Wine & Cheese ~ 71st Serving

wine n cheeseWelcome to Wine & Cheese, my weekly, Wednesday whine session.

Every week on Wednesday I devote a blog to whining. Despite being a really happy, positive person, I do have things that annoy me at times.

I never let anything grate on my nerves for long but thought it would be fun to vent them periodically in my blogs.

I also feel that good things, the cheese in life, should be acknowledged as well.

I’m even going to throw in a bit of dessert, a piece of virtual chocolate, something that made me laugh or smile just a bit more than normal.

If you’d like to read the past editions of Wine & Cheese just click HERE for all of the past postings.

Sit back and join me now for the 71st serving of some wine and cheese!

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😦  I really have only one whine today.  Yep just one, singular complaint.  I wish people driving around would come to realize that sunglasses are not a fashion accessory.  Sure, you can buy some really dazzling pairs and match them to your outfit, shoes or even your underpants.  But they are a NECESSITY when driving into the sunrise in the morning.  Because if you don’t have them on, you hit the brakes because you cannot see.  This causes the dreadful chain reaction of others hitting their brakes to avoid hitting you.  In some cases they are in the next lane and hit their brakes because they fear you might change lanes.  The guy driving in the lane next to that person and one or two cars back sees the brake lights and panics and hits his, unaware of why you two are braking but not wanting to be involved in whatever unseen danger is lurking feels he should join the little brake-light-engaged party.  Behind these folks others are forced to now brake and within seconds ya’ll have managed to bring hundreds and even thousands of cars on a major highway to a halt!

You sick, cheap-ass over achievers in stupidity need to exit the highway and go to any local gas station/stop-n-rob and buy some sunglasses.  Priced to move from $5-$55 you can get yourself some eye protection and get back on the road and join the ranks of those of us with brains who prepare for that big, bright orange ball in the sky each morning.

Meanwhile, I think the ‘high speed’, passing, far left lane should be reserved for those folks sporting protective eye-wear.  Those of us smart enough to actually be prepared for the morning blinded by the light arrival of sunshine should be rewarded for our choice to be ready for this event so WE can at least be moving!

Doesn’t matter if your choice of sunglasses makes you look like a super model, Lindsay Lohan after a serious bender, or those ‘birth control’ versions that will ensure you are unlikely to get laid anytime soon, just WEAR THEM!


🙂  I am in SUCH a great mood!  Mostly because I have opted to be.  My entire morning routine was messed up and out of sync and I just didn’t care.  I ROLLED with it!  I have no foundation on because I forgot to use it! WHO CARES! no one here warrants my concerns about how my face looks.  Music played in my head and I danced as I put on my face and then sang to the CD in my car all the way to work.  Off key and sounding like a buffalo caught in a trap I belted out several great songs all the way to work.

🙂  I have a wonderful man in my life!  We’re kinda like the Brady Bunch, but different!  He has 3 kids, just like Mike Brady, only one is a girl.  And he isn’t a gay actor portraying a straight man.  And we aren’t married.  I have moved in with my 3 babies.  All are girls, just like Carol Brady’s were, only mine are 4-legged furry types.  2 cats and one Yorkie dog.  And we don’t have a housekeeper/cook like Alice, so I’m not standing around snapping green beans, pretending to be cooking, while wearing a cute dress and pearls.  But that also means we don’t have the creeper butcher, Sam, dropping by to hit on our housekeeper.  But we’re a blended little bunch just like the Brady Bunch.  I LOVE my life, I’m happy.

🙂  I learned how to do a direct sales party online, so now I can do them for anyone across the country, expanding my client base.  That expands my income which hey, who can’t use a few more bucks?


Go spread some joy anyway that you can!  HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!!



Monday Quiz About Me

Acting Balanced

It’s Monday which is quiz day.  Not sure what to write about but want to post something?  This is your hop/meme. Click the icon above and come link up. Acting Balanced posts the first 4 questions and you make up a 5th question for those reading your blog to answer in the comment section, so be sure you do that as you move around.

