Tag Archives: cat

The Cat’s Meow

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Actually it was more like the cat’s cries of terror.

Sunday I moved my furry baby to the castle of my Knight.  I took her and Ditzy, our little window licker/mentally touched cat, and relocated them.  To hear them carrying on you’d have thought they were headed to the slaughter.  And their crying just made me feel terrible for doing this to them even though I know once adjusted to their new home they will both be very happy.  Pixel was suffering separation anxiety while I was away from the Diva Den, so since I’m moving in with my honey in stages, it seemed logical to just move her where I’m now sleeping.  She was less than impressed.

They cried all the way there, and then hid in the lowest level of the house in fear, continuing to meow like they were dying.  Ditzy has since made herself at home, finding places to go hide, playing with toys, and coming to us both for affection.  Pixel has refused to leave the bathroom in the lowest level where the litter box is now located.  I tried to convince her to venture beyond but every time I brought her upstairs she would slink, belly on the floor, back downstairs.  During the first night she was outside the bedroom door crying and trying to get in.  Once my Knight departed for work I found her in the hallway outside the bedroom door.  She ran right in when I beckoned and curled up with me purring her sweet little heart out.  But when I got home from work yesterday she was back downstairs and refused to come up.  If she was forced up, she hid under the couch.  I give up, she will just have to transition in her own good time.  But meanwhile I’ll still feel like a big old meanie for changing her environment.

My mom has determined that the Knight is either truly in love with me, or has lost his mind.  :)  It’s love!  Though he did say something about there being a thin line between the two.

Monday Memos

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Dear Noel,

I get that you are the top cat in the house.  For the record you are also the biggest and heaviest of the felines allowing us to feed and house them.

So what happened?  You normally will not step paw one into my room, as it is Pixel’s sleeping place and you usually respect that fact.  If I look at you, then you suddenly exit the room in a hurry.  Until 4am this morning when I woke to you laying on my chest.  For the record, yes, you purring is kind of soothing, and it was nice and warm.  However, you are a bit of a lard-butt when it comes to cats.  And breathing IS kind of necessary for me to continue to live, fill the food bowls and clean your litter box.

Next time, just curl up by my leg like Pixel does, if you insist on suddenly sleeping with us.

Humbly,
The Feline Feeder & Litter Cleaner Upper

Dear Warner Cable,

REALLY????

I mean REALLY REALLY????

We call you on Saturday because suddenly our cable, that was working just dandy Friday evening, is no longer functioning.  You remotely reset/boot all the boxes in the house (which by the way is just kinda creepy that you can do that).  The boxes all go into an eternal state of rebooting over and over.  We follow all of your help desk’s scripted instructions spoken in barely discernible English by a warm body in another country, unplugging, re-plugging, only to be told a technician will have to come see what the issue is on Monday.  We did without football on our TV, Once Upon A Time, The Walking Dead, 666 Park Avenue, and then suddenly the boxes are back on and the cable is working within an hour of the expected ETA of the technician, as if by magic??????  Are you sure it wasn’t just that no one was available this past weekend to throw the right switch or reboot YOUR box?

Grrrrrrr,
Wants Credit For Missed Days Of Television

Dear SparkPeople,

I thank you profusely for your FREE, diet and fitness website.  OMG nothing like tracking everything going in the mouth to suddenly make healthier food choices in order to spread those daily calories out a bit.  And yes, I know, those healthy carbs, some fat and the protein are very important to functioning fully.  Not to mention the 8 glasses of water a day I’m drinking again.  As one who easily is dehydrated that probably SHOULD be a good thing but I am not a big fan of drinking water.  But okay, I’m on it.  Heck I get to earn Spark Points, and I’m all about earning virtual points for virtual stuff, just ask FourSquare when I check in all over town and hold virtual Mayorship of dozens of places including our upstairs bathroom.

Seriously, I love the site, love the free everything on there and the exercise videos.  You all rock!

Gratefully,
My Future Slimmer, Fitter Me

Day 7 ~ 30 Days Of Thankfulness 2012

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I am thankful today for all 5 of my senses…and that mysterious 6th one.

I woke to the sounds of my sister getting ready for work, then my mom, before the sounds of my cat purring reached my ear as she made her way up the bed once she knew I was awake.  Though it isn’t as good as it once was, I can hear!

I could smell fresh coffee brewing in the kitchen, and the last traces of lavender oil on my pillow case.  My nose still works!

I could taste that wonderful cup of coffee, and the toasted cheese sandwich that was my breakfast.  And the Almond Joy mini candy bar that followed. Those taste buds are still working!

I can feel the softness of my cat when I’m petting her, and the blanket on my bed that I made that she has now adopted as her own.  I can feel the cool spray of body balm when the hot flashes are in over drive today.  I can feel the rough carpeting under my feet change to cool hard floor as I leave the steps and head into the kitchen.

I can see, even if with the assistance of glasses or contact lenses, my adorable cat stretched out on the blanket on the bed, the sunshine pouring across the land,  the bowl holding the candy bars, all my favorite things in my room as I’m looking about me.

And that mysterious 6th sense, my gut feeling, intuition, better judgement…whatever you want to call it…that ‘red flag’ that gives me cause to stop and use the other 5 senses I have to investigate and double check my surroundings.

So many come through this life without some of these, or lose them throughout the course of their time here on earth.  That I have all of mine and they are working well this morning, for that I am very thankful.

Things That Go Fuzzy In The Night

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No, not things that go ‘bump’ in the night, though thanks to things going fuzzy there was plenty of bumping going on.  I mean fuzzy, as in my cat’s very favorite toy.  Her Fuzzy.  I don’t know what else to call it other than a fuzzy, as that is what it is, a little fuzzy thing.   She hides it between the wall and the dresser to keep the other cats from getting to it.  So far back in fact that she cannot get to it either.  I have to stick a ruler or hanger back there to retrieve it when she wants it.  Well until the other day, not sure where she had it hidden but it was somewhere under my bed.

During the night, around midnight, I woke up to what felt like demons under the bed.  Pixel was under there digging around for what I later would learn was her Fuzzy.  I drifted off to sleep again only to wake to the bumping noises as she was playing kitty cat soccer with her Fuzzy behind the desk, under the desk, under night stand, under the bed, and on and on.  I got fed up and crawled down on the floor, found Fuzzy and got back in bed.  With Fuzzy clenched in my hand I started to drift off to sleep again.  I felt whiskers, then she licked my fingers, then she started to paw at my fingers in an attempt to get to her Fuzzy.  I guess I fell asleep because later I woke to the bumps in the night…again.

I am a patient woman but this was getting to be a bit much.  Kitty soccer and then she was in the bag with a blanket I’m working on, then out of the bag and I had just about enough again.  I crawled out one more time, this time taking Fuzzy and when I got back in bed, it went under the pillow.  Pixel hunted high and low around the bed until she realized where it was, then she climbed up on my pillows and stared down at me like a furry vulture for a while.  When that didn’t work, she curled up next  to me, never  taking her eyes off me until she fell asleep.  She was still there this morning waiting for me to give  her back her Fuzzy.  Now she is curled up on the bed, sleeping  on the spot on my blanket where Fuzzy is safely hidden underneath so the other cats cannot find it.

I wish I could get that focused on any one area in my life!

Fuzzy

Monday Memos

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Dear Neighbor,

I want to first tell you that I love animals, especially dogs, cats and deer.  The cats I am quite certain you’ve picked up on as there are 3 of them in this house and whenever there are open windows they all sit in the window watching the world (we call this kitty cat television with surround sound when the window is open).

You know I love dogs as I have been known to doggie sit my daughter’s little Yorkie, Penny, when she is away.  We’ve had the Akita on the back deck for a day too, though we regret that she was not allowed in the house as she views the cats as 4-legged snack food.   But I’m hijacking this memo….

I love deer, and that is one thing I dearly love about living in this house, the woods behind us and the deer that are often seen grazing in the back yard.

What I do NOT love is your obnoxious dog that never stops barking and has kept the deer away.  Put him out to do his business then bring his sorry, barking tail inside so we don’t have to hear him all day and the deer will return.

