On My Soap Box – Long Live Cap’n Crunch!


There is a rumor going around that Cap’n Crunch is going away, because the government is pressuring companies to market healthier cereals.

Okay NOW I’m pissed!  Flaming wrap around pissed in fact.  DEAR  UNCLE  SAM,  GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CEREAL BOWL!!!!!

Seriously, dear First Lady and others on capital  hill,  I am sure your intentions are good,  to get healthier things marketed to children, but let me remind you of something.  I grocery shop, weekly, along with the other Divas  here in the Den.  I have yet to witness a child handling the family grocery shopping.  Oh sure, kids will whine and beg (ah the memories of being little) but ultimately the decisions are made by the parents.

I am a mom.  My kids are adults now, 20 and 26 years old.  They ate Cap’n Crunch, among other unhealthy cereals.  Both are amazingly intelligent,  one being established in a law enforcement career now for 8 years, the other about to graduate  from college.  I am sure there were doubts about their future as their father and I home schooled them (*GASPS HEARD FROM THE READER COMMUNITY*).  Not only did they manage to make it to adulthood well socialized (it is absolutely amazing how much more social life a kid has when they lack hours of evening homework and can play sports, attend youth group and be involved in countless activities) but neither went to jail and both have  impressively high IQs.  Both are employed, helping to keep millions sitting on their asses on welfare watching 52 inch plasma TVs and eating bon bons.   I  know, right,  all this from idiot,  lower middle class parents that managed  without the government telling them how and when to flush the toilet.  Wonders never cease!  No village needed here, we raised them and are very proud of their ability to THINK FOR THEMSELVES!!!!  Okay maybe  with the exception of the daughter purchasing a $250 crystal studded bra, but hey we all have moments of mental weakness.  Please, don’t judge her, it was HER money, she EARNED it the old fashioned way, with a job and not a welfare check.  Shocking, I know!

As parents we made the purchasing decisions in our home.  Certainly we did buy those horrid, nasty, bad for you sugary cereals  sometimes, but we also made countless healthy and well balanced meals.  We are,  despite what the government wants us to believe, rather capable of making our own decisions and choices regarding what we eat.  We know that over consumption of crap food equals fat, unhealthy bodies.  We are very aware that if our kids sit inside and watch TV or play on the computer all day, they get NO exercise and the result again is a fat, unhealthy body.  And while  I’m at it, as parents we are also very aware that too much exposure to tanning beds or tanning outside CAN cause skin cancer.  BUT THEY ARE OUR CHILDREN!!!  We don’t need your input to raise them!  Believe it or not we are not living under rocks, we know what is healthy and not healthy.  Kids learn this stuff early on in school.  If we want to eat Cap’n Crunch Cereal and feed it to our kids, THAT IS OUR DECISION TO MAKE!  If I want to buy a Happy Meal complete with cheese burger,  fries, Coke and A COOL TOY, THAT IS OUR DECISION TO MAKE!  If I want to allow my daughter to use the tanning salon before she is 18 years old, THAT IS MY DECISION TO MAKE!  As mom I CAN say no or yes to these and dozens of other choices.

I ENJOY EATING CAP’N CRUNCH!

I BUY HAPPY MEALS FOR THE TOYS FOR ME SOMETIMES TOO!

WHEN I CAN AFFORD IT I  LIKE TO USE THE TANNING BED!

Sorry off track here a bit.  I am all for healthy options, but I still want variety and options!  Get out of our Happy Meals!  Back off  the tanning beds!  Leave my breakfast cereal alone!

As for the rumor? See the link below, seems it is NOT true, but still, stay OUT of my cereal!

Is Cap’n Crunch Retiring?

20 comments

  1. Oh boy…….I’ve been out of town and haven’t been able to catch your blog. You hit it right sister!!!! I have always loved all those sugary cereals. I tried to make healthy breakfasts for my kids when they were growing up, but they both loved frosted flakes, cocoa krispies, and the like. They are now 26 and 28. Both are college graduates (one with a masters) and have well paying jobs. Sugary cereals built character!!!!

  2. My childhood breakfast consisted of eggs, toast, pancakes, etc… but all I wanted was to spend the night at a friends house so that I could eat Cinnamon Toast crunch! I now “spoil” my kids and let them eat that sugary cereal and you know what? They want the eggs, toast, and pancakes!
    P.S. thanks for stopping by my blog!

  3. American cereals are. the. best. I went into major withdrawal when we moved away when I was little. (Lived there from when I was 5 – 9). I *loved* all the cereals with the mini marshmallows. And a friend’s mom used to make hot chocolate with dinky little cereal looking marshmallows in it!! to this day I try to find American food stores in the places I live, but alas, I’ve never come across dinky little cereal marshmallows for my hot chocolate! **starts playing mini violin**. I hope your country doesn’t change too much cause living in Europe and dealing with socialism has really made me realize how sweet living in the States really is. I was super left wing till I started living here… Now? Not so much. (Still a lefty when it comes to people’s rights and stuff but for everything else I guess I’m libertarian).

  4. Enjoyed reading your rant! I’m so inspired I think I’ll go buy a box of Cocoa Puffs! Whatever happened to Count Chocula? That was my fave growing up – and Frankenberry!

  5. I loved Cap-n-Crunch (and Frosted Flakes, Smacks, Golden Crisps, etc) while growing up and buy similiar things for my kids now. I too, buy happy meals FOR ME occassionally.

  6. I agree. When we will learn that the responsibility is not the government’s or even corporate America’s, it is OUR responsibility to make these decisions, as individuals and as parents.

  7. No, say it isn’t so!!!! Captain Crunch is one of my all time favorites (followed closely by Frosted Flakes) and seriously, the government needs to um… Prioritize! I thought it was ridiculous that they tried to do away with the American classic, the Happy Meal and like you, I’m a Mom who feels it is OUR decision!

    Thanks for sharing great “this is how I REALLY feel” type moments like this every day!

    • The link at the bottom indicates that they are not going to retire it, but advertising is down. I say we show how we all feel by buying up every box of Cap’n Crunch we can find!

  8. Marti,
    I loved it!!! I, too, ate Captain Crunch and numerous other sugary cereals back when I was growing up in the 60’s and 70’s. Am I aging myself or what? Ha! My mother wouldn’t allow poptarts for breakfast during the week , only weekends, while we had the previous mentioned types of cereals during the week! Go figure! I must be a bad mom, in Michelle Obama’s eyes, because, heaven forbide, I do allow my son to have his frosted brown sugar cinnamon poptarts during school days—-it seems to be his favorite. He does have frosted mini wheats on occasion, though. I don’t appreciate the government stepping in and interferring with what we can and can’t give our kids to eat or what we let them read!

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