A Soothing Balm For My Soul


I was laying in bed this morning checking my phone and pondering life with a pre-coffee brain.  Yes, this can be very dangerous, but today it went well.

I don’t recall the dream I was having in any detail just before my cat landed on the bed, scaring the snot out of me and waking me up, but the song that was playing in the dream was still in my head.  Helen Reddy’s, You And Me Against The World.  While it was released 10 years before he was born, for some reason when my son was little it was pretty popular on one of the radio stations I was frequently tuned too.  The song immediately takes me back to my apartment, sitting in my “Morticia” chair (those wicker ones like Morticia sits in at the beginning of “The Adams Family” tv show) with my son curled up in my lap.  He was all of 18 months old, with big blue eyes and shaggy blond hair that needed a trim, but I didn’t have the heart to clip off his baby curls just yet.  The song was on and I was singing it to him, and if I close my eyes I can still feel him snuggled up to me, completely unaware of the troubles that surrounded us at the time.

Music fascinates me with its power to transport us to another time and place, pulling memories of events long ago recorded in the brain and forgotten.  Different smells and tastes will pull open various file drawers in our mind too, and with those recollections the full emotion that was felt at the time is easily recalled as well.

Roast beef and chunks of potato – I’m at Grandma B’s with aunts, uncles and cousins…everywhere!  Smarties candy and mint iced tea in a colored, aluminum cup will take me there too.

Supertramp’s song, Take The Long Way Home comes on and I am 16yo, in the maternity home, out to there pregnant.  My black and white radio sitting on my desk, which faces out of the window of my room, and I’m working on my algebra home work totally NOT understanding it.

And Can It Be is a great hymn, and every time I hear it or sing it in church I’m back on the second pew at Bible Chapel, my ex is standing by the piano, singing it solo for the special music portion of the service, and his voice is cracking as he fights tears, the words impacting him.

The smell of cinnamon brings thoughts of Christmas that are just too numerous to list.

Orange slice gum drops and I’m back on Annie Erdman’s back steps getting our daily candy treat from her, “quota” as she called it, along with my siblings and some of the neighbor kids.  Those orange, candy peanuts land me there too on the gray painted surface of her back porch.

Dustin Lynch comes on the radio, singing Cowboys and Angels and I’m at Sunset Grill, under the stars, sipping a beer and enjoying a burger with Ralph.  Suddenly he is on his feet and pulls me to mine, and we make our own dance floor right there by our table, dancing to ‘our song’.

Today music is a soothing balm for my troubled soul.  I have a wonderful CD from my friend, Jane, that she gave me when I first came back to church a few years ago, The Shadow Of Your Wings by Fernando Ortega.  Her son sang one of the songs on a Sunday morning to open the worship service. This collection of music is a lot of Hymns in arrangements that are very different than the originals, as well as many scripture passages put to song.  I can meditate on God’s Word through most of these songs, very powerful the impact on my heart right now.

One song in particular stands out as I’m writing, the words are from Psalm 19:14 and Philippians 4:8

Psalm 19:14

New King James Version (NKJV)

14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

Philippians 4:8

New King James Version (NKJV)

14 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things arepure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

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