Here are the Questions:

1.  June 10th is Iced Tea Day – do you drink iced tea?  Sweet or unsweet?  Flavoured?

2. What would be an essential for you to survive a long airplane flight?

3.  How do you explain wanting an iron to someone who does not speak English?

4.  Should smoking be allowed in restaurants?

**And the bonus question for readers to answer below in the comments**

5.  Who or what is your go to when you need a little inspiration in your day to get your motivation mojo on?

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1.  June 10th is Iced Tea Day – do you drink iced tea?  Sweet or unsweet?  Flavoured?

Yes I love iced tea!  I grew up drinking mint iced tea because my grandma on dad’s side made it.  Everyone in the family at some point had taken a cut of the mint plant and started growing it to make grandma’s tea.  She would cut and dry the mint to be able to make it all year round, it is kind of a family tradition.  I will need to start my own mint plant here soon at the Castle so that I can make it.  It is sweetened, so I have to be careful not to over do it or the weight I am losing will be back.

2. What would be an essential for you to survive a long airplane flight?

Xanex and a few very strong drinks.  No really, the other passengers get very disturbed by my being curled up in the fetal position on the floor sobbing and sucking my thumb.  I HATE flying, it terrifies me and never gets any easier for me.  I have found that the Xanex and a couple of shots of whiskey = the Marvelous one will sleep like a baby all the way to the landing of the plane.

3.  How do you explain wanting an iron to someone who does not speak English?

Acting it out!  I think I could easily express it to someone that I needed an iron through actions.

4.  Should smoking be allowed in restaurants?

Yes.  Let me explain. I am not a smoker and do not like being around it at any time but especially when eating.  However I do not believe the powers that be should make it illegal to smoke where folks eat, leave that to  each individual establishment to determine if they will be smoking, non-smoking, or have designated smoking sections.  There is NO proof whatsoever that second hand smoke causes cancer, that is a complete bogus claim.  There are beliefs and theories but so far no proof.  Not to mention that often the food those folks are consuming in the smoke free environment are doing far more damage to their bodies by clogging arteries etc.  Places that opt to remain smoke free will draw customers like me, who do not smoke and don’t want to be around it while eating.  Those that allow it will draw smokers.


5.  Who or what is your go to when you need a little inspiration in your day to get your motivation mojo on?

I have several.  I will go to Youtube and watch either Patsy Clairmont or Amanda Gore.  Both are hilarious women.

Monday Memos

Monday MemosDear Self, 

Nothing beats a really good book that grabs you and keeps your interest, something you just do not want to put down.  Even better is when that book has a “part 2” and it is very inexpensive so you download it right away and start reading.  After all, having a Kindle means no driving to the book store, which happened to be closed upon reaching the end of book #1, so even better.

However, while the books were indeed very good and recommended reads, perhaps 2:30am was just a little late (or maybe early depending if you mean late at night or early in the morning) to stay awake and finish a book.  You are not 18 anymore, you NEED a good night of sleep just to resemble ‘normal’ on your best day.  So, what do you think, maybe leave the Kindle in your purse tonight and go to bed early?


Dear Amazing Individual Responsible For Coffee,

I don’t know you.  I have no idea whatever possessed you to grind up coffee beans and mix them with hot water to create this glorious potion in my cup, but I cannot thank you enough.  There simply are no adequate words.  No doubt you were given gold wings when you arrived at the pearly gates as a reward.

In awe,
Caffeine Addict

P.S. – every living creature on  2 or 4 legs that crosses my path each morning sends their unabashed gratitude as well.

Dear Scale,

Okay, I get it, time to duct tape my mouth shut.  The screaming in agony was really uncalled for, even if my ass is the size of a Volkswagen Beetle. RUDE!

Pleasantly Plump

Dear I-75N Morning Commuters,

When traffic that normally cruises down the highway, far exceeding the posted speed limit, is suddenly at a stand-still, then inching along, I expect carnage!  Twisted steel, shattered glass, maybe even body parts and blood on the pavement, a life-less hand sticking out from under a sheet.  Sun is NOT an excuse to suddenly screetch to a halt and then drive along trying to see through your fingers and dirty windshield.  BUY A PAIR OF GOOD SUNGLASSES!!  Nearly every stop-n-rob and gas station has a rack of eye protection that varies in price so there is something for every budget.  You all drive this same route every day, this is not a new event, it should not come as a shocker!