Kind Regards,

Growing Tired Of The Barking

:)

Dear Bengals,

That really was not an impressive game yesterday.  Last week’s win was not very pretty but then I’ll take a win any way we can have it.  But really, when you are down by 4 so close to the end of the game, is 4th down and 5 really NOT a good excuse to just freaking GO FOR IT????? What did you have to lose at that point?  SIGH, being a fan of your stripes is not easy most Sundays.  Please, get it together.

A disgruntled fan

P.S. – Bravo Colts!

:(

Dear Kurt Sutter,

I got hooked on your show after being an ‘old lady’ to a biker for a while who was a member of an outlaw motorcycle club.  I love the show, the realism of it all, but really, did it have to be Opie????  I suppose it IS realistic that way, but wow did not see that one coming!  I’m on the edge of my seat this season, cringing, crying, laughing and cheering on the bad boys each week.  By far this is the best season you’ve written.  I’ll forgive you for killing off main characters, as long as you leave Gemma, Tara and Jax alone.   I think we need more episodes of Jax & Juice without shirts on. *panting*

Sincerely,

A devoted Sons Of Anarchy Fan

:)

Dear FarmVille2

I hate you.  No offense but really I hate you.  I have a business to run, and while I’m out there building my team and trying to keep the business going, I’m back to worrying about crops withering in fields and chickens going hungry.  Please, help a farmer out here and get an app for that please!  At least then I can milk the cows while on the go!

Regretfully,

Farming Pixel Produce Again

:(

Dear Cyber Stalking Chick,

Shame on you!  I am told you lost someone to suicide who was a victim of being  bullied.  They also tell me you were under psychiatric care yourself for being a victim of bullying.  And now you are yourself a bully!  You should be ashamed of yourself!  By the way, be careful dear, not everyone is really your friend, and they have tossed you under the bus this time.  What  you are doing is  a crime, move on and fascinate someone else, my patience is wearing ever so thin.  Get a life that doesn’t involve me or mine.

Fed Up,

Time For Serious Legal Action

Yet Another Lesson From My Cat

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I’ve noticed my beautiful baby has a tendency to sleep…a lot.  If reincarnation was a reality, I’d want to come back as a pampered house cat.  Mine is pretty darn pampered.

Lately my baby has been irritated  with me and hasn’t slept in my room, let alone with me in weeks.  My being in love and in a relationship seems to have threatened her comfort level.  Not to mention being a cat she is highly OCD and if I am gone over night it totally screws up her neat little world.  I completely understand that, I’m learning that I am not only rather ADD but I have some serious OCD issues, and I do NOT like my neat little world order messed with one bit.

If I sleep away from my home, anywhere other than my room, it messes with my brain for days.  In my room I have created for myself a haven, a nest of sorts.  It is MY space, and I researched  color psychology when choosing the color in order to have an atmosphere of peace and tranquility here.  When I am stressed, being in this room calms me down and helps me think.  When sad, my room helps sooth my nerves and bring me a feeling of peace.  It is the one place that is all mine, not shared with anyone but my cat.  And in her world, for things to be balanced, she expects to find her mama sleeping there at night.  She seems to sense that I am mentally and emotionally fragmented the past 24  hours, and headed for a slight melt down.  She was on my dresser, one of her favorite hang outs, when I got into bed last night.  As soon as I turned off the light she jumped down on the bed and curled up by my leg, where she remained the entire night.  She left in the early hours of the morning just before the sun rose, then returned and stayed until I woke up.  Then she came and curled up by my head for a love fest of ear and chin scratches and purring.  Now today she has followed me all over the house like my shadow.

The  foundation of life has been yanked out from under me a bit the past 24 hours or so.  Well okay, more like just rocked hard.  Too much too fast and I’m overwhelmed to say the least.  I noted that when Pixel gets ‘stressed’ she goes off to a dark, cool place and sleeps.  Being one that hates the dark and fears it, I prefer at least soft light coming in the window.  But I’m all over the cool temps and sleeping.  So I did that.  I turned on my fans in my room, providing a nice ‘white noise’ that kept me from hearing anything else.  I shut my door and curled up on my bed and just slept.  Pixel got up on the dresser and watched over me while I was sleeping.  My thoughts are still in slivers, but I’m letting them just cascade down until all of the pieces fit into a picture that makes some sense to me.  It was not a real restful nap, but long and it did help some.  I considered crawling under the bed  and hiding, another trick of Pixel’s when she needs her  space, but I am pretty certain my big butt wouldn’t make it under there and I’m too claustrophobic to find it anything but unnerving.

A song came to mind (I love how healing and soothing music can be) when I first laid down to nap, it’s been stuck in my head since.  So, I leave you with one of the few Beatles songs I really love.

Lessons From My Cat

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I’ve  learned many things from my cat over the 2 years I’ve had her, which is all but about 4 weeks of her life.  At the moment she is working on spending one of her 9 lives and cutting her existence a bit short but cats are like that some days.

See, cats suffer from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).   Well maybe it is more of just an obsession issue.  Once they get something in their furry little heads it takes over their life in every manner.   They eat, breath, sleep and function for one purpose – the object of their obsession.  They don’t stop until they have what they seek.

Recently I started using a new  pill holder.  You know the kind, you can put all of your medication in it for a week,  divided into cute little compartments, one for each week day.  It isn’t so much that I take a lot of medications or vitamins, only 3 pills per day,  it is the only sure proof way to ensure I actually take them each day….once.   Otherwise I go through the day and cannot recall if I took them.  No sense over dosing or under dosing, just use this little invention and problem solved.  I take my Lexapro, allergy meds and a probiotic.  I’ve just recently began the probiotic as a means of keeping my Ulcerative Colitis in remission (so far so good).

I don’t know if it is the new container or the probiotic that the cat is so fascinated with now.  I’ve used containers before but the last one went off the back of the bike on a highway south of Louisville some months back with my backpack.  Pixel never had any interest in it beyond checking it out then walked away.  By the way, nothing new that enters my room is missed, she notices and checks out every little item before it is given a pass to stay put.  EVERYTHING.  Either this new container is the issue, or it is the probiotic inside.  Whatever it is, the darn thing is like catnip to her.  I’m leaning toward the probiotic as the container sat on the vanity for days without her caring one bit.  Now that the other pill is inside she suddenly won’t leave it alone.  She treats it like the catnip pillows we have, rubbing her chin on it, trying to pick it up and take it away.  She just found it this morning,  of course while I was  asleep.  I tossed her off my vanity twice before I put it in the drawer and went back to sleep.  She has spent the past hour trying to get the drawer open.

After I tossed her from the room and shut the door, I got back in bed and thought to myself, “if I treat my business with that same level of obsession I will be a Senior Executive Unit Leader in a year!”.  DING DING DING!!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!  Okay no bells went off but you get the idea.  I have been reading Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, and Pixel just provided me with a visual aid for burning desire to have something.  As soon as I opened the door of the bedroom she appeared from down stairs and was right back to trying to open that drawer!  She simply will NOT give up, it is her burning desire, her obsession, to possess that container and/or it’s contents.  She has a get-it-or-die-trying level of commitment.

I’m rather certain I can say that no one has died as a result of building their direct selling business to the level of success that they are financially free from debt and making $8,000 a month.  Or more.  Yes I know, seems insane but those that make it that far in Avon share their tax returns at events to show us that they are getting bonus checks of $8,000-$14,000….every 2 weeks.  I want that SO bad.  And I know how to get it, I know the ins and outs of working this business to that kind of success.  I just have to keep DOING it.  Eat, breath, sleep my business.  Make it an obsession.

Thanks, Pixel, my beloved fur ball, for the incredible, though most incredibly annoying, visual aid this morning.

Toilet Training Cats?

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It is a running joke around here, since we have 3 cats, that it would be great if we could toilet train them.  One handles the litter box just fine.  One gets the general concept but when it comes to covering what she leaves behind…well she was orphaned shortly after birth so she wasn’t taught.  I’ve done all but get in the box and show her how this is done but face it, I wouldn’t fit.  We’re thankful she uses the litter box.  The third one? Well she is mentally challenged on her best days.  She digs the hole then stands in it and craps outside of the box onto the floor, then scoops litter OUT of the box onto her floor deposit to cover it.  Brilliant, eh?

