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The Smell Of Freedom

Apr19

Did you know the wind has a smell to it?  No, not the smell of a fire place drifting on the breeze, or fresh flowers, but it has it’s own, unique smell.  If you’ve ever ridden on a motorcycle you know what I mean.  It is the smell of FREEDOM.

My honey had been missing his other woman.  As in his bike.  She was ‘hospitalized’ for repairs/maintenance so we were on a borrowed bike last weekend.  She is to him what the Black Pearl is to Captain Jack Sparrow.  FREEDOM.  He got her back late this afternoon.  My sister and I pulled ourselves  together and took him to get his other baby.  He rode her for a bit to be sure all was in working in order then had me jump on board.  Ya gotta love a man that is so darn protective.  And he really is super protective of me.  We rode 41 miles back home and it was pure heaven, me and my pavement pirate.

It was while we were riding and I was wrapped around him that I realized that his scent was back to normal.  See, he smells of leather and the wind.  His spirit is like mine, free and cannot and will  not be  nailed down.   Sitting behind him, my body up against his, my face next to his head on his shoulder, I recognized it.  Leather and ‘freedom’ are the scent of my man.  And it settles a peace over me when I inhale it.  After a day of fighting with an upset stomach and migraine,  something about the throttle therapy takes that away.  Well okay, not entirely, as some of the way I feel right now is just pure exhaustion.  But it did ease up things a good deal.

I am so looking forward to every mile to come.

Kreativ – I’m Feeling and Passing On The Love!

Feb25

I received a blog award today and I love that, love when others in the Blogdom enjoy my writing.

First I must, yes, it’s a must, post the rules!

So, here are the rules:
1. Thank & link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Answer the form questions below.
3. Share ten random facts / thoughts about yourself.
4. Nominate (at least) 7 other blogs for the Kreativ Blogger Award.

SO first things first!  A BIG thank-you to my fellow blog bud, Susi, over at Boca Frau.  She finds me Kreativ, and I like it!  Not your ordinary spelling, rather unique, like the bloggers we shall pass this on too.

Now, for the form questions:

Favorite Song  I honestly don’t know that I have one.  Kinda stuck on an Amy Grant song at the moment, “Better Than A Hallelujah”.

Favorite Dessert  I wish it were so easy as to name just one.  If it involves dark chocolate, it’s my favorite.

What ticks me off  People that cannot seem to locate the proper place to put their shopping cart at the store.  They wander the entire super store and then cannot walk an extra 30 feet to park that puppy where it belongs.

When I’m upset, I…Generally withdraw and get quiet while I sort through things.  Sometimes I write, and much of that never gets published, the writing is my way of venting.

Favorite pet(s) Personally? I have one, my cat, Pixel.  Me, the reformed cat hater.  But back in the married days, my daughter’s Yorkie, Penny, who will always reign number one with me.

Black or White Black because it’s probably one of my best colors as a blond and a red head.

Biggest Fear  Seriously, I have several.  I suppose the worst one is fire.

Everyday attitude My glass is neither half empty, or half full, it is FULL to over flowing.  I seek the  joy in all things.

What is perfection?  Being completely comfortable with who you imperfectly are and accepting yourself as such.

My guilty pleasures – Reading, napping, dark chocolate, any favorite comfort foods, a good glass of wine.

Okay on to the 10 random facts about me.  Hmm….trying to think of things my readers don’t know just yet…..

  1. I like to mix my corn in my mashed potatoes.
  2. I love dark chocolate or coconut M&Ms with beer or wine.
  3. I’m really OCD about a crooked picture, I always adjust them no matter where I am.
  4. I hate clowns.  Never liked them, they totally creep me out.
  5. As soon as I can afford it, I will be driving a HOT pink truck or SUV.  With the Avon logo on it.
  6. I love lighthouses!  All time favorite is the one on Cape Hatteras.
  7. I’m a not-quite-closeted Hello Kitty freak.
  8. I’ve often desired to pierce my eyebrow…still might do it.
  9. Turning 29 bothered me SO much more than turning 30.  Needless to say, I feel the same about 49 and 50.
  10. While I know it isn’t healthy, and by trying to make it more so they kinda ruined it, Captain Crunch with crunch berries is my favorite junky cereal.

And now, to pass on the love and give this award to 7 bloggers I feel are very deserving of it, in no particular order as they are all awesome:

The Cinful one herself, over at Cinnamon’s Spicy Life.

The beautiful Angie at Martinis Needed.  May I one day find her that 5 foot metal chicken.

Nota, at Nota 101, who will hopefully have her blog revamped and public again soon, she is worth the moments to read any day!

Kimberly at Truly Simply Pink, on top of being one of my favorite bloggers, she loves the color pink!

Totally awesome, cool dad, over at Dad Unmasked for very fun look at single fatherhood.

Nani over at Chronicles of Nani, I love her blog and her play list on it!

Marti of Marti’s Musings because she has a great blog AND a great name. Second time, at least, she is getting this but I think she is deserving of it!

Late Night Flight Of The Nose Moth

Feb13

Last night I put my sorry butt in bed at 9:30, loaded for bear on Mucinex DM and 2 beers.  Might as well make those strange, drug induced dreams more fun, right?  In addition to this cold that has come back. Again. For. The. Fourth. Time.  I am also in the midst of menopausal like crap of keeping vampire hours, hot flashes and night sweats.  Picture this:  me, in a long sleeved white t-shirt, red fleece jammie bottoms, lime green sport bra, no makeup because I use a skin care regimen and wash my face nightly, nose running off my face, lip balm on the end of my nose to aid in easing raw spots from blowing my snot filled nasal passages clear, sweating from the INSIDE out now and then and I know, I’m one sexy, hot mess right now!  The final touch of this “I’m sexy and I know it” visual, a nasal strip to help open those nostrils up to function as they are meant too…for BREATHING!  No hating ladies, I know you are jealous of this seductive, sassy look, and men are holding themselves back.  What can I say, when ya got it, flaunt it baby! (Admit it, all you boys are dying to curl up next to this hot mama)

I usually turn on my electric blanket before bed to warm up the sheets.  Last night I was actually cold when I went to bed so I did just that, but on low so as to only keep the chill out.  I left the comforter over the blanket, hopefully not some fire hazard as I think I have enough excitement in my life to dodge without adding to it my big, lumpy, lily white ass hanging over a firefighters shoulder, being carried down a ladder from my bedroom window, those sexy jammie pants half burned off of me.  I turned on the Sound Scapes channel on Music Choice on my television.  This provides a bit of ambient light to the room, and some soft, yet sometimes strange, music to lull me to sleep.  My cat seems to come under the spell of the music, as she is curled up, head upside-down on the end of the bed.  She kinda looked like road kill, contorted position, eyes partially open and all.  That probably should have served as a warning but under this spicy, auburn do there are natural blond roots.