You should also consider GETTING OFF THE CELL PHONE so you have a free hand to shield your eyes, and put down the coffee for the same reason.

Thinks Road Rage Might Be Justifiable – Thank whoever discovered coffee that I’ve not aimed my grandpa’s proverbial “gun that shot sh*t” at your car and opened fire.

From The Top Of The Fence

Lately I’ve found myself perched on the fence which runs next to the road of life.  Through sunny days, rainy ones, even some that are cold and snowy, I’m just sitting here on the top, swinging my legs and thinking.  Some times I’m walking down memory lane, remembering the happy and not so happy times in my life.  Other days I am looking with great uncertainty at my future.  Then there are the days I’m just hanging on for dear life hoping not to fall off of this spot on the top rail and land on my tush in the mud puddle on the road side.

The reason I am sitting here is that I’m really uncertain which direction to go at the moment.  So many potential paths meet at this particular point on my life’s map and I just don’t know which one to start down, so I’m doing….nothing.  Wait, not true, I’m doing a lot, just in one place, not going forward down any road, or backward for the matter.  Just existing.

Confused? Me too.

I am at a growth point in my life where I know in my core there is something I am supposed to be doing and learning, right here on the fence….but what?

One of the things I am pondering, is combining my blogs.  While it may cost me some readers, it is too much to manage with my spiritual journey and life blogs.  My faith is part of me.  So, I will likely import it here and you, the faithful readers, can figure out which posts you wish to read from there on your own.

I need to simplify my life and start cutting negative people and forces from my sphere as well.


I wrote the above portion while eating lunch at work yesterday.  On the drive home I was tapped into my friend/boss, because he shoots straight but does it with the kindest of hearts and best of intentions.  He knows all of my dark secrets, the cracks in my shell, and has seen all the hues of my colorful personality and still loves me.  He has seen me at my worst, and at my best, and both make him laugh out loud.  And when he knows this powder keg personality of mine is in a situation where the potential for a huge explosion of either anger or crazy, over the top insane fun is about to occur, he just says, “Keep your clothes on, Ethel”.  That is my cue to stop, breathe, evaluate and dial down.   Though it isn’t fool-proof, it does have a tendency to cause me to at the least slow down.

So yesterday I picked his brain.  I knew that I have areas I need a little nip & tuck so to speak when it comes to improving me on the inside, I have been very resistant to examining myself.  But sooner or later that little voice gets through my very thick shell and I listen.  You cannot pray for guidance and then ignore it when it starts leaning on the doorbell to your heart.  I asked him some pointed questions about things he has said to me, knowing I was not likely to warmly embrace the answers but if I want honest input he is the one to dish it out, in bite size pieces for me to chew on.

He carefully placed a plank across the mud puddle, then helped me climb down off the fence and we started to walk down the path with the sign that says “needs attention”.  On this path we encountered “drama”.  I hate that word and wanted to turn around and run back to the fence, climb back up and pout.  But I had promised to listen with an open mind and heart, and I did ask for this, after all.  He prefaced what he said by reminding me that when it comes to people he loves and those he employees as his right arm, he doesn’t do dumb and doesn’t do boring.  Poor man, I am anything but boring, and his word, ‘colorful’, doesn’t scratch the surface.   And no I am not dumb, far from it.  I just tend to make poor choices when I’m pissed off.  I ‘react’ rather than think.  Which is what he was getting to with the drama.

