Dear So and So….
It is that time of year again when we open windows to sleep. So, in advance of the coming late Spring and into Summer, we need to talk. I don’t know why you insist on collecting the trash on our street at 4:30am, but surely we can come to some kind of compromise regarding the loud radio and slamming cans around while out there. I get that you might not like your job, or being at work so early. But let me remind you that YOU chose this career, not me. I opted for one that allows me to sleep until 6:30 and I would thank you to keep in mind that while you are outside in the street waking the dead, I am trying to get my beauty rest. For the sake of the health and safety of all I must come in contact with on Fridays, KEEP IT DOWN OUT THERE!
One mean, wicked bitch if I don’t get enough sleep!
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Dear Marvelous Offspring, of Whom I Am SO Proud and Love So Much,
YES! That really is what I want for Mother’s Day. That is it, very simple, 1.5 hours of your life for one morning. It is the least you can do to show how much you love the woman that went through 14 hours of intense, painful suffering to bring you each into this world, then lost countless hours of sleep that I can never get back, and after all the times I was pooped on, peed on, puked on and otherwise ran through the mill raising you. And I still lose sleep praying for and worrying about you both! (guilt intended)
Thanks with so much love,