Life Isn’t Fair, Get Over It!

My blog page has remained a politics free zone and it is my intent to keep it that way.

Frankly, it doesn’t matter who got elected Tuesday, this country is a mess and the fix comes from the bottom up.  Yes, the bottom.  The People.  We can now sit around and whine and cry about how unfair everything is, or we can pull ourselves up off our apathy and do something about it.

The first thing we can do is accept that life is not fair.  Go on, pull out your birth certificate and look for the fine print where it says “life is going to be fair”.  I’ll wait. *hold music plays*  See? NOT there.  It never has been fair and it never will be.  Sure some folks are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, and more power to them.  It isn’t their fault that someone a generation or 3 ahead of them in their family managed to make a ton of money.  Or maybe they themselves busted their tail and made it.  It’s THEIR money, get over it they do not owe you a damn thing.  Make your own money!  And it isn’t my fault that I was born into an average family with a cop for a dad and a stay at home mom.  Yep, we weren’t rich.  4 kids on a cops salary and guess what, we didn’t have it all.  The thing is, we didn’t KNOW that.  We had 2 parents that loved us, fed us, made sure we had a roof over our heads and that we got an education.  Some of it in private schools, some in public schools.  My dad worked a lot of details and over time shifts to ensure his kids could go to a Catholic school.  Want more for your kids? WORK for it.  We didn’t have medical insurance that paid for most of our doctor visits or prescriptions.  We had the major medical insurance, the one that pays for most of your hospital and surgery when something bad happened, but when one of us got sick, it was paid for by my parents.  That meant we didn’t go to the doctor for every hang nail or splinter.  And we all survived just fine.  We saw the doctor when we were really sick, not just because our nose was running.  Suck it up, so junior has a cold.  Believe it or not, unless there are extenuating circumstances, he is going to be fine.  Rub some Vick’s on his chest, put him to bed and lots of fluids.  Take a few pages from the way our grandparents and great grandparents treated illnesses, it worked. We wouldn’t be here if it didn’t.

Learn to tell your kids NO.  NO, you cannot have a cell phone, iPad, Xbox, whatever.  We did just fine without them and guess what, so will they.  When more parents start deciding that there isn’t a NEED for that stuff, less kids will have them.  When I was growing up, I didn’t play video games, I had a skate board, roller skates and a bicycle.  We had FRIENDS, outside not online, and we got dirty.  The more dirt on you the better the day from what I remember.  Chalk on the sidewalk, crayons and coloring books, and I read, a lot of books.  Sorry but Hollywood cannot do what your child’s imagination can do when he or she READS Harry Potter, skip the movie read the books with them!  We went to the library as kids about once a week, and we WALKED because we had ONE car in our family.  Mom walked with us because she set the example and read, a lot.  We didn’t have cable and guess what, we didn’t care.  Heck we grew up without central air conditioning and as this blog is my witness, we lived! I know, miracle of miracles.  There was one window unit for my parent’s room because dad was on third shift back then and slept during the day.  It was more about noise to drown out 4 kids and neighborhood dogs than it was cooling the room.  You know what else? We didn’t get sick like kids today, and adults.  Maybe because our bodies adapted to the changes of seasons better because we didn’t have A/C to go in and out of, we also played outside in the dirt, probably did our immune systems a world of good, cast iron immunity.  3D??? I’ll tell you the absolute coolest 3D thing I ever saw as a kid.  Remember the 1974 tornado outbreak?  Well the one that took out parts of Sayler Park and areas on the far west side of Cincinnati, we watched it form! My dad took pictures hanging out of the 2nd floor windows while teaching us what was going on as we watched.  Let me tell you what, you cannot duplicate that on the big screen.  Yes, I love the movie The Polar Express, in 3D, but let me tell you what, that $12.50 I paid to watch it, doesn’t compare to being outside on a very quiet night and HEARING snow falling.  In case you don’t know it, you can hear it coming down, it is amazing.  And the smell of it is equally awesome.  Nothing compares to being there in the  middle of nickle sized snow flakes falling around you, a chilly breeze and experiencing the snow fall.

