Tuesday Coffee Chat (Back From The Dead)

Yes, I am alive, and even well.  Almost anyway, maybe 85% but that is enough to get back up on this horse called LIFE and ride like I stole it!  What better way to do that than join in with Rory Bore at Ink Interrupted for the Tuesday Coffee Chat!

How’s it Hanging?   
Tell us about one of your favourite hangouts.

Easy peasy, one of my very favorite places to hang out and chill is my room!  Seriously it is without a doubt my best spot for thinking, planning, writing, crocheting, praying, meditating, recovering from illness….I’ve made it my nest of sorts and it is my place to just BE.

My music is handy when I’m working there, and my desk is by the window so when it is warm (will it ever truly be spring and warm again?) my window is open, breeze moving the curtains as it whispers across my skin, birds can be heard singing and kids laughter as they play in the neighborhood.

Another favorite is the deck, because I love being outside in the park like setting we have here.  Me, a book or crochet project, under the trees or watching for deer to cut through the yard in search of food.

 

deck

 

Both of these places are my havens, places of refuge that I enjoy.

Where do you like to hang?

Love. What is it? ~ Tuesday Coffee Chat

 Love.  Amour.   What is it?  Does it happen at first sight?  
Do you only get one great love per life time?  
How do YOU know love?

 

Well hey there, nothing like hitting a deep topic for a snow covered, single digit, thank-God-for-coffee Tuesday.  Rory, dear sister blogger, you sure know how to pick a topic!  Glad my coffee cup is bottomless today as well.  So let’s do this!

LOVE:

What is it?

An elder at my former church once defined it as such:

The heartfelt desire to do what is best for another, regardless of the temporal cost to self (in the spiritual, eternal sense, it is NEVER a sacrifice to to what is best for others!)  

Love is adopting the best interest of another in your heart as your own best interest. (Keeping in mind that what is “best” ALWAYS means what is best for the soul….meaning that what is best for another is ALWAYS what draws them closer to Christ.)

That pretty much sums it up for me.  Even if you are not a Christian, it applies, that it is the heartfelt desire to do what is best for another.  If you love someone, your desire is to put them and what is best for them, ahead of yourself. This would apply to love of a couple, love of parent to child, or friend to friend.  Even owner to pet, because we love them too!  It covers it all.

The bible says love your neighbor as you do yourself.  Well, that definition certainly covers it, because if you love yourself you do what is best for yourself.  And if you don’t do that, you aren’t truly able to love another, at least in my opinion.

Does it happen at first sight?

Um, by that very definition, my answer is no.  I believe in serious attraction from the get go, after all that is usually what draws us to someone to begin with, either physical, emotional, intellectual or hopefully all of those at once.  But I have never met anyone that right from that very second I’d have put their life in front of mine, with the exception of my children.  But then I believe instincts and the bonding with them before they are born, lends itself to that and you really do love them, as a mother, before they are born.

I DO believe that chemistry plays into it.  We all have our own scent (ask a dog), and I’m sure that we are hard wired some how to find instant chemistry with someone of the opposite gender who would be a good match for us.  But love takes time, and grows stronger with that time, so other than instant chemistry and attraction, no love at first sight.

Do you only get one great love per life time?

I certainly hope not!  I don’t buy that for a minute.

I’ve said I will never love another man the way I did my ex-husband.  But there is a lot of explaining to do with that statement.  We spent 22 years together as husband and wife.  We raised children, went through good, bad, rich, poor, sickness and more sickness, health etc.  There are SO many memories and for me, most of those very good.  There is a long history there.  For me, he was a great love, was my hero, my rock, joy and heartache.  The saddest part of a marriage breaking up is that down the road, with another person, there will be no “hey remember when Bubbles was 3 and…” because those memories were made with someone else.  A mom loves her mate in a way no one can, as she watches him with their children, falling in love over and over again with him throughout those years.

BUT I do believe I can have another great love in my lifetime, and plan too.  Things will be different, getting to know someone on those core depths again, and new memories made.  There won’t be children to raise, taking some of the stress off.  There will be us, just 2, learning about each other and growing together.  But I believe it will be a great love.  I WANT to love like that again, being completely open, vulnerable and trusting of another person to hold my heart and loyalty in safe keeping.  The kind of love that the binding ritual words from the Carpathian series by Christine Feehan, would make (with slight tweaking) outstanding wedding vows:

You are my lifemate.
I claim you as my lifemate.
I belong to you.
I offer my life for you.
I give you my protection.
I give you my allegiance.
I give you my heart.
I give you my soul.
I give you my body.
I take into my keeping the same that is yours.
Your life will be cherished by me for all my time.
Your life will be placed above my own for all time.
You are my lifemate.
You are bound to me for all eternity.
You are always in my care.