I slipped into the hug of my sheets, blanket and comforter, turned off the light and wrapped around my teddy bear.  Just as I was about to drift off to sleep I started coughing, my throat irritated from the crap running out of my head.  SIGH…damn water bottle is empty.  I crawl back out, head to the kitchen and fill my water bottle back up then go back and repeat the entry mode to the bed.  Thankfully  teddy bears never complain, they are the perfect man to sleep with, girls.  No rude pokes in the back when you snore, no comments about your morning breath because they cannot smell it.  And they never wake up wanting a  little ‘some some’ when you look like the Swamp Thing and have the muck mouth to confirm your origins.  Mine tells me I look gorgeous no matter what I might resemble.

Any strange dreams I had during the night were not noted so I don’t remember them other than knowing they were odd.  I was not about to take time to jot a note in my phone memo pad and risk waking up just enough to not go back to sleep.  I drifted back out to la-la land to the chanting in a piece playing on the music channel that I vaguely recall thinking  it sounded something like a witch doctor summoning demonic apparitions in the jungle but that is as much as I retained.  And  that very well could have been my cat stretching, yawning a meow and repositioning on the bed, hard to be certain.

I thought for sure I would get a great night of rest, but my vampire hours returned at 3:03am.

Vampires wake slowly from their slumber, trust me I know this as I am, it would seem, of that species.  I’m a hybrid, however, I don’t have fangs and I don’t need blood to survive, but I do have the up all night and way pale complexion of the dead features.  If you’ve ever read a truly good book about them (try Christine Feehan’s Dark Series) you know that vampires sleep the sleep of the dead.  Ask my ex-husband, he’ll tell you I sleep like a corpse.  You can stick your foot in my back and shove me out of the bed to the floor and I will go right on snoring.  Just like a Carpathian gone to ground, no heart beating, lifeless and all.  It’s a special super power of mine.

Shortly after 3am, just like life beginning to flow through the body of the fanged ones, from deep within my body it started, heat like the life force of blood, from my core it oozed outward toward the surface.  I woke very slowly, as those that sleep like the dead do, vaguely aware of the chanting again in another song (I really need to switch stations, those voices and the chimes gotta go).  Before I even opened my eyes I became aware of the cause of my arousal from my nightmares in Dawn of The Living Dead Land, night sweats.  Beads of moisture were starting to form around the backs of my knees, neck, in the bend of my elbows and along my hair line.  And like the blood suckers looking for a dark cave at sunrise, I sought after the cold spots in my bed where my now over heated body had not been laying.  I flipped over the pillows going for the cool, other side against my face.  Beads of sweat started running between my boobs, (there is that sexy stuff again, damn I’m something) and down the small of my back.  I pushed the covers all off, laying there in the t-shirt and bra, hair growing damp and cursing under my breath at the cat who meowed protest at the covers landing on her.

It was about this time I became aware of the Nose Moth.

You will recall that I went to bed wearing a nasal strip to assist my ability to breathe.  Under normal circumstances, trying to remove one of these contraptions will result in the first layer of skin going with it.  However it would seem that cement they call adhesive is no match for the perspiration from night sweats.  Little by little I could feel the strip releasing itself from the sides of my nose, almost in an identical pattern on either side.  It kinda tickled which made me wiggle  my nose a bit, only helping to free the ends.  Suddenly it ‘popped’ and the little strips, like delicate wings carried it upward, with a majestic arc into the air it flew, on it’s first and last flight, the nose moth.  OH the beauty of what happens in the dark of night.  Okay so it more or less plopped off my nose and onto the black pillow case next to my face, but it sounds so much better the other way, don’t you think?  After that it did in fact fly, because I flicked it off the pillow and onto the vanity, causing the cat to get up and go investigate to see what had just landed there and if it was edible.

I gave up sleeping at that point, wandered to the bathroom and back, then checked Facebook, Twitter and a few other social media addictions before I settled in to watch the clock tick off the next few hours, with damp, matted hair, damp t-shirt and bra, and now clogged nasal passages.

I’m sexy and I know it! jiggle jiggle jiggle jiggle jiggle yeah! (FYI fat doesn’t wiggle, it jiggles)

NEEDED: Sugar Daddy

Jan25

Yes, I really do NEED a sugar daddy.  I think.  See, I have no idea exactly what a sugar daddy is for other than money.  What is expected of him, of me, etc?  It’s complicated.

I went to Wikipedia, like any savvy Internet addict would do, and found this:

Sugar daddy is a slang term for a man who offers money or gifts to a younger person in return for companionship or sexual favours.

Hmmm….THAT isn’t much  help for me.  I’m not ‘younger’ by most definitions.  In other words the men that would see me as ‘younger’ are far older and probably beyond the help of a little blue pill and on to penile implants.  That isn’t going to work.

A look at the website, Sugar Daddy Finder sounds more like an escort service!!!  Sorry, you can make the definition as pretty as you like but strip away the fancy words and you still have….a prostitute.

So…Sugar Companion?  Didn’t find a definition for that but face it, same thing just more compatible in age.   *heavy sigh*

What’s a girl to do?

Money – yes that part is good.

Lavish gifts?  Well I certainly would NOT turn down an iPhone and iPad.

But um…about that intimacy part with a Hugh Hefner wannabe…. not so much.

Maybe I’ll take up rubbing dirt on my face, making a cardboard sign, and sitting on a corner begging…

He is SO hot, hold me back!

