read about that.  It can get kind of deep and The Musings Of Marvelous Martha is not faith focused, it’s about the crazy life I am living and not sure this makes any sense but the two are linked.  Sometimes I will reblog a post from there to this page but if you are at all interested you can skip on over there and follow it too.  Oops, hijacked myself.  The decision was if I was going to brush the dust off of that page and keep it, actually posting to it, or just let it go.  I decided that it will help me to stay focused daily on my walk so it is all cleaned up with a new look and I’m posting on it again.  Even bought the URL as when you invest money in something you tend to apply more effort.  🙂  And when you invest your time, you tend to put more time and effort into the task, it all feeds off itself and grows.

I just noticed I have 57 emails in my direct sales inbox for my 3 direct sales businesses.  I swear they mate and multiply over night sometimes.  Oh well no big deal. I will get to them later today.

You know what I love? This sounds nutty, but the smell of the carpets being cleaned!  Right now mine are being cleaned as I sit here.  If you are in the greater Cincinnati area, I recommend Blue Sky Carpet Cleaning.  They do residential and commercial and they rock!  6 rooms and a hallway for $99 right now.  You can’t beat that and who doesn’t want nice looking rugs for the holidays?  🙂  Not sure what the deodorizer is they use but it smells great.  With 3 cats and a dog, I may do this every 4-6 months.  They are a small, local business, 859-307-5690.  Support small, local businesses!!!

Hmm…my coffee cup is empty, time for a new pot of coffee.  And then back to work as soon as the carpet cleaners are finished. (I’m now standing at the kitchen counter with my laptop working and watching my carpets look AMAZING.  🙂

The Wisdom To Know The Difference

4fa9c207124314ea58629d35d3d7dc9aThe Serenity Prayer, commonly used by AA, and other programs, is one of my favorites.  It is also one I need to seriously learn to take to heart a bit more than I already do.  When it comes to accepting things I cannot change, well that is a tough one for me.  I have the need to fix things and make them right.  This can be both a wonderful gift and a huge curse.  Most of the time, it is a tremendous blessing.  Grudges for example, I don’t hold onto wrongs or even perceived wrongs for very long.  Forgiveness tends to come far too easily to me, but it keeps my heart from becoming bitter.

In keeping with the “courage to change the things I can”, one of the passages of the bible that always haunts me is Romans 12:1-18.  More than once I’ve posted then deleted something either on Facebook, Twitter or my blog, that was less than kind.  Especially in the months and even year or two after my divorce, I was deep in the crazy phase after that, emotionally and mentally shattered and raw. (by the way, if you are going through, have gone through, or know someone doing the divorce dance, this book, Crazy Time is a must read!)  I know that once words are out there, you really cannot take them back.  But I do try to make things right when possible.  It is a part of me that I’ve had to work very hard to change and I’ve made impressive strides.  However, I do have a long way to go, I know.  I won’t give up trying though, I know I need to pray and keep trying to right my wrongs.

When life is going well, and I am able to see so many blessings weaving my happiness, it is then that I feel I really should try to make amends for the wrongs I may have committed.  So, here in life things are amazing, and I’m happy. In turn, I decided to reach out and try to make amends.  A former friend popped up in my Facebook “you might know”, likely due to us having like 50+ mutual friends.  At first I joked that Facebook needs a serious reality check, as that person would rather give up their slut shoe collection than ever accept a friend request from me.  Funny thing, it has been so long now that I cannot even remember exactly what the issues were that caused the rift.  So, on a whim I went ahead and sent the request.  After all, she claims to be a Christian, posts stuff on her page about forgiving folks etc., so I figured maybe she really IS a changed person.  Maybe she really is a Christian.  This is about that time the “wisdom to know the difference” should have kicked in.  I got back a response about how I had posted something she assumed was about her a few weeks back, blah blah blah and essentially no, why would I want to be her friend.  Hmmm…so I did mention that whole thing about profession of faith, posts about forgiveness, but I guess that is selective??  I have offered in the past to sit down, face to face and put it all on the table, whatever it all is, but that was shot down.  This time, I’m blocked.  Too funny.  Maybe she missed that verse, Romans 12:18?  Or that whole section (12:1-18) in her bible studies?  Oh well it is off my head, I did in fact try, this isn’t the first time.  And all I can do is continue to pray for her.

