Monday Memos

Monday MemosDear Self,

It has occurred to me, as I was lying awake the other night listening to one Diva snoring, then the other answering her, also snoring, that we may have misjudged the neighbor we affectionately have dubbed “Schleprock”.  Perhaps it isn’t that his shutters are not properly installed, as we laugh at them randomly falling off his house.  It may not be the fault of his skills that caused the most recent one to detach from his home, cascading to the ground, taking some of his siding with it.  It COULD be that with 3 of us snoring so hard, we’re sucking the shutters right off of his home.  Lord knows we’re peeling paint from various neighbors!  I dare say if we were all sick with a cold and snoring we might start pulling cars from garages on our street.  It might be time for breathing strips?

Regards,
The Diva Who Is Also The Restock Fairy

 

Dear Printer,

You suck.  There was a time not so long ago when you and the laptop were best of friends.  All things sent would print as if by magic, remotely or through the USB.  But for some reason you are now acting like a spoiled child and won’t play nice in the sandbox with the laptop.  I dislike you for this, very much.  When I tried to print the workbook for my class  you behaved badly and just stopped communicating at all.  Fine, screw you, the Kinko office is nearby and they were very happy to print the workbook for my class next week.  Keep it up and I’ll just go there and write off all expenses.  Take that lazer brains!

Humph!
Not feeling so Marvelous

 

Dear Self,

Stick to your diet guns!  138 days until we depart with The Badge for Sarasota to house hunt.  You want to be sporting that bikini body when you arrive. You are doing great, keep up the good work!  Though you MIGHT want to consider cutting the 30 Day Squat Challenge numbers in half the first round or you may never walk again.

Sincerely,
You Are Out Of Shape Sister!

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Wine & Cheese ~ 88th Serving

wineandcheese2Welcome to Wine & Cheese, my weekly, Wednesday whine session.

Every week on Wednesday I devote a blog to whining. Despite being a really happy, positive person, I do have things that annoy me at times. I never let anything grate on my nerves for long but thought it would be fun to vent them periodically in my blogs. I also feel that good things, the cheese in life, should be acknowledged as well. I’m even going to throw in a bit of dessert, a piece of virtual chocolate, something that made me laugh or smile just a bit more than normal. If you’d like to read the past editions of Wine & Cheese just click HERE for all of the past postings. Sit back and join me now for the 88th serving of some whine and cheese!

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 WINE WHINE

😦  My legs and backside are killing me!!!  Way too much walking this week so far, and not on flat ground.  I was up and down streets, steps, driveways…all while dragging my old lady style grocery cart behind me full of Avon brochures. OUCH!

😦  The weather has been a reminder that winter is coming.  Autumn temperatures that make for the need to wear long sleeves or a light jacket have taken over.  I’m not happy about it at all.  No leaves really changing color much yet, though plenty are falling already to help reinforce the fact that summer is over. UGH

😦  Still waiting on my unemployment to finish processing.  Until my Avon business gets going I need the money.  Hurry up and…wait.

CHEESE

🙂  Yes the legs are screaming at me but the scale moved down again!  I know that ache only means that things will tone up and the scale will keep moving on downward and that is a very good thing.

🙂  While I do miss my pup going with me, I have to say I move so much faster without her along for the stroll.  I will just have to walk her each day to make up for it.

🙂  I love my Kindle Unlimited subscription.  I had a bunch of books on my Amazon wish list that I realized were on the Unlimited!!!! SO now I get to read them for free and then ‘return’ them when finished and not spend anymore money.  OH life is so good!

🙂  Tonight I am enjoying the Soundscapes music channel and burning the Cucumber & Mint candle from Jewelry In Candles.  It is so relaxing!

DESSERT

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Unlocking The Mental Gates: My Dog Pooped At Work

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAToday’s Writing 101 assignment is to just unlock my mind and let it flow for 20 minutes.

