Monthly Archives: September 2012

The Elf On The Where?

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I love the holiday season.  For me it starts Monday, October 1st and runs through New Years Day.  Halloween and all things spooky kick it off and it rolls through 3 months, 1 full quarter of the year.  Seems appropriate that deep winter follows, good time to hibernate after all of the activity.  I even coordinate my cell phone wallpaper and texting theme (I use GO SMS Pro) to the various holidays.

As  far as Halloween goes, I’m not into haunted houses unless it is the real deal, like Waverly Hills Sanitorium or some such truly haunted place.  I do not like masks on people, I need to be able to see their eyes to be comfortable. And I am no fan of anything or anyone jumping out at me or touching me.  In other words I am not one that likes being scared by pranks and stage makeup, but I am into paranormal type frights because I’m not scared by that, just fascinated.  I do enjoy the fun side of Halloween, like carving pumpkins and cute witches  and goblins that come ringing my doorbell, fun foods for parties and even a good costume party if folks dress creatively.

Thanksgiving is like intermission with food.  I enjoy food.  REALLY enjoy food, goes with being a Taurus, there is an ongoing love affair with all things delicious and edible, and a bittersweet relationship with the scale as a result.  Thanksgiving day is just for loading up on calories for energy for Black Friday shopping, and a great excuse to bring the family together.  Hopefully you don’t  wait for such occasions to have your family come by for dinner.  Around the Diva Den all it takes is a phone call in the afternoon and some creative combining of resources to produce a family dinner.

My all time favorite holiday is Christmas.  So much so that thanks to living in this very big house, we can have 2 trees, which is my dream.  I love decorating trees, and would have one in every single room!  Even my bedroom has a tree, a Charlie Brown tree :)  because it  is such a great Christmas show.  I love the decorations, smells, sounds…everything about this holiday rocks!  We have a tradition of watching “It’s A  Wonderful Life” on Christmas Eve after all the festivities are done and we’re in our jammies.

I want  to start a new tradition this year.  I get that in this house everyone is an adult, and while we believe in the spirit of Santa, we’ve gone beyond truly believing in the person.  However, traditions can be fun for adults even if they are mostly for kids.  Last year I stumbled on the whole Elf On The Shelf craze just after the holidays.  I think the entire thing is just adorable and my hat is off to the authors of the book, who have created a very special tradition in so many families around the globe.  Even though we are adults, I want to ‘adopt’ an elf and begin the tradition.  I’m checking out the local adoption centers, you can find your local centers on the website, Elf On The Shelf so you can adopt your own family elf.  For those parents looking for creative ideas for their elf to be found each day, I found this cute blog of 100 Mischievous Elf Ideas, they are great!

It is never too early or too late for that matter, to start thinking of ways to make holidays more fun and enjoyable for children young and old alike!

Wine & Cheese ~ 54th Serving

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Welcome to Wine & Cheese, my weekly, Wednesday whine session.

**SPOILER ALERT** – If you watch Sons Of Anarchy and have not yet seen episode 3 of season 5, don’t read the WINE!

Many weeks on Wednesday I devote a blog to whining. Despite being a really happy, positive person, I do have things that annoy me at times.

I never let anything grate on my nerves for long but thought it would be fun to vent them periodically in my blogs.

I also feel that good things, the cheese in life, should be acknowledged as well.

I’m even going to throw in a bit of dessert, a piece of virtual chocolate, something that made me laugh or smile just a bit more than normal.

If you’d like to read the past editions of Wine & Cheese just click HERE for all of the past postings.

Sit back and join me now for the 54th  serving of some wine and cheese!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

WINE

:(  People who get to the counter at a fast food place, then decide what they want.  And they take FOREVER to make a choice.  Stop talking while in line and figure it out. OR don’t get in line until you do.  The rest of us have somewhere to be too, and that is why we are opting for the fast food option.  You are making it not so fast.

