Category Archives: Thought Questions

The Best Job In The World

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WHAT IS THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD?

The one you are doing that you LOVE to do!

Nothing is worse than getting up in the morning and going to a job you don’t like.  It eats at you and will impact your over all job performance.  I have been there and it is really hard.  Your stress level gets  on the ceiling easily, you are miserable, you don’t sleep or eat right, just not good.  It doesn’t matter if it pays outstanding money, if you are not happy that money isn’t going to make it more tolerable.

When you love what you do, it doesn’t matter how much or little it pays, you LIKE getting up and  going to work.  Certainly, even in a job we love, there are days we just want to pull the pillow over our head and go back to sleep.  Maybe a big project is due, or maybe we just didn’t get enough rest. Either way, if over all we enjoy our work  it is easier to excel.

I am there  right now, I love what I do.  Kids are  a blast and watching them has been the best employment option I have ever chosen.  It is not great money, but it is GOOD money and at the end of the day  I  am tired but feel good about my day.  I love working for myself, it is a whole different world now.  Between the kids and working sales for Avon, I am far happier and less stressed, way more  relaxed, than I have ever been at any job.

The best job in the world is the one you WANT to be doing!

What Does The Child Inside You Long For?

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What  does my inner child long for?

Milk and cookies after nap time.

Afternoon nap time!

Faith like a child’s.

To not be judged because I ‘color outside the lines’ in the way I live life.

To sit on the beach and squish sand between my toes, close my eyes and let the sound of the waves hitting the shore melt my cares away and heal my heart.

Simple times when the most crucial situation of the day was refilling my bubble bottle so I could sit on the porch and blow bubbles.  Which by the way is excellent therapy!

To dance in the rain with someone special.

To walk with that person hand in hand.

To really love again, and be loved in return.

To know that excitement again when my honey is home…even after 22 years of marriage I still got butterflies when my hubby got home from work, his touch still made my heart race, I loved him that much.  I want to love someone like that again, to where 20 years later my heart skips a beat when he comes through the door.

To have someone sleeping next to me instead of my teddy bear.  I miss waking up and hearing the soothing sound of someone breathing next to me, and feeling their arms wrapped around me, keeping me safe.

To know what it feels like to have someone say “I do” and “for better or worse, for rich or for poor, in good times and bad, in sickness and health, til death do us part” and really mean it….forever!

Are you happy with where you are in your life? Why?

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Today’s thought question:Add an Image

Are you happy with where you are in your life? Why?

I am very much so, thanks for asking!

Why….

Because I made up my mind to be, that is why.

In keeping with my post on who impacts my life the most….I decide to be happy.

18 months ago my road in life took a detour.  No one asked me if I wanted to make this sudden change in direction.  Like anytime we are driving down a road and cannot go the way we planned, it threw me for a curve.  Okay to be honest it pretty much derailed my choo choo.  But it has all turned out for the best.

One day last Fall, my best bud, Mr. Wonderful, picked me up on the bike and we headed east.  No destination in mind, no clue where we were going, we just road like we stole the thing and kept going.  It was fantastic.  With no real plan, we cruised along state routes and back roads enjoying the wind in our hair and the sights and sounds around us.

My life for a year and a half has been much like that day trip, I have no clue where I am headed.  At first this was unnerving and even a bit frightening, but I learned to sit back and enjoy the ride.  I stop when I want, move on when I please.  I make choices for myself I couldn’t have when married because I am only worried about how things impact me at the moment.  Over the course of this detour I have learned so much about myself, things I needed to know.  I’ve done some serious pruning and removed things that were either not so attractive about myself, or simply had outlived their usefulness.

I live with 4 incredible women, family that while I was close to them, I now know them so much better and in such different ways.  We never run out of things to talk about, a day doesn’t go by that we don’t laugh a lot, and every single day one if not all of us expresses how much we love this house.  We know what a blessing the detour in my life, which caused a major detour in their lives, has been for us all.

