Monday Memos


Monday MemosDear Ritzy Old Broad,

Driving down the highway with your dog in  your lap, partially blocking your view, is just plan DUMB!  There is no way you could possibly see in the driver’s side mirror to change lanes with your dog filling up half the window from the dash toward the rear of the car.  I’m very thankful that I was 2 lanes over out of your reach.  If you put half the amount of thought into your safety, and others, as you do choosing the bazzillion blings you had on, maybe you’d realize how dangerous it is for your pooch to be between you and the airbag, should you wreck and it deploy.

The Responsible Dog Owner (mine rides shot gun and stays put)

~*~

Dear Skyler,

Mama loves you, my dear little fuzz ball.  Your long fur, your chocolate-orange eyes, and the way you sit there with the tip of your tongue sticking out while you drool all over yourself sometimes.  I am convinced you are mentally touched, ‘special’ as my daughter would say.  I also understand that being at the vet’s office is a bit traumatic for you.  However, next time you bite into my hand, refusing to let go, do not be shocked if you find yourself learning to fly.

You loving staff member – the one who feeds you

~*~

Dear Summer,

I miss you. Very very much.  I’m sorry about whatever has come between us, please come back.

Possibly your biggest fan

~*~

Dear Penny,

I love you, my wonderful little pooch.  But let me make myself very clear (again).  The cats eat cat food.  Dogs eat dog food.  Any consumption of the cat’s food seems to cause issues in your digestive track.  In fact, this most recent time has resulted in my having to stand in the cold rain while you rid your poor little system of the diarrhea brought on by eating what is not meant for your sensitive insides. All. Day. Long.  It’s gross and it makes you stink.  And after the kitten’s bout with it, well frankly I’d like to write about something other than my critter’s green-apple-quick-steps if you don’t mind.

Your adoring owner

~*~

Dear DVR Box,

Thank you for just being you.  The task you perform means I can now go curl up under my blanket and watch last night’s episode of Downton Abbey, which I hear was loaded with drama.  I cannot wait to snuggle in, tea in hand, diffuser filling the room with relaxing essential oils, my teddy bear, jammies and whichever pets decide to come join me.

Thinks killing off Matthew was just WRONG

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2 thoughts on “Monday Memos

  1. I can’t understand why pet owners would let their pets wander all over a moving vehicle. We put our children securely in car seats, until a certain age, and then seat belts. Do you love your pet any less? Keep them safe for goodness sakes. My kid cried at being put in the car seat too at first – but its for their protection. oye.
    Matthew!!! oh terrible. just awful…and WHY???! I was near heart broken. But I can’t say anymore, because in Canada, I’ve already seen all of Season 4. There is much drama coming! And oh….it’s so sad. my heart…again! Ack. this.show.

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