:(  Bullies, of any type!  Especially those in the high school in West Branch who pulled this very mean prank on one of the girls there.  Bullies and stalker types need to get a life.  I even know of one who ended up in psychiatric care, suicidal, and now bullies others!   With any luck the zombies will get them first!  Bunch of jealous, narcissistic psychos. Embrace your awesome, cool self, Whitney Kropp, being unique is what makes you special!

:(  Shame on you, Sons Of Anarchy and writer/producer Kurt Sutter!  I am still in shock after last night’s episode 3 of season 5.  ARGH!!! No No No! Not Opie!!!  Okay it was a fantastic episode, and to be a really great show you sometimes have to kill off a beloved, main character, but wow.  That on the heels of the 1st episode of the season, just WOW.  RIP Opie.

CHEESE

:)  NCIS is back!!!  Drooling over Gibbs (Mark Harmon) is my favorite Tuesday night activity.  That and drooling over Jax (Charlie Hunnam) on Sons Of Anarchy.  YUM!

:)  Autumn is here and I am loving it.  It will be better when the trees change but they are starting too, and it is getting to be fire place season again.

:)  Which brings me to holiday season!  Monday is October 1st, Halloween is headed our way.  Then Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I love this time of year.

:)  ERMAHGERD!!! – because that ‘word’ makes me laugh.

DESSERT

A double helping today because….well because life is too short not to double up on dessert!

Post It Note Tuesday ~ TV Style

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I LOVE this meme/hop!  It had vanished for a while, but I see that it is B-A-C-K!

If you want to join in and link up, just google for a sticky or post-it note generator, make your notes and then link up by clicking the yellow note at the end of this post to get to the hostess,

Only Parent Chronicles.

Let the PINT being!

~*~

Click this note below to join in!

Only Parent Chronicles

Coloring Outside The Lines - How It Began

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Reblogged from The Prodigal Daughter's Return:

Click to visit the original post

Sin never seems to just burst through the door waving a flag, blowing on a bugle and screaming "COME ON FOLLOW ME!"  Instead it creeps in slowly, at least in a believer's life.  Like David on the roof top, maybe we look just a little too long, or take a second glance.  Someone flirts and we flirt back.  Someone gossips or speaks ill of someone, and instead of shutting it down by changing the subject or walking away we join in and make an unkind remark.  

Read more… 1,100 more words

Coloring Outside The Lines – How It Began

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Sin never seems to just burst through the door waving a flag, blowing on a bugle and screaming “COME ON FOLLOW ME!”  Instead it creeps in slowly, at least in a believer’s life.  Like David on the roof top, maybe we look just a little too long, or take a second glance.  Someone flirts and we flirt back.  Someone gossips or speaks ill of someone, and instead of shutting it down by changing the subject or walking away we join in and make an unkind remark.  Someone tries to provoke us and instead of praying for our enemies as God commands, and loving them as His Word instructs, we poke back.  Maybe we reason away that one drink won’t hurt anything when we know we might have a problem controlling our alcohol intake.

Regardless of what it is, we let it slip in through a crack that forms in our foundation.  That crack happens when we take our eyes off the Lord, when we start letting other things come between us and prayer time, study time, and gathering with other Christians.  Maybe it is a TV show, or a football game, staying up late and over sleeping on Sunday morning.  Whatever it is we allow things to start taking priority in our lives.  In and of themselves they are not bad or wrong things, but we let them come before what is most important.  And anything that we put ahead of the Lord is an idol.  Over time we hold that up, giving it attention when something else should be getting our attention.  The crack starts there.

What begins as a hairline crack, nearly undetectable at first, starts to grow in length and width.  Not fast, mind you.  It takes time.  We start to notice short comings in others because if we are focused on them and their behavior, we are not focused so much on our own.  We become disgruntled, the crack grows more.  Dirty water from around the foundation begins to seep in through the crack.  Just a drop here and there, but then bigger drops, and more of them, until it is a tiny stream.

