The Dating Diaries ~ Lowering The Drawbridge, Opening The Gate
First, I must take a moment to thank someone. He is military, in the reserves, and partially responsible for my current happiness. We’ll call him GI James. See, I met him one evening recently for dinner. At no point through the night did he say anything but positive stuff. He was so sure we fit together, talked about getting off the sites and onto the road together. Which while it was nice, threw red flags up all over for me. Then suddenly, once he was home, his tune changed. He decided I don’t look like my photos on the dating sites, that they were deceptive because they weren’t all taken in the past month. I had never had a single man tell me that! In fact, every single one that met me thought I was dead on my photos, and I had more than a few that wanted to run off and get married, I was their ‘dream girl’. I took the step of posting the link to one of my vlogs on my dating profiles so that anyone that had any doubt could see me and hear me on a video, to remove any thought that I am not wh0 my pictures say.
This all just rocked my foundation. Especially when the Superhero told me that I am far better looking in person, and that was echoed over and over again from many men I have dated since getting on the sites. But it only takes one person to crack your self confidence. It was almost enough to keep me from going out with the man I will refer to as Count Dracula.
I agreed to meet up with The Count but was nervous as hell! We’d been texting and talking and there was serious chemistry there, but in the back of my mind that one negative experience from GI James was eating at me. I always strive to be honest, and I felt my integrity was on the line here. I’m not using my airbrushed photos, the studio stuff on the dating sites, I wanted to keep it real. I even went back to a few of the guys that I had dated and remained friends with, asking them to please, be honest about things. They all said I really look like my pics, and that GI James was a moron that was likely too intimidated once he met me and saw I was real and a very strong woman personality wise. I searched for more recent photos (I hate having my picture taken so it wasn’t easy) and put those up, blocking faces of those in the pictures with me. But there was no need to be worried at all…..
I call him Count Dracula, or the Count, because he loves Halloween. Seriously gets into it, and in my mind, while looking in his eyes, I could see him all decked out in the white shirt and cape, against that dark skin and hair. His eyes carry playful mischief and they pulled me in, I couldn’t easily look away. It was interesting to me that he looked inside me, to my soul, but didn’t push against the barriers I have up to protect myself. He is only the second man to ever tell me my eyes change color with my emotions. He noted that at times when I was very passionate about something, or blushing, that they go from gray to deep, dark blue. Oh, and he remembered something I had said I like, and brought me one. 🙂
My personal space and my gut instincts are two very important things to me. I have never been a fan of strangers touching me, and face it, even if you have been texting and talking for weeks, you are still strangers. Many of my dates likely picked up on this when they would try to put a hand on mine and I stiffened. It is just a natural, protective reaction I have no control over. With every date I also noted that I lacked that spark I was looking for, the one that was just there with the 3 men that I have truly loved in my life.
When at one point The Count took my hand across the table, my reaction caught me off guard…there was no resistance, no barrier of protection thrown up that would have caused me to stiffen. It felt very natural to have my hand in his. Then, he did something unexpected when he left the table for a moment, he leaned over and kissed me. Again, when others would have felt me shut down, the exact opposite happened and my protective instincts shut down. Everything just felt SO right, so open and easy. That spark was there, with intensity. We shared our dreams but it wasn’t an “I want, I will”, more like “when we, we will”. The last time I felt anything close to this was when I met the former prince, and I ended up married to him! This man unknowingly holds one of those magic keys that unlocks the gate of secret garden.
We’re setting records for texts, been through about 200 questions and answers as they come to mind, and we feel like teenagers!
My head is spinning, my heart is wide open, the drawbridge has been lowered. The Count has one of those keys that have been referenced…I’ve opened up the gate to my secret garden and invited The Count to come inside and sit with me on the bench to see if he is truly happy and comfortable here….and I don’t mind admitting it is all just a bit scary. But yet rather amazing and exciting.
The Marvelous Secret Garden Part 1