He doesn’t think I am a drama queen, just that I tend to be a magnet for drama.  And when it does come my way I have a tendency to grab a stick and stir it up really good.  Oh heck, who am I kidding, I grab the industrial grade blender and set it on high, lid off so the contents go everywhere.  He did note that this only happens when someone hurts me, that it is in raw pain and emotion that I will go for the throat and rip someone’s jugular wide open and then stab them repeatedly while they are bleeding out.  I don’t know when in my life this started, though my childhood was full of being the misfit.  I am a card-carrying member of the Island Of Misfit Toys from “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer”.  I have never felt like I fit in that I can remember.  A person can only take so much being knocked down and picked on before they start lashing out.  I built up the walls around me to protect myself, and behind that tough exterior is a very insecure woman who still hears the voices of her tormentors at times.

The boss heard me described as “emotional” once by the ex, but he prefers to call it passion.  I am very passionate no doubt about it, in every area of my life from love to work to….yeah let’s not go THERE.  And he doesn’t think it is a bad thing at all, says people with passion also have a real heart.  But the passion can over flow the banks of the river of emotion and then the tsunami like damage can be done.  He also pointed out that I cannot change that, it is who and what I am.  BUT I can change how I direct and use that passion.  I don’t always have to flood the land with negative emotion. He has seen the positive emotion over flow and finds it highly amusing and fun to be around- says it is what draws folks to me, because I am full of life and compassion too.  He has helped me more than once (“Keep your clothes on, Ethel”) when what I wanted to do was shred someone verbally and so while it stung to get into this area of my character, I was able to see that I can indeed maintain who I am, not bury or hide my passion, just redirect the currents when negative emotions start the waters rising.

That  “come to Jesus” talk came in handy, and the timing was no doubt Divinely appointed.  See, when I got home last night and settled in after work, I came across a book that was recently published.  Seems the ex-hubster’s new wife is trying her hand at writing.  All in all it was a cute story, but I was cut deep by the ‘character’ of me and how others (ie: my children) view me in her tale.  I was given the name, Zelda.  Sounds like a wicked witch name, and yes I yanked open the broom closet but couldn’t find my magic means of evil transport.  What was written hurt, a LOT.  But with the earlier discussion still warm in my ears, I resisted the urge to write a tell-all book about the ex, “the rest of the story” as Paul Harvey would say, that  would show the world he is less than the stellar, upstanding member of the community that is portrayed in her novel.  Instead, I called the Cowboy and talked to him.  Then I took a deep breath and digested it all.  I have never said an unkind word about her, and I never will.  I don’t know her well, but what I have come to know is a nice person, with a beautiful smile that goes all the way to her eyes.  I’ve tried to do the right thing in any situation where we both were present, even went well beyond that on one occasion and I’d do it again even now.  She only knows the negative and fringe, she doesn’t know ME.  She doesn’t know the me that loved my husband with every fiber of my being, that prayed for him, that was there when he was broken and ugly, that remained faithful and loyal and never spoke an unkind word about him to anyone until we divorced.  The me that still loves him very much and always will.  The me my ex loved and married, had children with, and had a marriage that he said was 90% good.  The me that wanted more than anything to be a stay at home mom, but instead missed my kids growing up years because I had to work to provide for my family when my husband could not.  The me that never gave up on him, but was tossed aside like yesterday’s newspaper by him.  He was my hero.  Once the raw pain subsided, I could be happy for him, and I am, as he seems to have found his soul mate.

I’m so thankful that I didn’t react like I initially felt, but instead dropped the dagger, sat on my pretty little fingers and waited, prayed, cried and waited some more.  The more I did this, the more I decided I rather like “Zelda”, she is someone colorful and wacky, a little looney and far from boring.  In fact, I’m even going to pimp the book:

It is an ebook, available for 99 cents on your Kindle. Click the picture to purchase.

This morning I decided to look up name meanings, and see just what Zelda means.  I like it, and in fact, embrace it, especially after sharing it with someone else who said it fits me rather well.

