A new reader, who wishes to remain anonymous, began reading my blog (most every entry I’ve every written, I might add), he penned the following and sent it to me. I found it so insightful I wanted to share it:
I know that you put up a tough exterior to protect yourself/heart, but do also stick up for yourself, no one’s doormat. But when it comes down to it, you’re soft as butter, and you should be, just like me.
I imagined your secret garden, the place with the high wall that no one can see in unless you unlock the gate. I know what I can see from the outside. Lush green ivy covers the walls, but the heavy wood gate made of thick timbers and solid wrought iron hinges is nicely trimmed around. I hear water within, I imagine a babbling brook with a bench under a shade tree where on can sit and rest. I hear a multitude of birds chirping, and every now and then a butterfly will stray high enough that the multi-colored wings can be glimsped from out here. I suppose there is also a rolling valley of far green, low rising hill that seem to go on forever as though reflected in two opposing mirrors.
Because you have that tough exterior, your secret garden is that much more beautiful. It grows wild to give it’s love and affection that you hold back, and so dear and close. I wonder where the key is to this gate? I’ll keep searching for that answer……
I cannot tell him where the keys to the gate are, as I myself do not have them. From what I have learned, there are a few floating around, and those that possess them are unaware it is in their hands until they hear the hinges creaking and they are allowed inside. One, Mr. Wonderful, treasured his key, used it to enter and has sat on the bench under the tree, he knows my secret garden very well. The other, the Superhero, opened the gate and stepped just inside my walls but opted to go no further. I prefer to think it was just too much for him to take in at the time. Sadly, one man, Prince Charming, if he had a key, never bothered to use it. His key no longer works in the lock on the gate to the garden. Seems the magic is only good for a time, so if it is not used periodically, the magic fades and eventually the key is useless.
I look forward to seeing who else possesses a magic key to the gate of my garden. One day, someone will not only open the gate and enter, but will find their home in the garden, opting to stay and help tend it and enjoy it’s beauty, and will lock the gate from the inside, rendering all other keys useless.
I LOVE SUMMER TIME!!!!
I hate winter, hate being cold, hate snow (okay I do love LOOKING at it, but nothing else). So summer is best, and the hotter the better.
Yesterday the family gathered at my brother’s house to celebrate the holiday. Having fire fighters for brothers means we have to do things ‘around’ a holiday, not necessarily on the holiday. Which is okay, this year the 4th of July is a Monday which makes of a P-A-R-T-Y weekend. We spent the day grilling and swimming. He and his very awesome, mega cool, love her to pieces significant other that will soon (but not soon enough) be my sister-in-law, hosted the family event, pool side, at their house. It was outstanding.
I managed somehow to remember to use sunscreen and got away with just a slight tan line (need to adjust down for a lower SPF) but NO burn, YIPPIE! Last time I floated around their pool I burned so bad it lasted 2 weeks. Not real bright sometimes but hey, I’m cute so it makes up for the lack of common sense.
What a fantastic day! I slept like a brick and my guess is that my 3 youngest nieces (all 3, as Angeo’s baby girl is every bit the niece to me) likely slept long and hard. They looked like they had hit the wall running about 8pm last night. They were in the pool all day.
Today we are supposed to go back and do some more holding down of the rafts in the water. It is a tough job, we don’t want those things to float away. It is hard work, and often requires a little extra weight so a beer in hand tends to be just enough to keep them in place as they drift around in the water.
Life is great!
My brain is not up to a lot of deep thought today so it seemed like a good reason to do a list. Not to mention I was inspired by one of my favorite bloggers, Midwestern Mama, who did a list post today. Her list is random facts about her, none of which I knew but nothing truly shocked me. My list is 10 random things that made me happy this week, or at least smile!
1. I got my nails done this week! They were very long, street walker nails is what my youngest brother, Mike, called them once. They are at a much more manageable length now.
2. I got my hair cut and highlighted this week! It was way over due and driving my nuts so I was quite happy to be squeezed in to Debbie’s schedule and have it done. Even better was finding my daughter there having her hair done, and my sister showing up to get her’s cut as well! Family night at the hair salon.
3. I got a new purse. I have had the same one for well over a year now, going on two to be honest. It was time. I LOVE it! Black leather, and big enough to carry my Kindle in, which is critical as that goes everywhere with me now.