So I decided today to look into the idea of actually toilet training our cats.  Heck we already have a phantom pooper (that person that never flushes but no one owns up to it), why not the cats?  Heck if we can train them to go maybe we can train them to flush too!  That would raise them above the phantom!

I actually thought it was a joke, as I really haven’t known of anyone that accomplished this feat.  But then I googled “toilet training cats” and found out that this can, in fact, be done.  Or at least according to the website and a number of videos it is successful.  I’m still skeptical but willing to look into it.  The first one I found, Litter Kwitter, has videos on it’s site to show how this is accomplished when you purchase their training kit for your cat.  For $49 you can buy it and frankly that is worth it if I never have to purchase litter again.  I have since found less expensive versions, as cheap as $16.  I’m totally wanting to believe this can be done.

I had to include the video, I just knew you’d want to know.  They even sell a special package for multi-cat households, like mine.

Wine & Cheese ~ 47th Serving

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Welcome to Wine & Cheese, my weekly, Wednesday whine session.

Every week on Wednesday I devote a blog to whining. Despite being a really happy, positive person, I do have things that annoy me at times.

I never let anything grate on my nerves for long but thought it would be fun to vent them periodically in my blogs.

I also feel that good things, the cheese in life, should be acknowledged as well.

I’m even going to throw in a bit of dessert, a piece of virtual chocolate, something that made me laugh or smile just a bit more than normal.

If you’d like to read the past editions of Wine & Cheese just click HERE for all of the past postings.

Sit back and join me now for the 47th serving of some wine and cheese!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

WINE

:(    They’re BAACCCKKKK! Those random hot flashes of edging into the menopausal years of life.  I am far less than thrilled.  I get them in spurts, and currently I seem to be within a phase of said self contained tropical climate outbursts, as out of no where I am suddenly so hot that I could defrost a walk-in freezer.

:(   Dust.  I totally dislike dust.  I wish I could blame the cats but even in the marital residence there was an excessive amount of dust, even if we went at it daily.  I wish I had a solution but I don’t.  One furnace was new with great filters etc, one is probably older than dirt.  This just sucks.

:(   Open windows draw cats.  See, windows are kitty cat television.  And an open window is way, high end viewing as the sound is enhanced and there is fresh air.  Hot flashes = open windows next to me even when it is very cold outside.  Open windows = cats sitting on the edge of my desk which = cat hair on the desk, as the little floozies feel the need to bathe themselves in the fresh air of the open window, leaving behind fur.  Dust, cat hair, hot flashes…I cannot win!

CHEESE

:)   I have a new coffee cup.  It is white  outside, PINK inside (instant love) and says JOY in big, pink letters outside.  In the background it says Joy in light pink letters…oh heck I’ll just show you a picture.  I love this cup.  It was time to retire the mug with the cat on it from the Count.  I won’t get rid of it, just not going to use it for now.

I follow the My One Word idea rather than New Year’s resolutions.  Last year my word was SEEK..as I was seeking my way back to God.  I was searching and praying for a word for 2012 and when I received the coffee cup as a gift, I knew my word for 2012 is JOY.  Finding JOY in the Lord first, and then in all things in life, as I believe there is a silver lining of JOY in all things.

:)   Hee hee…knowing where the last of the Christmas tree cookies are hidden, all 4 of them, and  making them into my breakfast because I’m the only Diva awake in the house.  Waahaahaa!

:)   Looking ahead to the new year, planning and writing down my goals, plotting a course toward them.  All the purging I am doing is helping me to focus on what I am keeping in my life and what I can do with it.  And not taking ‘no’ or ‘can’t’ as an option.  I can. I will.

:)   Embracing being a single woman, REALLY  embracing it and all that it means.  It’s truly all about me this coming year and I’m going to make the most of it and run with it.  Male friends are fine, and going out now and then is fine, but this year I want to focus on ME.  Just me, no ‘us’ but just ME.

DESSERT

Okay now this is funny, I don’t care who you are!  It is NOT directed at my ex-husband or an ex-boyfriend, it is just amusing so I’m sharing it:

A Peek Inside Marvelous

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Brace yourself, I’m going to give you a rare look inside the Marvelous one.  I know that you will be both shocked and amazed at what makes up someone so incredibly wonderful as me.

All kidding aside, this is a small look into the real me, from the inside pages of who I am. It is hard to truly judge a book by it’s cover, but so many people do.  Enjoy the opportunity while it lasts.  While the jacket of the book of Marvelous is colorful and can attract the reader, it is the pages within that few get to see.  Some chapters aren’t for sharing with everyone, but I’m in the mood to reveal some sketchy details from inside the cover, the Forward,of the book of me.

I was born under the sign of the  bull, Taurus.  Being a bible believing Christian I don’t put much stock in horoscopes, but I do believe that in assigning personality traits, God did so by way of the zodiac.  The bible doesn’t say the stars aren’t true, we are warned not to put our faith in the reading of them.  That is likely because God is not bound by anything, least of all that which He created.  If you want to understand me more fully, it doesn’t hurt to know what a Taurus is like.  Our characteristics can play to the good or the bad side of us. I try hard to direct mine toward good.  I am loyal as it gets, I won’t cheat on anyone.  I’m stubborn and will stand my ground.  I have a temper and if provoked will snort, stomp and charge at things, then it dissipates quickly and I’m back to the calm me.  Bulls are strong, I am a strong personality.  I can walk all over someone that is not, so my mate in life has to have a very strong personality too.  Waving a red flag in front of me will not tame my wild side, but TLC and affection never fails.  The negative side of the personality of a Taurus only rears it’s head if incited.

Having a quiet and gentle spirit is an ongoing, work in progress for me.  Being a child of God that is my goal.  I’m the daughter of the King after all.  However you can think of me as the ‘trouble’ child, one of the black sheep in the Royal family.  While I have a submissive spirit toward my mate, it isn’t always quietly walked out. I will balk and make sure you know exactly where I stand, over and over again, but I won’t go against my spouse once a decision has been made.  I am just vocal about it.

Speaking of vocal…I’m not a quiet person.  I laugh loud, talk kinda loud at times, and I cannot help it. Some is just who I am, some is the fact that my hearing isn’t so good so I really do not always notice that my voice is louder than it needs to be.  If you are seeking someone that can be heard when screaming for our favorite football team, I’m your girl.  If you were looking for someone meek and mild, soft spoken? Keep looking or stuff some cotton in your ears.  I am also quick to give my opinion, even when it wasn’t solicited.  I am slowly learning to bite my tongue and keep my mouth shut.  In certain situations I will do just that simply because I’ve learned that when I don’t have a dog in a particular fight, sometimes it is best.  However if it is in regards to a family member or someone I’m close too, all bets are off, I will speak  my mind.  I might wait, as I am doing, for example, until my brother’s divorce is final.  But once the ink has dried, well I have a lot to say and share that might just come as a real shock to folks, especially those hoodwinked into believing the lies of the poor, single mommy…but that is another post yet to come.

That brings me to lies.  I cannot stand lies or people that lie.  Truth is always best.  I know that brutal honesty can be painful at times, but I’d far rather have it then a lie.  Once the pain of a situation has passed, and it always does, I need to be able to trust you, and hold onto your honesty.  Knowing that the people around me are always truthful is more important than my feelings being hurt.  I won’t lie.  But you have to ask the right question to get the answer sometimes.  I will only give you the answer to the question asked. A good example: I had things being sent from all over the country to a friend before his 40th birthday, for 40 days.  He asked me if I had mailed him these things.  I honestly said no.  I hadn’t mailed them.  Others were mailing them for me. :)

I’m insecure at times and need frequent reassurance that I am loved.  A simple hug that is long and strong and those 3 little words will cover it.  Time spent with me, just me, does that as well.  I don’t need fancy or expensive gifts as tokens.  I need my lover, in front of me, spending time with me, talking to me, touching me.  Simple things that carry meaning and significance mean far more than pricy items.  But I need to know your heart is mine, daily.

I am into simple things when it comes to making me happy.  Things that make me smile:  baby feet, kittens, the sound of my mate’s breathing (even snoring) next to me, hugs, unexpected hugs or kisses, my hand in my mate’s, notes stuck in unexpected places, my favorite candy, scented candles, the sound of my cat purring in my ear, a fresh cup of coffee, a cold beer, a text that says I love you, time with someone.  The smells of each season, like wood burning in a fire place, the salty air by the ocean, flowers in the spring, fresh cut grass…the beauty of a sunset or sunrise, the sounds of the birds waking before the sun is up, the crickets at night time.