Toilet Training Cats?

Jan3

It is a running joke around here, since we have 3 cats, that it would be great if we could toilet train them.  One handles the litter box just fine.  One gets the general concept but when it comes to covering what she leaves behind…well she was orphaned shortly after birth so she wasn’t taught.  I’ve done all but get in the box and show her how this is done but face it, I wouldn’t fit.  We’re thankful she uses the litter box.  The third one? Well she is mentally challenged on her best days.  She digs the hole then stands in it and craps outside of the box onto the floor, then scoops litter OUT of the box onto her floor deposit to cover it.  Brilliant, eh?

So I decided today to look into the idea of actually toilet training our cats.  Heck we already have a phantom pooper (that person that never flushes but no one owns up to it), why not the cats?  Heck if we can train them to go maybe we can train them to flush too!  That would raise them above the phantom!

I actually thought it was a joke, as I really haven’t known of anyone that accomplished this feat.  But then I googled “toilet training cats” and found out that this can, in fact, be done.  Or at least according to the website and a number of videos it is successful.  I’m still skeptical but willing to look into it.  The first one I found, Litter Kwitter, has videos on it’s site to show how this is accomplished when you purchase their training kit for your cat.  For $49 you can buy it and frankly that is worth it if I never have to purchase litter again.  I have since found less expensive versions, as cheap as $16.  I’m totally wanting to believe this can be done.

I had to include the video, I just knew you’d want to know.  They even sell a special package for multi-cat households, like mine.

The Fine Print On My Birth Certificate

Dec29

Anyone who has raised children, taught children, been around them for any length of time has no doubt heard the words, “but that’s not fair!”.

Growing up, I remember dozens of reasons why “that’s not fair”, like who rode shot gun when mom drove us somewhere (yeah this was before front seat airbags and the accident studies, honestly amazing we all survived, eh?).  Or who got the red cup at lunch, who got to walk up the street with dad….with 4 kids and only one red cup, one front seat shot gun position, dad only taking one of us, well there were a lot of things the remaining 3 would feel wasn’t fair.  Mom had a come back for that, “No where on your birth certificate does it say life is going to be fair”, and she was so right.  Trust me, first opportunity I had to actually see mine I was frantically searching for the fine print that guaranteed me fairness in life.  In case you are wondering about your own, nope it is NOT there.

As my kids were growing up, well I wish I had a $1 for every time I heard my mother coming out of my mouth, I’d be a wealthy woman.  Especially with that phrase about the birth certificate.  Another favorite went like this:

ME:  MOM! I cannot find my pink sweater anywhere, what did you do with it?

MOM:  Well, last time I wore it I put it AWAY where it BELONGS!

Now, mom did NOT wear the sweater, but the hint to me and my 3 siblings was if we would put stuff away we’d have a clue where to look for it.  It was the beginning of training for us to put things away when we were finished with them. But back on track, I’ve hijacked my post…

My kids would roll their eyes in a big, dramatic way, when I used the birth certificate line one them.  Then I’d get the “but you don’t understand!” response.  Oh trust me child, I understand.  Every day, even now, I am learning over and over again that life is simply not FAIR.

Why did my marriage fail (two of them) and other people last a lifetime?

Why is it I got let go from my job when clearly there were less productive people that could have been layed off?

Why at 16 did I get pregnant when there were countless other teenage girls having sex that did not get knocked up?

Why did MY car have to have the flat tire?

The list of “why me” could be pretty lengthy if I went on and on, and about that time I would hear my mother’s words echo in the background, “why NOT you?” and that would be followed by the over stated eye roll.  Indeed, why not me?

Sh*t happens, it is how life is.  Sometimes worse than others, sometimes the bottom drops out and we just want to die because it is painful, hard, and uphill.  During those times it is so easy to lose sight of the good things, the blessings in our lives.  Example, I know a guy that got pulled over and got a ticket once.  That officer is now his wife and the mother of his children.  Chance meetings in a bad moment turn into great things.  I understand that it is hard to see the good, the blessing, when you pull a rotten apple from the barrel of life…but that rotten apple, when planted in broken soil, will fertilize that ground and yield wonderful fruit later.  It is hard to see the shore in the middle of the storm, the silver lining in those dark clouds.  But if we just remember that “this too shall pass” there is good to come.  Be thankful and allow that spoiled fruit to grow GOOD things in you.

Meanwhile, keep that birth certificate handy, it never hurts to look for the fine print now and then when struggling against the ‘why me’ unfairness that hits us all.

In Due Time, The Gloves WILL Come Off

Nov15

If you want a BIGGER life..be the BIGGER person. There is no more fabulous view than the one from the high road. ~ The Single Woman

That quote is very true, the high road does indeed have  the most  fabulous view.  No doubt this is because we rise above our bitterness, anger, hatred and other negatives that blind us not only from the truth, but from being who  we  could be.

The high road is the more difficult road to take in life.    Lately I’m walking on the high road, but with great difficulty.  What I really want to do is yank the self imposed gloves off and really just lash out and let you know what I think of you!  Should I remove the gloves, there is also a leash that has been put on the family pit-bull.  Out of respect I’ve not chewed through that leash, but the day is coming,  and not  that far  down the road now.  Instead,  like a guard dog behind a fence, I am pacing back and forth.  I see you, I’m watching you, and I will get free one day and then beware.  Perhaps I should publish every careless word that was sent, every lie told, that the  truth might be known.

That truth…that you are not the victim you play yourself to be.  No, you are no angel,  no victim at all.  You are a dark, mean, bitter soul.  Not the person I thought for a very long time.  Not one of character and grace, upstanding and honest.  Your integrity is non-existant.  The accusations you have made, while indeed true in some cases….well pot, meet kettle as they say.  You’re no better as it is now known and in due time will be known by all.  You point your finger and cry “foul” while 3 of your fingers point back at you.