The bible says in James 1:12-15:

12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. 13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. 14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

We’re first tempted, when we let our desires seep in through the cracks.  We are enticed by fantasies and dreams, and we begin to breathe life into them, verbalizing and sharing them.  As time goes by they grow and become more prominent in our speech.  Before long those desires conceive and give birth to sin.  We act upon the desires and fantasies, and the crack breaks open more and sin is born.

That is exactly how it happened.  Time, events, “life” got in the way of what was important.  Little by little, we let more and more things become more important than being at church.  And the fantasies began to be voiced, talked about, used to entice and excite.  In time they were acted upon and we began to lead 2 lives, one that on the surface looked like we were good, church going, bible believing Christians.  The other was kept in secret and away from the eyes of friends and family.  We made new “friends” that helped us to justify what we were doing.  Consenting adults, it wasn’t sin if we both were in agreement.

The first clue that something is a sin might be the ‘secret’ part.  When you have to hide it, there is a reason.  Cheating on your spouse usually starts out with secrets…texts, flirts, emails, conversations, meeting up for drinks or lunch, things you do when your significant other is not around.  Things you would never do in front of them with their full knowledge because it is WRONG and you know darn well what their reaction would be.  If you cannot share it with the church family, or your blood family because they would ‘judge’ your actions as wrong, then maybe you need to be thinking again.  Hidden things, secret things, things that could cost you your position in the church, damage your testimony and/or reputation, cost you your marriage….yes those things are not okay, or you would not be hiding them.

We justified that they would not understand, even tried to convince ourselves that God never intended for us to be monogamous because after all, He made us with these desires and as long as we go home each time with our spouse at the end of the night or party, then it is okay.  If it was we wouldn’t have been hiding what we were doing.  I believe deep down we both knew very well what we were doing was completely wrong and sinful.  But oh the fun, the parties, the open mindedness.  Sharing intimacy wasn’t really my  thing, that was the other half’s joy.  But I enjoyed the parties, dressing inappropriately sexy and embracing the knowledge that I was sexy, desirable and so many men wanted me.  Sure, that was indeed a draw, but what I really wanted more than anything was for my spouse to feel that way about me, and me ONLY.  But I walked into this with him and saw no real way out.  Instead of shutting down those fantasies when they first came up, I put him on the pedestal and tried my best to be what I believed he wanted.  I am just as guilty as he is for where we went.  I could have prayed for him, steered things gently away from the sinful desires, but I opted to feed the flames.  I put my husband’s desires and happiness ahead of the Lord, I actually made him my idol.  I carried things entirely too far from his being my hero and center of my world, when I should have had his spiritual health, the state of his soul as my major concern.  Instead of praying, I added to the temptation.  I ate from the forbidden fruit through the images I’d verbally weave and handed the fruit off to him.

Let my coloring book stand as a warning.  We cannot allow even the smallest temptation to cross over into our lives.  Once we let just the smallest sin in, it takes over and grows.  I have no idea who said it, but I’ll stop tonight with this thought, as it is so very true:

Sin  will take you further than you want  to go.  It will keep you longer than you want to stay.  And it will cost you more than you want to pay.

10 Things On The Floor Throughout The House

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I suppose I should mention that these 10 things on the floor throughout the house are not necessarily out of place, just things I noticed on the floor as I toured about in order to join in today’s Monday Listicles because I’m in the mood to write.  Well okay perhaps they are out of place and this will serve as a list of things for me to put away.  There is a novel idea!

10 Things On The Floor

1.  Backpack from the little girl I watch before and after school.  It is in the living room on the floor where she unpacked her homework.  She’ll be taking it with her when she goes, nothing for me to do here.

2.  3 catnip pouches are visible, one right next to my foot here in the kitchen, under the table.  Our cats are little nip-heads and love to lay around the house getting high.  Hmm, nothing to mess with here, it keeps them happy and they know  when we move their things.  It upsets them. They are OCD.  We just learn to live with it.

3.  A large krinkle ball that is another cat favorite, and since they are not ones to put their toys away it is down on the family room floor.

4.  A crochet bag is on the floor in front of the love seat.  My sister is working on a gorgeous blanket for my grandson so it is sitting nearby her at all times.  Not really out of place to be honest, as that is the place she will camp and work on it later.