I learned a few lessons about love in that time, things that will help me in future relationships.  One thing is that I will never allow myself to view a potential mate as someone I can live with, that would be settling.  I look for that man that I cannot imagine living without him in my life.  Not one I cannot live without, that isn’t a healthy situation.  I don’t NEED anyone.  But this will be a man I cannot imagine living without him being a part of my day, my night, my dreams, happiness, sadness, fears and hopes.  Not someone that completes me, I am whole all on my own.  But rather someone that compliments me and I him, someone to go through the next stage of life as a partner.

Life is what we make it.  We chose to enjoy it and live each day to the fullest, embracing it…..or we chose to let it beat us down, depress us, and feel sorry for ourselves.

Yes, I am VERY happy with where I am in my life right now, IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE!

My Chosen Superpower

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If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

I  would want the power to heal….a healing touch.

But not to heal the physical wounds like broken bones, or illness such as colds and flu.

I have often wished  I had to power  to heal broken hearts…

Our hearts…not the ones pumping blood through our bodies, but the ones that feel emotions.  We cannot find them when we open up the physical body, they are not something that can be held in the hand and examined.  They have no substance that can be viewed, and yet they are very real and can hurt more, and deeper, and take longer to heal than any part of our physical bodies.

Loss of someone or something that is dear to us causes our hearts to hurt.  We’ve all experienced this pain, wounds to a part  of us that cannot be found, cannot be bandaged. Harsh and mean words  or actions bruise that deep place within us.  When death takes someone from our lives, it causes a tear in the tender flesh of our most fragile part.  When someone we love walks out of our lives, they tear a piece of the fabric of that heart, sometimes ripping it  apart completely.  At times the loss is so intense our hearts are completely shattered.

There is no way to fix this delicate piece of us…no stitches can close the wounds, no glue can put the pieces back together,  no medication can be applied to lessen the severity of the scars the injuries will leave behind.  No antibiotic to keep out the infection of bitterness that can seep in making the wounds fester and ooze unattractiveness that others see.   At least nothing medical science can supply will heal a broken heart.

So many times I’ve watched tears flow from the eyes and down the cheeks of a soul in agony and could only hold them while they suffered.  I’ve listened to a friend talking of a loss, hearing the pain and confusion in their voice.  And I felt so powerless, so incredibly helpless to ease that torment.

I’ve also been the one with the tears, pain and confusion, my heart destroyed and experiencing more hurt than I ever imagined possible.  Pain so deep it hurt to breathe, to  think, to even exist.  And beyond the point of being able to receive comfort,  so deep nothing could penetrate the pain to sooth the wounds.  My heart laying in ICU on life support, deep in a coma of suffering with no ability to surface.  I could hear those around me, what they said, in an effort to hold me here, keep me from slipping further into the darkness where I could remain numb and lifeless emotionally.  No visitors permitted, and no way to know if or when recovery would begin, or how long it would take.  When it was finally released, the scars had not even begun to heal, some wounds were still very raw, others open and only beginning to close.  To say I was fragile would be greatly understating the reality.

So many times I have wished  I possessed the power to sooth those that are so deep in their misery.   That when touching those cheeks and drying the tears, I could pull the pain through my finger  tips and  replace it with peace and comfort.  That when I hugged them close, the wounds would begin to close, the burning subside.  That every touch…holding their hand, kissing their face, holding them in my arms, would be a soothing, healing balm to their hearts, extracting the torment, injecting warmth, cauterizing the emotional bleeding and pouring life and love back in to resuscitate their hearts.

But, would it be a good thing?

Throughout the transition from crushed to recuperated, we learn and grow.  I’ve learned some hard lessons through the past 17 months.  Somethings about myself weren’t pretty, in fact rather ugly.  Those were pieces of my personality that were rotting flesh that had to be cut away, and grafts of change put in place to grow and heal with the other wounds.

I am not the woman that I was in January 2010 when my life and dreams imploded into a burning pile of debris around me.  My heart is not the same as it was when it’s lifeless remains were on life support in the ICU unit  struggling to continue beating.  There were days I felt myself slipping further into that comatose state of pain and depression, and it took all I had to cling to the side of my sanity and not let go when the cold darkness beckoned so invitingly.   I am not the person that sifted through the rubble of my life, salvaging what I could,  discarding what could not be fixed,  and reevaluating who I was, where I wanted to go, and plotting a new course in life.