The Karma bus that you’ve attempted to drive yourself, is coming for you.  When it rolls  over  you,  and the truth exposed, you’ll be lucky if anyone reaches out to help you.  If only they all really knew, huh? Your real  thoughts of them, your real feelings, and that they are but all pawns in a game you won’t win.  Good always wins over evil, and you are indeed very evil.  It is just sad that so many will be hit and rolled over by that Karma bus, yet they deserve it when it does finally run them down.  So much truth is now in the proper hands, and sadly all the wicked queen’s hench men and women will fall with her.  To think someone struggles with that, because his heart  really is very good, and it will pain him more than those under the wheels, when the Karma bus runs  them over.

I know that you come here, and come to my Twitter.  It is why I leave them open.  Keep laughing and reading,  because  I will have the last laugh.  He is too good a person to laugh but not me.  No, I will laugh again and again.

I know  that the song wasn’t about this, but these words are oh so applicable…

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I’ll be watching you

If Life Is A Box Of Chocolates, I Prefer To Package My Own

Oct31

Unless you have lived under a rock most of your life, you’ve probably heard the popular quote from the movie, Forrest Gump, “My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”"  I suppose that on SOME levels that can be true if we chose to lead a passive life allowing the winds of circumstances to steer our ship.  That isn’t for me, I need more control over my journey.  Not to mention, if you are going to splurge on chocolates, buy the pricey kind, like Esther Price (love those!), that happen to have a cheat sheet telling you what is inside the various kinds of chocolates in the box!

I refuse to be a survivor in life, allowing things to just happen.  I’m a warrior, I fight against things that get in the way of my end goals.  I prefer to steer my own ship, thank you very much, and I do NOT care for guessing what is inside the chocolates in my box  of life.  Too often what looks tasty is flat-out disappointing.  My life has been full of situations that didn’t go as I would have liked, and little by little I’ve learned that if I want something in life, I can either gamble and take a lot of bites from truffles of chance, or I can plot and plan and fill the box of  life with chocolates I prepare.

Forrest Gump is full of simple wisdom, but this is one time I’m not accepting it.  Sure, I can open the box and start eating willy nilly whatever looks good and hope I bite into something scrumptious , and things may or may not turn out the way I’d like, but my odds are greatly increased  if I follow a recipe and set goals, write them down, make a plan to achieve them, then act on those plans.  I don’t care to sample all the bon bons in search of what I want.  I’d rather stop wasting time and start making and packaging my own, filling my life’s box with delicious choices I select!  To do this I have to follow the recipe.

I will succeed in my goals, and be a top seller with Avon.  I research and study what others have tried who are at the top, and I am incorporating those things.  Their ideas have spawned several of my own, and helped me locate opportunities for sales and recruiting.  I refuse to give up.  I will succeed!

Remember my name, you’ll be hearing it in rich and famous of Avon one day soon!

GRACE – A Virtue I need To Acquire More Of

Oct13

Only to read about this…you have to stop over at CINFUL CINNAMON’S page!  She is doing a series on virtues with guest posters supplying their thoughts on various ones.  I guest blog over there today so click the icon below and come visit my blog bud, the spicy one herself, and read all about it!

Why, God, WHY?

Aug22

As a mother, I have always  been thankful for my children being HEALTHY.  I  knew  from extensive reading before, during, and after my pregnancies that babies born healthy and ‘normal’ is nothing if not miraculous.  SO many things can go ‘wrong’ that  things being right is more of a blessing  than I had realized.

The moment my children were born I  was counting fingers, toes, quickly checking them out for any physical signs of a ‘defect’ in them.  I was one of those mothers that was fortunate, my babies were fine.  Nothing shocking, no life or death issues, just take them home and do what we gals are wired to do, nurture them.

This morning I stumbled on a blog page  by accident.  I was checking another blogger’s page and noticed a page for blog buttons so I clicked it.  Most of us have others we follow and we post the buttons as a means to drive traffic to blogs we think are worthy.  I saw this “praying for Tripp” button and clicked it.  Anytime I see a button  for someone indicating a need for prayer I’m drawn to their story.  I was not prepared for what I found.  My heart  just broke for this little boy.

Before my coffee this morning, I had never heard of Junctional Epidermolysis Bullosa (EB).   Tears welled up as I looked at the photos of this precious child, and read his story.  This skin disease is just MEAN!  Wretched, horrible, MEAN!!!  And it is one of those things that makes me want to shake my fist at my Heavenly Father and scream “WHY WHY WHY???? How could you do this to a CHILD???”  And the heavens are  silent.  I will have to wait to ask that question until  I meet Him face to face.  Meanwhile, I can only pray for Tripp, and  his mommy and daddy.

I encourage  you to read all about him (click the button), pray for him.  And then take  time to hug your kids  and thank God  for  your precious angels.

Role Models And Freedom Of Speech

Aug19

One of the  Diva Den has encountered what happens when you exercise your right to free speech, and learned that sometimes that freedom of expression comes  with a price, or consequences.

My niece attends a local vocational high school and as a senior this year she was asked to participate in Junior Day.  She’d be helping out with basically orienting the junior class coming in as to how things operate and what is acceptable and not acceptable.  One thing had to do with attire.  She was asked to dress in an inappropriate manner to show  as the example  of what is not going to be tolerated in fashion when at school.  She has a Twitter account and posted a tweet referencing the  teacher that  asked and saying she  had been asked to dress like a slut.  Could she have chosen better words and left out the teacher’s name? Certainly.  But she invoked her freedom of expression and it cost her, the price: she isn’t allowed to participate in Junior Day and she was called to the principle’s office to remove the tweet.

Seems the school, in a district that has to  keep cutting the budget, can afford to hire people to monitor student’s  Facebooks, Twitter accounts etc looking for derogatory remarks about  teachers, other students and the schools.  Yes,  when they cannot afford TEACHERS to instruct students, they PAY people  to hunt down and watch students PERSONAL accounts for negative commentary.  Don’t get me wrong, I realize that  Human Resource  departments in 75%  of companies or more, are doing the same thing with employees.  They also hire and fire  based on the type of person you are deemed to be based on what is seen on your Facebook etc.  Good time to reconsider those drunken debauchery photos you posted last week from that blow out party.

No  one is denying freedom to express oneself, but keep in mind there can be a price for that.  Much can be  learned about people by what they post  in their social media outlets.  In an economy where jobs are scarce it might be wise to really look at the image you give of yourself.