I have my share of fears, and they are very real to me.  Fire scares me to death, has since I was a child, so don’t be surprised if I won’t sleep in rooms that have windows too high for reasonable escapes, and that I will know exactly where every exit is when I am out eating.  Height terrifies me too, so I avoid high places. I am very claustrophobic so small, tight places freak me out.  Falling is another, so I won’t go where I don’t feel secure from the risk of falling.  I am afraid of the dark and sleep with a night light.  Storms are not a good thing, the more severe the more likely you may find me cowering in the corner of the basement.  Don’t ever make light of these fears, for me they are very real.

I like animals and will always have a pet of some kind, either a cat or a dog.  I’m a reformed cat hater.  A kitten stole my heart and I love her to pieces.  Love  me, love my cat.  We are a package deal.  Don’t look toward the day she is gone, I will have more.  Cats need each other so there will be more than one, females.  I love dogs, lap dogs actually.  Cats shed, their one downfall in my book.  I love toy breed dogs because they don’t shed.  Specifically Yorkies and Maltese.  Westies are cute too just bigger than I prefer.  But to share my life you have to tolerate my pets, because no one is telling me I cannot have them.

Cleaning is something I see as a necessary evil in life.  I cannot stand clutter and things left where they do not belong.  I refer you to my post about where it all goes down when I write.  The photos of my room are as you will find it on any given day at any given moment.  I like things clean and in order.  But I’m a touch OCD about it so I won’t hang out in a room that isn’t in order, messes with my comfort zone.  I hate cleaning the bathroom but will if I have too.

Cooking…I hate it.  Never liked cooking.  I’m a disaster in the kitchen and it is only partially joking when I say I’m not permitted to have sharp objects or use the stove without supervision.  When I tweet or put up on my status for the local fire department to be on standby I’m only half kidding.  I CAN cook, but I really do not find any pleasure in doing so, hence I avoid it.  I know my way around the kitchen but the sooner I am out of there the  happier I am.

I enjoy my laptop.  It allows me to do things I enjoy.  I like Facebook and Twitter, I enjoy playing Farkle and Bingo Blitz.  I love to write, for me it is therapy.  Sometimes I enjoy reading the news, or other blogs.  Don’t belittle me for enjoying the time on the computer.  You have your things you like, I have mine.  I won’t knock anyone for the things they derive relaxation from, to each his/her own.  But just because yours involves physical exertion and mine the computer, doesn’t make me lazy.  Don’t piss me off you will find yourself in my blog, and possibly my novel.

I am forgiving to a fault.  Usually that fault is I get stepped on over and over, or continue to yank the knives out of my back because I forgave and tried to mend the fence.  The shell is hardening and while I might be quick to forgive for my own sake, I’m not inclined to forget as easily and things between me and that person that I feel hurt me may never be quite the same again.

Yes I carry baggage from my past.  So do you, so does everyone.  If not for the baggage I’d be an empty shell.  Our past makes us into our present.  Every lousy, painful thing as well as every wonderful, happy thing make us into the people we are today.  At the core there is the foundation of who we are and that won’t change.  But we are always changing and growing as a person.  The basics will always be the same, but I will change as life happens.  And rather than shun that baggage I carry behind  me, open it up and inspect it closely, it will give you much insight.

I have a past, parts are pretty boring and might cure your insomnia, other parts are pretty colorful and not for family viewing.  But it’s all before you, so don’t judge or condemn who I was before you walked into my life.   Again this is part of who I am and rather than knock it, learn from it about who I am now, not what I was before.  I have to learn most of life’s lessons the hard way, through my own experiences and bad choices, it is just who I am.

PMS happens. While I have had a hysterectomy I still have PMS.  If I say I don’t want to talk about it, or seem irritable, just hug me.   Even if I stiffen up at first, hug me.  I will melt soon enough.  If I say I just want to be left alone and you find me on the bed, in the dark…lay down and wrap around me and just hold me. Don’t analyze it, just hold me.  You won’t figure it out. I live it when it hits and I cannot figure it out.  Medical science cannot put a dent in it either so they just issue good meds and hope we don’t act on homicidal tendencies during those days.

I grew up with guns in the house, and there are guns in my house now.  I may not be the best shot in the hood, but I’m patient enough to wait for you to get in range.  And then I will fill you with all the lead I have.  “Ma’am why did you shoot the intruder 36 times?”,  “well, officer, that is all the rounds I had or I’d have shot the S.O.B. some more”.  You get the picture.  The other Divas are armed too.  It’s how we roll.  We’re not badasses, we simply refuse to be anyone’s victim.  Not to mention that it is OUR stuff, so back the hell out and go screw with someone else.

I don’t cry very easily, but if you hurt my feelings enough, I will.  You are unlikely to know it as I tend to do my crying alone at night.  I’ve been called a baby for crying before so I hide it now.  I’m not a baby but not willing to let you see the hurt.

Tattoos may be ‘trashy’ to you, and I respect your right to think that way.  To me, they are forever art that I carry with me.  Each has significance.  There are 3 now, but there will be more and no one gets to tell me I cannot  have them.  It is your opinion that I am ‘littering’ my body.  If you feel that way that is just fine, and if my having tattoos means you cannot find me sexy and attractive, then kindly move out of the way as there is someone waiting for you to be gone so they can take your place, who finds me to be what they are seeking, ink or no ink.

When I make changes to myself or my  environment, it is rarely subtle.  Furniture is moved around frequently until I find the balance that works for me.  I went from waist length, curly, BIG 80′s hair to very short, as it is now, in one sitting.  I thought about that a long time but when I decided to go for it, it was done and drastic.  I don’t make a change without a lot of thought.  So if I suddenly get a wild hair to make a big change, like dying my hair from it’s natural blond to a black cherry or cherry cola color, it only SEEMS like an impulsive move.  Trust me I have been contemplating it very thoroughly for some time.  Same with the tattoos, I will think it through extensively before I get one.

I don’t collect specific things, like Precious Moments figurines, but I have a collection of odd things.  Each for a reason.  If you look closely at the photo of my room, you will see some of those things.  I nest.  I need a place that is mine to nest in.  A room, an office, a particular corner, wherever it may be I need a nest as a haven where I work, think etc. If folks don’t care for it they can close the door and walk away, but I need MY space.

In some ways I am very public and open.  I use social media, like Facebook, Twitter, blogging and Foursquare.  I am really not at all concerned that the boogie man is stalking me through these avenues.  If you are a private soul you may wish to think things through if you plan to be part of my life on any level.  I check in and tag those around me.  It’s just what I do.  I will use nicknames if you are in my life for any length of time, either one you already have or I assign them as I see fit.  If I give you a nickname and mention you in my blog, you are significant for some reason.  Don’t get too excited, doesn’t mean love just means you played a role on the stage of my life beyond the extras wandering about in the background.  It is love when you land on my “supporting cast” page.  Only the stars in my production make it that far.

My roots are right here, I will not move away.  My family, friends, my entire support network is right here around me.  I won’t move away from them.  I have been all over this great country, and this is HOME.  I won’t move unless they are all  moving with me.  Even then I love this area, the change of seasons, and don’t want to move away from it.  I bitch about the snow and cold, which frankly is hard to deal with having arthritis, but I still won’t move away.

I have arthritis in my hands, neck, back and feet.  I don’t whine about it, I don’t even talk about it unless it is really hurting bad.  My tolerance for pain and my ability to just ignore it is impressive, so if I am saying something about it you can bet that means it is pretty intense.   I also have Ulcerative Colitis.  It stays in remission for very long stretches of time, as in years.  Those are my health issues.  Nothing major just somewhat irritating at times.

My faith is important to me.  I read my bible, I pray, and I have, currently, a somewhat rocky relationship with church.  I don’t wish to debate this with you, any part of it.  The only reason people want to get into a debate about it is it makes them uncomfortable.  Either it makes them feel guilty, or they feel threatened by it, whatever.  I am not going to change what my heart knows to be true, and I’m not going to get into an argument with you because you feel the need to try to prove me wrong.  It is part of who I am, just accept it or find a new friend.