It is funny to me that 2 days later she is on her page begging for attention with the baiting phrases of, “Seriously contemplating breaking one of my own golden rules“, “Just a nagging pain in my @$$ from the other night. I’m allowing someone to irritate me, and thinking about “airing my dirty laundry“, and “This is a resurfacer!!! Sadly, those who are on that “list” have a way of rearing their UGLY heads….I’m washing that dirt out of my thoughts!!!”  So much for that, she came back after her treadmill time with, “As for that individual, she is unhappy! For all of the blogs she posts, about how “marvi” her life is, truth is, she is not living the life she hoped to have. Thank you (name removed) for your valid insight. I’m very happy that woman is “praying” for me. All goes to show, therefore but, by the grace of God go I. I’m bless’d to have such loving friends, and apparently, foes as well. Life is very good!

I will give her that the life I am living is not the one I had hoped for, and thank God because this one?  It’s far better!  I’m not only NOT unhappy, I’m ecstatic!  As she never talks to me I’m not sure how she could think I’m anything BUT happy.  I’m a very open book, to a fault.  I post my life openly on many social media outlets and my blog, with nothing at all to hide.  When I’m not happy, I post that.  When angry, upset and/or bitter, I post(ed) that too.  Why would I not post, therefore, when I am happy?  I have a wonderful man, a great job, live in a really sweet house, I am loved by far more than not, I have 2 adorable grandchildren and just found out that I’m gaining a super guy as a son-in-law.

Having the chance to step back and evaluate me, my life, dreams, goals, desires, blessings and curses, I uncovered a lot about myself that was not pretty over the past 3 years up until this past May when I turned 50.  It wasn’t easy to face the woman in the mirror at times.  Don’t get me wrong, I sought the silver lining, the glass half full, and despite being in a great deal of emotional and mental anguish after my marriage ended, I clung to what was good in my life.  I knew that focusing on the good, positive and happy things would cultivate those very things all the more.  And it did.  I went through a purging of sorts, tossing out the things about me that needed to go, and filling up the closet of me with things that needed to be there.  And when I was ready, God brought a very special person into my life and flipped my world on end.  I’m back to getting butterflies in my stomach when I head home, knowing he is there waiting for me.  Exchanging texts throughout my day with someone who always sends me a good morning one before I head out to work (he is up and gone before me).  My life is full of laughter and  joy that I never imagined I’d know, joy such as exceeds anything I knew before or ever dreamed of having.  Again, she is correct, this is not the life I had hoped for, it is way better than what I had hoped for!

Now, mind you, I am not the “independent family specialist” she claims to be, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and tell you what I think.  I think it is she who is unhappy.  She cannot imagine going through what I did and coming out the other side a very happy person.  She is aging, and that scares her because she knows those younger, hotter women at the swinger club are going to be a bigger draw to the single men than she.  She’s always threatened by anyone who seems to have a happier life than her, is prettier, has a kinder heart than hers.  Sooner or later everyone who calls her a friend manages to get on her bad side and make her ‘list’.  She craves the attention so much so that she’d even make a post like the “contemplating breaking one of my own golden rules”, or as we’ve seen in the past, something eluding to someone having hurt her blah blah, until everyone says “Oh honey what’s wrong”.  Then of course, she ‘hates for friends to have to read this but….’, not understanding if she truly hated for anyone to read it, she’d never post it in the first place.