Your First Name of: Zelda (from the website:

  • Your first name of Zelda has given you a responsible, expressive, inspirational, and friendly personality.
  • Expression comes naturally to you and you are rarely at a loss for words; in fact, you have to put forth effort at times to curb an over-active tongue.
  • Self-confidence has made it easy for you to meet people and you are well-liked for your spontaneous, happy ways.
  • You sincerely like people and do not often experience loneliness; your work and home-life are likely filled with association You enjoy music and could have a fine singing voice; however, the study could be somewhat difficult because you do not find it easy to apply yourself to concentrated study for long periods.
  • In this respect, this name is not altogether constructive; it creates a somewhat scattering influence which makes it difficult for you to finish what you start.
  • This name brings disappointments and emotional involvements through being too sympathetic and easily influenced.
  • As a result of your active nature, you have an appetite for quick-energy foods, which you could consume to excess.
  • Health weakness appear as skin conditions, or as ailments relative to the liver.

Wine & Cheese ~ 61st Serving

iStock_000003890177XSmallWelcome to Wine & Cheese, my weekly, Wednesday whine session.

Many weeks on Wednesday I devote a blog to whining.

Despite being a really happy, positive person, I do have things that annoy me at times.

I never let anything grate on my nerves for long but thought it would be fun to vent them periodically in my blogs.

I also feel that good things, the cheese in life, should be acknowledged as well. I’m even going to throw in a bit of dessert, a piece of virtual chocolate, something that made me laugh or smile just a bit more than normal.

If you’d like to read the past editions of Wine & Cheese just click HERE for all of the past postings. Sit back and join me now for the 60th  serving of some wine and cheese!

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:(  I have been SO busy that I’ve neglected my blog.  It isn’t an intentional thing, only that it isn’t as big a priority as getting work done for my full time job and Avon business.  But hoping that I can fix that this weekend by writing ahead a bit and using the schedule feature to get things posted.  I miss writing!

😦  Where is Spring???  I am so tired of being cold, having my nose run, having to scrape my car off and warm it up in the mornings.  I want to roll the windows down and feel the breeze, get on a Harley and be someone’s fender fluff, sleep with the windows open in my room.

😦  My favorite TV shows are all coming to the end of their seasons.  This is both good and bad.  Good in that I won’t have to try to squeeze those in from Prime Time On Demand, bad in that, well…I’ll miss Daryl on The Walking Dead.


🙂  I am loving my job!!!  I didn’t think I would like being back behind a desk and computer but it is SO much more than that!  It is an awesome feeling when you are helping people who have watched their lives turned on end in minutes due to fire, flood or storms.  Knowing that what we do restores their homes and memories is a super way to spend the day, and our days fly by!

🙂  I keep being mistaken for being some years younger, and even asked a few times recently if I am my daughter’s sister.  I am not going to lie, I totally embrace turning 50, my new bi-focal glasses etc, but it does the ego very much good to be guessed or assumed younger!   I credit my skin care regimen!  You can read about that on my beauty blog.

🙂  It’s Wednesday!  Middle of the week and we can see Friday if we stand on our toes!  YIPPIEEEEEEE!!!


Oh SO guilty!!!


Christmas Eve Morning Coffee Musings…

Coffee cup with steamI need to vent.

First, over night there was another drunk driving fatality.  Really, is it so difficult to call a cab? A friend? NOT GET DRUNK AND DRIVE???  It doesn’t just impact the family of the victim.  And by the way “victim” I use loosely as if you drove drunk and wrecked that is rather self imposed.  I prefer reckless fool to victim.  Word is out that he was in fact drunk, was verbally reported on the news.  There is a family that now for Christmas Eve morning is being told that someone isn’t going to be there to open his gifts this year.  But the impact doesn’t stop there.  Police officers and fire/rescue personnel will carry those images home with them today.  If you think it doesn’t bother them you are nuts.  And please don’t tell me that they should get a different job, it would eat at the heart and mind of the Grinch himself.  Then the lucky officer who had to go ring someone’s doorbell in the wee hours this morning to share the “good news” with the loved ones of the 24 year old deceased, he or she will carry that with them through the holiday as well, the shock, grief etc. of that family.  The only good is that he only took out himself.

Yesterday in the wee hours, a family headed to visit relatives for Christmas was forever changed when a drunk driver going the wrong way on the highway hit them head on. He is dead, his 7 year old is dead, and in the other vehicle the parents are dead and some of their children are in the hospital with life threatening injuries.  All dead, so many grieving, and all because someone was not responsible enough to get a designated driver.