I get jealous easily, and insecure, especially if I am not feeling the love in a relationship.  I am possessive over what is mine and I’m not sharing.  Insecurity happens because a person isn’t getting their needs met.  Mine are simple…I need  daily doses of ‘love on Marti’ through a variety of means..notes, words, touches, hugs.  If my love bank is full, I am not insecure.  But if that bank is running low on recent deposits, then I’m going to get pissy with my mate that has all the time in the  world for the guys, flirting with the cashier or nurses in the ER.  I need time, and the flirts are MINE.  I don’t flirt with others because that is trying to draw attention and the only person I want attention from is my mate.  If my mate needs attention from anyone but me, there is a problem.  If all my attention isn’t enough, then speak up so changes can be made.  If it isn’t my attention you need, hit the door and don’t come back.

Okay, enough peeking inside.

That isn’t even the cliff notes of who I am, but this is one book that is not for the reader who is faint of heart.

Complex, quirky and marvelous. And so many blank pages yet to fill.

Happiness Is Finding The Toilet Seat Down

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Life in a house with 5 women is never dull and boring.  Chaotic, insane, lively, at times a tad hostile (the teen sisters DO fight at times), but never dull and boring.  I will give you a slice of life in my world yesterday:

My daughter asked me if I would like to puppy sit my oldest granddog, Penny, for the day and over night last night.  I love that dog and miss her a bunch since moving out of the prince’s shack so I always say yes.  She arrived, cute as ever before lunch time with her security froggie (a stuffed toy she is into of late) and food to get us through her visit.  Oh and treats, because Divas spoil their pets.  Now, Penny had some bloating issues yesterday and was “in a mood” as the daughter put it.  Seems my son had friends over to party round the fire pit and pool the night before and while he denies it, the dogs were treated to people food.  This is bad news for me, because I know what the end result is going to be, something similar to what happened when Penny spent the night and ate all the cat food when no one was looking. If you’ve ever had  a dog with a lower GI issue you will appreciate that tale.

During the afternoon, when the gurgling finally gave way to harsh reality for the pooch, I was sound asleep on my bed.  I had struggled hard with insomnia the night before so I was beat.  My sister fortunately had the dog outside and a major, smelly disaster was averted. We ate dinner on the deck  with Penny getting her cable all tangled in chair legs  trying to find food droppings.  I swear if you split a 25 pound bag of food open on the floor, that dog  would eat until she split down the sides and burst open like a bratt on the grill.  When she wasn’t doing that she was on bunny watch,  as if she could catch one.

Living in a house of women has its benefits.  Aside from interesting displays of  hormonal outbursts (all of which are destined for future novels I am writing), are the positives.  You can always find the perfect outfit to wear, someone has something you can use, in your size and color.  Makeup? Never a problem.  With 4 Avon Ladies in the house we have every color under the sun, may we help you?  We have no less than 20 bath gels, shampoos and conditioners in the one shower alone!  What would you like to smell like today? We have you covered, we can fix a sista up!  There are more combs and brushes in this house than silverware.

Near bedtime I was relaxing, hooking a blanket and sipping a glass of wine.  I had just hung up the phone with The Count (have I mentioned I’m totally in love? Dating Diary update later today) when I heard what sounded like a bird hit my screen outside of my window.  Penny? Na she doesn’t even lift her head, some guard dog she is turning out to be this time.  Usually she barks at every noise she hears.  I looked out of the blinds and my brother’s car is in the driveway.  About that time voices reach us and Penny is out of my room running to see what is up.  She never did bark.  Not until later after he and mom visited and he was going downstairs, then she barks at him.  Nice, glad he wasn’t an intruder, bit delayed on the alert system.

When I went to bed last night I knew that I would likely have to get up with the dog, that last episode is still deeply ingrained in my mind.  Sure enough, around 3am she went from being curled up against my leg, to up against my chest, nose to nose, grunting and whining.  There was definite urgency in her communication, I wasn’t ignoring this the risk was too great.  I got right out of bed and when I opened my door she was all the way downstairs and at the back door before I could get to the end of the hallway.

I opened the sliding screen door and noticed a silhouette of a very odd looking bug on the glass of the sliding door…naturally on the inside.  And it was big.  I am night blind so that is about all the detail I  could make out..big, weird shaped and on the inside.  Oh swell.  I closed the screen door and went and got a paper towel.  The draw back of no men in the house is that sooner or later we have to kill creepy crawly things ourselves.  I am usually the one that does this and more times than I care to count it is with my fist as there is nothing handy in a hurry to use to squash the little @#$%^&* !  Thankfully, with cats around, it doesn’t happen often.  A bug is a toy to a cat.

I found the paper towels via the bright light given off by the microwave oven clock, and the light shining in the window from the deck.  I should mention that on top of being night blind, I am terrified of the dark.  Not sure what happened to all the night lights around this place but it is damn dark  down here  in the kitchen, and the family room is like the black hole.  I’m less than thrilled about all this as I go to kill the bug.  Slide open screen, crunch and squish.  YUCK, my skin is crawling.  I put the dog outside on her cable and wait.  I have the light off on the back porch to avoid drawing any other multi-legged flying or crawling things to the door.  Now I am hear something moving in the grass in the yard, moving toward the woods.  Most likely a deer but I’m down here and my gun is up in my room, so knowing my luck it would be the boogie man.

Finally the dog is done purging whatever my son fed her, and we go inside.  I give her a treat, because that is what I do when she alerts me to the need to be outside, NOW, and not on my bedroom floor.  Now I need to use the bathroom.  If you live with males you know that the odds are always good that if you sit down on the toilet in the dark, you are in for a wet, cold surprise….the seat will not be down.  I smiled to myself there in the dark, no such rude, late night surprises when you live with all women!  :)

Me and pupperdoo made our way back to bed.  I love that she is a snuggler, but my cat is not impressed.  She stayed away for the night opting to sleep with the other cats rather than in with me and the dog.  I woke at 6am to the alarm clock, followed by smelly pup (dear daughter, this dog NEEDS a bath) up in my nose again whining.

Between letting the dog out, feeding little people breakfast, trying to feed cats and keep the dog out of their food, I have yet to have an entire, hot  cup of coffee.  BUT the toilet seat…is still down!

I love my life :)

Rotisserie Kitty? NOT!

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Piece of very valuable advice to my cat loving friends, and anyone else silly enough to make this mistake:  Cats do NOT like Akitas.

My daughter has a beautiful Akita that she rescued from a shelter.  The vets feel she is a pure bred, approximately 2 years old.  She is gorgeous in my opinion.  A big teddy bear unless you pose some threat to my baby girl at which point, based on some playful fun, we’re certain she will eat you. Alive. Showing no mercy.  Just like I want her to be should my daughter be in danger.  This dog is currently on puppy prozac because she suffers separation anxiety when my daughter is not home.  When she is home the dog is her constant shadow.  The Yorkie my daughter has is a snob, wants nothing to do with the Akita.  Won’t play with her, barely tolerates her, and dominates this huge beast that could swallow her whole.  She is the alpha dog and the big dog respects her place in the pecking order of the household pack.

The granddogs discussing who will steal the blueberry pie

Yesterday she brought my granddogs over to see me and have lunch.  Now as you may recall (see my supporting cast) we have 3 cats.  They all have met the Yorkie and were not impressed.  It is mutual as the Yorkie doesn’t seem to grasp how to play with a cat so she is useless to them and they they to her.  No threat there, my cat and my niece’s (Pixel and Ditzy) have both slept on my bed at night  with the Yorkie without issue.   But the cats had never seen the Akita.

Now you would think I’d have more brains than what I am about to share but I have my blond moments.

Ditzy was cautiously checking out Okelani, the Akita.  Lani was out on the deck, with the sliding screen door closed.  We wondered how the cats would take to her, and she to the cats.  So me, in a moment of temporary insanity, picked up Ditzy and took her close to the screen door.  My first clue that this was not a smart thing to do should have been that while she was checking Okelani out from a distance, her tail was kinda puffed out, Christmas tree tail is what my daughter calls it.