The person that has emerged is more like the me I was before I fell in love and married even the first time.  While there are deep and painful scars, and some are still tender and not all that attractive, I’m stronger in so many ways, and softer in others.  I’m still learning to fly again, making short, sometimes less than graceful journeys to explore love again.  I know that I want to love again,  that intense, deep, life changing, fully and completely devoted kind of love.  Trusting will come slowly, not only of allowing someone to hold my heart, but allowing myself to hold theirs.  I don’t want mine broken again, and I do not wish to inflict damage on anyone else’s.

But could any of this come about without that long and difficult process of healing?

Perhaps we all potentially have that superpower already, when we reach out and touch someone in pain, the results are just not as immediate as we’d  like…

 

Obviously MARvelous

Who has had the greatest impact on your life?

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I suppose this is where most folks would list specific people…..

I could say my grandfather, a man I think was about the most honorable soul that walked the earth.  If I am remembered  as being half the person of character he was then I will feel accomplished.

I could say either of my parents, who did a great job raising 4 kids and keeping us all on at least something that resembled a straight path in life.  None of us got arrested and all 4 of us have jobs and contribute to society on many levels so yes, they did good.

I could say my  hubby of 22 years…and he did impact my life in many ways both good and not so hot.  The 90% of our marriage that was good carries fond memories.

Maybe I could say my kids?  Being a mom certainly is impacting!

I could go on and on with this list but still not hit the one person who has had the greatest impact on my life….

That person?

ME.

Yes, that is right, me, Marti.  I have had the greatest impact on my life.

See, everyone that comes across my path, no matter how briefly, in some way INFLUENCES my life.  Some in positive ways, others in negative ones.  But I am the one that makes the decisions for what I will do, think, say, how I react etc.

My decisions all have consequences, some big, some little, either positive, or negative.  Those consequences impact me on all sorts of levels, but they all come from decisions that I make for myself.  No matter the strength or weakness of the influences, I ultimately make the choices and live out the results.

 

I Miss You…

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….Or maybe not?

Yesterday on the ride and over lunch, Mr. Wonderful and I talked a lot about our past relationships.  He asked me a question, one of those deeper ones, about my ex-husband.  He asked me, aside from things like living in that house, being with my kids, on a personal level, what did I miss about Pete.  Not something that someone else could do (a body to sleep next too, hugs etc), but what specifically about Pete himself did I miss now that he is gone.  I had to think about it long and hard….and still came up with nothing.  Nothing at all.  My mom and I talked about it later, and she asked if I had been happy when I  was married.  I  thought I was, though now I suppose it was just contentment of sorts.

After drawing a blank, Stan asked me what I thought Pete missed about me.  Again…nothing.  I really don’t think there is anything personal and specific to me that he misses at all.

I find this rather sad really, that I cannot come up with one single thing that I miss about the man.  I can tell you several things I miss about others in my life.  If he would have asked what I miss about the last guy I dated most recently, I could have given several things about him I miss even though it was a short lived relationship. Had he asked what I missed when he (Stan) and I parted company before reformatting our relationship into a friendship, I could have given several things as well.  But not a single thing about the man I was married to, slept next too, raised children with and loved for 23 years.

I fell asleep contemplating it and still, this morning, and now this afternoon, I draw a complete blank.

A 22 year marriage ended 16 months ago, and I miss….nothing.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

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If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

There is no ‘if’ about it, life is short.  It seems like just yesterday I was changing my son’s diaper, newly divorced and in the role of single mother.  Today he pushing is 27 years old, carries a gun and puts his life on the line as a cop.  I swear I blinked and went from protecting him to him protecting others.

So why DO we do so many things  we don’t like, and like so many things we don’t do? In a word: FEAR.