So one great love?  Na, but I think there are at most 2, or 3 tops, in a lifetime, because that kind of love requires a lot heart and soul, and usually that is earned over the long haul.

How do YOU know love?

I know love as:  a daughter, granddaughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, fiance’, wife, mother, grandmother, aunt, sister-in-law, fur baby’s mama, neighbor, co-worker.

Tuesday Coffee Chat – Names

It is Tuesday, Coffee Chat day.  If you blog you can click the coffee cup and link up with us over on Rory Bore’s site, or read what the others in the group have to say.

Today’s chat topic:  What does your name mean? If you use an alias, tell why you choose that particular moniker.

Okay we’ll just get the technical jumbo out of the way from http://www.thinkbabynames.com:

Martha meaning and name origin

Martha \m(a)-rtha, martha\ as a girl’s name is pronounced MAR-tha. It is of Aramaic origin, and the meaning of Martha is “lady; mistress of the house“. Biblical: the sister of Mary and Lazarus. She is patron saint of the helping professions. The name was revived by and popular with the Puritans. Lifestyle maven Martha Stewart; First Lady Martha Washington; dancer Martha Graham; Martha “Calamity” Jane Burke; actress Martha Plimpton.

Martha has 33 variant forms: Maarva, Marfa, Marhta, Mariet, Marit, Mart, Marta, Marte, Martella, Martelle, Marth, Marthe, Marthena, Marthine, Marthini, Marthy, Marti, Martie, Martina, Martita, Martje, Martta, Marty, Martynne, Martyne, Marva, Mata, Matha, Matti, Mattie, Mirtha, Pat and Pattie.

While we’re at it, Urban Dictionary defines Martha as:

(noun)a term used to describe a girl who’s a genuine badass; a successful independent woman who doesn’t take crap from no one and is well respected by everyone; everyone she meets loves her and just flat out envies how bad-ass she is; may be used in adj. form

a beautiful girl that is often mistaken for being quiet but is definitely not.

-meaning: one who is beautiful, inside and out.

-of the roman decent

And for shits and giggles:

A woman with obvious sex appeal, class, and intelligence who turns heads when she walks into a room.

I was named for my mom, and her mother, Martha.  With varying middle names.  But Marti is what we were called.  Mom was, I am and that is how it goes.

I like my name, both Martha and Marti.  But Martha has a very emotional connection to my grandfather so you have to earn the right to call me that and so far, no man ever has since his death.  Marti is the name I have had since birth and so that is what I use. I do have a pen name that I will be using to write my books under but that one doesn’t get shared.  Sorry.  I have bought the URLs for the pen name so that I have them when ready to publish the books.  I will of course let my readers know at that time, but until then, I am not ready to share.

 

 

 

Tuesday Coffee Chat – Most Beautiful Word

It’s Tuesday, which means it is time to chat over our coffee.  But I understand that not everyone drinks coffee, we can’t all be perfect.  So feel free to grab your tea, soda, water, wine, whatever works for you.

Today the chat question is:  What is the most beautiful word in the world?

Now that is a tough one because words are amazing and I am not certain I have just one I think is most beautiful.  But there are some that stand out above the others.  So, for the chat sake, I will go with:  Nana 

Yep it is currently my favorite, probably because I am now into that chapter of life.  I LOVE my grandchildren.  I have 4 now, 2 that carry my blood, but all 4 carry my heart.  To me the 2 that don’t carry my blood are just as much mine as if they did, I don’t care for the term ‘step-grandchild’, to me they are all my grandbabies.   They are my joy, no doubt.

This is partially because in order to be a grandmother, you first are a mother.  Being a mom was an incredible experience, so it stands to reason that when your children start having their own, it is just that much better.

My grandkids have multiple grandmothers and we all go by some name, Nana, Mawmaw, Grammie, Grandma etc, but no matter which form of it you use, right now, Nana is the best word ever to me!

Oh, and of  course their nicknames I gave them, SnuggleSlugger, SnuggleBerry, SnuggleBug and SnuggleBean.

Tuesday Coffee Chat

 

Rory over at Time Out For Mom is the Tuesday Coffee Chat hostess, and today her question was:  If you were over for coffee, what snack should I provide for you: Salty or Sweet?

First, I want to say I’d be one very honored individual to have the opportunity to drink coffee with Rory.  I follow her blog and enjoy her writing.  And we share a love for coffee and wine, it’s like we are connected or something.

I love both salty and sweet.  I usually follow salty (or spicy) foods with something sweet because I crave sweet right behind the salty.

When sipping wine, I love chocolate, especially dark chocolate.  Sometimes, if in the mood for salty, popcorn with the wine.  But I love popcorn with beer..and coffee, and diet soda.  Heck even with ice water.

A favorite fall snack is candy corn and dry roasted peanuts mixed together.  Because sometimes sweet and salty together rock.