Now, I do not like what happened to my niece, but I can see the other side of this issue as well.

How many times have we been up in arms over a sports figure that goes bad and gets arrested,  Tiger Woods cheated on his wife with who know  how many women, Lindsay Lohan and Paris  Hilton get DUI’s, and we’re all upset because by golly they are role models! What kind of image does this portray to our children of what is acceptable?  Never mind that they maybe didn’t sign up to be a role model, they are in the public eye, and therefore examples and should behave, right?  They should have thought about privacy before they moved into the lime light, with it goes a certain expected amount of responsibility.

SO, is being a representative of your high school to incoming students really any different?  Chosen  to participate, and accepting that role, one accepts a leadership position and with it becomes a role model of sorts.  Are you then not  held to a higher standard of expectation?  Is it  okay to speak negatively or behave in a way that is unbecoming if  you are representing your school? Or your program at school?  As the representative you are observed not only by current students and faculty, but future students as well.  Your words and actions on a public forum represent a product, the school.  Even if it is personal, if you make something public, it reflects you, and as a representative of your school, it reflects on them.

Major corporations remove celebrities or  others (some become celebrities by being the spokesperson, remember the Dell  guy that we all loved, Dude, you’re getting a Dell, that later was busted for pot and dropped?  The companies and products being endorsed want a clean cut, positive image.  We as consumers are not at all upset and in fact most of the time  totally back the dropping of a celebrity endorsement if they fail to live up to expectations of the role model.

I completely understand my niece being upset with those  in charge for removing her from the role.  I also completely understand the school  doing what they felt best to keep a particular image.  And as far as those hired to do just this, monitor the students on public forums, are we really upset about the money spent or the fact that someone was caught and singled out because they ARE in a role model position?  And if it were another student, would we in the Diva Den be this worked up or would we be saying “good, that person shouldn’t be representing the school if they cannot do it in a positive manner”.

I am torn, to say the least and trying to see all sides.  What is YOUR opinion/thought?

Twitter: Follow Me Or Don’t, But Stop Whining!

Jul17

First, one using Twitter has to understand what it is:  Micro Blogging.  You only have 140 characters to use to convey your message.  This has resulted in many coming up with creative ways to abbreviate words.  For example your becomes UR, are becomes R, two or to or even too becomes 2 and so on.  Many IM abbreviations such as LOL, ROFLMAO, TTYL, TTFN, IMO have also made their way into tweets.  Creativity reigns when the message is longer than 140 characters.

I found Twitter a number of years ago, and slowly dragged many in my family kicking and screaming convinced my family to try it.  My son has one but never uses it, my daughter refuses to come to the dark side, but my brothers, sister, parents and many of the nieces and nephews use it now.  Many in the blogging community use Twitter to alert their followers of a new blog post. News organizations give short headlines with links to breaking news and weather.  Many businesses like Papa John’s Pizza have tweeted coupons/specials only made known to their Twitter followers.

Blogging, be definition is an online diary or journal.  For some it is a form of a notebook.  How public they wish to make it is up to the author.  Some are wide open, others password protected.  Many blog under a pen name for anonymity while others put their real name to their work.  Bloggers are as varied as people, everyone from mommy bloggers who write about their kids and parenting, to politicians and celebrities. They put out there whatever it is they wish to share with their readers.

Twitter is micro blogging – sharing whatever the owner of that ID wishes to share with their followers.

Like with any author, we often share pieces of someone elses writings when we find it of interest.  Either within our blogs or on Twitter, or in books etc.

This is how I use Twitter:

  • To share quotes and tweets from others I follow that I think are good, cool, touching etc.
  • My random thoughts and actions I feel like sharing.
  • To alert my followers of a new blog post I put up.
  • To share others blogs I think are worth checking out.
  • To share weather, headlines etc that come across my feed if I think they are note worthy to some.
  • To once in a while respond to a tweet from another.
  • To alert friends and followers where I am at the moment via Foursquare which updates on my Twitter feed.
  • And a host of other reasons.

I follow 148 others on Twitter at the moment, that is subject to change up or down on any given day but rarely goes up. Everything from inspirational quotes to other bloggers to news stations that put out headlines and family members.

I currently have 404 people following me on Twitter, and that number rises and falls from day to day but not by many. I have no idea why they all follow me but they do.

You can chose to make your Twitter ID private so only your approved followers can see what you tweet (publish).  Or, like me, you can leave your Twitter wide open so anyone can view it and follow you.  There are family members that I follow that keep their ID locked down so only those they chose to have in the family can see what they tweet.  That is fine for them.  I keep mine open, it is what I chose to do.

Recently it came up from one of my followers that they didn’t care for all the retweets of other Tweeters tweets.  I assume of course that was directed to me, as I do retweet a good number of things I find interesting or amusing.  They felt that if they cared what someone else was tweeting they’d be following that person too.  Another member backed that up and said they don’t let others in ‘our network’.  See, who you let follow you and you follow is YOUR network.  I have my own larger circle that follows me and I follow, yours happens to over lap a few of mine but not many.

I share what I wish, because this is MY Twitter ID and I put out there what I WANT to share.  If you find that too much, don’t follow me.  Just like with Chad Ocho Cinco, I follow him on and off throughout the year.  At times he tweets so much that I just stop following him for a while, then other times I am highly amused by what he puts out.  But I am not going to tailor my tweets to what my followers think I should be sending out.  404 people on my follower list all have a different reason for why they follow me.  If you don’t care for what I send out, then don’t follow me.

For family and close friends I now have a new Twitter ID so that they can follow me without all the retweets. Hopefully now everyone is happy.

Do Not Judge Me

Jul10

I didn’t get up and go to church today, but that is because I had something to do that I felt needed to be done.

I have not made it to church for a month and a half, but don’t assume anything simply because I am not there.

My life has been full of hills and valleys, more than you will ever know and there has been a good deal of pain and suffering that were not of my making. 

Sometimes when the cards are down or things have been difficult, I withdraw for a while, it is how I cope.  Don’t assume the worst.

