The Plague Has Arrived

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My daughter’s first find of the cicada infestation.

 

For whatever reason, the 17 year cicadas that hit our area have decided to grace us with their noisy presence 4 years early this time. I don’t pretend to have any scientific knowledge as to the why, and not certain the scientist/professor at Mt. St. Joe college nearby does either. He studies them and asks if you are in the greater Cincinnati area, that you email photos and locations to him at cicada@msj.edu to help him in his study.

Being that this is Cincinnati, it isn’t a real shock that this is going on, after all we’ve been known to have the heat on in the morning and the air conditioning on in the late day. One week, in January, we had snow, then warmth, thunderstorms and tornadoes, then back to snow. Yes, in a one week period. We do weird here very well.

While incredibly creepy looking, they are harmless. They do not bite and pretty much all they do is provide a great deal of deafening noise with their little mating calls, and food for birds. It does freak one out if hit in the head as they fly past, and they seem to really lack navigational skills because you will frequently be dive bombed. And they are EVERYWHERE in the areas they emerge.

As a child, I was deathly afraid of them, but my brothers found them rather fun to play with, pulling off wings before squashing them. As an adult I was known to learn who was afraid, then catch them and put them in their office while they were at lunch. The unsuspecting victim always assumed it came in on their clothing. As a child of 4 years old, my son and his buddy across the hall in our apartment building would catch them and feed them to his friend’s piranhas. This was a source of endless amusement to them both.

Catching them is very simple, just pinch their wings together and pick them up. But be prepared as they will try to fly free, causing a strong vibration in your fingers and if you aren’t anticipating it you will let go on impulse.

My yorkie, Penny, when she was alive for one infestation, used to try to sneak them into the house to play with, but her mouth was so small we’d see the little legs wiggling out the sides. I admit, I look forward to letting one in the house to see how the cats deal with it, supervised of course.

Some folks in these parts actually eat them! Cooked, chocolate covered, even raw. BLAH! No thank-you I believe I will pass on that, um, delicacy.

So, as they are beginning to emerge, it will only get way worse before it gets better!

 

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Wine & Cheese – 9th Serving

Carlos Porto / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Every week for Wine & Cheese Wednesday I have decided to devote a blog to whining.  Despite being a really happy, positive person, I do have things that annoy me at times.  I never let anything grate on my nerves for long but thought it would be fun to vent them periodically in my blogs.

I also feel that good things, the cheese in life, should be acknowledged as well.

I’m even going to throw in a bit of dessert, a piece of virtual chocolate, something that made me laugh or smile  just a bit more than normal.

Wine – 9th Glass


Illiterate Drivers

I have a bone to pick with all the lead foot drivers out there, and that likely means many of my readers.  I apologize now if this offends you but at the same time, tough!  I too  have a problem with speed limits…as in I do not always follow them that closely.  You can count on me for 5 to 10 mph over the limit, not usually on purpose just not really paying close attention.  That and most cops I have talked to off the record tell me that they won’t usually ticket those types.  However, IF I come up on a driver that is doing the speed  limit I will not ride their bumper, beep, drive by and flip them off.  THEY are following the law, it is that simple, they can READ the speed limit sign.  Sometimes it is me who you are swearing at, only to find out seconds later that I was aware of the cop doing radar and that is why I am not exceeding the limit.  HA HA HA!  Before you get all worked up, think, maybe there is a reason I am actually going 25 in the 25 mph zone!  Or maybe you are on my niece’s bumper, unaware she is a brand new driver and is trying to follow the rules, something you bitch about any other time, teens failing to follow the rules.  So off her tail, cut her some slack!  If you break the law,  deal with the consequences, and guess what, cops  are supposed to ticket folks that speed, it is their job, so get off their asses if they nail you for speeding.  If someone was speeding and hit your kid you would have a fit cause “where the hell are the cops when you need one, why aren’t they doing something about this speeding problem” but if it is YOU caught going too fast, they should have better things to do like chase ‘real’ criminals.  You can’t have it both ways you big cry baby.  Don’t speed =NO ticket. It isn’t rock science, stop going on radio talk shows complaining!

