Tuesday Coffee Chat ~ Lessons Learned
What’s the most important lesson you have learned thus far in life? Did you “get it” straight away, or did it take a few tries? Share your wisdom.
We all want it, we do everything we can think of to have it.
And yet for many, even once they get what they want, they aren’t happy.
Because it isn’t, as the sign says, a destination, it is very much a way of life.
It is not a lesson I picked up over night. I have gradually figured it all out as I have matured and grown older.
No person is going to make me happy. I’ve been married twice now, the first time just a few years, the second 22 years. In that second marriage, despite my husband’s faults (believe me there were many and some glaring!), I made the choice to love him when he was not a lovable guy, and to stick it out. I chose to be happy. Funny thing, when I made a decision to love him and be happy, I was! In my mind he was the end all of men because that was for me what I believed my spouse should be. And I was blindly and blissfully happy because I decided to be. Sadly it did not go both ways.
When I ended up getting divorced because he wanted out, it about destroyed me emotionally and mentally. I have struggled to come to grips with how anyone can boot someone out of their life that stood by them when they were one ugly, mean S.O.B. and carried the weight of the world on her shoulders when he could not. How when it came time to roll up the sleeves and dig his heels in for me, he bailed. But in all that mental and emotional train wreckage I made the decision to be HAPPY! Every morning I crawled out of bed and put a smile on my face and told myself it was the best day EVER and that I was HAPPY! And you know what? I WAS! It didn’t mean that being tossed aside didn’t hurt, and it didn’t mean that there weren’t days I behaved like a horse’s ass through the divorce and immediately afterward. But I still kept telling myself that I was happy and went about life doing things that I enjoyed and made me happy.
It is why I know that I don’t need another person in my life or lots of things to make me happy. I’m flying this life plane solo and I don’t really have much in the way of possessions. My happiness comes from inside. Some days it is a bit more effort that must be put forth to put on my happy face, and there are days when I slip into a funk and might even hop on my blog and lash out irrationally. But whatever splinter made its way in to cause that, I work quickly to dig it out and be happy again. That decision is the seed that takes root that morning and before long I’m singing (not too loudly so as not to scare anyone) and dancing (like no one is watching) and I am HAPPY!
My happiness is my responsibility, and it is all part of the journey, not the end destination.
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