Never having to fight over the TV remote.
No one comes in and says something rude like “OMG you aren’t really watching THIS are you?”
No one picks up the remote during your show, or favorite commercial and changes the channel.
No need to hide the remote or remove the batteries.
It’s all yours!
I could only find the photo, not the place to actually order this adorable, universal remote. But I want one!
Your quality of life is your own to determine. As the quote below says, no one to lean on, rely on or blame.
I like that the most right now about being single, it is MY life. All about ME.
I make no apologies to anyone anymore.
I no longer have to make excuses to anyone for who and what I am.
It is my life, and right now it is amazing as I discover who I am beneath all the layers of what others thought I should be.
And I am pretty darn special!
Never having to get back to anyone after you chase down your S/O to find out if you are available for parties, showers, movies, whatever it is that needs to be done.
No one bitches because you have to work late, conveniently, on the night of your mother-in-law’s birthday extravaganza…the one that you’d rather have a root canal without the benefit of numbing medications than attend.
It’s YOUR schedule, you fill it in or leave open space as you see fit.
Driving down the road, your favorite song comes on.
The S/O changes the channel.
Or worse…
They purposely start singing and CHANGING the lyrics.
They butcher them, purposely, into something insane or obscene.
It sticks in your brain, and every time you hear the song you hear the ‘new’ words in your head.
And they think they are funny.
NOT FUNNY!
Don’t screw with a girl’s favorites.
No S/O means NO song slaughter!
If you are male, there are possibly a grand total of 3 products in the shower: shampoo, soap/body wash, shaving gel/cream.
If you are female…the number is infinite at best!
Because we are in a different mood every morning, and our mood dictates the scent we want to wear, there are countless possibilities for body wash.
We have different shampoo for different reasons as well.
Male or female…if single, the shower is YOUR domain, as much or as few products as you please will grace your tub and shelves.
And it is always just as you like it, NO complaints!
NO this is not our bathroom. It is from Ugly House Photos, click photo to go there!
No one takes the last cup of coffee, or ‘almost’ last cup, and leaves a swallow or an empty pot behind.
Nothing sucks like wanting a cup and discovering the last person (and only other person in the house that drinks coffee) took it all and didn’t make more.
Hot coffee, you always know exactly how much is left!
Mood swings…they suck
You never see it coming, then suddenly “BAAM” you get your head bit off.
Or your significant other is in the kitchen banging stuff around pissed off (do people do that when when are happy? NO!).
You ask, “What’s wrong?”
Them: “NOTHING”
Yeah whatever dorfwad.
Being single means only dealing with your own moodiness.
(and believe me MEN do have mood swings!)
Time is the one thing of value that we cannot make more of, find more of, discover etc.
We’re given one life and a limited amount of time to live it.
Being single means I have more freedom with my time to do things I need or want to do.
Like building my business.
Juggling a relationship (2 since starting Avon) made it hard to devote enough time to keep the relationship and the business growing at the rate necessary.
The business is my money, my livelihood. Getting it to where it can support me is critical.
I was married 2x, the first just 3 years, the second, 22 years. I know what kind of time and commitment that takes.
I don’t have time for a friend with benefits let alone a relationship.
Being single….Time…it is all mine and on MY side right now.
It happens, this thing called Drama.
For some of us simply waking up means there it is, waiting for our eyes to open.
Others…well they have to try harder I suppose.
Drama is going to happen in a relationship.
Be it with friends of his/hers, family, whatever or whoever, drama will occur.
Unless of course you are single.
No drama with his mama….
or sister, or niece, or whoever.
AHHH!
Holidays are stressful enough without trying to split them down the middle.
His parents want you at their house, her parents want you around their table.
No one wants to give, especially the couple, when it comes to traditions.
Our family always does….
Thankfully, when it is just you, there is no need to worry about where you will spend a holiday or if it can be split in such a way as to make everyone (except the two of you) happy.
One nice thing about being single, male or female:
The toilet seat is always just as you left it!
Leave it up, it stays put.
Leave it down, and there it will be next time you use the bathroom.
Personally, I prefer to keep the lid closed, keeps cats from drinking from it and from knocking things IN to the commode.
Pajamas are all about practical.