Many times I stayed employed in a job that I did not like because it was stable,  the pay was good, and I had medical insurance.  There were countless benefits that were unseen too, like free parking, location etc.  I transitioned through many positions within the 26 years at the company, some I really liked, others I  didn’t care for at all, and some I was simply content.  I feared leaving because there were too many ‘what ifs’ associated with leaving and trying something new.   It wasn’t until I was let go during a down sizing that I was forced to look for something new.  And the next two positions were similar in nature,  still stuck in a rut of doing what I knew I could rather than going after something that I thought I wanted to do but was unsure.  There was also much negative feedback associated with my occasional mentions of what I wanted to try doing.

After the next two jobs bit the dust, one was a seasonal lay off, the other the company just went under and I bailed when I saw the writing on the wall, I was forced to make some choices about my employment.  I was brain storming with my mom one Saturday morning, before the rest of the Divas were up and about, and I brought up childcare.  I really do love kids!  I am not really a domestic type, never got the joy of being the stay at home mom I had dreamed of, but I still  knew enough to know that watching children can be profitable, very profitable.  And then there is also Avon, something I very much wanted to sell.  I had taken a stab at it when my kids were little, and did it all wrong.  Now the corporation provides so much in the line of training that it is hard not to succeed.

Being home during the day watching children gives me a lot of opportunity to write, read, work the Avon business, and do something I very much enjoy, being a stay at home ‘mom’ of sorts.  I enjoy taking care of the kids a lot!  And I can pitch in around the house more, cleaning, doing dishes, and tackling Mt. Washmore, the Diva’s ever growing laundry pile.  It did take some initial adjustment, which worked well in the beginning as I only had the kids two days a week, then three, then four and now all five weekdays.  I eased into this and now I have a solid routine down.  It really works out well.

Avon allows me to do sales, something I have always wanted to try my hand at but never thought I had what it took.  And the product line is something I very much believe in.  I try the items that I recommend, and only recommend them if I really do like them.  I even started another blog page, I Sell Lipstick – Chronicles of an Avon Lady to not only share my adventures in this business but to review and give away products as I try them myself.

I also do some side work when needed for a friend that has  an insurance business, to keep the office skills up to date.

I still do not have medical insurance, but I am working with the agent friend to get a major medical policy in place and dental.  First I had bills that needed catching up from being without a paycheck.

Which brings me to another reason we tend to do things we don’t like, and avoid doing things we do like: other people’s opinions.

It is easy to become discouraged when others close to us have issues with what it is we are doing or want to do.  We write our dream off as a bad idea and stay where we are not happy.  For me, it was a deal breaker in a relationship with a guy that I really saw so much potential with for a possible life partner.  I wasn’t getting a ‘regular paycheck’ from anyone.  I think it had a lot to do with my not being ‘kept’ by that one, never mind that I get paid weekly, quite regularly and the same amount each time.  But that was an eye opener to me.

I’ve been employed in positions where I hated getting up and going to work each day.  I was moody, unhappy and most unpleasant to be around.  So many wasted years getting up and doing something I did not at all care for when I could have been doing something I really enjoyed.  I don’t care what you do for a living, as long as you pay your bills and you ENJOY what you do!  You cannot get back the time that is wasted in a very unhappy career.  No, not going to change what I do to make someone else feel happy and secure with me.  I love what I do, I am singing in the shower, humming and singing while putting on my make-up for the day, I enjoy being a daycare provider!  I enjoy cleaning the house and doing the laundry (dear gawd did I just really say that?? THE UNDOMESTIC GODDESS LIKES BEING DOMESTIC???).  I love selling Avon and plan to make that one helluva living too!  I don’t care what you do, be it a teacher, cop, firefighter, sanitation worker, stable cleaner, auto mechanic…if you enjoy what you do, if you are happy getting up and going to work each day, and we hit it off, then I accept you as you are, package deal.  If we don’t hit it off, I will cheer  you on in what you love, because life is entirely TOO short not to do what makes you happy!

I am now doing what I enjoy, and ever so thankful I finally took the risk and went for it!

What Are Your Favorite Simple Pleasures?

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What Are Your Favorite Simple Pleasures?

By no means will this be an exhaustive list, but I will hit on those that come to mind over the next few moments:

Walking…it is my favorite form of exercise and one of the best ways I burn off stress and think through things.  Sometimes I listen to the radio via my Droid, other times just walk in silence and pray.  I pick different locations depending on my mood, sometimes just looping my own street, or through the neighborhood, other times in a local park where I can watch the traffic on the river or trains coming along the tracks on the other side of the park.