Just because I’m not sitting in a pew doesn’t mean I am not in the Word, or in prayer on a regular basis.

Yes, sometimes I compare my life to the lyrics of songs NOT by the Christian artists, that is because in trying to  express myself at the moment, P!nk has it more on than Jason Gray.  Using the lyrics to try to bring across where  I am or was or what I am feeling is  NOT promoting the artist, it is about the words of the song and how they spoke to ME.

You know nothing about what is in my heart.

When you have walked a mile in my shoes, then you can feel free to  point out the things in my life that need work.  The Lord is working on many areas, just not the  ones you seem to have issues with, but trust me, He is at work and there is plenty of it to work on.

Do not judge me.

Warning Lights And DEFCON 3

Jul9

Home late,  up entirely too early (such is life with cats) and now mulling over much in my mind.  Had couple cups of coffee with mom and Diva Boo, but now just sitting here thinking…and thinking some more.  It is what I do on Saturday mornings, contemplate the events of the week, and process it all.  I am in serious processing mode today.  I NEED some road therapy, and very much hoped to be on the back of Mr. Wonderful’s bike today riding off in any old direction until  we felt like turning around and coming back.  Unfortunately he  wrestles tonight and so that won’t work out.   That sucks, he is always good for helping me sort out my thoughts and asks the pointed questions I so need to hear and answer sometimes. I may have to take this to floating raft therapy instead..drifting about the  pool at Yatz and Angeo’s.

Long ago on another blog, at a happy and reflective  time in my life, I had written about how much I LOVE railroad crossings.  Trains are in my blood, my grandfather was a railroad engineer back when there were steam locomotives.  Several uncles and cousins worked for the railroad over the years.  I remember one night,  an early anniversary dinner at The Iron Horse Inn, you could FEEL the trains coming when you were dining, and things throughout the room vibrated as they passed by.  I LOVED it!  When me and Prince Charming left to go to our car a train was coming and I walked over near the tracks (poor guy probably thought I was going to throw myself in front of it, as he cautioned me to back up a bit) and I stood there with my eyes closed as it roared past, absorbing the vibrations through my body, feeling the wind against my face.  Tons of brute force and energy  in that engine, totally outstanding!  I have a friend that lives near tracks, they are probably not 20 feet  from her back fence.  She would laugh when we were there playing cards or eating, and I’d here the bells on the crossing a few houses down and bolt out the back door to go stand by the fence when the train went by, again closing my eyes and FEELING the tremendous power of the engines.

Railroad crossings are my favorite break time.  The lights start flashing, the gate comes down and you are stuck sitting there as the train passes, sometimes very fast and other times seemingly crawling at a snails pace.  Everyone around me is rolling their eyes in  their cars, I’m grinning like a kid at Christmas.  The sounds of the wheels clickty clacking over the tracks is like therapy for me.  From a symbolic stand point, I always take the flashing red lights to mean STOP, breathe, relax and THINK.  Just sit still and evaluate life…your goals, priorities, the road you are on at the moment.  Examine for just a few minutes where you are and where you are headed. REST a moment, life is going by fast, think it through.  It was funny really, I would cross this set of tracks every morning and afternoon in Glendale, the same tracks that pass The Iron Horse Inn,  and to get caught at the crossing was a rare treat.  Lots of trains roll through but it was only every once in a while that I actually got stuck waiting for one.  I took those as Divine intervention into my life to stop, think, pray,  etc. for just a few minutes.  Without a doubt each time it was when life was moving along fast and I wasn’t paying close enough attention to things.  Red lights were a warning for me.

I pay attention to my gut now, because I learned through those many waits at the crossings to take time to pay attention to my instincts.  We all have a 6th sense to us, and some are way more in tune to theirs than others.  I’ve tuned mine in very clearly for the most part over the years, as it has never failed me.  Like an internal traffic light, our gut instinct will flash green, yellow or red to guide us through life.  I will turn to prayer and my Bible when the lights start flashing yellow or red, seeking guidance in how to proceed.  I also turn to others that are not emotionally attached to situations to help me think through things,  like the Divas, or Mr. Wonderful.

I have a bright yellow caution light flashing at the moment.  Not a red, warning, don’t walk, but a yellow, go slow and sharpen the senses, use care and really be observant kind of light.  Those  lights are frustrating compared to green or red, because they are so FIXED.  This instinct light doesn’t give the answers, it tells me to LOOK for them, the signs, clues, indications etc…walk but with slow, careful, cautious and very aware steps.  Be on guard, DEFCON  3 internal level of alertness has been activated.  Stop, look and listen…

Not As Young As I Once Was…

Jun24

O.M.G.

What the heck was I thinking?????

I am so T-I-R-E-D….

Yesterday my baby girl turned 21.  Last night we went out to my favorite little pub to have a drink to celebrate.  Me in my moment of temporary insanity wisdom tagged people on Facebook to come out and join us.  It quickly turned into a small party.  Her brother, old neighbors, my brother and Diva Angeo, my ex-husband (oh yes, I was nice and he did his best to play nice in the sandbox too), and several others showed up.  I crawled in bed about 2:30 this morning.  But not before lots of fun, photos of 3 of us (one being my daughter) up drinking on the bar, and a lot of “oh stay for one more mom/Marti”.  I must be insane!!!  While this time I did not get totally hammered, whenever I am out with my son it is usually a “you will pay for this later, self” kind of time.  I am paying for it thankfully from lack of sleep and not a royal hangover.  But then I didn’t do shots or play drinking games, I actually CAN behave sometimes!

I am so far beyond exhausted this morning.  Most of this week I have had insomnia at some point during the night, waking up unable to go to sleep again.  And now, here I sit, sucking down coffee like I  need it to breathe (which as tired as I am I probably DO).  Miss Marti will be dead on her feet today. Jumper cables may need to be used to keep me going today.

I remember a time, in my much younger days, when I could do this all week long and be bright eyed and bushy tailed the next morning, sometimes not even going to bed between the party and the next work day.  Those days are long gone!  Good grief I am getting too old for this!  Who am I kidding, I AM too old for this!  Ah but it was fun :)

~*~

 

*photo by Maggie Smith/www.freedigitalphotos.net

Blogging – Balance or Bail?