And yet, for some unknown reason, I still love the woman I called a friend.  But that is me, I always have had a huge soft spot for idiots, fools, the lost, the hurting and the underdogs/misfits.   I’d still welcome sitting down and putting all the cards on the table (well she’d have the cards as I have nothing against her), but she honestly isn’t a big enough person to do that.  So, instead I will just go on praying for her, and hoping one day she knows true happiness, from the top of her self proclaimed royal head to the tips of her painted toes.  Meanwhile, perhaps it is time to ‘know the difference’ between a situation that can be mended, and one that is hopelessly lost.

Last Chance To Do It For FREE!

On Sunday, 11/24/13, it will be the last chance to sign up for free to have your own Jewelry In Candles business.

I tell you this because I know how hard it can be to get a little extra pocket money, or to gather up the money you might need for Christmas.

Jewelry in Candles is a great company.  They just started in April of this year, and their business is BOOMING!  They increased 1000% in a month, which isn’t too shabby.  This comes from folks trying their great, 100% soy candles and finding them to be just that, super!  The scents are delicious and the jewelry is great.  Your piece (you pick a ring, necklace or earrings) is worth $10 to several thousand dollars.  Every ring I have so far is sterling silver and I LOVE them.  You also get to pick your ring size, which is another great feature.

Commissions (paid by direct deposit on the 15th and 30th of the month – giving you 2 “paydays” before Christmas!!!)  are 30% just off your store orders, and then 6% and 4% off downline members of your team.  For a start up company they have been surprisingly on top of things.  While orders being shipped have run a tad behind lately due to the massive increase in sales, they are quickly getting caught up.  Right now, if you sign up, until Sunday it is FREE.  Your website is free, there are no minimum sales requirements and you won’t need to purchase a kit (provided you do it before the end of Sunday).  But trust me you will want one.  At least the sample scents and your own candle.

My first purchase was a cinnamon candle and it smells SO good.  Then apple harvest candle and tarts.  Again outstanding scents.  I love them.  And now? The holiday scents have been released.  I’ve been very surprised how well my store is selling products as I get the word out.  I also hosted a Facebook online party one evening for 45 minutes making a nice bunch of sales and my hostess earned a free candle.  I will gladly do a party for you if you want to earn free candles! Contact me and we’ll set it up, it is simple and fast!

If you are not interested in owning/running your own direct sales business, perhaps you’d be interested in the candles themselves?  We also have the wax tarts for the tart warmers, and those come with the jewelry too!

If you are interested, I’d love to have you on my team!  Just go to MY CANDLE STORE and click “become a rep” next to my photo.  But do it before Sunday passes or you will have to purchase a kit in order to be a rep.  Or just shop now for Christmas!  What a great gift idea, 100% soy candles that have a piece of jewelry in them!  Long after the candle has gone the necklace, earrings or ring will be there to remind the recipient of your great gift!

Want to do a little “Black Friday” savings now?  Order by 12/1/13 to ensure delivery for Christmas!  When you are done shopping, at the check out, use this code to save 20% on your order:  SHOPWITHME

Here are some of the awesome holiday scents, and you can check out the others in my store!

Christmas-Wreath-450x450coffee-450x450Frankincense-Myrrh-450x450Mistletoe-450x450pecanpie_site-450x450winterpine-450x450

Meow It Forward!!!!

I just saw this on the Urgent Ohio Dogs Facebook Page this morning and wanted to share it.

While I feel that an outdoor “pet” is not a pet at all, but a neighborhood nuisance, I also get that some cold hearted folks will just set cats loose rather than do something humane like find a new forever home for them.  Cold weather is NOT a good thing for those outdoor felines, they are not made to withstand the cold.  And if you are like me and at maximum crazy cat lady capacity, or simply cannot take them in for some other reason, you might feel frustrated that you cannot help rescue every little 4 legged furry one out there.

We can still help!  Put out a shelter for them.  It will cost about $10 and just might save the life of a cat!