As I approached the door, I felt the cat stiffen.  Again, do you think I’d get the hint? Hell no, I kept getting closer.  My daughter was prepared to hold Lani if need be.  While she didn’t make a sound, Okelani must have given the poor cat the impression that she was envisioning said feline as a rotisserie kitty, cooking over a nice fire.  I say this because all of a sudden I heard the hiss from hell come from Ditzy, it was borderline roaring, her tail exploded into the biggest, puffiest black thing I have ever seen and she blotted the scene.  In doing so she dug her claws into my arms to launch her flight over my shoulder, then across the kitchen table and down to her owner’s room.  I have multiple puncture wounds on my arms, deep ones.

My daughter suggested I wash them quickly, as I am allergic to cats, and then I put on topical Benadryl.  I missed one on my upper arm, and it is bruised and quite irritated today.  The others are not nearly as bad, thankfully.

Yeah, NOT one of my shining moments for certain.

Wine & Cheese – 35th Serving

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Welcome to Wine & Cheese, my weekly, Wednesday whine session.

Every week on Wednesday I devote a blog to whining. Despite being a really happy, positive person, I do have things that annoy me at times.

I never let anything grate on my nerves for long but thought it would be fun to vent them periodically in my blogs.

I also feel that good things, the cheese in life, should be acknowledged as well.

I’m even going to throw in a bit of dessert, a piece of virtual chocolate, something that made me laugh or smile just a bit more than normal.

If you’d like to read the past editions of Wine & Cheese just click HERE for all of the past postings.

Sit back and join me now for the 35th serving of some wine and cheese!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

WINE

:(    Beer and toothpaste are a a really bad combo!!  I washed my face and brushed my teeth last night, forgetting I still had half a glass of beer to finish.  Without thinking I picked it up and took a drink, BLECK!!!! The rest went down the drain…alcohol abuse.

:(   Akitas and cats do not mix and no the cat does NOT wish to meet the Akita even with a screen between them.  I have the punctures and scratches from the claws of Miss Ditzy kitty to prove it. More on that in a post later today.

:(   Seasonal allergies suck!  I have a feeling it is mold from all the rain (4+ inches in one afternoon) that resulted in a “river running through it” in our backyard and standing water.  My meds are doing wonders for the cats but not this.  ACHOOOO!

CHEESE

:)   The weather has been SO beautiful!  Breezy, warm but not humid, sunny and just spectacular!!

:)   My sister bought me the PINK Greatest Hits So Far CD….I LOVE THIS and have been playing it almost non-stop!

:)   I LOVE where I live!!  Our deck feels like you are sitting in a tree house, it is surrounded by trees and the woods come up to the back yard.  And many mornings we are treated to deer in the back yard, a beautiful site I never get tired of seeing!

DESSERT

Responsible. Who wants to be responsible? Whenever anything bad happens, it’s always “Who’s responsible for this?” ~ from FUNNYONELINERS Twitter Feed

T.G.I.FLIPPING FRIDAY!!!!

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Coffee – check!

Poptarts – check! (yes I know, healthy eating…If I wasn’t so tired I’d make old fashioned oatmeal)

I have absolutely no idea where all this is going to end up going, haven’t had quite enough caffeine to safely point in any one direction.

Wish List addition:  Pink sequenced high top tennis shoes.  Yes really.  I am insanely jealous this morning of Princess Smiles A Lot.  I saw these adorable shoes in her size in the Avon brochure and couldn’t resist.  She is sporting them for the first time today and I’m experiencing some serious shoe envy!!!!  She even paired them with white socks that have bright, multi-colored polka dots all over them.  If they sold them in my size I’d own these bad boys and wear them.  On the back of my friend’s motorcycle, with a bright pink streak in my hair, and my black tank top with the pink, Playboy Bunny head edged in rhinestones.  Totally jealous of my fashion sense, aren’t you! Don’t hate me,  we all can’t be trend setters.

I have been moonlighting at yet a 3rd job.  I am a Fairy. *smiling proudly, then spots the look of skepticism on your faces*  I am TOO!!!!  Out of paper towels and have a spill to clean up?  Sitting on the throne and discover one lone sheet on the cardboard roll?  Prance your little paws to the litter box only to discover it is full of sh*t??  DO NOT PANIC!  The Restock-Fairy will come to your rescue!!!  Under the cover of darkness I stumble fly to the linen closet and attempt to get a roll of toilet tissue out while trying not to loudly crinkling the cellophane wrapping flutter my wings too loudly and wake the household at midnight.  I dig out the scooper wave my magic wand and PRESTO MAGICO! the litter box is free of kitty deposits and smells fresh and clean!  OH and sometimes I put on my tiara and become The Laundry Fairy!  I attack the ever growing pile of clothes  fight the evil dragon and win!  Oh yeah, I rock!

That bruise on my foot never got very dark, but dang it is still hurting.  I really need to exercise a bit of caution when going up and down the steps over  the baby gate. This morning I twisted my knee on one trip over it.  I am a complete disaster waiting to happen this week!  So thankful for the weekend.

These blasted cats are whittling away their 9 little lives really fast lately.  I woke up this morning to Ditzy playing with a sandwich baggie on my floor.  At one time it was on the kitchen counter and contained medication for the baby’s cheek and baby Ora-Gel.  Lord only knows where the Ora-Gel is, I haven’t located it yet but I hope if she bit into it that her mouth was numb for hours, the brat cat!  If you happen to spy the little tube please leave it on the kitchen counter, I suspect the little Ms. Thang is getting more teeth.  That is because she chews on anything that she finds including her brother’s ankles.

Oh and would you look at that, I have a comment that might spawn a question and answer session, or at the least a new entry, in the Dating Diaries.  Imagine that, coming to me for advice.  *Digging wildly in her dress-up trunk* Ah Ha! Found it!  Time to put on my Queen of Useless Information Advice Tiara and respond to that question :)

And yes, I am seriously UNDER caffeinated this morning,  does it show?

Peace Out!

Friday Featured Friend

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Friday Featured Friend Feline

Today I am featuring one of the Diva Den cats, Ms. Ditzy, who feels she  needs a soap box to air some grievance she has with me.  So, I decided to let her have at it.  She is our 3rd, and for now, final cat addition.  Roughly 6 months old, we refer to her as our ‘special’ cat, as in mentally touched.  She is NOT the brightest bulb in the box.  Here she is with her first post:

Greetings to all of you, my name is Goddess, you may call me Princess.  I am well aware that the staff refer to me as ‘Ditzy’ but that is their disrespectful name for me.  I am royalty, after all.  I mean, look at that photo, that is a true Princess, don’t you agree?  Of course you do.

I’m more than just a tiny bit miffed of late at the staff member that feeds us fabulous felines,  the one you know as Marvi Marti.  As far as her duties of feeding us, we give her a ‘C+’.  Too many evenings she arrives back at the palace late,  or just seems to forget us, how rude!

But it isn’t her lack of attention to our food dishes that has my tail puffed up like a Christmas tree.  It is her inability to accept that the one she refers to as Mr. Wonderful, belongs to ME!  He is the staff member in charge of entertaining me, and my most adored play thing.  SHE thinks he is here for  her and frequently distracts him from his duties: playing games with me.  It brushes my fur the wrong way, and it simply must stop!

My very favorite game is fetch.  Stop gasping, we cats taught the game to dogs, they just try to pretend they thought of it first.  Seriously, dogs have  no brains whatsoever.  Kick them and the fools come back wagging their tails.  Kick us? OH big mistake, we will poo in your bed, chew the tassels off your favorite shoes, fling the litter box contents all over, or trip you in attempts to kill you on the stairs.  We cats are gods, get used to it.  We punish those that serve us when they are incompetent or anger us.

Let me tell you what this not so marvelous one does.  My man-toy arrives and as the staff opens the door, there I am sitting pretty as can be near the door awaiting his adoration.  What does the Marvi do? Steps in between he and I and into his arms, making him hold and kiss her.  I know, right? HOW RUDE!!!  Then he tries to appease me after the wench has gotten her fill.  REALLY not happy about this at all.