4. My mom brought home cookies the other day when she returned from a trip out. Pecan Sandies…with dark chocolate chips! YUMMY!!
5. My niece shared a Youtube video of Marcel The Shell, which totally cracks me up. Here it is if you need a chuckle:
6. I tried out the Chinese place across the street from my office last week, and this week tried cashew chicken. I now have a new, favorite lunch to munch in addition to the Chipotle addiction I have.
7. I found a brand new tube of Oil Of Olay In Shower Body Lotion!!! This stuff is SO good, and is the single best cure for dry skin in winter. I thought we were out, but while digging through the supply basket for face soap I found the in shower lotion. YEAH!!!!
8. I had a craving for something yummy, and fattening…and discovered we still had some Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream in the freezer, YEAH ME!!
9. My cat purring in my ear as she fell asleep was so soothing!
10. I finally have a TV for my room!!!! My son moved back home with my ex, and had a spare, 21 inch, flat screen TV (HD!!) and he gave it to his mama! Cable box will be here tomorrow and tomorrow evening I will be able to watch TV in bed, in my room.
SO, as you can see, all in all, this has been a GREAT week, even though I am sick and feeling like 10 pounds of crap in a 5 pound bag, life is still good!
So much for sleeping in today. One thing about having cats in the house, they view humans as their staff and when they want the unpaid help to do something they will stop at nothing to get attention. Pixel started early today, 7am in fact. I realize that since I am usually up around 5am for work that this is sleeping in to her. My idea was more in the neighborhood of 9:30am or 10. She starts by getting up on my dresser and knocking things off. If that is not a success she moves to the desk or the vanity. I got up and fed her but that is not enough, she wants me awake and at the least sitting up in bed. Her side kick, Ditzy, is now up too and they started tag teaming me when I got back in bed. Mission accomplished, I am awake and up. We reached a compromise of sorts, I have fresh Highlander Grogg coffee, and I am sitting up in bed with my laptop. The cats are now sleeping on the bed with me while I am wide awake. Go figure. Bed head and pink flannel jammies. Despite the allergy meds I am consistently taking now, I am still sneezing and have a growing pile of tissues next to me on the bed from blowing my nose. Great visual huh?
I am so broke this weekend. Too many bills to pay and not enough cash coming in, thinking I might need to consider a part time job on the weekends for a bit until I get some of my debts paid down. Just not making enough to keep up with what I have. Thinking a few weeks off from Chipotle is going to have to happen and I’ll have to pack lunch. Maybe if I stood out front of the place with a metal cup and a sign I could get a free steak or chicken bowl from some sympathetic passerby? Na..one look at this big butt and they’d know I haven’t been hurting for a meal in a while.
This is one of those totally relaxed, stay inside and be warm in front of the fire type of days. I have NOTHING to do outside of the house today after I run to the bank. Laundry, change the bedding, read for a while, maybe write some posts for using later this week. Thinking I might actually finish the blanket Brittany asked me to make, running a bit behind on that. A whole afternoon and evening to just crochet! Ah that sounds wonderful! Only way to improve on that would be snuggling in with someone special while watching a moving, in front of the fire, and hooking this blanket. Just need a good movie to watch, and that is tough for me to settle on, I haven’t watched much TV of any kind except for a few minutes here and there that I just have lost complete interest in it over all.
I think sleeping in seriously has been the greatest blessing this weekend. It is amazing how much of a change in perspective I have once I have had a good, solid night of sleep. Two such slumbers in a row and I’m back in business with my happy face on.
This weekend has moved along at a leisurely pace, seeming to last forever and that too makes me thankful. Life in the Princess Palace is fun but so much more enjoyable when there is no rush on to be going in 5 different directions. We find our joy in simple things and a lazy afternoons. We had so much fun yesterday when my daughter came over and we sat talking in the living room batting a balloon around in the air. At first it was to entertain the kitten, but then it became a volley balloon game of keeping it from hitting the floor. It got rather silly and we were all laughing a lot, which I have found that laughter is indeed great medicine. I was glad we did this as it is kind of awkward for me when my daughter comes over. Life was easier living together as there was no scheduled time we were social, if we both happened to be in the kitchen or crashed on the couches we talked, laughed and shared. Now it is a scheduled visit and feels that way, a visitor in my home that should be entertained. It feels very unnatural and that is one of those adjustment things I’m going through now. I don’t feel right going off to my room to write or check emails when she is here like I could do when we were under one roof. Her purpose in being here is to be with me so it changes the dynamics of our relationship completely.