You wear flannel or fleece to be comfortable.
You can answer the front door in them if the door bell rings without giving anyone heart failure.
Nick & Nora are far less expensive than Victoria Secret.
Your dog or cat couldn’t care less what you look like crawling into bed.
Nick & Nora will actually be worn…more than 5 minutes.
Jammies – all about YOU!
Practical, comfy jammies
Seriously, when was the last time I painted my toes?
Hmmm…..before the camping trip I think, around Halloween.
See, I was dating The Count back then and so I kept the piggies all pretty.
Now that I am single?
Screw it, who cares? Still a peek of red polish left on a few toes and I just don’t care!
The person I am NOT dating, married to, involved with, LOVES all my friends!
The beauty of being single is that there is no one to say they don’t like your friends, or a particular friend.
The person you are NOT involved with never complains about any of them, knocks them, etc.!
Advice for the girls: Chicks before dicks!
Flip it if you are a guy, never let anyone come between you and your friends.
Oh yes, we are going THERE.
There as in bodily functions considered RUDE beyond words when performed in front of others.
Functions some folks (read: MEN) think are just hilarious.
Okay SOME men, my son for one.
My father used to lift a cheek, let one fly, then say “Oh, did you hear that trumpet roach?”
Not funny.
Especially trapped in a car on the highway with him.
My ex-husband on the other hand would have been mortified to let slip in front of anyone, as it is rude and obnoxious and in poor taste.
Oh alright there are some women the find them amusing. I’m not one of them. However if you engage me in a fart war, I will win.
Consider yourself warned.
Anyway…being single means not having to worry about the issue at all!
I decided for a little change up today to Vlog these answsers.
Showering.
It’s a choice you can make if you are single.
No need to bother with it.
Spend the entire weekend without one if you can stand yourself that long.
Totally awesome shower curtain, click the photo if you want to purchase it or see other cool ones!
Okay this one isn’t quite mine.
I mean I had it on my list as sleeping anywhere you wish in the house.
Not on the couch because you are fighting and you were banished or decided to be a dolt (listen if you opt for the couch rather than the bed you are indeed a dolt).
But you fall asleep wherever and it is YOUR choice to sleep there.
The part not quite mine is what a local DJ on the radio posted on his Facebook this morning, that goes right along with this reason:
“The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why I fell asleep on the kitchen counter…naked…again.”
~ Jeff Thomas Q102 http://www.facebook.com/jeffthomasradio
Picture 'borrowed' from Daily Cognition, click photo to see other funny animal sleeping pics
You give him/her your car keys.
Or if you are married to them they have their own set.
They head out using your car that has enough gas to get you to and from work for the next 3 days.
The next morning, you get in the car and there is just barely any gas in the tank.
The light indicating you need gas comes on half way to work.
Their response?
“You have enough to go 30 miles when the light comes on.”
Yeah, IF you don’t have to sit in bumper to bumper traffic on the highway due to some moron on a cell phone rear ending a semi!
Single means there is ALWAYS the same amount of gas in your tank as when you last parked the car!
We’ve all been there.
You’re about to stick something in your mouth that you’ve been craving…
Some yummy treat full of fat, calories, and sugar.
The significant other looks at you and says:
“Are you sure you should be eating that?”
REALLY?
YES you dork, I know it isn’t healthy.
I have PMS.
And UMS (Ugly Mood Syndrome).
You’re living beyond the next 5 minutes is greatly dependent upon your ability to just SHUT UP.
Pig out if that is what you wish, you are single now.
Eat whatever you desire!
*for the recipe for this outstanding looking feast below, click the photo to go to the website*
Colors. As in hair color.
For years I wanted to dye my hair just for the hell of it.
The ex-hubby was not in support.
He also didn’t care for it when I dyed just my bangs pink, said I’m too old for that.
Not against it either but you know that “look” you get from the significant others that says this isn’t one of your best ideas, so you don’t do it.
The ex-boyfriend was totally against it, he “fell in love with a blond”.
And by going red it made me a different person?
Whatever.
Now, I am happy with my new color.
My daughter tells me she loves it and not to go back to blond.
Being single means I can sport any color of the rainbow without caring what anyone else thinks.
