Palace Pot Luck

The Palace is a happening place to be today!  SO much going on and accomplished before noon, I deserve an award of some kind.

Coffee was first and foremost, no caffeine = NO activity in my brain.

I cleaned out my email for my businesses, way too much spam had accumulated there.  Now there are a few dozen informative items to be read, listened too or filed but that will come later.

Showered and then gave the 8yo her bath.  She doesn’t really need much help except with washing her hair and getting a comb through Mount Tangle-Fest that invades her cute scalp over night.  She is ready to go cheer for her school football game, soon as the cheer leading uniform is on.

11yo showered then both kiddos fed breakfast.

1 large crock pot full of chili is on low in the kitchen for dinner.  My recipe.  VERY tasty and yes I will post it below with a photo of our dinner.

Cantaloupe cut and in a bowl, green grapes the size of a VW Bug washed and added, so now there is a mega bowl of fresh fruit to be snacked on.

Doggie got her bath, now she no longer smells icky.

Dishes done (can’t put everything in the dishwasher).

Dishwasher unloaded and put away.

Not too shabby a morning so far!  Now awaiting the new washer & dryer to be delivered.

Okay here is the recipe. It rocks, and is simple and you can use it for a base for something more elaborate if you wish.  This is meaty, and a tad sweet but not spicy hot.

MARVI MARTI’S BLACK BEAN CHILI

This can simmer for a few hours on the stove or put it in the crock pot.

3 lbs ground beef (or chuck/sirloin, whatever you prefer)

1 package of beefy onion soup mix (Lipton or store brand works great)

1/2 package frozen onion (I buy the 12 ounce bag and use half)

3 cans seasoned black beans

3 cans diced tomatoes (I use the chili seasoned ones)

1 package of chili powder (I use Buena Vida)

Brown the meat then add the onions, chili powder and soup mix.  Allow to cook together for a few minutes.  Then add the rest of the ingredients and simmer for a few hours or cook on low in your crock pot and come home to a nice, tasty chili.

Best part is that kids love this too as it isn’t spicy.

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How Do You Define Beauty?

547Some time back I saw a thought question, “What does beautiful look like in the dark?” and really contemplated that one.  I eventually included it as part of my dating profile on dating sites, stating that if you didn’t know what beauty looked like in the dark, you weren’t for me.  Not because I thought of myself as unattractive, I know I’m not an unattractive person.  I’ve turned my share of heads over the years, without having to dress in clothes that look like I borrowed them from my daughter.  At 50 I still turn a few heads, not as many as before in my younger days, but then it isn’t all that important.  All I have ever wanted was to be able to turn one head, and keep it turned, my direction forever.  Sure physical attraction is important, but I wanted that head to turn for ALL of me, the entire package.  Not my face, figure etc, but for my mind, my heart, my dreams and desires, my laughter and my tears.

For the past several years I thought that wasn’t possible to find, someone who found me beautiful in the dark.  I’m not talking about physical intimacy, heck I have no issues leaving the lights on for that, I am what I am.  I wanted to find that person who found me beautiful in those areas that are not ‘visible’ to the human eye.

Wouldn’t it be a very interesting world if we were all blind and could only ‘see’ people for who they really are?  Not their vessel, skin color, the hair, makeup or lack of it, a few extra pounds, wrinkles, warts whatever.  But all we would be able to see was their inner person, the heart and soul of the man or woman.

I worked for a few days in a nursing home, while getting my CNA certification.  Age is a real beast to the physical body.  Some folks will be blessed to age well as far as physical appearance, but let me tell you many do not.  Some are almost ‘disgusting’ to look upon, making it difficult to look past the outside and into the heart.  And what of those severely burned, or maimed by accident or war?  Hard to get past the sometimes horrifying exteriors.  Yet that person on the inside is still the same one that at one time maybe we’ d have called sexy or hot.  How many have we all passed by barely looking at, that could have enriched our lives if we had seen past their looks?

There are so many beautiful, interesting, wonderful people in this world who go unseen by us all because they aren’t one of the pretty people.  Sadly, many of the pretty people are down right ugly as sin in the dark, their hearts and souls are rotted to the core.  Selfish, mean spirited and ‘me’ oriented, all they have is their outside shell and one day that will have been nipped and tucked to the limits and they’ll lose that physical beauty and have nothing left.

424928_375886175759726_181805898501089_1684276_1686805568_nI did find someone who finds me attractive on all levels, which blows me away.  He finds my heart, mind and soul to be a huge turn on, in addition to finding me physically attractive.  In the dark, I think it is safe to say, he probably finds me even more beautiful than I could ever be in the light because he loves who I am, not what I look like.

