I read an interesting blog today, How Well Do You Know Who You Are Dating?, that made me stop and think…just how well DID I know some of the men in my life in the past that I not only dated for a stretch of time, but slept next to at night, and married. Sharing all aspects of my life with them, yet never bothering to check into their past before I put myself in potential harms way wasn’t real smart for a cop’s kid. I know better!
There are plenty of horror stories that could be CSI or Forensic Files episodes, but they don’t all end in blood baths. Some are just cases of being taken for every dime of savings, or finding oneself in a relationship with a violent person or obsessive stalker. Everything can seem so right and yet be so wrong. We either miss the warning signs or the other person is so skilled a manipulator that they can cover their negative character traits for a time to wrap us around their heart and little finger.
So should we conduct a background check on potentials? Certainly asking to see the current divorce decree isn’t out of the question is it? For that matter all of them if there have been multiple marriages. And what about those criminal background checks, run them? How about credit checks while at it, much can be gleaned that way as well.
Multiple OVIs could indicate a serious drinking problem.
Domestic assault charges scream RUN LIKE HELL now!
Bad credit history could indicate someone that doesn’t handle finances very well or might even have a gambling problem.
Lengthy turn over in employment history could be a sign of someone that is very unstable and unreliable.
Personally my life is a pretty open book. I don’t even have a parking ticket to my name, so I am more than willing to have any serious potential mates check me out. I’ve been finger printed, have had a background check ran to do foster parenting, no skeletons lurking in my closets. But what of the men out there wanting to date me? If things went in a serious direction, how willing might they be to have me hire someone to nose around in their past? I wonder….