Wine & Cheese – 10th Serving
Every week on Wednesday I devote a blog to whining. Despite being a really happy, positive person, I do have things that annoy me at times. I never let anything grate on my nerves for long but thought it would be fun to vent them periodically in my blogs.
I also feel that good things, the cheese in life, should be acknowledged as well.
I’m even going to throw in a bit of dessert, a piece of virtual chocolate, something that made me laugh or smile just a bit more than normal.
Mobile Nasal Minners
I follow a blogger, Kristina, over at The Ten Minute Missive and she blogged about observing things people do in their car seemingly unaware they are being watched. Much to my surprise, one she left out that drives me bonkers is nose pickers! Or nasal miners as she put it and I’m borrowing it because that is funny stuff right there. And don’t you know, after commenting on the blog Monday, I am then headed to work on Tuesday morning and stop for a red light. Glancing back in the review mirror I was treated to the vision of a man in his mid to late 20’s with fully half of his index finger buried in his nose! I tried to look away but when I again glanced up at this train wreck he was holding his nostril open with both hands, trying to peer up his nose in his review mirror, then went mining for more! SERIOUSLY???? Do you not realize that everyone around you is watching you while you dig in your facial cavern? OMG and then? YES dear readers, you guessed it, apparently this is where he hides his breakfast because he proceeded to consume whatever morsel he found encased in his sinus cavity! AHHHHHHH!!! For crying out loud, if you must pick your nose, do not do this in the car and please, deposit the goods in a tissue, wipe it on your pants leg, whatever but please do not eat it!!!! I was tempted to walk back and offer him some wheat bread and a napkin from my lunch bag as I was pretty sure after that display I was not going to be hungry again anytime soon.
Tanning Bed Tell Alls
When I have the luxury of paying to fake-bake my ample rear in the tanning bed at the local vitamin D salon, I go there to relax. I turn OFF my cell phone ringer, put on some bronzer, turn on the radio, the fan and lay back for a relaxing, 20 minute warm, naked nap. NEVER fails as I’m in my virtual paradise watching Juan, the hot ass pool boy clean my cement pond, that a drama queen lands in the room next to mine and, while worshiping the imitation sunshine on her side of the wall, she gets on her cell phone and launches into a minute by minute update on her soap opera romance to her totally bestest girlfriend….at the top of her lungs!! Just when I am about to seduce Juan out of his swim trunks the vision is gone as the Lindsay Lohan wannabe screeches out details to the entire establishment of her misguided love. First if you must talk on the phone while tanning, lower the volume on your highly irritating voice. Cats fighting is more soothing than the sounds coming forth from your vocal cords. UV rays are bad for the phone display, and though mommy will likely buy you a new one right away if you ruin that one, you could miss an important text from lover boy if the screen ceases functioning, so maybe put that thing away? Besides, some of us are trying to sleep and enjoy our well mannered, sexy fantasy guys over here, so STFU!!!!
I have a bone to pick with the dads out there. I am SO sick of hearing dads refer to spending time with the kids, while mommy is away, as babysitting. News Flash: YOU are dad, YOU are the other half of the parental unit, half of their biological gene pool. Your time is called PARENTING. You are not a babysitter. You are their father, you are just as responsible as the mother for changing the kids diapers, feeding them, getting their meals, changing their clothes, kissing boo boos and applying a band-aid, anything that mom can do you can do too! You can load the dishwasher, do laundry, and care for the kiddos too, dad, your job did not stop at ejaculation. Start acting like a parent and get involved with them, daddy!
SPIRIT WEAR In The Mail!
YIPPIE!!! My personalized Bengals jersey is definite cheese for me! Made my whole day to come home and find it had arrived, as ordered. I cannot wait to wear it! 🙂
Money In The Mail!
Who cares if it is only $2? It is cash and with no strings attached. Okay a small guilt string, a poll about beer (oh darn the luck) and they hope that the cash will be an incentive to respond to the poll. And I will! But yeah for money in the mail!
We broke down and tried this new Mayfield ice cream we kept hearing about, and we in the Diva Den are SOLD! This is good stuff, especially the Banana Split!!! AND we get a free carton as the company is so sure you will love their product that they buy the first one! Sure you have to send in the receipt and UPC but so what? It was that good we want more!
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display
Of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since
I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s
‘What do you think?’ I asked. ‘Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?’
‘Better get a bikini,’ he replied. ‘You’d never get it all in one.’
He’s still in intensive care.