One nice thing about being single, male or female:
The toilet seat is always just as you left it!
Leave it up, it stays put.
Leave it down, and there it will be next time you use the bathroom.
Personally, I prefer to keep the lid closed, keeps cats from drinking from it and from knocking things IN to the commode.
It is a running joke around here, since we have 3 cats, that it would be great if we could toilet train them. One handles the litter box just fine. One gets the general concept but when it comes to covering what she leaves behind…well she was orphaned shortly after birth so she wasn’t taught. I’ve done all but get in the box and show her how this is done but face it, I wouldn’t fit. We’re thankful she uses the litter box. The third one? Well she is mentally challenged on her best days. She digs the hole then stands in it and craps outside of the box onto the floor, then scoops litter OUT of the box onto her floor deposit to cover it. Brilliant, eh?
So I decided today to look into the idea of actually toilet training our cats. Heck we already have a phantom pooper (that person that never flushes but no one owns up to it), why not the cats? Heck if we can train them to go maybe we can train them to flush too! That would raise them above the phantom!
I actually thought it was a joke, as I really haven’t known of anyone that accomplished this feat. But then I googled “toilet training cats” and found out that this can, in fact, be done. Or at least according to the website and a number of videos it is successful. I’m still skeptical but willing to look into it. The first one I found, Litter Kwitter, has videos on it’s site to show how this is accomplished when you purchase their training kit for your cat. For $49 you can buy it and frankly that is worth it if I never have to purchase litter again. I have since found less expensive versions, as cheap as $16. I’m totally wanting to believe this can be done.
I had to include the video, I just knew you’d want to know. They even sell a special package for multi-cat households, like mine.
..as in a secret identity! Only better, I’m a superhero of sorts. Well, no, better than a superhero, I have mystical powers and can fill more than one roll. I’m a fairy! *giggle* Okay wipe that smirk off your face before I do it for you with my magic wand. 
Of course you didn’t KNOW this, it’s a secret! But I am going to let you in on it anyway, just don’t tell anyone, okay? I don’t have time for the mob of fans wanting my autograph and I have enough duties to perform within my own realm without special requests from others. Grab your coffee and I’ll explain.
It just dawned on my this morning that growing up our house had fairies. No really it did. A laundry fairy, restock fairy, cleaning fairy…we had a bunch of them. This came to me this morning as I was in my tiara and tutu fluttering about (this is a no fly zone, it lacks adequate clearance for safe take offs and landings so no flying, only flutters) performing my magic while the mortals within these walls slept. Stop smiling I’m serious now. I’ll share an example:
Once upon a time The other day I wandered into the upstairs bathroom to…well you know USE the toilet when, just before I sat down I noticed that the toilet tissue was all gone. In it’s place was the empty, cardboard tube that had once held hundreds of 2-ply quilted sheets designed for gently wiping away all traces of…well you get the picture. I pulled open the bottom drawer where we keep the stock and don’t you know, it was empty. No surprise here, after all it is MAGIC that is behind the restocking of the (shhhh) *whisper* toilet paper. The box of tissues that resides on the back of the commode, that can be used in an emergency, was also empty. Aw…some lazy poor helpless diva ran out, and knew not where to find more to restock for the next lass to enter the water closet. This was a job for THE RESTOCK FAIRY! (trumpets sound, no doubt startling the reader) I opened the bathroom door, peaked out, and not a soul was in site. I closed the door, did a pirouette (smacking my knee on the door frame, but that was due to the confined space and NOT my lack of graceful moves) and presto-magico I was transformed into…THE RESTOCK FAIRY. I whipped open the door and stomped angrily sounding like a herd of stampeding elephants gently opened the door and floated without a sound to the hall closet, retrieved multiple rolls and stomped back to the bathroom slamming the door slipped silently back and closed the bathroom door. Cramming 3 rolls into the drawer and reloading the roller after squishing the roll so it won’t roll smoothly for the next person Restocking the drawer with skills only possessed by us magical beings I returned to my mortal form and got on with it.
This made me wonder this morning, as I was performing my magic over the coffee pot, did we have a RESTOCK FAIRY in our home when I was growing up? We must have…I’m certain of it! I certainly have NO idea where the stock of extra (shhhh) *whisper* toilet paper was to be found! I only know that periodically it magically appeared in the bathroom shared by a tween and 3 teenagers. MOM! I KNEW IT! She is a fairy too! It must be a legacy handed down from one oldest daughter to the next. *smirking* Ha, I am special! Hmm…though wondering, just how special is this roll when I’m the schmuck that keeps having to restock the damn bathroom?
Until next time!
The Fairy
