When Life Pushes The Pause Button…


I’m in completely unfamiliar waters of late.

Not sailing them, more like anchored in the middle of  no where.

Nothing on the horizon in any direction I turn.

Calm waters, almost perfectly still.

No breeze, no waves, no….anything.

No sense of which way is forward or backward, just total sitting still.

Paused.

It is as if someone pushed the hold button on my life.

But without the benefit of the freeze frame to help me figure out what is coming next.

Just the water and the sky and me. No sun, no light, no darkness…just nothing but stillness.

No peace and tranquility.

No stress or pressure.

The vessel sitting still.

Nothingness.

Sitting still, waiting.

It is honestly a bit scary.

Limbo.

No children to raise, no significant other, no one ‘needs’ me, no ministry, no deadlines, no reports to write, no plane to catch, just paused.

In a holding pattern.

Not unstable, but not stable.

Just…breathing.

Waiting…

Wondering….

When the wind moves again, what will the horizon bring?

Desert?

Rocky terrain?

Lush, beautiful, paradise?

Will sailing toward it be in sunny weather or violent storms?

Calm or turbulent?

No answers.

Just nothing….

Paused.

It is more unnerving than anything I’ve ever experienced.

Frozen in a moment in time….

I don’t like it.

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