Here are the instructions direct from the Facebook page mentioned above:

INSTRUCTIONS- You will need the following:

1. Rubbermaid Container
2. Styrofoam Cooler
3. Straw
4. Utility Knife
5. Tape
6. Bowl
7. Marker or Pen
8. Hair Dryer

Stand the Rubbermaid box on one end…… take the bowl and trace a circle with your pen around the edges to form the “entrance” …… Use your hair dryer to “warm” the circle up (so it’s easier to cut) after 3-5 minutes of blowing hot air on the circle take your utility knife and carefully cut the circle out….. place a layer of straw/hay on the BOTTOM of the rubbermaid container… (if you do not have hay/straw tonight you can use newspaper, (crumpled up for extra insulation) and place a layer on the bottom——- then place the styrofoam container inside the rubbermaid container and using the hole on the rubbermaid container take your pen and trace a hole on styrofoam (then cut the hole out) once that is finished pack all sides (between rubbermaid container and styrofoam container with hay/straw and or an insulator… pack it tightly…. the more protection they have the better…. place hay/straw inside of stryofoam box also (enough for a bed— (fill it up about 35-40% (they need room to get in and snuggle) ….. Place Lid on styrofoam container and tape it shut- then place rubbermaid lid on…… I usually write on the lid “FERAL CAT PROJECT DO NOT REMOVE” (people tend to leave it alone if something is written on the top) if you do not have one or two of the things needed ——– improvise there are lots of things that would work and it doesn’t have to be perfect just warm.

1394422_743925102289285_921808753_n (1)

10 Ways To Fake It As A Domestic Diva

what NOT to wear!!!!

what NOT to wear!!!!

Domestic Diva I am not.  Nor a Domestic Goddess for that matter, but with enough good skin care products and quality cosmetics I can get in the running.  But when it comes to being domestic, I have to put up a good front.  If you are like me, you will never have your own TV show or magazine full of amazing crafts, home decor ideas, or even a recipe column in the local newspaper.  But you can pull off looking like you have a clue even if you aren’t the June Cleaver type.  The photo here is NOT what you are aiming for so if this is your domestic look, we have work to do!

1.  Just Bake Brownies

Brownies are the way to go if you know better than to attempt anything fancy for bake sales or the next scout troop meeting.  Hit the baking aisle at the store and pick up a box of nice, fudge brownies.  For those serious non-domestic types, like me, don’t forget to buy a pan for baking them.  Seems that helps, but who knew?  Get the non-stick variety, I use a 9×9, and even if it says non-stick I still spray the bottom with cooking spray.  No, not the big, well known brand named after some chick, I use the bargain brand with the store name on it because it works just as good.  Set a timer, it helps if you don’t burn them. Once cooled, you can stand out like a serious home-room mom by icing them and using M&Ms, mini peanut butter cups, or crushed nuts to decorate the top.

Everyone loves brownies and you just scored big with the kiddos.  I stick plain old brownies in the bowl and top ice cream and it’s dessert fit for a king.

2.  Pinterest

Seriously I have found some of the best, easiest recipes ever on Pinterest.  Just this morning I totally wow’d the Jr. Prince and Jr. Princess with breakfast that I found there.  A soft taco shell, spread with peanut butter, drizzled with honey and a banana rolled up inside.  They think this is the most wonderful breakfast burrito ever.  Use chocolate and skip the honey and you have a snack burrito that is healthy.  I have a number of yummy dinners I found on there that are delicious and simple.  Get a Pinterest account and use it.

3.  Multi-task the laundry

Yes..whenever there is a full load of any kind, put it in the washer!  I do laundry when getting ready for work some days, or while cooking dinner.  If there is a full load it gets washed now.  I fold it as soon as the dryer is done and put it away immediately.  This keeps me ahead of the game and not having a ‘laundry day’ means no one has to search for clean underwear or turn a pair inside out and wear them a second day.  And when your hamper isn’t full it makes you look like you are on top of the game.  Gone are the days of assigning a particular day to do anything, just get it done while other things are getting done.  A true domestic diva always has clean dish towels in her kitchen.  Don’t believe the wench, she is doing this too, she does not have a particular laundry day!