Do you think she is at all lagging in making sure he has something to eat? OH no!  She will wait on his every need, getting him a drink and even turns her phone off and puts her computer away.  Unless of course he wants to dance with her, then he puts on romantic music and turns the lights down and dances with her, even singing to her!  Do you think he ever thinks to hold me and dance  with me, the goddess he is here to entertain? OH no, she has him all to herself and refuses to give him up!

The past three evenings he has come over to play games with me and entertain my wonderful self.  At first, once she was done slobbering all over him at the door, he sat on the floor throwing my crinkle.  I impressed him with my abilities to jump and twist in the air (we taught dogs to do that while chasing frisbees), then landing feather light on my paws.  I would walk all regally back to him, dropping the crinkle at his side allowing him to continue our little game.  While retrieving the crinkle, I find SHE has once again diverted his focus to HER.  There he is, head in her lap while she is rubbing his head and cooing at him!  Or worse yet, has  her head in HIS lap while he is rubbing her head!  REALLY????  And do you think he requests a back scratch from me,  the one with the natural claws? OH no, he asks her, the lowly food wench,  to use her fake talons to scratch his lovely, muscled and tattooed back.  It makes me want to heave up a hairball in her shoes.

One would think this staff member would be tripping over herself to please me after stealing my man-toy, but no, she continues to ignore every opportunity to pay me homage.  She has a window kitty cat television right next to the desk lounging platform in her sleep chambers.  There are few things we felines enjoy like watching our kitty TV.  Do you think she raises the blinds turns it on when I paw the ledge and ‘meow’? Oh no,  she shoos me of the room and closes the door.  She doesn’t seem to grasp that there are NO doors ever to be closed to us of tailed divinity.  NONE of our staff seems to understand this.  HUMANS! Such simple minded low life they are.

MEMETASTIC – THE TRUTH REVEALED!

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Yesterday I put up the 5 ‘facts’ for readers to determine which one of the 5 was true.  The idea was to show my skill at embellishing things, criteria for the acceptance of the MEMETASTIC award.  Any believable tale must have a grain of truth in order for it to at least seem like it could indeed be fact.

I posted 5 facts, each with just enough truth to be believed as possibly true, but only one was true.  Time for the big reveal!!!

:: DRUM ROLL::

TRUE OR GREATLY EMBELISHED FALSE?

F :)   Everyone who reads my posts knows that I am a reformed cat hater.  Call me the Crazy Cat Lady, I love the little fur balls now.  We have 3 cats in our home, all females.  While we aren’t overly picky about which breed of feline we have, we insist that they all have to be polydactyl cats!  Yes each of our kittens has more than the normal amount of toes on their paws!  Usually cats have 5 toes on their front paws, ours have 6 or 7 depending on the cat.  Nothing normal about the Diva Den, why would we have normal cats?

While it is a fact that I am reformed from hating cats, loving them to pieces, we do not have a single polydactyl (aka Hemingway) among them.  Frankly the last thing we need is a cat who has anymore reason to presume itself special!

F :)   I love being pampered, and one of the ways in which I pamper myself is getting my nails done.  I have had acrylic nails nearly ongoing for about 7 years now.  I never got pedicures often, too expensive and frankly I don’t have real cute feet so why draw attention to them was my thought.  Recently I noticed a trend at the nail salon in which women are getting acrylic nails on their feet!!  I finally gave in and decided I have nothing to lose so had them done on my toes.  For the first time I feel like I have great feet, all nicely painted on those picture perfect, acrylic nails.  Now, I love my feet, and if it was not so cold I’d have flip flops on already to show them off!

It is true, I have had my nails done for years, and love that, I find the whole getting one’s toenails done to be just kinda freaky!  NO thanks, I’ll just stick to a pedi and some pretty polish.

F :)   Two of my supporting cast, my brother Mike, and his wife, Trina, are actually both my cousins.  Mike is a cousin from my mom’s side.  His mom was one of my mother’s first cousins who was pregnant out of wedlock.  She wanted to keep him in the family, but was unable to raise him.  My parents adopted him and raised him as their own.  Trina is one of my cousins, our dad’s are brothers.  They always had a special friendship and attraction to each other growing up.  As an adult, Mike consulted with a lawyer and found that because he was a second cousin to us siblings, and not a birth child of my parents, he and Trina were not related and therefore not really cousins.  They have been happily married for 18 years and have 2 kids. So, my sister-in-law is also my cousin, and my niece and nephew are actually like 2nd cousins once removed or something weird like that.

I loved that many of you thought this was true, as it IS rather believable that it could indeed happen.  However Mike is my blood brother (all of my siblings are blood) and Trina is related by marriage only.

T :)   In a bizarre twist of fate, we grew up with a cousin as a neighbor and never knew it.  The boy behind us was around the age of one of my brothers when we were growing up.  I received a friend request from him all these years later, and did not recognize his name any longer.  He told me that he was my cousin, and had grown up in the house behind us.  I thought it was a stalker at first, since I knew the kid behind us and they were not related to us.  Turns out, my dad’s cousin had given birth out of wedlock and placed him for adoption.  All that time growing up we had a cousin living there and playing with my brothers and never knew it!

This is the true story/fact!  Growing up the kid behind us, Bobby, actually turns out was a cousin.  His birth mom and my dad are cousins.  It was all these years later that he asked to be my friend on Facebook then explained to me why.  His adoptive parents remembered our last name so when he found his birth mom, and learned his birth name,  (it is highly unique) he hunted down his unknown cousins.  Kinda cool!

F :)   One time when getting my nails done, it was taking longer than anticipated at the salon due to a high volume of customers.  I was last in line so when my now ex-husband came to pick me up they had just started my nails.  He was irritated by the delay so I convinced him, with a little help from the nail tech that was now free, to get a pedicure.   He finally gave in and found out it was a rather NICE experience.  If you have ever had one, you know that they will put clear polish on your toe nails if you aren’t having color done.  After some teasing he acquiesced and let them paint his toe nails bright red.  He has worn them red, to my knowledge, ever since.  Turns out he found having his toe nails colored was a kind of turn on for him.

I would NEVER post something like that about Pete/ex-hubbster if that were true!  Pretty sure none of the firefighters fell for that one, as they have undoubtedly seen his feet a few times at the fire house.  He was irritated, and he did get a pedicure after a LOT of pressure (Hey, Chad Ocho Cinco gets them weekly, as do many men, more men should keep their feet looking nice!!) I do not believe it was an experience he ever repeated and he drew the line in the fun me and the nail techs were having (at  his expense – though he was a good sport), when it came time to polish his piggies.  He enjoyed the massage chair, the foot and calve massage, but he drew the line on nail  polish!!

There you have it, the truth and the fabrications!!

Wine & Cheese – 26th Serving

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Welcome to Wine & Cheese, my weekly, Wednesday whine session.

Every week on Wednesday I devote a blog to whining. Despite being a really happy, positive person, I do have things that annoy me at times.

I never let anything grate on my nerves for long but thought it would be fun to vent them periodically in my blogs.

I also feel that good things, the cheese in life, should be acknowledged as well.

I’m even going to throw in a bit of dessert, a piece of virtual chocolate, something that made me laugh or smile just a bit more than normal.

If you’d like to read the past editions of Wine & Cheese just click HERE for all of the past postings.

Sit back and join me now for the 26th serving of some wine and cheese!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

WHINE

:( I have to get this out of my system this morning…I AM SO SICK OF WINTER!!!!!  Sick of cold, sick of ice, sick of the @#$%^&*! SNOW!!!  Enough said, everyone is likely in agreement and what more can be said about Snowpocolypes or Snowmageden, whatever you want to call this winter storm nonsense!

:(   I am also tired of whatever this cold bug, sinus infection is, it is time for it to go bye-bye!  Finally was able to sleep last night without the aid of my Nyquil induced coma.   Now if I could just quit blowing my nose and feeling so tired I’d be happy.

:(   Brace yourselves, we’re going to talk about poop.  Cat poop to be exact.  One of these 3 felines has something very wrong in their digestive track and the smell is worse than anything I’ve experienced in a baby diaper.   Best diet program I’ve encountered, cleaning up a litter box used by a cat with a questionable issue in their bowels.  (See, one doesn’t have to be a mommy blogger to talk about poop!)

CHEESE

:)   ANTIBIOTICS!!!  The  single greatest discovery in medical history, at least in my opinion this week as it seems to be the only reason I finally started feeling better.  Can I get an AMEN?

