12/26 ~ A Special Day


Christmas 2018 is in the history books. And tonight I boxed it up and put it all away. This day is special because it marks the end of a major first.

I didn’t just ‘get through it’. I embraced the whole season, all of the emotions including my grief. I enjoyed every gathering, and laughed a lot. But at the end of those days I also cried a bit missing my mama. So tonight, the day after Christmas, I packed up the ornaments, took down all decorations, packed it all, and the tree, back into boxes and put it away. I’m done with it all this year. My love of all things Christmas are still alive and well, but I’m ready to move on from this ‘first’ and push ahead. 2018 was not a bad year, while it held a great deal of sadness, it also was full of joy. But I’m glad it is almost over and there is brand new one full of opportunities ahead.

Me and mom our last Christmas with her, 12/24/17

I LOVE Christmas, it is my favorite holiday. Probably because we have 4 or 5 weeks of the season, decorations, music and excitement. But this year it had a little black cloud over it, a sense of sadness because there was this empty hole in everything. Mom was missing. She wasn’t in the pictures this year, her laughter wasn’t heard. No hugs, no Merry Christmas, no pecan pie. And that was all so very hard. I missed her so much and so did everyone else.

This day also holds special meaning to me as it is the day my son and his wife celebrate their first son, Collin. He is 6 today and this Nana is trying to figure out where the time has gone. He is my son’s mini-me, a carbon copy of his daddy. Humor, personality, looks…he is all my son like a re-run of a favorite show. But he is also unique and special.

It is also special because I gave birth 39 years ago to a beautiful baby girl, and gave that wonderful miracle a life with a mom, dad and big brother through adoption. I’ve never regretted that decision and it is why I am so opposed to abortion, I KNOW the waiting list is long and hard for those who cannot have a biological child. Happy Birthday E!

And none of these things would have happened had it not been on this day, in 1942, that Fred married Martha, and then had a wonderful, beautiful baby girl of their own in September of 1943…my mom, also named Martha, starting an amazing family. When my daughter got married my mom loaned her (something borrowed) Martha’s wedding ring for the ceremony because she did not yet have her wedding band. When mom died in April the ring was given to me, and I immediately gave it to my daughter. Mom knew that was my intention and it warmed her heart. I know my baby girl treasures it.

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