4.  Dust on the go!

Seriously is there anything more annoying than how fast dust accumulates?  And that alone makes a house appear dirty.  I do not set a specific time for that either.  On the way to the hamper with the dish towels etc, I grab an old washcloth out of the drawer and dust the wood work on the way up and down the steps.  I know, it’s brilliant!  Headed to open the blinds in a room, take that dust rag (come on, it isn’t a cloth, and it’s an old rag and let’s just call it what it is) and hit everything you pass.  Keeps your home looking freshly dusted.  Heck use the t-shirt your honey or son took off and left on the floor to do that particular room before landing it in the hamper.  Concern yourself NOT with the germs you may leave behind, no one is going to lick the top of the dresser or night stand!

5.  Use those commercials!

We all have our favorite shows we cannot miss.  Next time you are getting ready to sit down to your favorite show, invite the vacuum cleaner to the party, and a laundry basket.  During the commercials load that basket with whatever is laying around that doesn’t belong there, and run the vacuum.  ONLY during the commercials though.  Once things are swept and the basket is loaded, next commercial race the break in programming to get those items put in their proper place!  Think of it is as a mini, on the go workout as your fly through the house.  By the time the favorite show is done you’ve cleaned that room.  Bravo! No one will ever know you didn’t spend all day cleaning.

6.  You too can be a professional Dumpster Diver!

Seriously, do not go spend a bundle on furnishings when your neighbors are tossing perfectly good stuff.  Just remember, if you are swiping things from too close to home you might want to do it after dark.  Drive around on trash night to other neighborhoods and look for things that can be upcycled.  That means reused in better ways.  But first, have a vision.  Back to Pinterest sisters!  Search for cute rooms and print pictures.  NOW you are ready.  Hit the streets and look for things, or go to garage sales, the fodder there is amazing.  If all else fails the local thrift/goodwill store works too.  I know a woman who decorated her entire home in a Mexican theme from going to garage and resale shops.  It was beautiful and cost her so little to achieve a home Martha Stewart would be proud of!  Paint the room, that is the most expensive part.  Then get those items you find and add as you buy.  In no time you have redecorated on a tiny budget but it looks fantastic.  Carpets need replacing? Find area rugs that work with your theme or design.  Remember, there are groups online, on Facebook, where folks are swapping, selling cheap or free-cycling (giving to a good home), find those.  If the piece is a bit rough on the finish, put a nice lace napkin on top on an angle and dollar store vase and it looks great!  If that nosy neighbor up the street notices the table in the front hall looks so much like one she tossed, say you got it at an upscale antique store and just couldn’t pass it up as it is all the latest trend in decorating magazines.  She’ll be jealous. Never admit the truth.

7.  Get a ‘look’!

We all have days when we over sleep, or time gets away from us, or we are just to lazy to rise and shine.  On those days have a go-too look so you appear all put together and amazing.  I do this for work, because frankly they don’t need me to look like a goddess, but I cannot scare off vendors or delivery folks either.  Start with a simple, easy to achieve style.  If you have long hair you are fortunate that you can pull it back, twist it up, braid and go.  If you don’t have long hair, go short, with a cute style that is meant to look a tad messy.  I go for short myself, it drys fast, and a splot of hair paste to work it quickly into a spiky, soccer mom doo and hair is done.  Makeup is simple, always moisturize, then go for mineral powder! It looks awesome and brushes on fast.  Use your blush brush to apply eyes and cheeks quickly (I will do a video on this soon),  top it with a bit of mascara and you look fresh and awesome.  Who cares if it only took 5 minutes?  If you don’t have time to do your hair, get a sporty looking baseball hat and stylish but cheap sunglasses.  As long as it looks like this is your hat and not your son’s, it appears an intentional fashion choice.