A friend on Facebook posted this video today which brought this blog topic about beauty in the dark back to mind.  How tragic to realize how many persons of value one has missed knowing because they didn’t measure up to a physical standard.  I teared up watching Dustin Hoffman sharing this, because there was a time I was that person others wouldn’t have even given the time of day.  The “ugly duckling”.  And I’d not trade that for the world because those times are what made me drop dead gorgeous in the dark.

What do you look like in the dark, stripped of your exterior?

Surprise And Smack Down!

I hate surprises.  Really.  And in just over 24 hours I had 2 that did not make for a happy little camper.

The first was while at work.  I was just sitting there, working away and minding my own business when suddenly my ADD kicked in and I went all “SQUIRREL!”.  But it wasn’t a squirrel, just a moment like that.  A shiny thought blew across the million other thoughts in my head while I was working on paperwork for one of the jobs we signed at work.  While thinking insurance and mortgage companies, billed verses received money,  “Hey, you just turned 50 a few weeks back, wonder if your license plates are expired on the car?“.  That is just how my brain works.  There is zero connection between what I was hard at work processing and that one, out of context thought.

I ceased to function while I thought through things, and a sinking feeling came over me.  As it is I drive way too fast and it is anyone’s guess how I have never been pulled over and cited for speeding in my 34 years on the road as a licensed driver.  And no, daddy never got me out of a ticket, I have honestly never even been pulled over.  But a speeding ticket and expired plates violation would be very uncool.  Unsure, as my menopausal brain tends to not remember anything prior to the last meal I consumed (on my better days), I wandered out to check.  FOOOOOO!  They expired in May.  Used to be that they went until the end of the month of your birthday, here in the Buckeye state (home of the Ohio State Buckeyes football team, the team that will kick Michigan’s sorry asses this football season, my dear beloved Knight!) and then the 2 week grace period set in.  Now, you have like 7 days past your birthday.  The tag still says the month, but when you go to purchase the new stickers, anything beyond the expiration date plus 7 days, will cost an additional $20.  Naturally, mine are late.

Thankful that these can be renewed online, I sat down to do just that.  Halfway through that process I needed my plate number. OMG REALLY?  Back out I went to write it down.  I have no clue what the plate number is!  So, I am now armed with that printed piece of paper showing I did in fact purchase the new stickers ($78 flipping dollars later).  I am hoping that will suffice if I should end my record streak of not being pulled over by the local law enforcement types.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe second surprise was this morning, in the bathroom.  I was busy applying my face for the day (the older one gets the harder it is to look this amazing), when in the mirror I spotted it.  Repelling downward from the ceiling, on a nearly invisible line was a rather large spider.  Now, if my son were the one standing there looking in the mirror, carefully applying guy-liner, there would have been a long line across his face and he’d have ran screaming like a girl, to the furthest point in the house.  This being the same child, mind you, who has been a deputy for 11 years now and carries a gun, tazes and is shot at by others.  But he doesn’t live in the castle so instead I was the victim of the arachnid surprise.  And the Knight was no where around either, having loaded up his horse and rode off to work.  Without even thinking I dropped the eyeliner on the sink, turned around and clapped both hands together, squashing the little 8-legged creeper.  SMACK and it’s now a smudge.  The spider ninja strikes again.  You can hold the applause, I know, I’m cool and you are amazed and jealous of my incredible talents.

Don’t mess with us Buckeye fans!

Fat Tuesday Kiddie Meal Musings

Yes I AM devouring a kid’s meal.  A McDonald’s Happy Meal to be exact.  And I will be entirely honest that the primary reason I purchased it was because of the toy in the meal, which is Hello Kitty.  Insane I know, but anything Hello Kitty, pink, or with bling and I’m on it.  The other reason is because the portions in a Happy Meal are more in line with normal eating portions, which I need to do.  They’ve decreased the fries, to a tiny container that had maybe 10 french fries, a good thing.  And added apple slices, a great thing!  And of course the toy. 🙂  This is the latest addition to my Hello Kitty collection, perched on my laptop in front of my screen.  Yes I am at work, yes that is Facebook up behind her.  I am on my lunch break, something I had to actually do today or the body count was going to start rising and I need to save the ammo for the zombie apocalypse.

