Tag Archives: pink hair

Dear Future Husband ~ Things You Should Know

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Dear Future Mr. Marvi Marti,

I thought it would be nice to get a few things out there on the table in advance of the big day when we will finally pledge our undying love to each other.  This way it is in writing and you cannot  later say you were unaware.  Take notes darling.

  • I have 3 tattoos, and there will be more.  This is not negotiable.  I like my ink and I like my future ink.  Flowers and candy are all very sweet, but flowers will wilt and die and candy makes my ass fat.  Ink on the other hand will last forever.  If you want to surprise me with something special, think ink.
  • I have a nose ring.  Just a little diamond.  No, I will not take it out.   Yes you will come to find it cute.  If  by chance you do not,  well  tough tiddly winks babe.  No I won’t be piercing anything else.  I did that at one time.  The twins don’t want rings and south of the border….well okay maybe that one again someday.  It’s my border, I’ll pierce it if  I so chose.  You feel free to pierce your junk too if that is what you chose.
  • Sometimes I put pink dye in my bangs.  Just a streak or two.  Just learn to deal with it.  It washes out the next morning.  Sometimes I just feel like having it there.  No, I am not too old to do that.
  • I have a job, two of them actually.  One is daycare, I watch kids.  Yes it IS good money and I enjoy it very much.  I’m not looking to be wealthy off of it, it pays my bills and enables me to be home to do laundry, dishes, cook, and clean.  It also enables me to have time to write.  I also sell Avon.  Make-up.  Vanity Crack.  I love this job too.  I do plan to make a ton of money doing it.  I watch the stories in the training materials, I know that there are women making 6 figures dealing eyeshadow and mascara.  I plan to be one of them.  It takes hard work and a lot of time.  I have nothing better to do while I am looking for you.   I won’t be giving up the Avon, accept it.
  • I blog..sometimes a lot.  I have several.  I love to write.  I will not stop blogging, so deal with it.  Think of it as my therapist, it is keeping the body count down and it doesn’t cost you anything.  Yes I am very open in my blog and from a security perspective that might be a risk.  Tough.  I have  my doubts that the Boogie Man is looking for me, or a stalker.  And that is why there is  something called concealed carry permit.  Enough said.
  • My faith is important to me. I will attend church and be involved.  Sometimes I don’t get up on Sunday and go, most of the time I do.  It is my choice. You will accept this.

Those are a few of the non-negotiable things you will want to be aware of before the big day. Well perhaps a compromise can be reached as to a few, like no pink hair when we visit your family.  But only a compromise.

Until next time, my love!

Marti

Hair & Boobs, Brain & Heart

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Dolly Parton is one of my favorite women, she is cute, funny, and so down to earth.  Recently she tweeted the following on her Twitter account:

“I hope people realize that there is a brain underneath the hair and a heart underneath the boobs.”

That got me thinking about what people see when they look at me lately.  What is it they think they know about me from what they see on my Facebook, Twitter, and blogs?  Do they just see the outside shell or can they SEE below the surface?

I know many probably think my mental choo-choo has totally derailed of late, especially my kids, and I guess I cannot blame them.  Their mother, who used to be a bible thumping, long jumper wearing, involved up to her eyeballs church lady,  is running around with a butch looking hair style and dying her bangs pink at 47 years old.  They watched their parents go from chairman of the deacon board and teaching youth in a Reformed Baptist church to riding a Harley and hanging out with their ‘new’ friends at clubs.  And then, when their mom and dad’s marriage appeared to be better than it ever was, their dad suddenly wanted a divorce, wasn’t willing to try to work things out,  leaving their mother’s heart shattered into tiny fragments while dear old dad is ‘just friends’ with a woman young enough to be his daughter that happens to be divorcing herself.

On The Surface

My boobs..yes they are um, well large now.  I come from a line of women that have some booty on them (read big butts).  The boobie fairy skipped over us but the bun fairy blessed us in abundance.  Maybe she was feeling bad that her winged sister bypassed us so she waved her magic wand over us all twice (seriously, stop trying to do us favors and just send our fairy godmothers as those wenches haven’t been seen anywhere in a very long time).  Along with the boobs I had a tummy tuck, as having kids had made a mess of my abdomen.  It was something I did, for me, that I am very pleased with and now my top half balances the bottom half.

My head is covered in blond hair with a spray of bright pink in it.  The ex hubby disliked the spikey hair do and could not stand the pink in the bangs so I only did the dye one time while married. My daughter is not overly fond of the color either, and my son…well I think he just accepts his mother will never be ‘normal’ but she has fun and he sees enough pain and stupidity in the world through his job so he figures I am harmless.

Looking Beneath The Surface

Under the highlights and the pink there is a brain.  I’m blond naturally but I am NOT stupid.  In fact I am pretty damn smart.  I held a 4.0 gpa for 2 years of night college, and when I left had a 3.75, so I am far from dumb.  I am wise enough not to get suckered into ocean front property in the desert, and not naive enough to fall for “just friends” when the friend’s car is hidden in our garage so no one knows she is there.  As the saying goes, believing bullshit doesn’t make it true.  While I may not always make the wisest of decisions, it isn’t due to a lack of gray matter in my head. You can keep telling me it is night time a million different ways, but if the sun is shining brightly (and we don’t live in Alaska), I’m not buying it.  Yes, I am a bit confused lately and no doubt I am acting like it, but my world got turned up on end 6 months ago and I don’t have it all quite back in line yet so deal with it.

Don’t let the big boobs fool you either, underneath the silicone twins is a heart.  That heart is loyal to a fault when it loves someone.  It is big enough to care for a whole lot of people and is learning to love the person in mirror for who she is and not who others think she should be.  Right now that heart that was shattered is in more pieces than you could count and it is a pain beyond words.  Suffice to say there are times still that it just flat out hurts to breathe and I wonder if there will ever come a day when I will be able to get the pieces glued back together into something that remotely resembles what it was before it was dropped.  Meanwhile, sometimes those splintered remains override the brain’s attempts to think rationally and I have a melt down.  I think after 22 years of loving someone with every fiber of my being, no matter how imperfectly by their standards, I am entitled to those moments of temporary insanity.

Most of the time I am level headed, and over all I am happy and enjoying life.  But it takes longer than 6 months to get over a lost love that lasted 22 years, and a broken heart that still deeply loves the person that broke it.  So dear son, daughter, and friends, when you see the crazy hair and the lapses of reason, crazy venting text messages, keep in mind that beneath it all there is a brain and a heart just trying to sort through the debris and don’t judge me too harshly.