Jun20

I’ve come to the point of questioning myself and my blogging, as far as continuing on the current path, achieving a balance or just bailing. I have practiced a policy of non-censorship in my writing as far as sharing information from my thoughts and heart.  My writing is my therapy and I just let things fly when I feel like it.  But I have been given food for thought several times that makes me sit back and ponder.

I have been told people think I am some kind of a nut case, based on my postings.  I admit freely,  that in the early days of  this blog page I was a mental and emotional train wreck.  My world had been flipped on end and I was all over the map.  I think most folks going through a divorce ARE all over the charts like that, the difference is my readers were given a look inside my heart and head, places the average soul isn’t so willing to share.  I received plenty of emails from others telling me it was nice to see that they were not alone in feeling they were fragmented.

It is difficult at times to write knowing that something might upset someone I love and hurt their feelings.  Or that what is said might impact them in other ways, as in friends reading it and thinking my offspring have a looney tune for a mother.  Okay they do but that isn’t the issue.  Sometimes when I vent it can put my kids or friends in a place of feeling they are stuck in the middle of say me and the ex husband.  A lot of folks just don’t seem to understand I can be pissed as hell and vent it but that doesn’t mean I hate him.  Fantasy dialog a friend used to call it.  Where you make a remark like “life would be so much easier if so-n-so fell in front of a moving freight train”.  Of course you don’t mean it, but venting does help one feel better.

I struggled with the idea of just not blogging anymore, however I love to write and don’t want to give it up.  I am very open about things in my life, and that sometimes may be too much information for those close to me.  But finding the balance of being true to myself, uncensored and still being careful how it impacts others…well it was giving me a headache to say the least.

This morning my blog buddy, Cinful Cinnamon, sent me a link to check out a blogger that has  similar dilemmas and her solution.  I like it.

I have started a page, The Private Thoughts of Marvi Marti. The page is part of this site, listed up top, that is password protected.  Just because you ask doesn’t mean you will be given access.  Those  given the password must be trusted to keep what they read there to themselves.  It is to protect the feelings of those closest to me.  It is a look into my private thoughts, into my heart and only select individuals will be given that much access.  Contact me at marvimarti@gmail.com to request access.

So, I  feel better now that I can continue my page and still let it fly when something is itching to be written that might not sit so well with the audience of this page as a whole. Thanks, Cinnamon, fantastic idea!

My Imperfect Yet Colorful Canvas

Jun3

Better to get to the end of your journey & look back on a colorful, imperfect mess than a blank canvas.

~ http://thesinglewoman.net/

I follow The Single Woman on Twitter and on her page, her wisdom in life and relationships is often right on the money for me!

My life is a colorful, imperfect mess.  The canvas has yet to be completed but don’t look for a masterpiece there.  Well, on second thought, DO. I AM a masterpiece, I am me..totally unique, wonderful, me.  Consider yourself lucky if I bring you into my life for any length of time, because there is no one you will ever know quite like me!

Yesterday I posted some things about myself, here are  more of the colors on the canvas that is Marvelous Martha:

I drink a lot of coffee, straight black coffee.

I prefer diet coke over soft drinks.  I don’t drink it because it is diet, I drink it because I like it.  Yes, I am one of those women that orders a bunch of crappy food at the drive  through and a diet.  DUH, I know it is not off setting the junky calories and fat grams!!!  I  HATE regular soda, way too sweet tasting for my tongue.  So stop looking at me like I am an idiot when I order!

I have a tendency to have too many little projects going at once and not always finish them.  I think I am likely ADD, big  shocker there most of the women in this family seem to be.

I cannot dance  worth crap.  Oh slow  dancing is passable.  But I don’t usually get on the dance floor at a club or wedding, not my thing.  Don’t ask, there isn’t enough beer to get me to prove this.

I am very careful with my heart, so if I am foolish enough to give it to you and you break it, you won’t likely get a second shot no matter how much I felt for you.  Yes foolish.  I’ve yet to give it to any man that didn’t either drop it or deliberately shatter it.  I’m getting tired of it being on life support and beginning to believe my ex-husband was right when he said “all us men are pigs”.

I forgive easily enough, but I don’t forget and I never trust the person again once my trust is broken.

I love summer, because I HATE being cold.  Sure snow is beautiful and I appreciate that and enjoy watching it.  But cold is painful.  Give me tropical climates!

I am not thin.  I am not fat.  I’m a tad curvy, and I am comfy with and LIKE my curves.  Not even plump, just curvy (big boobs and hips that carried 3 babies).   I will not lose weight or put it on for any man.  Take me as I am or take a hike.

I enjoy being dressed up, but hands down I far prefer my jeans thanks.  And a t-shirt or a sport jersey, with my face all painted up for my team.  I am just a simple, low maintenance woman.

I need readers, and it sucks.  But I’m trying to grow old gracefully so I deal with it.  They tend to hang around my neck on a chain, just like my grandma.  Don’t judge, at least I can find them!

I have all my own teeth, none of which are removed and placed  in a glass or other container.

My eyes are grey.  Not blue, not green, not hazel, but honestly grey.  They pick up color and reflect it, and they change to a deep blue at times with my moods.  I only learned this recently when my best friend, Stan/Mr.Wonderful, noticed it and told me.  He was the first man that ever took time to look into my soul.  I never met anyone else, including my ex-husband, that wanted to go there to see my deepest dreams, longings, and fears…my very vulnerable side.  Out there somewhere is Mr.  I Don’t Want To Live My Life Without You Beside Me, and if he plays his cards right and doesn’t push, but takes the time to LOOK, he’ll get to see inside my soul too. (Frankly not holding my breath on that one)

Christmas is my favorite holiday.  I love that time of year and cannot get the tree up soon enough.  I love all the shows, the colors, decorations etc.  I am like a kid!

I love Mounds bars, if kept in the refrigerator, and M&Ms the same way.