We played with Tinker Toys and Lincoln Logs and electric football games on the table in the dinning room.  We made our Halloween costumes (okay dad did cause he was the artistic genius in the family) we didn’t buy them at the party store.  Mom made our birthday cakes and a good portion of our clothing.  Yep, she  sewed, on a machine!  We wore designer attire, designed and hand made by mom.  It beat what we buy in the store not only because it was made with love, but it stayed together and was better made!  OH and we got to pick the fabrics and patterns.  REAL designer, one of a kind clothes!

We said ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’ and other polite responses.  And heaven  help us if we got in trouble in school.  Nothing Sister Rose Looks-Like-The-Walking-Dead could dish out was going to compare with what happened when we got home.  Parents didn’t sue the school, they disciplined their kids!  I got a swat at school once, and let me repeat that, ONCE.  Because I sure as heck didn’t want that to happen again.  A little humiliation on the walk of shame back to the class room with my butt stinging was good for me.  I never punched anyone in the face again!  My folks weren’t afraid to discipline us either.  Mouth off to mom you better duck and run.  Guess what, we were swatted when bad, had our mouth washed out when it needed it, and none of us went to jail.  And it wasn’t child abuse it was training for the real world where there are consequences for your actions.  I’m pretty sure none of us even has a speeding ticket on our records.  And we aren’t in therapy with our mom being blamed for all of our ‘syndromes’.

And that is another thing.  Stop labeling all this bad behavior and treating it with drugs.  I am sure ADD is real, most of the women in this family would be diagnosed with it, adult and teens.  It is why we drink so darn much coffee, as ADD drugs are stimulants and work the opposite in an ADD person (in the simplest terms).  We had kids in school that probably had ADD, but more often than not, they just needed a good swat on the butt from the principal and they could suddenly sit still and stop acting out in class.  Wonder of wonders.  Of course, we played outside at home, and on the playground and ran off a lot of energy too.  We didn’t get to eat fast-food meals except as a rare treat and candy and soda pop was also a treat.  Gee, anyone else wonder if there is a connection?  OMG mom MADE us eat our fruits and veggies.  I’m here to tell you, I lived.  I even like them now.  Desserts were Jell-o pudding, or fruit.  Wow, and we played outside all day.  There weren’t many over weight kids when I was growing up.

We didn’t go on fancy vacations to exotic places.  My folks bought a pop up camper and we camped all over this great country.  Sure, eventually they saved up and took us to Disney World, but that doesn’t begin to compare to sitting on the sand looking out at the vastness of the ocean, the waves tickling our toes, seeing Mt. Rushmore, or the Smokey Mountains, or the Badlands of South Dakota.  Walk through the cemetery holding row upon row of white markers for those that died fighting right here in our own country if you want to really FEEL something.  I’m told you can hear a pin drop at the USS Arizona Memorial.  If you don’t know what that is, shame on you, time to get out some history and study up.  There are so many amazing, historical and educational, places to see that cost a lot less than an over priced theme park.

Okay yes it matters who is running the country, but are we even paying attention?  Did everyone that didn’t vote for this candidate (and don’t even get me started on those that didn’t vote! 52% of registered voters in my county bothered to get off their butts on Tuesday grrrrrrr…..) go back to their regularly scheduled lives yesterday after moaning about it?  WHY???? DO something!  Start getting informed, 2 sources for your news, not just FOX News or CNN, watch or read both!  Take time to READ, get informed about our country, our government, our HISTORY and start doing something about it besides bitching about what is wrong. FIX IT!