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Today is Fat Tuesday, and that means the end of Mardi Gras (yes I am sporting my beads in the office today) and tomorrow being Ash Wednesday for Roman Catholics, the beginning of Lent.  I left the Catholic church in my early 20’s, and I now fall under the Reformed Baptist/Calvinist umbrella as far as my faith goes.  Most Protestant faiths do not, to my knowledge, practice Lent.  However with the right heart attitude and motive, that being for me to grow in my walk, it can be a good thing.  So, this year I’ve decided to participate.

While I am giving up something(s), I feel it is more important what I put INTO my life rather than remove.  In this case what I put in my daily life in place of what I give up, will benefit me in the long run on both a physical and spiritual front.

Beginning tomorrow, and until Easter Sunday arrives, I am giving up beer and sweets.  I’m very unhappy with my current weight and want to shed about 30 pounds by my 50th birthday.  That is in 94 days.  I have an incredible sweet tooth and LOVE junkie, fattening, sugary stuff.  And beer. I like a cold beer or 4, sometimes I will even have more.  Beer lands right next to the ice cream and chocolate…on my butt!  It must go.

In place of the junk food, sweets and beer I will drink herbal teas or water, and when hungry between meals grab a piece of fruit or raw veggies.  In the Diva Den we keep fruit and raw vegetables on hand so this won’t be a matter of not having what I should eat.  It will be a matter of curbing my desire for the crap.  I will also take a few minutes to pray and meditate on scripture when I’m feeling a strong urge to indulge in junk.  I have numerous passages I’d like to memorize, so it is win/win.

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Daryl the YUM!

Speaking of zombies, I really hope The Walking Dead isn’t planning on taking out Daryl, one of the main characters and my weekly dose of YUM!  I will be beyond ticked if that is the plan.  I do appreciate that the show is not afraid to kill off their main characters at times, but they best not be thinking about eliminating Daryl.  I want him on my team when the zombies arrive, for the protection and well yes for the eye candy factor.

The claws did not last as long as I had hoped.  A fungus formed under 3 of the nails this time, so they had to go. Such is life.  I can type a lot faster than the average person, even faster than some seriously fast folks on a keyboard, but only if I am with very short nails.  I’m kicking tail today 🙂  and that is a good thing right now.

Darn, duty calls.  We just received more work in!  Yes, this is a good thing, it means $$$ coming in and business being good rocks.  But it means lunch is over and I need to go do what I do best, manage this office like the central nervous system of a fantastic body, which this company is, and as soon as the brain (read: boss) gets back here it will be time to go into high gear mode again. I LOVE this.

When Is It T.M.I.? – Viewer Discretion Advised

By now, if you read my blogs with any regularity, you know that my life is an open book.  I write, Tweet, Facebook, FourSquare, Waze, Yelp etc, frequently.  I’ve been accused before, by a few folks who prefer more privacy in their lives, of being too open, supplying too much information.

I honestly do not think that I am too open, after all that is what social networking is about, sharing and connecting with others.  Sure, checking into FourSquare could be dangerous if your account is visible or posts to your Twitter account that is visible, but only if you are being stalked.  Just in case, I generally do not ‘check in’ until I am leaving the location, unless I am with others and don’t really feel unsafe in their company.

My Twitter account is wide open, I have nothing to hide.  If I’m going to “tweet” about someone, I won’t hide behind a private account to do it, in fact I will likely write a blog post about them.  I do know people who do this, private tweeting, all the while saying “I don’t say anything that I wouldn’t say to their face”.  That is frankly pure bullshit.  If you’d say it to their faces, your account wouldn’t be private.  But I suppose that makes some people feel better about themselves.  Me, I tweet it because I really would say it to their faces, and since those that dislike me come check it, I feel that I’m not hiding behind anything.  A ‘ho is a ‘ho, a bitch is a bitch.  However I have tried hard to sit on my pretty fingers even when I don’t want too.  It is why, after the crap spewing fan of my brother’s divorce finally stopped turning, I remained silent.  I could easily let it all fly now but innocent bystanders would be hurt.  But that is another blog post.

Anyway, when is it too much information?  I think the following crossed that line.  Now regardless of your stand on abortion, I really do think it is a private matter and that tweeting about it complete with this photo, is bottom dweller in taste.  THIS is too much information.  Just as telling the world on your Twitter or Yahoo IM status that you got a little some some (sex for the slow to grasp) is exceedingly lacking in class.  Someone suggested they think this is a bogus account, and I would certainly hope so, but if it is not, it is behavior  far beneath that of a lady.  Your thoughts/comments are certainly welcome.

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Show Me The Money!!!

