A Long Forgotten Note….
It wasn’t all that long ago…just this past December. I was preparing my heart to return to church after about a 5 or 6 year hiatus, the prodigal child was going back home where she knew she belonged. I had met with my friend, Jane, for dinner at Chipotle. She contacted me after a blog post of mine mentioned her, one of very few times her son followed a link on my Facebook page and read something I wrote. He showed it to her, she contacted me and we met. It was a hard meeting at first for me, the past slammed into me, the pain of all those years of missing my beloved friend and sister in Christ. She encouraged me to come back to my home, back to my church family, and suggested some passages to read in my Bible.
I opened my old, trusted friend, turning pages and looking through the countless little pieces of paper and photos I have stuffed in the flap under the cover on either end. Lots of sweet memories there to be found. I started paging through to the chapter I had promised to read every night until Sunday morning, when I would return to my church home. The pages fell open where a note was stuck between them. It was a white, heart shaped piece of paper, just small enough to fit inside without folding. Edged in pink and red flowers, it was from a once special pad of paper we used to write each other little notes. I recognized the hand writing…it made my heart stop. Before I could stop myself I read the words….
It didn’t rain, YIPPIE!!!
Make a grocery list, see you later,
I Love You,
I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach, and realized I was crying as tears dripped down on to the piece of paper. See, he called me ‘Doll’, I called him ‘Prince Charming’, or PC for short. He was happy it hadn’t rained so he could go mow his many accounts that were over due from so much rain that spring. It was a note he had written to me, after we had hit a major bump and went through counseling, and were so much in love again…
The note was from about 6 years prior to that moment I sat reading it again, a moment 4 months after our divorce was final.
I realized then just how much I still loved him, and how much it still hurt.
Like our marriage, the note has been disposed of…tossed in a trash can, hopeful that some of the pain would go with it.
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