Your budget tighter? GOOD learn to get by with less!  This holiday season folks aren’t getting a lot from me, but it will all be done or made with a lot more love than it takes to buy someone an iPad.  Every morning I pull out one of 2 cups for my coffee (because being OCD it has to be in one of those cups).  These cups were purchased as Christmas gifts from my niece, one each of 2 years, on her college budget of next to nothing.  And you know what?  They mean the world to me!  I think of Sarah every time I pull out one of those cups!  Simple, $1 store coffee cups but they were chosen specifically for me with thoughts of things important to me and I love them!  One year my mom got an idea for our extended family Christmas Eve gift exchange.  Instead of buying someone candles or socks, buy them something YOU like.  Or a few small things, and include a note about why those things are favorites or important to you.  It was the best gift exchange ever!  I learned an uncle of mine has a thing for jazz music, and I have a CD of one of his favorite artists.  Oh and he loves Zero candy bars!   Who knew!  Another year I received a hand made scarf from an aunt.  She buys them from a lady who designed the pattern with the help of her son, as he laid in his hospital bed dying.  She makes them in his memory and donates the money to whatever disease claimed his life.  These things mean a heck of a lot more to the people receiving them than any gift purchased at Macy’s ever will.

If you are someone who believes in God, get to church.  I know, church is full of hypocrites, go look in the mirror you are one of them too!  We all are! Church is for the sinners not the perfect folks and there isn’t a single one of us walking around that couldn’t benefit from some solid teaching.  If you don’t believe in God, great, then read the writings of Gandhi or Budda. Whatever, get some positive moral influence  in your life.  Turn off the crap on TV start reading more.  Start with some basic government learning, then some history. You’d be amazed what you will learn.

Tighten the budget, get involved in the world around you, volunteer some time, shut off the TV and talk to  your family (the best times in this house are spent on the deck in the evenings when the weather is nicer), read to your kids, have the kids read to you, see this country (look around, lots of history happened any where you live), bake cookies for a shut in, etc etc etc.  And again, get involved.  Bitching and whining doesn’t  make a change.  But right there where you are and I am, we can change our corner of the world, and just maybe if enough of us stop allowing all the distractions of things that do not matter into our lives and start interacting with each other and being a part of the world around us, it will change!

Life isn’t fair, but it can be what you chose to make it.  And if we all start getting more involved and cutting back, it won’t fix everything but it will be a good start!

Okay off my soap box.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

There is no ‘if’ about it, life is short.  It seems like just yesterday I was changing my son’s diaper, newly divorced and in the role of single mother.  Today he pushing is 27 years old, carries a gun and puts his life on the line as a cop.  I swear I blinked and went from protecting him to him protecting others.

So why DO we do so many things  we don’t like, and like so many things we don’t do? In a word: FEAR.

Many times I stayed employed in a job that I did not like because it was stable,  the pay was good, and I had medical insurance.  There were countless benefits that were unseen too, like free parking, location etc.  I transitioned through many positions within the 26 years at the company, some I really liked, others I  didn’t care for at all, and some I was simply content.  I feared leaving because there were too many ‘what ifs’ associated with leaving and trying something new.   It wasn’t until I was let go during a down sizing that I was forced to look for something new.  And the next two positions were similar in nature,  still stuck in a rut of doing what I knew I could rather than going after something that I thought I wanted to do but was unsure.  There was also much negative feedback associated with my occasional mentions of what I wanted to try doing.

After the next two jobs bit the dust, one was a seasonal lay off, the other the company just went under and I bailed when I saw the writing on the wall, I was forced to make some choices about my employment.  I was brain storming with my mom one Saturday morning, before the rest of the Divas were up and about, and I brought up childcare.  I really do love kids!  I am not really a domestic type, never got the joy of being the stay at home mom I had dreamed of, but I still  knew enough to know that watching children can be profitable, very profitable.  And then there is also Avon, something I very much wanted to sell.  I had taken a stab at it when my kids were little, and did it all wrong.  Now the corporation provides so much in the line of training that it is hard not to succeed.