In this economy we’re all about trying to trim back the budget and save some money.  And just in case you are wondering, there are only 352 shopping days until Christmas.  You’re welcome.   🙂  Come on, you KNOW I am right, the holidays will come creeping up on us all again and there we are trying to buy gifts we have the money to purchase.  Credit cards are NOT the answer.  So, we have to resort to making things, which is a great solution.  I have no issue with being creative, and making things or giving the gift of time.  I did that this year, as did so many folks I know.  I think those gifts mean more when you give them.  But even gifts we make, they cost money.  I could make everyone a nice blanket but each one is $20-$40 in yarn, and that money isn’t out back growing on a tree!

Saving money toward a goal like the holidays, is a great idea.  However sometimes we can get busy and forget, or we spend the money we intended to put away.  Recently on Facebook this image has been going around, most recently on The Prudent Wife’s page, and I thought it was just brilliant.  The idea is that for 52 weeks, you put $1 for every week it is, into the savings account.  So, week 1, which just ended, I put $1 in my account.  At the end of this week, I’ll put in $2, and so on.  At the end of 52 weeks, there would be $1378 in the account, not counting any interest that builds up.  That right there is one nice chunk of money to be able to spend.  And sure, it will be needed before the 52nd week, but so what, you will still have over $1,000 at your disposal to spend.  Then just repeat next year.  Any money left over, put it in a new account and just LEAVE IT there, or pay off/down one of your bills.

By starting off small and building slowly each week, it will be easy to manage.  No doubt, I’ll quickly notice where I’m spending empty dollars on things I don’t need that could be going into that account, and as I watch the amount rise each week, it will  motivate me to keep on putting it in there.

In addition to this, so that I can actually have the money to put in my account each week, I’ll be more closely watching my purchases as to “want vs. need”.  And I’m making  myself adhere to a 24 hour rule.  If I am out and see something I want, I will wait 24 hours before purchasing it.  Chances are really good that not only will I want it bad enough to go back out and buy it, but I will have lost that initial “OMG I HAVE TO HAVE THIS” desire.  Heck I’ll likely forget about it altogether, which would definitely mean it wasn’t needed.

I do not know where this originated to give them proper credit, but here is the chart.  Happy savings to you!!!

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If I Were The Devil…

This is the work of the late Paul Harvey.

I think it speaks well for itself, first broadcast by Mr. Harvey in 1965.  Rather disturbing how on target this all is, as I believe most all of this has or is currently happening.

I will let it speak for itself.

The Smell Of Freedom

Did you know the wind has a smell to it?  No, not the smell of a fire place drifting on the breeze, or fresh flowers, but it has it’s own, unique smell.  If you’ve ever ridden on a motorcycle you know what I mean.  It is the smell of FREEDOM.

My honey had been missing his other woman.  As in his bike.  She was ‘hospitalized’ for repairs/maintenance so we were on a borrowed bike last weekend.  She is to him what the Black Pearl is to Captain Jack Sparrow.  FREEDOM.  He got her back late this afternoon.  My sister and I pulled ourselves  together and took him to get his other baby.  He rode her for a bit to be sure all was in working in order then had me jump on board.  Ya gotta love a man that is so darn protective.  And he really is super protective of me.  We rode 41 miles back home and it was pure heaven, me and my pavement pirate.

It was while we were riding and I was wrapped around him that I realized that his scent was back to normal.  See, he smells of leather and the wind.  His spirit is like mine, free and cannot and will  not be  nailed down.   Sitting behind him, my body up against his, my face next to his head on his shoulder, I recognized it.  Leather and ‘freedom’ are the scent of my man.  And it settles a peace over me when I inhale it.  After a day of fighting with an upset stomach and migraine,  something about the throttle therapy takes that away.  Well okay, not entirely, as some of the way I feel right now is just pure exhaustion.  But it did ease up things a good deal.

I am so looking forward to every mile to come.

Kreativ – I’m Feeling and Passing On The Love!

I received a blog award today and I love that, love when others in the Blogdom enjoy my writing.

First I must, yes, it’s a must, post the rules!

So, here are the rules:
1. Thank & link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Answer the form questions below.
3. Share ten random facts / thoughts about yourself.
4. Nominate (at least) 7 other blogs for the Kreativ Blogger Award.

SO first things first!  A BIG thank-you to my fellow blog bud, Susi, over at Boca Frau.  She finds me Kreativ, and I like it!  Not your ordinary spelling, rather unique, like the bloggers we shall pass this on too.