And when you do encounter someone actually doing the speed  limit,  get off their ass! Don’t beep your horn and flip them off, further proving what a horses behind you are, it may be a new driver!  One of the main reasons teens have accidents is lack of experience and the last thing they need is some jackass pushing them to go faster.  It is called a speed LIMIT.  For those that don’t know what that word means here is a refresher:

From the dictionary:

LIMIT –noun

1.

the final, utmost, or furthest boundary or point as to extent, amount, continuance, procedure, etc.: the limit of his experience; the limit of vision.

2.

a boundary or bound, as of a country, area, or district.
Get it? GOOD now back  off!

Sex Crazed Noise Makers

Cicadas…gotta love ’em!  Not only the 17 year brood that invades this area in millions, but the others that come out on the in between years that sound like chainsaws gone wild.  Most days I do not mind them, in fact I am the evil bitch that catches them and puts them in places to scare the crap out of those women that hate them.  But some days the noise is just unreal, as they are the loudest known member of the insect world.  Must have been a bunch of horny males the other night, the noise they were putting off was SO loud in trees by our deck that it actually hurt the ears.  Some can reach over 100 decibels when singing their little mating song, talk about desperate for a hook-up!  Look ya little sex maniacs, cool your chirpers a bit! We get that you are wanting a booty call, but we really are growing weary of all the love songs in the leaves.  Damn little winged horn-dogs!

Such A NICE Boy!!

Arvind Balaraman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I swear I should stop watching the news altogether.  Some dirt bag gets arrested for a crime, like a drug deal gone bad, drive by shooting,  terrorizes his elderly neighbors, or destroys grave markers that are hundreds of years old in a cemetery for ‘fun’.  Then some family member, usually his mama, or a neighbor gets on TV for an interview with a local reporter and says “Oh I just don’t understand this he was such a nice boy.”  Are you kidding me???  NICE boys don’t destroy other people’s property, nice boys do not harass their elders, and nice boys do not have a criminal record that reads more like a resume for a gang member.  Come on mom and aunt Suzy, you raised this piece of crap, you know he has spent more time in jail in his short life than he has in school, and you think he is a nice kid?  This is not a nice person, this is a career jail bird that I am, as a tax payer, footing the bill for his room and board at the grey bar inn known as the county jail or state prison.  He is not nice, he is a loser and if he ends up dead in a ditch somewhere pardon me but I won’t feel bad that it is one less jackass I have to help pay for because somehow everyone thinks society failed HIM instead of accepting HE failed society!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

CHEESE

Just Because

Nothing like being in the line for the drive-thru to pick up something for lunch, you’ve hunted and found every last nickel in the car, purse and desk drawer so you can get a combo meal.  You pull up to the window to pay and find out the car in front of you, in a random act of kindness, payed for their order AND yours just because.  A total stranger bought your lunch.  THANK YOU to all those that do this sort of thing for some unsuspecting stranger, don’t forget to pay it forward and do it for someone else the next time you are able!

Prince In The Making

Arms loaded with your purchase, you head for the door juggling your bags.  You spot a short little figure running toward the door.  He dashes in front and pushes the store’s door open and holds it, grinning from ear to ear.  Thanks you little Prince Charming in the making, someone is teaching you to be a gentleman, of which the world is far short in its inventory!  You rock, little man!

Rain Man

You don’t know me from Adam, but you’ve seen me day in and day out, entering and leaving the same office building as you.  Don’t know if you took note of the company polo shirt I wear, or if you are in the same hallway as my office, but somehow you know that car out there with the sun roof open and windows an inch down is mine.  I cannot see the window where I sit, but you notice the rain coming and my open car when you go to close your own, so you stopped by my office to pass the warning to me.  You are my hero today, Rain Man, for saving me from riding home tonight with a wet fanny!

DESSERT

Puddle:  what you’re bound to be standing next to when life passes you by.
~ Seen on http://www.twitter.com/Daffynitions