8.  Fake nails

Who the heck has time to paint their nails these days unless they sit home while their hubby works 2 jobs to keep food on the table and the house out of foreclosure?  Seriously, go spend the money on fake nails.  Most of these cute little places will do a set for under $30 and fill them for less than $20.  It’s worth it, go every 3 weeks.  If you put nothing else for YOU in the budget, do nails.  Skip color it will chip and you look crappy again, so just nice, French Manicure.   They look clean, classy and gives you the ‘look’ of a woman with her act together.  Remember this is all about fake it til you make it.  Sell your plasma if you have too but get those nails!  Oh and then don’t forget to be careful when cleaning, use gloves etc.  I prefer gel nails as they stay looking amazing between fills.

9.  Home Made

Just because Aunt Bea had time to make cookies doesn’t mean we do.  All these cool appliances in our kitchens have not made life any simpler.  Screw the home made dough, you don’t have the time and the pre-made has the same stuff in it that you would be dumping in the mixing bowl.  Grab a few rolls and hide them behind something healthy in the fridge so no one sees them.  Then, when no one is near, set the stage.  Get out the mixing bowl and spoon, leave on the counter with a dish towel and turn on the faucet so the sink looks used.  Now it appears you just washed those, by hand even. You go girl!  Now get out that dough and get a tray of cookies in the oven baking.  If anyone is heard approaching you quickly grab the towel and dry off the mixing bowl.  They are in awe of you having quickly whipped up those cookies.  The house smells awesome and there are fresh baked goodies for the kids to munch on.  You just scored big and didn’t have to bust your butt, Nestle or Pillsbury did it for you.  If it smells home made, it is. After all you made them at home, right?  Do this when their friends are over so they go home bragging that “Tommy’s mom made us fresh baked cookies for a snack” and you are now the envy of the neighborhood.

10.  Cute Clothes

You just need one or two super adorable outfits.  Jeans a nice hoodie for cooler weather, or a cute shirt for warmer weather.  One pair of never wear them unless you need too look like a million tennis shoes or sandals and you are set.  Keep those for only trips to the store or to pick up the kids from sport practice.  Or maybe to be home room mom or anywhere you know you will be bumping into those real domestic freaks.  Then you look like you too have it together.  Go on, brag about busting your butt all day to make dinner, fresh baked cookies etc, and all while you actually work outside the home.  Everyone thinks  you are the bomb and no one knows you are cutting corners.

The Not-So-Domestic Goddess

June Cleaver I am not.

June cookingI don’t wear dresses unless I have too.  Like my son’s wedding for example.  The mother-of-the-groom cannot show up in jeans unless it is an outdoor, country western, or hippie style affair.  Had it been a peace, love and tie-dyed shirt style I would have opted for a moo-moo so I had more room to expand with the cake, food and of course beer. But as that was not the case I found appropriate attire.  Heck for my wedding I wore a sarong as I wasn’t up for that whole white dress and $$$ production.

I also don’t wear pearls.  Not my stone, not my style.

June cleaverAnd high heels, while I do indeed like them, you won’t see them on me in jeans.  Most of the ones I have are not jean worthy, and likely look better if I’m not wearing…never mind this is a PG rated blog site.  The supermarkets of today aren’t geared toward walking all of those aisles in heels.   No wonder our grandmothers ended up using canes and walkers, not to mention wearing support hose.

Now, I would not in a million years pair any of those with a vacuum cleaner, dust clothes or when cooking.  Can you imagine cleaning the bathroom dressed like that?  And either old Ward didn’t have the money to hire a maid like the Brady Bunch or you just didn’t do that in those days.  Carol Brady could pull off those some what tighter dresses than June wore, because the reality is though she didn’t have a job outside of the home, Alice did it all.  Carol just stood around snapping green beans and yelling for kids or Mike when necessary.Brad3

Give me my jeans and a t-shirt and some gym shoes for just about anything and everything domestic.  Heck it’s what I wear to work, though that shirt does have a collar.