Now, for the form questions:

Favorite Song  I honestly don’t know that I have one.  Kinda stuck on an Amy Grant song at the moment, “Better Than A Hallelujah”.

Favorite Dessert  I wish it were so easy as to name just one.  If it involves dark chocolate, it’s my favorite.

What ticks me off  People that cannot seem to locate the proper place to put their shopping cart at the store.  They wander the entire super store and then cannot walk an extra 30 feet to park that puppy where it belongs.

When I’m upset, I…Generally withdraw and get quiet while I sort through things.  Sometimes I write, and much of that never gets published, the writing is my way of venting.

Favorite pet(s) Personally? I have one, my cat, Pixel.  Me, the reformed cat hater.  But back in the married days, my daughter’s Yorkie, Penny, who will always reign number one with me.

Black or White Black because it’s probably one of my best colors as a blond and a red head.

Biggest Fear  Seriously, I have several.  I suppose the worst one is fire.

Everyday attitude My glass is neither half empty, or half full, it is FULL to over flowing.  I seek the  joy in all things.

What is perfection?  Being completely comfortable with who you imperfectly are and accepting yourself as such.

My guilty pleasures – Reading, napping, dark chocolate, any favorite comfort foods, a good glass of wine.

Okay on to the 10 random facts about me.  Hmm….trying to think of things my readers don’t know just yet…..

  1. I like to mix my corn in my mashed potatoes.
  2. I love dark chocolate or coconut M&Ms with beer or wine.
  3. I’m really OCD about a crooked picture, I always adjust them no matter where I am.
  4. I hate clowns.  Never liked them, they totally creep me out.
  5. As soon as I can afford it, I will be driving a HOT pink truck or SUV.  With the Avon logo on it.
  6. I love lighthouses!  All time favorite is the one on Cape Hatteras.
  7. I’m a not-quite-closeted Hello Kitty freak.
  8. I’ve often desired to pierce my eyebrow…still might do it.
  9. Turning 29 bothered me SO much more than turning 30.  Needless to say, I feel the same about 49 and 50.
  10. While I know it isn’t healthy, and by trying to make it more so they kinda ruined it, Captain Crunch with crunch berries is my favorite junky cereal.

And now, to pass on the love and give this award to 7 bloggers I feel are very deserving of it, in no particular order as they are all awesome:

The Cinful one herself, over at Cinnamon’s Spicy Life.

The beautiful Angie at Martinis Needed.  May I one day find her that 5 foot metal chicken.

Nota, at Nota 101, who will hopefully have her blog revamped and public again soon, she is worth the moments to read any day!

Kimberly at Truly Simply Pink, on top of being one of my favorite bloggers, she loves the color pink!

Totally awesome, cool dad, over at Dad Unmasked for very fun look at single fatherhood.

Nani over at Chronicles of Nani, I love her blog and her play list on it!

Marti of Marti’s Musings because she has a great blog AND a great name. Second time, at least, she is getting this but I think she is deserving of it!

Late Night Flight Of The Nose Moth

Last night I put my sorry butt in bed at 9:30, loaded for bear on Mucinex DM and 2 beers.  Might as well make those strange, drug induced dreams more fun, right?  In addition to this cold that has come back. Again. For. The. Fourth. Time.  I am also in the midst of menopausal like crap of keeping vampire hours, hot flashes and night sweats.  Picture this:  me, in a long sleeved white t-shirt, red fleece jammie bottoms, lime green sport bra, no makeup because I use a skin care regimen and wash my face nightly, nose running off my face, lip balm on the end of my nose to aid in easing raw spots from blowing my snot filled nasal passages clear, sweating from the INSIDE out now and then and I know, I’m one sexy, hot mess right now!  The final touch of this “I’m sexy and I know it” visual, a nasal strip to help open those nostrils up to function as they are meant too…for BREATHING!  No hating ladies, I know you are jealous of this seductive, sassy look, and men are holding themselves back.  What can I say, when ya got it, flaunt it baby! (Admit it, all you boys are dying to curl up next to this hot mama)

I usually turn on my electric blanket before bed to warm up the sheets.  Last night I was actually cold when I went to bed so I did just that, but on low so as to only keep the chill out.  I left the comforter over the blanket, hopefully not some fire hazard as I think I have enough excitement in my life to dodge without adding to it my big, lumpy, lily white ass hanging over a firefighters shoulder, being carried down a ladder from my bedroom window, those sexy jammie pants half burned off of me.  I turned on the Sound Scapes channel on Music Choice on my television.  This provides a bit of ambient light to the room, and some soft, yet sometimes strange, music to lull me to sleep.  My cat seems to come under the spell of the music, as she is curled up, head upside-down on the end of the bed.  She kinda looked like road kill, contorted position, eyes partially open and all.  That probably should have served as a warning but under this spicy, auburn do there are natural blond roots.