Being home during the day watching children gives me a lot of opportunity to write, read, work the Avon business, and do something I very much enjoy, being a stay at home ‘mom’ of sorts.  I enjoy taking care of the kids a lot!  And I can pitch in around the house more, cleaning, doing dishes, and tackling Mt. Washmore, the Diva’s ever growing laundry pile.  It did take some initial adjustment, which worked well in the beginning as I only had the kids two days a week, then three, then four and now all five weekdays.  I eased into this and now I have a solid routine down.  It really works out well.

Avon allows me to do sales, something I have always wanted to try my hand at but never thought I had what it took.  And the product line is something I very much believe in.  I try the items that I recommend, and only recommend them if I really do like them.  I even started another blog page, I Sell Lipstick – Chronicles of an Avon Lady to not only share my adventures in this business but to review and give away products as I try them myself.

I also do some side work when needed for a friend that has  an insurance business, to keep the office skills up to date.

I still do not have medical insurance, but I am working with the agent friend to get a major medical policy in place and dental.  First I had bills that needed catching up from being without a paycheck.

Which brings me to another reason we tend to do things we don’t like, and avoid doing things we do like: other people’s opinions.

It is easy to become discouraged when others close to us have issues with what it is we are doing or want to do.  We write our dream off as a bad idea and stay where we are not happy.  For me, it was a deal breaker in a relationship with a guy that I really saw so much potential with for a possible life partner.  I wasn’t getting a ‘regular paycheck’ from anyone.  I think it had a lot to do with my not being ‘kept’ by that one, never mind that I get paid weekly, quite regularly and the same amount each time.  But that was an eye opener to me.

I’ve been employed in positions where I hated getting up and going to work each day.  I was moody, unhappy and most unpleasant to be around.  So many wasted years getting up and doing something I did not at all care for when I could have been doing something I really enjoyed.  I don’t care what you do for a living, as long as you pay your bills and you ENJOY what you do!  You cannot get back the time that is wasted in a very unhappy career.  No, not going to change what I do to make someone else feel happy and secure with me.  I love what I do, I am singing in the shower, humming and singing while putting on my make-up for the day, I enjoy being a daycare provider!  I enjoy cleaning the house and doing the laundry (dear gawd did I just really say that?? THE UNDOMESTIC GODDESS LIKES BEING DOMESTIC???).  I love selling Avon and plan to make that one helluva living too!  I don’t care what you do, be it a teacher, cop, firefighter, sanitation worker, stable cleaner, auto mechanic…if you enjoy what you do, if you are happy getting up and going to work each day, and we hit it off, then I accept you as you are, package deal.  If we don’t hit it off, I will cheer  you on in what you love, because life is entirely TOO short not to do what makes you happy!

I am now doing what I enjoy, and ever so thankful I finally took the risk and went for it!

The Diaper Diaries 05/19/2011

When I started this gig of babysitting to make a living I wasn’t entirely sure that my mental choo choo train hadn’t left the rails.  My baby is 20, I haven’t changed a diaper in a very long time and I was never much of one for domestic goddess roles.  I gave up on being a stay at home mom and have worked all my life.

When I got layed off from the company I had been with for 26 years I actually didn’t mind at first.  I enjoyed being home and hanging with my daughter, cleaning and even started cooking again. (I hate to cook, the hubmiester did all the cooking when we were married)  I wasn’t blissfully happy but I was pretty content.  I was able to spend time writing each day, hooking on blankets and still keeping the house in order and doing all the laundry.  I was bored more than anything but hey, it worked.

I’ve been the victim of the crap economy 2 more times and decided this was getting old so I decided to try childcare.  It was one of those over a cup of coffee brain storms with my mom one Saturday morning.  Within a week of getting the word out I was watching 3 siblings, Princess Smiles A Lot (7yo), Mr. Man (2yo) and Miss Thang (9 mths).  We transitioned from 2 days a week to 5 days over about a month to a month and a half.