When it comes to being a domestic diva, I will vacuum, do dishes, cook, grocery shop, do laundry, dust and even do windows.  I will NOT clean the bathroom.  The Knight does it graciously and that is okay with me.  If he didn’t, we’d be hiring a maid service.  Any other room of the house, the litter box, and scooping puppy poop from the yard is just fine, but I don’t clean the bathroom. EVER.

abc_brady_hair_8_jef_ss_120914_sshI also don’t roll out of bed looking like a million bucks.  Award winning bed head that I spend the entire night working on, morning breath, and sometimes even sporting yesterday’s makeup (GASP!).  No frilly, family friendly nighties like those TV home makers, this chick wears lounge pants and jammie shirts.  Nick and Nora brand from Target is my favorite.  Sock Monkeys, Hello Kitty, or kittens and mittens.  And I’ll bet June and Carol don’t snore either.  I’ve got it down to a serious art.  The Knight tells me it sounded like a cat the other night, and not one purring softly.  Meowing it would seem and I am guessing he was just being kind, more like 2 alley cats fighting it out, to the death.

The only reason I remember the grocery list is thanks to modern technology.  It’s on my phone, in a folder I call my mobile office, on a list in Evernote.  Any special coupons are downloaded to my shopper card from the store’s online site.  I make a menu on my calendar now, which has saved me $100 a trip as I don’t spend a bunch of money I don’t need too anymore from shopping off the top of my head.  And I buy value/generic and store brand, saving a ton of money too.

No talking over the back fence with my coffee cup, for me it’s Facebook and texting.  And when I need a gal-pal break, it’s a trip by the Diva Den, or dinner/meetings with my direct sales sisters (the Minions).

I don’t darn his socks, but I’ll gladly make my man a good meal and watch football with him.

And he loves me, as I am, undomestic and a few rungs down from a goddess.  Just a fun fairy, restock fairy, and all around good time.

How Do You Define Beauty?

547Some time back I saw a thought question, “What does beautiful look like in the dark?” and really contemplated that one.  I eventually included it as part of my dating profile on dating sites, stating that if you didn’t know what beauty looked like in the dark, you weren’t for me.  Not because I thought of myself as unattractive, I know I’m not an unattractive person.  I’ve turned my share of heads over the years, without having to dress in clothes that look like I borrowed them from my daughter.  At 50 I still turn a few heads, not as many as before in my younger days, but then it isn’t all that important.  All I have ever wanted was to be able to turn one head, and keep it turned, my direction forever.  Sure physical attraction is important, but I wanted that head to turn for ALL of me, the entire package.  Not my face, figure etc, but for my mind, my heart, my dreams and desires, my laughter and my tears.

For the past several years I thought that wasn’t possible to find, someone who found me beautiful in the dark.  I’m not talking about physical intimacy, heck I have no issues leaving the lights on for that, I am what I am.  I wanted to find that person who found me beautiful in those areas that are not ‘visible’ to the human eye.

Wouldn’t it be a very interesting world if we were all blind and could only ‘see’ people for who they really are?  Not their vessel, skin color, the hair, makeup or lack of it, a few extra pounds, wrinkles, warts whatever.  But all we would be able to see was their inner person, the heart and soul of the man or woman.

I worked for a few days in a nursing home, while getting my CNA certification.  Age is a real beast to the physical body.  Some folks will be blessed to age well as far as physical appearance, but let me tell you many do not.  Some are almost ‘disgusting’ to look upon, making it difficult to look past the outside and into the heart.  And what of those severely burned, or maimed by accident or war?  Hard to get past the sometimes horrifying exteriors.  Yet that person on the inside is still the same one that at one time maybe we’ d have called sexy or hot.  How many have we all passed by barely looking at, that could have enriched our lives if we had seen past their looks?