I slipped into the hug of my sheets, blanket and comforter, turned off the light and wrapped around my teddy bear.  Just as I was about to drift off to sleep I started coughing, my throat irritated from the crap running out of my head.  SIGH…damn water bottle is empty.  I crawl back out, head to the kitchen and fill my water bottle back up then go back and repeat the entry mode to the bed.  Thankfully  teddy bears never complain, they are the perfect man to sleep with, girls.  No rude pokes in the back when you snore, no comments about your morning breath because they cannot smell it.  And they never wake up wanting a  little ‘some some’ when you look like the Swamp Thing and have the muck mouth to confirm your origins.  Mine tells me I look gorgeous no matter what I might resemble.

Any strange dreams I had during the night were not noted so I don’t remember them other than knowing they were odd.  I was not about to take time to jot a note in my phone memo pad and risk waking up just enough to not go back to sleep.  I drifted back out to la-la land to the chanting in a piece playing on the music channel that I vaguely recall thinking  it sounded something like a witch doctor summoning demonic apparitions in the jungle but that is as much as I retained.  And  that very well could have been my cat stretching, yawning a meow and repositioning on the bed, hard to be certain.

I thought for sure I would get a great night of rest, but my vampire hours returned at 3:03am.

Vampires wake slowly from their slumber, trust me I know this as I am, it would seem, of that species.  I’m a hybrid, however, I don’t have fangs and I don’t need blood to survive, but I do have the up all night and way pale complexion of the dead features.  If you’ve ever read a truly good book about them (try Christine Feehan’s Dark Series) you know that vampires sleep the sleep of the dead.  Ask my ex-husband, he’ll tell you I sleep like a corpse.  You can stick your foot in my back and shove me out of the bed to the floor and I will go right on snoring.  Just like a Carpathian gone to ground, no heart beating, lifeless and all.  It’s a special super power of mine.

Shortly after 3am, just like life beginning to flow through the body of the fanged ones, from deep within my body it started, heat like the life force of blood, from my core it oozed outward toward the surface.  I woke very slowly, as those that sleep like the dead do, vaguely aware of the chanting again in another song (I really need to switch stations, those voices and the chimes gotta go).  Before I even opened my eyes I became aware of the cause of my arousal from my nightmares in Dawn of The Living Dead Land, night sweats.  Beads of moisture were starting to form around the backs of my knees, neck, in the bend of my elbows and along my hair line.  And like the blood suckers looking for a dark cave at sunrise, I sought after the cold spots in my bed where my now over heated body had not been laying.  I flipped over the pillows going for the cool, other side against my face.  Beads of sweat started running between my boobs, (there is that sexy stuff again, damn I’m something) and down the small of my back.  I pushed the covers all off, laying there in the t-shirt and bra, hair growing damp and cursing under my breath at the cat who meowed protest at the covers landing on her.

It was about this time I became aware of the Nose Moth.

You will recall that I went to bed wearing a nasal strip to assist my ability to breathe.  Under normal circumstances, trying to remove one of these contraptions will result in the first layer of skin going with it.  However it would seem that cement they call adhesive is no match for the perspiration from night sweats.  Little by little I could feel the strip releasing itself from the sides of my nose, almost in an identical pattern on either side.  It kinda tickled which made me wiggle  my nose a bit, only helping to free the ends.  Suddenly it ‘popped’ and the little strips, like delicate wings carried it upward, with a majestic arc into the air it flew, on it’s first and last flight, the nose moth.  OH the beauty of what happens in the dark of night.  Okay so it more or less plopped off my nose and onto the black pillow case next to my face, but it sounds so much better the other way, don’t you think?  After that it did in fact fly, because I flicked it off the pillow and onto the vanity, causing the cat to get up and go investigate to see what had just landed there and if it was edible.

I gave up sleeping at that point, wandered to the bathroom and back, then checked Facebook, Twitter and a few other social media addictions before I settled in to watch the clock tick off the next few hours, with damp, matted hair, damp t-shirt and bra, and now clogged nasal passages.

I’m sexy and I know it! jiggle jiggle jiggle jiggle jiggle yeah! (FYI fat doesn’t wiggle, it jiggles)