Unlocking this brain and letting things just pour out is one rather scary proposition.  You just never know what it is that I might say.  Pardon the typos, if any, as I’m not supposed to worry about that, just hit the keys and let it all hang out.

Recently I found myself out of a job and decided that I would embrace my ‘hobby’ and make it a full time job.  Many a brave man and woman have gone before me and turned their hobby of selling Avon into a full time job, and hence they make 6 figure incomes.  At one time I would have thought this was crazy but I actually KNOW some of them and they are not anything out of the ordinary.  Just regular Joe and Jane types but they are making way more money at this than I was making in an office behind a desk in a very cool, pink office.  Hey, it’s my favorite color and the boss let me have whatever color made me happy so it was BRIGHT pink.  With black furniture and a zebra striped lamp.  Sadly that came to an end recently and now my office is…well wherever I happen to feel like camping around the house.

There really is an Avon office in the Diva Den but I don’t feel like running from the lowest level of this 2500 square foot quad to the printer, located far away from there so I land myself at the kitchen table close to the coffee maker.  This is only my second week at this but I’m rather enjoying it even if it is hard work.  Today was no exception.

I loaded up my car with brochures in their hanger bags, put my old lady style grocer cart in the back seat (you know those kind that old ladies pull to and from the market when they walk? Yep one of those), loaded the dog in the car and headed out.  I figured taking the pup along would kill two birds with one stone, walk her and get my brochures out in one amazing act!  The dog is a very protective, 11 year old Yorkie named Penny.  If you know my dog, and the way my crazy life goes, then it should be writing on the wall.  But it wasn’t because sometimes I just don’t think things through like I should.  I would blame this on the blonde hair but currently I am sporting the artificial intelligence of auburn locks and have to at least act like I have it together.  Don’t be fooled. 😉

Running shoes for support as I walked the streets, jeans, a bright pink Avon shirt, sun glasses, my cart loaded with a big box of brochures, and my dog attached to the cart by her leash, I headed down the first street.  At each driveway I pulled out a brochure and headed to the front door to hang it on the door handle while Penny, who is attached to the cart, barks her fool head off.  This is not acceptable at 9:30am.  Heck who am I kidding this is simply unacceptable any time!  But maybe, I’m thinking, she will calm herself down as she catches on that she is guarding the cart for mama while I hike up steps, steep driveways, around stray cats and sprinklers, and dodge discarded skate boards.  About every other house we passed Penny felt the need to stop and send pee-mail which was slowing me down even more than tripping over her as she tried to hurry things along in our walk.

And then, while we are working our business of distributing brochures, she stops and drops a poop bomb.  I am a responsible dog owner so of course I am armed with little bags for picking up her downloads, but after this begins to repeat itself, and the barking is going on every 30 feet, mama has reached the end of her patience.  Oh and of course the lawns are covered in dew so my little dog is now soaking wet, barking, pee-mailing like it’s her job, and pooping every few houses.  My patience hit its limits.  Turning around I headed back to my car after only 25 houses, loaded up the sopping wet pooch, box, cart and headed home.  She got left behind in the house and I picked a new neighborhood to canvas for another 150 homes.  Hey, I have some pride, I’ll go back to the other one in 2 weeks and by then maybe some other crazy looking red head will have caught their fancy and they will forget about the freak with the hyperactive, turbo-crapping Yorkie.

All told I put out 175 brochures today, wrote a newsletter with some customer specials I’m offering, encouraged my team via text, booked a vendor show, made up some sample packed brochures for folks I actually will speak too, and watched an educational video.  I’m sore from all that hiking (there needs to be a law about hilly neighborhoods and steep driveways and lots of steps to climb), but I figure the exercise is just a serious fringe benefit to my job.

Now?  Time for a cold beer and a good book, my jammies and a scented candle.

For the next few weeks most days will be a 2-fer of blog posts as I’m taking part in a blogging 101 and a writing 101 course.  Double the fun!