My inner Diva is all curled up in her big arm-chair, feet on the matching ottoman, wearing her favorite jeans and long sleeved shirt (hey it’s chilly), sipping a cup of coffee, humming Celine Dion’s “Power Of Love” and smiling her smug, “see, I told ya so” smile. She has been telling me for the past 3 years to just be patient, and the perfect man for me, my own Knight in shining armor, would find me. After trying several times to push the proverbial square peg into a round hole when it came to relationships, I finally got it through my ever thick head and stubborn ways and stopped looking. I was on the dating site out of amusement and looking for insanity to write about, never expected to actually find anyone. Okay in all honesty, he found me, emailed me, and I took a chance and replied.
My heart is out from behind all the protective walls I had so carefully built to protect it, curled up next to my inner Diva’s legs, laying on her tummy, feet in the air crossed at the ankles, chin on her hands watching me with a dreamy look on her face.
My inner child is doing cartwheels and back hand springs.
And as the song says, sometimes frightened by it all, and yet ready to go there. This is so different than anything I’ve experienced in the past.
None of the “I suppose I could learn to tolerate ______.” Or “I could learn to live with _______.” No, this time it’s all “yes, yes that is very nice” and “perfect fit, perfect balance”. All the way down to the core, our faith.
Sexy, mischievous eyes, killer smile, kind and gentle heart, hard working, great dad, awesome sense of humor, and normal. No messed up, screwed up, shattered childhood or past that needs years of therapy to heal. Just refreshingly normal. And with SO much in common.
Yes, I am walking on sunshine, yet with my feet firmly planted on the ground. My heart is all in, but so is my brain.
We both feel our best relationship is still within us, waiting to be made into something amazing.
Now, I’m sitting here in his house, sipping coffee while I wait for him to get home from work, and running through so many ‘hypotheticals’ in my head and knowing, from the tips of my toes to my darkening roots on top of my head, that I’m so very much in love, “and don’t it feel good!”