T.G.I.F.!!!! Sort of
Yes, I am very thankful it is F-R-I-D-A-Y!!!! This has been a long week that started off completely crappy and while it vastly improved the past few days it still isn’t perfect. Perfect would be going home at noon today and relaxing on the deck with a cold beer and a good book on this beautiful day, sleeping in tomorrow and then holding down a chair all day while lost in that same book. It is not to be. WAIT!!! Who am I kidding? PERFECT would be winning the lottery and not working ever again unless I wanted too! Today is a GOOD day, but not a GREAT day. Let me explain.
I am off of work early today, at noon. I have to go home and scoop up Pixel kitten, put her in the cardboard pet carrier that she hates, and take her back to the vet. She was so good the first 5 days after coming home, just relaxed, slept a lot and seemed to know she needed to heal. Wednesday she must have been feeling great because it was her first day to really snap out of it and play. Her and Noel had the rips, racing around the house, wrestling and being crazy cats. I figured she was okay or she’d not be suddenly so wild. Short of gluing her paws to the floor I don’t think I could do more than I did to keep her from injuring herself since surgery. Well now she has a hernia at the incision site. Lovely. I will be the meanie and load her up, listen to her laying on the guilt for the 8 miles, crying her lungs out in the box, then hope whatever she has done isn’t going to require opening her back up because I cannot afford another surgery for this creature.
I started working part time for an insurance agent as his office manager a few weeks back. Tomorrow we will hopefully be moving to our new office. I don’t mind that at all, I get paid to go in and pack up the office and relocate it! We’ll also be doing some major purging and organizing, filing etc., it will be a busy day. However before I go there, I have to come in for my other job. Sales are down and we need to generate some business. Part of my job as production manager is to contact anyone we have quoted and get them to sign on. I am heading home early today because I am coming into the office to work tomorrow to do call backs and follow ups in the hope that I can generate some sales. I will be able to sleep in a bit but mostly I will be up earlier than I like on a Saturday and working. On a positive note, the boss and I did manage to knock out several sales yesterday so hopefully that is the flood gate of good selling karma bursting open!
This is my last weekend as a legally married person. Monday morning I will be at the courthouse finalizing the termination of my 23 year marriage. I still say Friday the 13th, our anniversary, would be the better day. Instead I’ll have to get my girlfriends together on the 13th for a ‘pig roast’. Food, beer and ceremonial burning of a stuffed animal pig in the fire pit. I think it is appropriate and the rest of the Divas are all over the idea, to celebrate my official, legal, single status. I’ve been really shocked at how I feel about it now. I am no longer upset, no longer feeling a burning hatred toward he who shall not be named, and no longer even sad. Last time I saw him and spent a bit of time with him I was surprised at the lack of feeling I had. Don’t misunderstand, I care about Lord Voldemort in that I know he is having issues with his back after an on the job injury, I know he is struggling with things in his world, and I feel bad for him. I still ‘love’ him, but no longer see him and view him as my husband, just maybe a friend. I don’t know what caused the healing that seems to have taken place but I like it. A few friends are worried that I will be upset Monday morning but I don’t think so, I really am feeling relieved that it is going to finally be over. This has been the longest 6 months of my life in many ways. I’ve been all over the emotional map and back again. To finally feel some peace is wonderful.
I wonder if some of this healing has been having to face some ‘firsts’ on my own rather than rely on a husband to manage any ‘crisis’ that has arisen. I had to work with my budget to find a way to pay for my kitten’s surgery, a first for me as he has managed the household finances for 23 years. When the car had issues I had to call the mechanic myself, set up the repair appointment and handle the financial side of that as well. I have made many other small steps and decisions on my own over the past few months, all of which seem to have added up to my realizing I don’t need a man in my life, and I sure do not want it to be him any longer if I do have cause for male assistance or companionship. I am feeling FREE, and come Monday, at 9am it will all be done and I will be officially solo. It remains to be seen if he will keep the promises he made about things we did not opt to put on paper and make legally binding.
As predicted, Long Beach is….gone. Just like that he up and vanished. A few too many things were not adding up for me, and I went back and reviewed early emails and IMs, finding numerous holes and pieces of the puzzle that didn’t quite fit. The photos he had sent of his house were of a gorgeous home with an in ground pool, but they appeared to be pictures taken for a real estate listing. So, I suggested a cell phone pic of the pool in the early morning light, something to dream about. That was the last I heard from him, Tuesday morning. Check mate!
I’ve been playing games with cyber casanovas for years now, I know their moves, their lines of crap etc., and while this one was far more convincing than the others, that red flag of skepticism was waving in a strong breeze keeping me from falling for his beautiful words of adoration. No matter how convincing they are, they seem to forget that once one is jaded and believes all men are pigs, there is no changing that line of thinking. I’m blond but not dumb. I will investigate their claims, I will turn over any and all stones looking for a demon under every rock. I do not trust men, period! The only man I had come to completely trust and believe in not only was the one to tell me all men are pigs, he went as far as to prove it to me 6 months ago and sealed the fate of all who come behind him. Pity too about Long Beach, his accent was sexy, as were his eyes, and he was a total gentleman keeping the topic of sex out of it for a full week, I was impressed. I think I’ll take a break from the freak parade over the weekend and rest up before the next candidate emerges to play the game for my attention.
I think tomorrow night calls for some serious gal pal time. One family member is in serious need of her BFFs and some strong drinks as she is now riding the divorce train too. The Princess Palace will roll out the red carpet and help her drown her sorrows a bit. She needs her tiara shined up and we are the bunch to help. Junk food, chocolate, wine and late night girl talk won’t fix anything but it does help with the hurts.
What a week! THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY!!!!!