Bottom line, either is good, especially with coffee.  Coffee is always the foundation for me.  🙂

 

Tuesday Coffee Chat – Collections


OMG I thought this would never get here again!  Our hostess over at Time Out For Mom had taken the summer off from hosting the Tuesday Coffee Chat meme.  I missed it even when I didn’t get to participate.  Thank goodness she has returned.  Not a deep subject today but that is okay, my brain isn’t in the game today anyway.

Today’s topic is:  COLLECTIONS as in do I collect anything? Or have an addiction of sorts too?

Well…yes.  If you follow me for more than about 5 minutes you will pick up on the fact that I collect anything Hello Kitty and I lean especially hard toward anything pink and Hello Kitty.

I’m not at all sure why this is just that I think she is adorable and the creators can say whatever they wish, she is a cat.  Little girls do not have whiskers or tails.  Some of us older gals in the menopause years have been known to sport fuzzy faces (not yours truly yet), but as far as those whiskers found on cats, this ‘little girl’ is no little girl. Sorry but I don’t buy it.

I have 18 pairs of Hello Kitty socks, so I suppose you could say I collect socks too.  I have some Hello Kitty jammies and numerous pairs of earrings and a couple of watches and necklaces too, all Hello Kitty.  My phone case is Hello Kitty, my key chain, and I even have a Hello Kitty coffee mug and a travel mug that matches.  Sad I know.

Speaking of coffee cups, while it isn’t a collection, I do have 3 out of which I must drink my coffee.  I am a tad OCD about a few things and that is one of them.  Hence, as I am staying at my son’s with his other 2 children while his wife is giving birth to #3, I’m about to have a nervous breakdown over the cup I’m drinking coffee from.  It isn’t one of MY special cups and that is killing me.  But the coffee is so big a part of me I cannot do without it so such is life.  I’ll survive.

So there you have it, my odd ball collections of things off the wall for a 51yo woman.

Click the icon above to join us and share your collections.

Tuesday Coffee Chat – The One Question

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I LOVE today’s Tuesday Coffee Chat question:

What is the one question you would ask everyone you meet?

I do have a go to question, and sometimes actually remember to ask it:

What is the best thing that has happened to you today?

Isn’t it great?  It is on my outgoing message on  my voice mail and it is funny how many people leave their message and take the time to tell me what the best thing of the day was for them!  I get a lot of compliments on my outgoing message for that reason.

At dinner with the step-kiddos that has become part of what I use to get them talking.  First I ask what is something new they learned that day.  Then we follow up with asking what the best thing of the day was, and they have to stop and think.  “Nothing” is not an acceptable answer for either dinner time inquiry.

SO, stands to reason that I ask YOU, my readers, what is the best thing that has happened to you today?

Tuesday Coffee Chat ~ What Makes Me Unique?

Today is Tuesday, and time for the Tuesday Coffee Chat.  Join in and post your answer the the Tuesday question!

What Makes Me Unique?

  • I’m 50 years old and still a big kid!  I love pink dye in my hair and ANYTHING Hello Kitty.
  • Direct Sales? I’m addicted and have 3 different direct sales businesses.
  • My desk has a variety of toys on it, from Hello Kitty, Smurfette, and the entire Wizard Of Oz Happy Meal collection.
  • I love the color pink, bright pink!  My office practically glows when the lights are on thanks to the bright pink walls.
  • I have a watch fetish.  I own about 15 watches, and will likely own a lot more as I find cute ones to add to my collection.
  • I took the Kolbe A Index and MO quiz online, best $$ spent in a while, and discovered I am a 7-3-7-3.  🙂
  • Social Media is like a drug addiction for me!  Thanks to that it is an area that I am given to work on for the company so that I can play to my strengths.
  • I  love chocolate, especially dark!
  • Marti with the party! I just like to be positive and have FUN!

Weird & Wonderful – Tuesday Coffee Chat

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WEIRD AND WONDERFUL

The Weird:

What is with dogs?  I take the Yorkie out to do her business and as long as she is just peeing it isn’t too difficult, she finds a spot without even bothering to sniff for the most part.  But OH if she needs to drop a little brown bomb, look out.  She will walk a path in about a 2 to 3 square foot area, the same path, over and over and over again.  Soon as she gets to the end of the little design she walked, she does it again.  Some times she will reverse like a toy that has bumped into the wall, and go back over her exact steps, then reverse and do it all again.  Same path.  After several minutes of this, with me coaching her to “focus damn it mommy has to go too”, she finally walks about 2 feet outside of that area, in a straight line, and poops.  It’s as if she was drawing some kind of picture and then walked to the unused corner of the virtual canvas and signed her name with a turd.  I just do NOT understand it.  I have found multiple reasons for dogs doing this online but none stands out as the true answer other than to annoy an owner at 5am who is themselves doing a potty dance in the front yard.  However it is highly discouraged that I squat and go or the neighbors may get upset.  WEIRD!!!!