5.  3 Avon boxes are currently sitting on the living room floor because I’ve been a bit lazy in getting them down to the office.  I have no excuse to offer, just lazy.

6.  Pillows from the other love seat in the living room, because it is hard to sit on it when the decorative pillows are on board.  I can use the excuse that well, someone might want to sit down later…right?

7.  Hello Kitty slippers are on the floor in my bedroom.  I rarely don’t have them on my feet so no point in putting them in the closet, as I’ll just pull them back out again in no time.  That is my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

8.  A stray tissue that hadn’t made the trash can in the bathroom off the family room, because someone missed their 3 point throw.  That has been fixed!

9.  Froggie rug in the bathroom at the top of the stairs.  But he belongs there and on mornings that it is cold out he is a welcome covering to the tiles to keep bare feet from the shower from getting chilled.  He can stay put!

10. A glass tomato that is a paper weight but is currently doing duty as a door stop in front of my bedroom door, lest the breeze slam the door shut on one of the cats,  or trap one in my room and they not be able to get to their litter box, which would be a crisis.

Yep that about covers it.

Not Welcome Here!

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I think at some point in life we all dream of having wealth and fame.  To be a household name, with enough money to do whatever we desire on our bucket lists without worrying about how we’re going to pay the electric bill when we are done with our latest adventure.  Pulling up in front of a hotel in our limo, crowds going wild over our appearance when the door opens and our feet, wrapped in only the best designer shoes, hit the red carpet as we are quickly escorted by our security staff through the crowd.  I have no idea what I’d want to be famous for, mind you.  I cannot sing and I’m not one that enjoys being center stage so not sure that kind of fame would do it for me.  And I cannot act either so being a famous movie star isn’t likely to be my ticket to stardom either.  But I sure would not mind all the money and the special treatment that goes with having your name in lights.

Regardless of what would make us famous celebrities, we can dream of that kind of fame.  But what about the responsibility that goes with that well-known name and star on the Hollywood walk of fame?  I’m not talking about being a role model, because sooner or later a sports hero or singer is going to do something we do not want our children to emulate.  I’m thinking more in terms of the idea that having money and notoriety not being a free pass to act irresponsibly or even cross the line into criminal behavior.

In an article I was reading the other day, Top Celebs Banned by Hotels, I was a bit disappointed by the behavior of some, and not at all shocked by the behavior of other well known names of fame.  The  behavior of some of these  people is just juvenile and in many cases would land the average person in jail.  Do these celebrities think that their fame and money makes it acceptable for them to behave this way?  And when are we as ‘fans’  going to start demanding more from those we are making wealthy by attending their concerts and movies?  I don’t mean more as in above average, I’m just thinking in terms of responsible, adult behavior!

One example being John Travolta.  According the article it would seem he has a little trouble keeping his hands to himself when getting a massage in some hotels.  Never mind that the advances are on male employees, the mere fact that he would do this to anyone turns my stomach!  I wonder how long it would take a hotel to show a guest lacking fame and wealth the exit door for such behavior?  And Lil Wayne, he must have quite the reputation if he cannot even check IN to the Wynn, his reputation having preceded his arrival.  And then there is Britney Spears, behaving in a way publicly that no parent would permit from a toddler during dinner.  Some on the rest of the list were a bit of a surprise, others not so much.

What makes these people think that they are some how exempt from acting with some maturity?  Or is it just me?  Read the article and let me know what you think!

God’s Amazing Timing

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For weeks I’ve felt a tug at this prodigal heart to return to church.  And not just any church but the church family I knew and loved in the past. The one that has prayed for me and my ex husband since we walked away years ago. The same loving faith family that welcomed me back almost 2 years ago, before I ran away again.  That same family that once again welcomes me with open arms and tears, and prayers.  Oh how they have been praying and waiting for God to bring me back on track.  Thankfully they never seem to give up.