:)   COFFEE!!!  I gotta say that right now nothing beats a fresh, hot cup of coffee in the morning.  All the better if served up in one of my favorite coffee cups!  Yep, makes your breath smell like butt, however what would the morning be without it?  It would be a sad morning without the hot cup of  java!

:)   SPARKPEOPLE!!!  I’ve neglected to use my SparkPeople account as being sick the last thing I even remotely cared about was what was being fed to my tummy.  But today we are back on the Spark, watching every little morsel that will enter through my mouth.  BRAVO ME!!!!  It is AWESOME and FREE and you will love it if you want to get fit, healthy, lose weight etc.  There is a link on the side bar over  yonder on the right –>

DESSERT

:)   :)   :)   Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.  ~Author Unknown :)   :)   :)

Yawn, Hurl, Yuck…

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I am EXHAUSTED.  And sick.  Some how I managed to contract the cold or whatever from hell and lose my voice.  My head is stuffed up, I am lucky to get out enough voice to even be heard, and last night had the pukey stuff to go with it.  This so is NOT what I wanted to be doing.  I wore out completely what little voice I did have by the time I finished work yesterday.  Just after crawling in bed and drifting off to sleep last night I was suddenly wide awake and very very sick.  Without much  detail it is suffice to say that  I never made it out of my room, and owe my sister big time.  I was completely unable to sleep all night between the sour stomach, mega night sweats and not being able to breathe.  I stayed home from work today and slept as much as possible.

The cats seemed to pick up on the fact that I was not well, as they all came and checked on me several times.  Noel was in bright and early this morning and groomed my hair line on my forehead.  That is a big hairy deal as she is anti-social.  Guess they were worried that the food wench (I am the one that typically feeds them both times in the day) might be on her death bed.

Ditzy napping with me

My cat slept at my feet quite often.  Then later, during an afternoon snooze,  little Ditzy kitten came and  napped with me.  She is such a doll.  While the other two will check on you, Ditzy is a cuddler and she wanted to snuggle in for her sick watch over me.  She purred for close to 20 minutes, even as she drifted to sleep, which was flat out adorable.

Wine & Cheese – 24th Serving

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Welcome to Wine & Cheese, my weekly, Wednesday whine session.

Every week on Wednesday I devote a blog to whining. Despite being a really happy, positive person, I do have things that annoy me at times.

I never let anything grate on my nerves for long but thought it would be fun to vent them periodically in my blogs.

I also feel that good things, the cheese in life, should be acknowledged as well.

I’m even going to throw in a bit of dessert, a piece of virtual chocolate, something that made me laugh or smile just a bit more than normal.

If you’d like to read the past editions of Wine & Cheese just click HERE for all of the past postings.

Sit back and join me now for the 24th serving of some wine and cheese!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

WINE

I am whining about cats this week.  As in the 4 legged, long tailed, obnoxious fur ball kind of cats.

THEY ARE THIEVES!  They like to steel stuff from us all and hide it, or play with it, or even eat it!  Ditzy helped her cute self to my blue tooth last week.  I had it with my purse, Kindle and phone on my bed before I left for work.  She made off with the blue tooth and my mom later found it  in the living room.  I had seen her playing with it but thought it was a cat toy.  The piece that goes over the ear? Well half is missing having been bitten off, and there are teeth marks all over the remainder.

THEY CANNOT TELL  TIME! Or maybe they can, and it is just the weekend thing that throws them off?  I like to sleep in on Saturday morning, it is my only day to enjoy this luxury.  Granted, my alarm goes off at 5am during the week, so 7-7:30am IS extra sleep, but my idea of sleeping in is say 9 or 10!  Pixel begins her morning assault at no later than 6:30am.  She gets up on the dresser or desk and begins moving objects around.  If I do not react she knocks them off to the floor.  I get up, go put out fresh food and go back to bed.  Soon, she comes back and brings her posse, Ditzy, and they start the tag teaming.  If the moving of objects doesn’t work, they wrestle….on the bed.  If I do finally give in and get up, they move on.  They don’t want anything other than to have someone else up and about.

MY CAT NEEDS A SHRINK! We already know that Ditzy is ‘special’. To say she is mentally challenged is being very nice.  She is fortunate that she is so adorable, it allows us to look past her lack of brain matter.  My cat, Pixel, needs a kitty cat psychiatrist.  She used to use the litter box like she invented the thing and fine tuned it.  But now? She won’t allow her paws to touch the litter to cover her deposits.  Instead she circus performs around the edge of the litter box, scraping the plastic liner, as if that is going to be effective.  Sooner or later she gives up and leaves, and Noel goes in and in complete disgust, while glaring at Pixel, covers the down load that was left behind.  Here, a visual aid, maybe some other cat owner can help us? We’ve tried changing litter, nothing seems to work.

CHEESE

Not all things cat related are bad, some are quite good!

We found a new litter, World’s Best Cat Litter and, while I am not one to do a product endorsement, I have too.  THIS STUFF ROCKS!  No annoying perfumes, just NO odor.  The stuff is amazing.  Of course, you have to change the litter on a regular basis, but this stuff is really good.  For the go-green folks, you will love this, it is made from corn! Yep whole kernel corn!  It is amazing stuff.  If you go to the website you can get a coupon to get a bag free (by rebate).  We in the Diva Den highly recommend and endorse this product!

Cats are endlessly entertaining.  We often spend Saturday mornings sitting in the living room watching them stalk, pounce and fight with each other or cat toys.  They are such a riot to observe!  And we’ve all learned from our 3 felines, take time to play! Silly, crazy, wacky, FUN play.  I read recently that cats NEED to have play time to avoid getting mental? Well so do we humans.  We can learn a lot from our cats!

Cats provide the greatest means of recycling register receipts.  Assuming there are no coupons on the back that can be used, of course.  We call them crinkles, a ball made of a long register receipt.  This too will provide endless entertainment to us and the cats, who will play soccer with the crinkle.  Now we know that there are crinkle  balls that can be purchased, we have those, and the cats prefer the home made ones.  One crinkle and 3 cats = lots of laughs.  It should be noted that if the crinkle ball by chance lands in the water bowl, it is no longer a good play toy and should be disposed of! This will disappoint the cats.

DESSERT

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
More funny Anonymous quotes
*** Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
More funny Anonymous quotes
*** Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
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*** In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats.
More funny English proverb quotes
*** As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
More funny Ellen Perry Berkeley quotes
*** One cat just leads to another.
More funny Ernest Hemingway quotes

Day 7 – A Photo That Makes Me Happy

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All About Me In 30 Days – Day 7

This is one of those topics in the All About Me series that is difficult.  I have a LOT of photos that make me happy.  So, I refuse to pick just one because I’m like that, incorrigible to a fault, I just have to do things MY way.  :)

So here are a few photos that make me happy and a brief explanation as to why.

This is my Charlie Brown Christmas tree sitting on my dresser in my room.  Charlie Brown Christmas is one of my favorite Christmas shows and I just thought it was a hoot when someone decided to market the tree.  My sister bought it for me and those are the reasons why this photo makes me happy.

:)

The family room at the Diva Den.  It makes me happy when I see this photo because this house is so full of fun, laughter and love.  I love having a fire place and I LOVE Christmas.  It is SO wonderful to be in a home where everyone just loves the holidays.  We have lots of elves in this house but not a single Scrooge.

:)

This picture makes me happy because it is typically where I find my cat, Pixel, in places she knows she should NOT be.  This was taken this Fall when I went in my room in the morning after getting coffee and found her sitting on the dresser.  She likes to get up there and knock things off the dresser when I’m sleeping in the morning if she feels it is way past the time for me to be awake.  She has learned this method is effective, it gets a response and I finally give up and get out of bed.

:)

And this photo always makes me smile because one of Pixel’s favorite games is peek-a-boo. She gets in between the 10 (yes 10) pillows on my bed and hides.  She thinks I cannot see her peeking out between the pillows waiting for me to get close, then she reaches out a paw and quickly pokes me and vanishes back between them.  She thinks she is so stealthy!  It IS a fun game and she is so playful that it makes me happy when I see it, reminding me when all else fails, the cat loves me!