Yes, I’ve been one of those drivers in my life, and thankfully never hurt myself or anyone else.  Things like this remind me that it just is NOT worth it.

On to better things.  Sorry just had to vent for a minute.

I am not ready for Christmas, I have a few things to finish up here today.  But despite being dead broke and no money, I’m happier than I have been in years.  I have my family, my health, and finished classes and got certified to work as a nurse aide.  I have the love of a bunch of awesome, quirky, slightly off balance and dysfunctional family and friends.

On Wednesday my 2nd grandchild will make his entrance into this world and the huge family (on his mommy and daddy’s sides) that already love that little man more than we can all begin to say.

In this year I’ve gained a daughter-in-law, a granddaughter, and before it ends a grandson.  So much love to go around, something money cannot buy to put under my tree.  Lives that make mine so full of joy and laughter.

Maybe that is why those stories make me so mad…I know how precious life is, and what a gift filled holiday this is simply because of who touches my life, and how I’d feel if one of those priceless treasures was torn from my world because of stupidity.

#7, #8, #9 ~ My Grown Up Christmas List

7 8 9To see the full list click  HERE

First, let me apologize for having to put 3 together in one post.  I’ve been sick and just not feeling up to sitting down and actually engaging  my brain into a post.  Thanks to the visit to the clinic, I’m good!

#7 ~ My Friend, Cowboy

Long time readers will recall this was a man I was going to marry.  Things changed, but we are still the very best of friends.  In fact we text and talk daily and sometimes multiple times a day.  He is one of my best cheer leaders to encourage me, and I certainly hope I am one of his.

As with all the men I’ve become serious with in my life, he is one of those I believe I was meant to help fix broken pieces of their hearts and souls, but not a forever love.  Friends but not meant to be lovers and spouses.

This time of year is often very hard on those that have shattered memories.  So for Cowboy I wish for a special Christmas this year, complete with a Christmas angel.  A renewed, inner child-like spirit of the holidays that sees it all through the eyes of innocence.   For some happy memories to be made this Christmas.  For fences to be mended wherever possible, and for the love of the Lord and the joy of the Lord to be his strength.  I believe in miracles and I wish several to come his way this Christmas season.

#8 ~ My Daughter-in-Law

As her pregnancy is winding down to the end she is doing all of those last minute things around their new house to be ready when my grandson arrives.  She is swelling a bit in hands and feet and I know she is starting to get tired. I pray for peace in her heart and spirit,  lots of good solid rest leading up to the delivery.  I pray God’s angels will watch over her and my granddaughter when my son is at work, and over him while he is working, bringing him home safely to his family each day.  And for an easy, complication free delivery and a very healthy mom and baby Collin.

I’m so thankful for her and her beautiful, spunky daughter that have been added to my family, giving me the new title of grandma.

#9 ~ For My Car

I really need my car to be right now, it has been fixed for multiple issues this year.  I need it to be reliable so I can get too and from school the next 2 weeks, and then to and from my job that I will be starting in January, Lord willing.  I need it to also keep my Avon business going.  I had to let that slide for a while without a car to drive.  I really appreciate any and all prayers to this effect so that I can accomplish these things and get myself back on track financially.   I have many bills that need catching up and then back on a regular payment schedule.

TTUT ~ OMG? Seriously?

OH and spilling it I plan to do.

I’m frustrated right now.  Don’t get me wrong, still the perky, positive, marvelous woman.  But lately so much has frustrated me!

My car.  I swear the piece of &*$^% has spent more time being fixed than it has being driven in the past 6 months…okay year! Past YEAR!  And each time it is something new going wrong.  I cannot afford a new car right now, so I have to just keep praying we finally fix the last thing and I can drive it for a while.  The shocks and struts need replacing, have for literally years now.  The ex promised to “get to them soon” for over a year, then when we were divorcing he again said he’d get to them.  I moved out, those will likely never see HIS promise kept.  I keep hoping space garbage will fall from the sky and take out the car.