Train crossings…it is in my genes to love trains.  My grandfather was an engineer, driving the old  steam locomotives and on to more modern trains as they came along.  I love seeing the lights start to flash and the gates coming down,  especially when I am the first car at the crossing.  Dead of winter, or extreme heat of summer, I turn down the radio, open the windows and just absorb the sound and feeling of the engine rolling by and then the rhythm of the cars ‘clacking’ along the tracks.  If I am close by the tracks and not in my car I will stand as close as I safely dare to the tracks and close my eyes,  I love the rumble of the ground as the sheer power of the engine is felt rushing by.  The crossing lights are like a warning to me, it is time to stop, wait.  Life can dish out so much sometimes and we forget to just stop for a moment and breathe.  I take those times at crossings to be a sign and reminder to me, it is time to just stop, feel the power of life, relish the moments here and now, wait on the Lord, and just relax.  Many see it as a waste of time, I see it as precious moments to just FEEL.

Rocking a child…I love  my job, there is nothing like taking care of kids.  I just adore the ones I’m watching now, and look forward to the newborn I will start caring for in late August.  There is something about holding a child and rocking them that is just as soothing to me as to the little one I’m rocking. Singing softly or in peaceful silence, watching their little eyes get heavy as they fall asleep in your arms, snuggled up against you.  I really look forward to the day when I will have grandchildren!

Listening to music…just laying across my bed  with a favorite CD playing, or a play list of favorite tunes, even better if curled up with someone special.  Music is therapy.

A long ride on a motorcycle…I’ve already talked about that over the past few days.  The wind in my hair and against my face, the sunshine on my skin.  Every care and all the stress seems to just peel away a layer at a time and blow away in the wind.  I don’t care to learn to drive, I prefer to be wrapped around some strong shoulders as the miles drift away.

A cold beer on a hot day…The colder the better.  I grew up in a good old German Catholic family.  Beer is a staple.  In fact it probably qualifies as a major food group! I grew up on Hudepohl 14K as a kid, my parent’s beer of choice.  Now I tend to lean toward the ‘diet’ beers like Bud Select 55.

A good glass of wine…I am no expert when it comes to wine, I just like it or I don’t.  One of the things the Divas here do is on Saturdays we buy a different wine to try, usually based on the name.  We discovered some hilarious ones one day in the wine section of our grocery store and since then warm Saturday nights are spent sitting on the deck sipping our new found treasure.  Some were duds, but many became Diva Den favorites.

Having my hands massaged…I have had arthritis in my hands, back and neck since my mid 20′s.  It came along as a partner to Ulcerative Colitis (which thankfully stays in remission for the most part for me, too bad the arthritis doesn’t).  My hands and neck are the worst without a doubt.  I love having someone rub lotion all over my hands and massage them from wrist to finger tips and back.  It is beyond description how good this feels for me, and it is probably the rarest treat I’ve ever received.

Having my head rubbed…My ex used to wake me up gently that way sometimes, rubbing my head.  It is shear heaven.  Recently, one of my favorite things was to curl up on the love seat against a friend’s chest while he rubbed my head and I fell asleep there.  It is so relaxing and soothing and to me a very special treat!

Giving a back scratch or foot rub…Yes, I actually enjoy scratching someone’s back (male), and it is a lengthy thing not a quick scratch of some itch.  I could spend a good deal of time at it.  I  also enjoy giving someone a foot rub with peppermint lotion.  I guess you could add putting someone’s head in my lap and rubbing, scratching gently.  I enjoy showing this type of affection to someone special when I have the opportunity.

Making out…yep, even at 48 I love kissing!  I could do that for  hours.  To me it is awesome.

Snuggling…yeah that too, I love curling up with someone special and talking, watching TV, on a blanket under the stars…not even necessary to talk, sometimes just the sound of their heart beating and hearing them breathe is a simple pleasure.

Those are just a few of the simple pleasures in life that just rock my world.