We’ve all been venturing out to the deck, despite the heat and humidity. Honestly the 90+ temps are not a big deal, it truly is the sticky air that makes it hard to sit there. Just the effortless task of occupying a chair will make us sweat bullets out there and that is not pleasant at all. However the deck is like an extra room in the house and probably everyone’s favorite gathering place. It is shaded, comfy and the woods full of wild life make it wonderful but it is much nicer when it is just hot out. We all wonder what it will be like come winter when we cannot use our favorite place. I have a feeling the family room will become the winter gathering place with a fire burning and crochet hooks flying while we keep warm making things.
My son is due for a visit today which will be nice. Haven’t seen him in the past week and love hearing his stories from work. He will be here to mostly play World Of Warcraft with my sister and niece which is fine. He’ll take breaks from the intensity of the game to sit and chat over a beer with me, and hang out for dinner hopefully. Just having him around is a good time no matter what is going on. Who knows maybe his little sister will wander on back too, as she really enjoys her big brother and also feels she just doesn’t get to see him enough.
This coming week will be busy as I am hopefully starting a part time job to supplement my current income so I can get things payed down and have more cash flow. I hate the thought of missing dinner in the Diva Den a few nights a week but I really get nervous about being able to make my bills and still have a buffer of money available to feed my indulgences now and then. Like a new teddy bear. My teddy bear was bought to give me something to wrap around when ex-oinker was on duty. It is losing its softness and has a very well loved look about it. It actually helps with the arthritis in my neck and back by providing support under my arm when I sleep so I need to find a new one. I haven’t shopped the stuffed animal section of a store in so long I don’t even know what is out there. At one time I had wanted the ex to go with me to Build A Bear and kiss the little heart they stick inside, something for me to keep and treasure if anything happened to him. Now…I’d be tossing that bear on the fire pit come 8/2 so thinking I am glad we didn’t spend the money. Okay so I’d likely just give it to my daughter but you understand. And if it weren’t for the physical benefits I’d be getting rid of the current bear yesterday! Guess I need to go over to Animal Crackers if it is still around and see what I can find.
Well the coffee in my cup has grown cold while I have been busy typing. Hmm..it is 12:38pm..does that mean more coffee or time for a cold, adult beverage since it IS Sunday, and still summer time and I’m feeling really lazy and content today? Decisions, decisions….
*photo credit: Filomena Scalise/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Random Happy Thoughts
- Sleeping in totally rocks! Went to bed at midnight and didn’t get up until 10:45am this morning. I feel MARVELOUS!
- Grocery shopping is fun when you share the experience with someone. I enjoyed going shopping with Diva Mom.
- Nothing beats fresh veggies, especially corn on the cob purchased from local farmers at road side stands and picked fresh this morning!
- Having my daughter over to spend the afternoon and evening with us, cooking out and wine tonight in the Diva Den. I miss living with her and love getting to spend time together
- Storms that come blowing in suddenly, packing hail and making the lights flicker are a bit scary. But the power stayed on so all is good!
- Caramel Truffle coffee tastes SO good, I really enjoy flavored coffee!
- I love this house! Still kind of adjusting after 2.5 months but it is the coolest place and I love living in it! It is so big and spread out giving us each the needed solitude but still having each other so nice and close.
- Grilled hamburgers are SO yummy! Add folks you love around your table and they are a feast fit for a king! Well a bunch of princesses at least.
- Crisp, clean sheets to change on the bed, I just love it!
- Church festivals with warm beer and poker tables, gotta love ‘em!
- Puppies and kittens are so fun to watch interacting, especially when they do not know they are not supposed to like each other.
- Unexpectedly bumping into my youngest brother when dropping off lunch to my dad is a very good thing (even if he is sweaty and stinks from working outside).
- A nice deck with the woods as our back drop is so wonderfully relaxing, heat and humidity just don’t seem to matter when sitting out there.
- Texts from old friends, favorite drinking buddies! I LOVE YOU GUYS
- Saturday night wine at the Diva Den, always something to look forward too!
- I LOVE WEEKENDS!!!