I hate wearing shoes! I prefer to run around in socks, hence I go through a lot of them.  I even kick my shoes off in church and they remain under the pew in front of me for the entire service.  :)

I love to read…it is like a drug to me.  I will even read the shampoo bottle in the shower  if I haven’t had a good reading fix lately.  Don’t smirk, at least I read!

I wear a bridal set on my left hand.  It is NOT the one my ex put on me years back, I purchased this one because I like it.  It keeps the heat off.  No, not bragging, but it does minimize unwanted advances and I do get my fair share.

Eating out is fun, but cooking with someone in the kitchen is much more so!

I DO want to learn to throw darts.  I enjoyed the brief stint, even though all I was ever really told was “throw at the center of the board”.  Hoping someone will take up the teaching and REALLY teach me.

I like to bowl, I have my own ball and shoes…thinking me and my sister need to find another league soon!

I love Chipotle Mexican Grill….I eat the same thing every time I go. YUM!

I love cold fried chicken!

Dark chocolate is WAY better than milk chocolate any day.

My ice cream should never be served without special dark chocolate syrup and walnuts.

My hearing is starting to go, so  loud places make it very difficult for me to hear, I prefer a bar without live music when talking to someone. Or to sit outside on the patio where  I can hear my friend and the music.

My idea of group therapy is a circle of friends around a table and a cooler full of beer….or a table at the local bar.

My idea of one on one therapy is wine and a blanket under the stars with someone special to talk too.

Okay okay, enough viewing this canvas for now.

T.G.I.F.

What Is Your Favorite Quote? Why?

May23

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
~ Marilyn Monroe

THAT right there is one of my all time favorite quotes.  Joe, one of my devoted readers and president of my blog fan club, says that many of my posts are primers for anyone that dares to love me.  That quote should be plastered all over their brain and heart too, regarding me, it sums things up pretty nicely.

I’m selfish….

Indeed, very much so.  What’s mine is mine and I am very protective over it.  I don’t want to share the man in  my life with anyone, at least as far as intimacy goes.  I tried that, it was not for me.  Those moments alone, making love, should be reserved for  just the two and no one else. Once you have shared that what is left that belongs to just you and your mate? What is sacred, special, priceless? Nothing!  I am also just a bit selfish when it comes to time spent.  I expect it….demand it.  Doesn’t have to be endless hours or at my beck and call, but I want quality time with the man that is mine.

I’m impatient….

I don’t like to wait for what I want.  When I find it, I want it now.  I’ve been forced to be more patient in my last, brief relationship than I would have imagined possible.  And I did pretty well if I do say so myself though it got me absolutely no where, nothing for the effort.   Life is short and I want to grab the gold ring and run with it,  patience was lost on this girl.

A little insecure….

OH hell yes, that would be me.  I’m horribly self conscious, never feel like I measure up.  When someone loves me I need reassurance and often.  Why? Because you can only be told that you are:

wonderful
amazing
have a heart of gold
kind
gentle
a total package
sexy
smokin hot
low maintenance/high return
perfect fit
etc. etc. etc….so many times, yet always be left by the men that say it, before you just don’t buy that bullshit they are selling anymore.  If I really am all of those things, then why the hell would anyone leave it behind?

I make mistakes….

Oh where to start? My life is full of them and I’ve learned lessons from every one.  My intentions 99%  of the time are good, but I still mess things up.  Obviously that is the case, as I keep messing things up all along the way with every relationship I’ve ever been in.  It must be me, because I always get  left behind.  Even the most recent, I simply, as he put it, beat him to the punch.  I have no idea what I did wrong, but I screwed something up somehow.

I’m out of control and at times hard to handle….

Yep, there are times when I am out of control.  I have a few beers and get a little crazy.  I get a wild idea in my head and cannot shake it.  I am very free spirited and tend to not think before I act.  I go off half cocked at times when I’m upset.  It’s the same intense passion that drives the good in me, driving the less than stellar qualities. I’m stubborn as the day is long, goes with being a Taurus.  I will not budge once I dig in my heals until you can prove to me that I’m wrong, and even then good luck.

But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best….

My best is pretty damn awesome and wonderful.  Amazing even.  My soft side that I rarely expose is a treasure from what I have been told.  But that is part of the whole.  The greater part of the complete package, but there is the worst parts of me.   And if you want my best you have to be willing to accept my worst.  It doesn’t rear it’s head often but it is there.  And anyone that cannot handle that part of me, doesn’t come close to deserving the best parts of me.  A friend told me that is why no one has lasted yet, because so far none have been worthy to have me.  I like that.  I don’t buy it but I like it.  :)

And that brings up the second favorite quote, as I go on looking for my soul mate, the man who can handle and love me at my worst and my best, and walk through this life as my partner:

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up.  Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends.  Don’t let go of them.  Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.  As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too.  And babe, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything.  Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything.  Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”
~ Marilyn Monroe

Sex To Sell Carrots???

Nov5

This to me is very creative marketing, they even make reference to ‘overt sexual innuendos’ with the male voice  in the background.  I’m just wondering how  long until some parent group starts having a canary over it.  Then again, is using sex to sell carrots a good idea?  The jury is out in my mind, so I’m asking YOU, the readers,  chime in (hey I’m a comment whore I love comments) and let me know what you think!

 

Bundles Of Love For $1200

Oct29

I had to run over to the pet store to pick up some dry kitten food. My daughter tells me my baby, Pixel Kitten, needs to be on it til she is a year old so she is getting enough fats and proteins for her little, rapidly growing body. When I walked in the door, there in the display case I saw the cutest little Yorkie puppies. OMG I SO want them both! Floppy ears (so glad no one had their ears done) and so blasted adorable.

If I had $1200 I’d have walked out with both of them and figured out what to tell my mom later. Seriously, she could not have been around these adorable babies and not wanted to keep them, they are SO cute! They’d be loved all to death in the Diva Den, spoiled totally rotten with attention and affection. Diva Sarah would have them sleeping with her, she wants a dog so bad. Two would make her whole year on the spot!

Of course, they are males…which means they don’t quite make it in the estrogen tank of 5 women and 2 female cats. But we could name them Arthur and Lancelot, 4 legged ‘prince charmings’ that would never let us down. SIGH…oh well, I can dream!