Speaking of dogs.  I had to leave the Yorkie at home today.  The boss brings his dog to work and she has fleas.  My puppy was fine after being fed and taken outside, then put back in her crate…until she heard me pick up my keys and stuff to leave.  Suddenly she started to whimper and made me feel bad.  It was like dropping my son at daycare or the baby sitter all over again 27 years ago!  I got all weepy too!  WEIRD!!!!

I love a good glass of wine or 3 now and then.  For quite awhile after moving into the Palace with the Knight I didn’t drink.  He doesn’t drink so there were no wine glasses in the house, and I just really didn’t feel much need to have a glass of wine.  I won’t argue as to anyone ever really needing a glass, as believe me in the interest of keeping the body count down I can justify, once in a while, needing  a glass of wine (or 3).  One night a few weeks back I decided I needed wanted a glass so I stopped and picked up a bottle of white zin.  Then I headed on over to Dollar Tree for a nice glass.  I bought the biggest one they had, for only $1.  While I have had wine it in, I’ve noted that even putting in sparking, fruit infused water to sip, seems to have a calming effect.  Same can be said for a diet soda.  It makes me wonder, if it isn’t just the glass?  The shape, the way it feels in my hand..kinda brings out the diva side of me, all sophistication and elegance, total class.  That side of me that will go off to the bathroom, shut the door, and quietly fart all lady-like rather than let it rip nice and loud while watching football.  WEIRD!!!!

The Wonderful:

Yep…you guessed it.  My Knight.  My man is just amazing and I cannot imagine life without him now that I’ve had life with him.  WONDERFUL!!!

1368638_520993701319492_1728425436_nMy wonderful man conceded (without batting an eye) to me bringing home a new kitten.  Originally my thought was til we found a forever home, but the kids and I wanted to keep her.  I actually wanted her from the first time I saw a picture of this adorable, black kitten that appears to have some Persian in her as her fur is long.  She has milk chocolate-colored eyes and is a rescue case.  She was found around a Skyline restaurant so my cousin dubbed her “Skylar”.  She had fleas and tape worm, but has a clean bill of health now from the vet.  She is 3-4 months old and 3 pounds of boundless energy!  The Knight’s mama sent me some great info about how to introduce her into the critterdome at home, so she wouldn’t be scared.  Well it didn’t last long and we had her out.  Pixel and Ditzy checked her out and hissed loudly at her, unimpressed with her cuteness.  Penny, the Yorkie, seems to like her, they rub noses and Penny wags her tail, and Skylar likes to hang near her.  If Penny is in her crate, Skylar lays next to it until we let the dog out.    The big cats, just keep hissing.  I was concerned at first, but seems my kitten is not at all afraid.  If they hiss at her, she bolts and chases after them.  She will chase them all over the house!  If they are laying there and she walks by, she will stop, reach out and touch their tail with her paw.  They turn, hiss and she lunges and they run.  Then she struts around and you can just tell she knows she just won!   It’s a riot.  She is a little bad ass!  WONDERFUL!!!!

Copyright © 2013 – Marvi Marti/Marti Gardner – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Tuesday Coffee Chat – In The Coming Year I Would Like To…

I love Tuesday Coffee Chat!  If you blog (and if you don’t why not start now?) you can click to coffee cup above to link up.

Today’s Coffee Chat is:

In the coming year I would like to…

Celebrate and embrace my 50th birthday by paying-it-forward through 50, random acts of kindness throughout the year.  And while it feels weird to consider blogging about them, as if it would be tooting my own horn, I hope it might inspire others to do the same. In fact I’d love to see many do them too, in line with their own birthday number.  Wouldn’t that be cool? As there are 52 weeks in the year, I need to average one a week. I can do that.

Start my novel writing career.  I have several I want to write and I am not getting any younger so why not just DO IT!

Shed around 30 pounds and get fit.  I am entirely out of condition physically and it is time to fix that before serious health issues result.

Build up my Avon business enough that it is paying all of my monthly expenses, and have 100 people in my down-line.

Donate blood every 8 weeks, because each donation can save up to 3 lives, and that is the only satisfaction/repayment one gets donating so it is pretty unselfish.  Well okay you do get good cookies afterward, and I jokingly say I do it for the cookies.

Get my Etsy shop stocked and online so that I can have additional income doing something else that I dearly love, hooking (crochet) blankets and baby things.

Resurrect family dinners once a month.  We used to do this, with my parents and siblings and their offspring.  We started it after 9/11 because we realized how quickly those we love could be taken (both of my brothers are fire fighters and my son is a cop).  It slowly fizzled out after a few years and I miss it so much.  I will be pulling this together, in fact today I’ll pull the Diva’s together and we’ll get this started since we certainly have a big enough house for it.

What about you, what will you do in the coming year?