As you may recall, I had been dialoging with a reader, named Chuck, who sought out my advice because I am
a possible person of interest to him so damned brilliant, about asking me some doubtlessly magnificent chick out on a date. He then took a hiatus for a reconnection with a past love, but he has returned to the dating scene and is back to corresponding with me via comments on blog posts. He recently commented on my Letter To My Future Husband about our wedding vows. As is the case when Chuck leaves me a comment, I’m going to respond, because we have such fun doing this!
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Dear Marvelous, Sexy, Wonderfully Sweet Marti, (artistic liberty taken again)
So when you say those vows… try not to blink uncontrollably, as my 2nd and 3rd wife did (she was the same person… I shoulda known), as the uncontrollable blinking shows the whole sincerity part is already lost. But what do you do then? What do you do when you realize at the last possible moment you are alone at the alter. You move forward in your new marriage saying I can change that… that’s what I did anyway. From “for better…” to “…in health”.
Seriously though, those are some great vows… while I’ve not lived them perfectly myself, I have lived them and I do have those expectations for my future. What’s interesting about vows is that many people look at them as if they are just words in a sentence when it comes to their day to day lives. The concept of belonging to one another takes on a negative connotation… my future bride will read “Love and Respect”. And she will understand my basic need for respect as I understand her basic need for love. Sometimes I do not know if I’ll ever be up for that again, but if I found her, The One, all those doubts would fade away. I’m absolutely certain that the doubts I have in others, that I carry on my shoulders like weights of gold vaulted up for protection, a sword held high and a shield held out will fall with a resounding crash to the earth and I will be whole again. Oh yeh, another thing that will always be certain about my bride, she will like watching Red’s games on TV with me at sports bars and stuff!
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Dear Handsome Stranger,
Ah yes, those moments at the alter when everything in us screams run like hell yelling “no way, not happening, I MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT”, and yet we stand there and say “I do”. It sucks donkey jewels when we don’t listen to our inner voice, doesn’t it? Usually they are costly lessons, either of paying dearly for sticking with it or for letting go of the best thing that will ever happen to us. (many are the men that
are thankful regret not hanging on to me, as I indeed am the worst nightmare best thing that can happen to any male of the species!)
Maybe we should get together and compare notes (strictly for research purposes of course)? I know of some great sports bars that happen to air the Cincinnati Reds games.
Oh..and by chance is that book available on Kindle?? 😉
Your Favorite Go-To Girl With A “Make them whole again” Glue Gun,