I had started a Kay Arthur study a few weeks back, Lord, Only You Can Change Me, and also started reading again the book Dan gave me last time, The Way Back To God, Psalm 51 by Clarence Sexton.  Awesome stuff, both of them.  I actually considered working through 3 of Kay’s studies, the other two are Lord, Heal My Hurts and Lord, Give Me A Heart For You but I’m one  woman with a limited amount of hours in a day.  24, just like you.  So I figured it best to stick to those and get in them in depth and take my time chewing on each lesson.  I’m so glad I did, it’s been life changing stuff all over again. These helped me to open my heart again to focus on my faith.

Wednesday evening I went to the midweek service, which was the home groups that meet once a month.  They are starting a new book, Walking Like Jesus Did; Studies In The Character Of Christ.  I also attended the  women’s bible study Friday, and they are just kicking off, this time in Unit 3 of a great study called Gospel Transformation.  

Interesting to me how many new things are starting just as I return.  And all are things I NEED more than I ever realized.  God’s timing is so perfect.

During the past few weeks I’ve really struggled with ME.  My “it’s all about ME” attitude, the idea that my world revolves around me and “if you don’t like it take a hike” line of thinking.  PRIDE much? Yes, I know.  And then my prayer of late, “Lord I believe, help my unbelief”.  I heard that many times over in bible  study Friday, and it is nice to know that while I was away from being fed, my sisters in Christ all struggle daily with many of the same things I do.  When the ladies were doing a quick  review of the last unit and what had touched them in it and unit 1, something stuck out to me regarding the whole “ME” complex I have had.  Idolatry.

The book says, “An idol is anything we believe we need, apart from Jesus, to make us happy, satisfied, or fulfilled.  An idol arises when we desire something more than we desire Jesus; when we fear things rather than God; when we worship ourselves rather than Christ; when we put our trust in anything other than God; when we serve anything other than Jesus.”  The book provides some areas of fear, trust and desire that may be idols to us.  All I can say is wow.  SO many areas that I could check off either in a direct or indirect way.  It is suffice to say that ME has to get bumped aside.  I  know this, knew it weeks ago, and I have to do away with my self centered thinking.  But first comes the root of this ME idol.  That root would be pain.  The pain I still carry around and even cling too, of my divorce.  I am not so sure that I wanted to hurt, as that it is just familiar, like my teddy bear, so I can hold it.  Do I still feel I was wronged? Certainly. But what does it matter? It is done, over and I needed to let it go.  Forgiveness didn’t come easy, but in the past few weeks I truly was able to just let it go and accept the healing that comes from God and not anything of myself.

Before I made the journey back last week, I knew it was not about me anymore. It was about Christ and my walk with Him.  This time when I went it didn’t just feel like ‘home’, this time it felt like I had never left.  I realized at one point that I had to remind myself I had been away a long time, because it felt as if I had never left there and had just been there last week.  And while  kids have grown up and there are been changes to people, so much still felt the same, as if there had been no absence for me.  That was when I realized that I am right where I belong.  And as I sat there, taking it all in, wearing my Harley Davidson long sleeved, v-neck shirt and jeans, with my wild, bleached blond hair, I knew that I can still be me, who I am.  I don’t need to lose the person God created, that Marti is who she is because she was fearfully and wonderfully made.  God doesn’t want me to not be an individual, He wants me to be HIS individual.

SPAM Cafe Friday

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My spam folder on email is always a real treat on those occasions I decide to actual browse through it all.  I never open any of it because I never know what is really in the emails, but the titles alone are always good for a laugh.  Today is no exception.  I cleared it before I went to bed, and this morning there are 42 emails waiting in the junk mail folder.

The Menu today:

MENU

Asian Dating

I now have access to a list of Asian singles near me.  I’m not sure what to say, as I am not looking for any hot, Asian chicks to date. Or men for that matter.

Medicare

Seems it is open enrollment time and they don’t want me to miss out on my chance to be on medicare.  Pretty certain I don’t qualify.

Bed Bugs

Awww…someone wants to protect me from the little blood suckers with bed bug defense.  Thanks but we don’t have that problem.