There are so many beautiful, interesting, wonderful people in this world who go unseen by us all because they aren’t one of the pretty people.  Sadly, many of the pretty people are down right ugly as sin in the dark, their hearts and souls are rotted to the core.  Selfish, mean spirited and ‘me’ oriented, all they have is their outside shell and one day that will have been nipped and tucked to the limits and they’ll lose that physical beauty and have nothing left.

424928_375886175759726_181805898501089_1684276_1686805568_nI did find someone who finds me attractive on all levels, which blows me away.  He finds my heart, mind and soul to be a huge turn on, in addition to finding me physically attractive.  In the dark, I think it is safe to say, he probably finds me even more beautiful than I could ever be in the light because he loves who I am, not what I look like.

A friend on Facebook posted this video today which brought this blog topic about beauty in the dark back to mind.  How tragic to realize how many persons of value one has missed knowing because they didn’t measure up to a physical standard.  I teared up watching Dustin Hoffman sharing this, because there was a time I was that person others wouldn’t have even given the time of day.  The “ugly duckling”.  And I’d not trade that for the world because those times are what made me drop dead gorgeous in the dark.

What do you look like in the dark, stripped of your exterior?

Friday Confessional

It’s FRIDAY!
And ya’ll know what that means?
Time to hit the confessional and let  it all fly.

Link up with Aubrey by clicking her badge above.

I confess…

I slept around the clock last night.  We were in bed  and sleeping at 9:00, the Knight had to be up early to work.  I surfaced briefly to use the bathroom around 6:30am, long after he had left for work.  When I climbed back in bed I thought I would re-exam the inside of my eyelids for just a few moments, checking for leaks ya see.  I woke up at 9:05am.  Guessing I was tired.  I don’t feel the least bit bad about that either.

I confess…

I ran out of creativity for dinner tonight.  When it came time to make it, I didn’t do like last weekend and pull great ideas from Pinterest (yes I made things last weekend I had pinned on my food board and yes it was very good).  I went for simple, burgers, mac-n-cheese, and veggies.  I didn’t even make the brownies, just went with the stand by candy bars in fun size for dessert.

I confess…

Seriously hoping the item I bought from Arbonne to assist with menopause helps because the hot flashes are killing me.

I confess…

Best thing I have done for myself of late is stopped playing games on Facebook.  I am starting to really see how much time I was wasting.

I confess…

A cup of coffee sounds SO good right now, even through it is after 8pm.  Caffeine doesn’t bother me, I am just ADD enough that it will not impact my ability to sleep.  And it will give me something to do while I read my books.  Well after I empty the dishwasher that is, but I can do that while the coffee is brewing.

T.G.I.F.

Have a marvelous weekend ya’ll.

Friday Confessional

YAY!!!!! Friday at last! WOOHOOO and that means it is time to let it all hang out and confess.  Link up with Aubrey and get it all off your chest, and read up on what others are sharing.

I confess…

Poor HoneyBabyMine had to work a LONG day (18+ hours) yesterday.  I missed him a bunch when I came home and he wasn’t here.  I tried hard to stay awake til he got home but finally just couldn’t do it anymore, gave in to sleep and crashed.

I confess…

He can wake me up like he did last night, any old time he would like! And that is all I’m going to say about that.

I confess…

I might have given him a hard time about snagging my Monster in the fridge when he left this morning.  But in my defense, he rarely passes up an opportunity to tease me about things.  No worries, it’s all in fun and he has me laughing frequently, but I wasn’t letting this go without a jab about not feeling the love when I saw it gone.  🙂

I confess…

He looked so adorable taking a nap when I came out of the bathroom, with the yorkie and one of the cats curled up with him on the bed.  I considered a picture to post on Facebook but was able to control myself.

I confess…

I am SO happy right now.  Life is just full of so much goodness and so many blessings, much of which is because he is a part of my life.

I confess…

I am going to sneak out of here and do the grocery shopping while he is napping so it is done and out of the way so we can kick back and enjoy his kids tonight.  Hopefully I can pull this off without waking him up, he needs the sleep!