Monday Memos


Monday MemosDear Penny,

I love you, little doggie.  Really I do.  I know that you think your job is to protect me from all things you feel are a danger to me.  It really isn’t that I do not appreciate this, as you are just trying to do your job.  You are a working girl now, you go to work every day with mommy.  But we need to talk and come to an understanding.  Every truck that goes down the road is not our enemy.  We are safe, inside the building, they are out on the street.  They are a necessary evil in life.

The UPS and FedEx delivery folks are also not only NOT our enemies, they bring us packages making the workday kind of feel like Christmas.  When you jump up and down at the gate to my office, barking like we’re under a zombie attack, I realize you think you are scary stuff.  They are laughing at you and not at all afraid.  You bounce when  you bark, it is amusing but not frightening.  It is also deafening and we’d all appreciate it if you would not carry on like this.

Love,

Mommy

~*~

Dear Alarm Clock,

I know that we have a long history, one that is bitter sweet.  Bitter in that you are rude and obnoxious, a most unwelcome sound each weekday morning.  Sweet in that without you I’d not be on time for work and that would eventually cost me the job as they are rather fond of me at the office.  This little game we play each day where I click your snooze button and you go all cute and silent for 9 minutes, while a tough habit to break, needs to stop.   Blame Darren Hardy and his book, The Compound Effect.  You get one snooze hit from now on, that is all.  And those 9 minutes will no longer be used to fall back to sleep but rather to greet the morning with things I am thankful for, someone to pray for and a quick assessment mentally of my goals for the day.  It’s been a nice arrangement, pushing your button several times each day, but we’re stopping.  You’ll get over it, so will I!

Sincerely,

I need more focus and less snoozing marathons

~*~

 

Dear UPS & FEDEX,

You are late!  I am chomping at the bit to get my items and where the heck are you?  I purposely had the items shipped to the office so I could dive in over lunch but that isn’t going to happen as you have not shown your faces.  I’d know, because the dog would alert me, and you haven’t even been on our street.  I suppose it is possible the packages won’t come today but really they SHOULD!  Make it happen!

Regards,

A very impatient woman

 

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