My Avon business.  It is a little hard to keep a business going when the car doesn’t work.  Especially one in direct sales.  I need to be able to get out, meet people, distribute my brochures and get those sales and recruits.   But I need my car to do that.  Grrrrrr……  The website side is down too.  If you need any Avon, like great stocking stuffers etc, please, go to MY AVON STORE and buy buy buy!  Til midnight tonight, $10 orders ship free (when checking out use code: SHIPTEN).  After midnight, all orders $30 or more ship free.  Tell a buddy, I could seriously use every single sale no matter how small!

My SwissJust business.  Never got off the ground because again, the stupid car.

I want to start a 2 week school program next week to get my certification as a nurse aide, but without a reliable vehicle that simply isn’t likely to happen.  I have a job if I can just get the darn certification!!!! GRRRRR!  And I don’t even want the job, I love my Avon business, but  until I can recover from the down time financially, I have to do something.  Besides, having the certification and job to fall back on is not a bad thing.

Sunday, after one day of having my car back and loving my FREEDOM again, I got in it to drive to church and it is acting up again.  I wanted to cry! I was determined that if I had to walk there in the rain, I was going.  I’ve missed 3 weeks prior due to a cold/flu/something virus that I finally shook off after spending a day with the puke virus and fever.  But finally I got the car to cooperate and drove.  Walking really is a doable thing, the church is only a little over half a mile from my house, and I won’t melt if I get wet.  I was SO glad I went, so well fed and I miss my church family when not there.

SIGH….okay nothing changed by venting, but I feel better.   🙂

Day 28 – 30 Days Of Thankfulness 2012

Today I am thankful for family and friends who can fix things.

My laptop is acting up and I fear it is on death’s bed.  My youngest brother is going to come by and check it out and see if he can do anything.  He is very good with fixing and building computers.  Thankfully.

He is also very good at breaking the news to you, when, as he put it, “I think it went to that great silicon graveyard in the sky.”

I have many friends and family members able to fix just about anything or they can recommend a solution.  Even if it is to open up the window and toss it out, or in the case of my car, hope space garbage falls from the sky and lands on it.

Seriously, though, I am fortunate to be surrounded by funny, yet talented individuals.


Day 17 ~ 30 Days Of Thankfulness 2012

I am thankful for my freedom.  As in being single.

I know that will strike many as rather odd, considering how shattered I was when my marriage ended.

Being single, I’ve learned a lot more about myself than I knew before.  With me being the only primary responsibility and priority, I have had a chance for much reflection on who, what, where, when, why and how regarding myself.  I’ve discovered things about me that I’d totally forgotten.  I can be whoever or whatever pleases me at the moment and don’t have to sleep with or really care one bit about what those who are critical of my choices have to say about it.  I can take risks, explore, etc. the world around me and myself in MY time and do it all my way.  And I can fail at anything and not be criticized by anyone that matters to me.

I know it may sound selfish, but I don’t mean it too.  I think it is very important that we stay in touch with our true, inner self.  Often in a relationship of any great length, we let go of our inner self in order to hang on to the other person, sacrificing who we are to make another happy.  There is much maturity and self awareness that doesn’t usually come along until we have some living under our belts and sadly, most of us don’t have it when we marry young, as I did.  Relationships should be a blending of two people without either giving up who they are or parts of who they are, in order to make things work.  Compromise is fine, but not Photoshopping ourselves.  No one is worth  our priceless self that does not willingly accept what they view as our imperfections.  You want my best, you have to take the worst too.  I’m not a menu.

When the day comes that I get married again, my mate will be getting a far better person than the previous one had.  I know who I am now, and I’m not willing to negotiate me any longer.  And that, for the sake of both parties, will actually be a far better relationship arrangement than I was in before.  It is why more and more I think toward an arranged marriage, not one of someone else establishing for me, but me and the next significant other arranging based first on common sense, logic and reason, then attraction, and then let the love grow from the friendship and fondness.  Frankly I think it will have more staying power.

I’m thankful for the freedom that helped me find me.