My world of corporate office inventory and managing offices became feeding schedules, changing diapers, naps and homework.  And I love it!  I never imagined I would really enjoy this, but what is not to love about a toddler hugging you for no reason at all, or a baby grinning ear to ear when she sees you?  Nothing beats rocking a little one to sleep and off to dreamland, it is such a sweet few moments!  And if the sore muscles and looser jeans are an indication, I’m slowly taking off weight and toning up with all the up and down steps, lugging kids, chasing them, etc.  At the end of the day I am totally drained and happy to see my pillows!

I’ve been spit on, pooped on, fallen over baby gates, stepped on toys that have left some interesting bruises on my foot, been pinched, and still find this one of the best jobs I have had!  :)  During nap time I clean up the kitchen, do laundry and still have time to write or play a few rounds of Farkle on Facebook.  And the pay isn’t bad either!

I also started working as an independent sales representative for Avon, which has spawned a new blog page for me, where I will write my lipstick diaries of my adventures.

It is a steady income, and I feel like I have accomplished something at the end of each day. I think I made a good choice of career changes after all!

10 Reasons Why I Could Not Be A Real Housewife From Any County

Mama’s Losin’ It

If you are stumped for something to write about, click above and head over to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.  She has 5 prompts to chose from today and you can link up and read other’s posts.

10 Reasons Why I Could Not Be A Real Housewife From Any County

  1. I am single.  Hard to be a housewife if you aren’t married to carry the title ‘wife’.  Not seeing that on my future horizon anytime soon so yeah, housewife is kinda out for me.
  2. I would never be happy not working at something.  The country club, lunch, tennis and shopping aren’t productive in my book, just not happening for me.
  3. I HATE shopping with a passion (how non-girlie I know).  I get a headache just thinking about going to the mall.
  4. Short of getting my nails done every few weeks and my hair highlighted every 3 months, I really do little to pamper myself. Okay maybe a good shower gel now and then.
  5. Speaking of pampering, never had a massage despite having had a friend that was a massage therapist.  Sad right?  Way too expensive IMHO.  Much happier having someone massage my hands when my arthritis is acting up. Way more personal.
  6. While I really do enjoy the symphony,  I much prefer a blanket under the stars listening to the Cincinnati Pops in the park curled up with someone special, to getting all dressed up to go to Music Hall.
  7. Other than a tummy tuck and  boob  job to fix what I felt were major flaws from having kids, I will grow old gracefully with a good skin care regimen and skip the face lifts and botox. (must be doing something right cause few guess my age and the 7yo I watch just told me yesterday that my face looks much younger this week)
  8. I am pretty certain I am way more comfy sitting around the grill and fire pit with steaks, cold beer and good friends to dining in 5 star establishments where I don’t even recognize what is being served.
  9. I HATE having my picture taken and I am rarely seen without my makeup on so the idea of a camera crew following my every move 24 x 7 turns my stomach.
  10. I am way too west side/redneck girl to survive long in the snooty rich bitch side of society, I’d have most of them offended in the first 5 minutes and the rest of them when I drank too much and flashed the twins at the country club bar!

I Received Some Love Today!

It is always nice to receive comments and feedback from readers on the things I write, I read them all and I do try hard to reply to them all as soon as possible.

I received some unexpected love today in the form of a blog award from McKenzie over at “Life As A Stay At Home Mom.

1. I accept this award from Mckenzie…thanks again!!

2. Pay it forward to 5 other bloggers. This list will be below this. (originally saw this for 15 bloggers but honestly 5 was easier for me with so much going on behind the scenes so I cheated and made it 5 – sorry to the originator!!)

3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they have been chosen.

This was very hard to chose, as I follow a lot of blogs and I think ALL of the women and their blogs are beautiful in different ways.  You all make my reading time a total pleasure so I felt I should honor you by passing this on.

AWARDS TO:

Are You Serious? – Midwestern Mama

Never Growing Old

Things I Can’t Say

Jeanne Nicole: Adventures Of A Not-So-Average Teen

La Bella Vita (get writing again!!!)