Hair Loss

Someone named Bosley wants to help me with my hair loss issues.  Funny, I don’t have those, however if they make the cats stop shedding…

Dell Laptop

No less than 5 different places are trying to send me a Dell laptop, via Fed-Ex and all I need to do is provide my shipping address!

Addiction Counseling

How kind, they want to help me with my addictions.  Doubting they have any assistance for addictions to social media.

Get Bigger For Her!

Oh yes, no spam folder is complete without male enhancement products.  I have nothing I need to enhance, sorry.

Increase Your Mobility!

The Scooter Store wants to help me maintain my mobility.  Nice but I’m not having any issues unless they can fly!

It does make me wonder how successful these places are at gaining new customers or identity information from poor unsuspecting folks that really think they are getting a free laptop.

What’s in your spam folder today?

Coloring Outside The Lines – An Over View Of My Coloring Book

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My faith stretches way back.  I grew up in the Catholic church, then when I was married at 19yo, I started attending a Evangelical Free Church.  Later I would attend a Nazarene, Conservative Baptist, Charismatic, and a church that would fall closely under the Reformed Baptist faith.  I’m back to the later.

For about 12 years, when married, I was deeply involved in our church.  I worked in the  nursery, taught junior church, Sunday School, was a youth leader, women’s outreach member…if the doors were open, we were pretty much there.  I ran the needs committee, published and printed the Sunday bulletin, the ex was chairman of the deacon board, yes we were very much involved in our church, and at the time our faith was solid.  Our marriage hit a huge bump in the road, hubby left the deacon board to focus on us, and for a while things in the marriage were outstanding  if you ask me.  And then, we slowly began to color outside of the lines as a couple.

When you color outside of the lines of marriage, you crack the foundation of your solid union.  Over time your heart begins to grow deaf to the voice of God, and turn sour toward the things that would please Him.  We began to nit-pick at everything and before long just up and left that church body.  Without someone to keep us accountable by encouraging our walk, asking us about our prayer life etc, we stopped praying as a couple each night before going to sleep, and we drifted further and further away from the narrow road.

We walked in darkness for a number of years, away from the church and our beloved church family, and participated in things I know grieved not only the Lord but friends and family that simply could not grasp what we were thinking and doing.  Many times I suggested we return to our faith, if not that congregation then another, but the then husband would have no part of it, saying the next time he attended a church would be for his funeral.  I wasn’t going to go alone, and after discussions it was pretty evident he wasn’t willing to give up our outside-the-lines lifestyle.  Keeping him became more important than what I knew was right so I focused on that lifestyle, forgetting where I had once been and who I knew I was deep down.

Once divorced, I did make an attempt to return to my faith.  It was short lived.  It is hard to return as a prodigal, even harder when so much is different.  I lasted a few months and a handful of attacks before I moved on.  Sadly, I easily let so many other things become important so that being at church was no longer a priority.

Now, I know better.  My heart has healed of the past wounds, at least for the most part. There are tender areas and scars but surprisingly little pain when I go to my knees and give it over to the One who can put the spiritual balm on those wounds that actually relieves the pain.  I walked in there Sunday starving and was fed.   Now I crave more, so tonight I will go again for the midweek gathering and have more of what I need.  This time around, I’m not at all uncomfortable there, I’m drawn there and feel more at home than ever.  I know there will come Sunday mornings when the very last thing I want to do is pull myself from my warm bed.  Those days I will have to push myself harder to be there.  I expect there may still come attacks from my enemies, but I’m okay with that too.  It isn’t about them. It isn’t even about me. It’s about Christ and what He would have me to do.  They will answer for themselves, I have to answer for me.

Fat Bottomed Girls Wake You Up Rudely

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No no, this is not a post about one of the many fat bottomed boogers that continue to stalk my writings (though if the spandex splits honey, wear it proudly!).  The reference is about the song, “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen.  It is one of my all time favorites of the band and somewhere I have the CDs though not at all certain any longer where they are stashed.  The song is set for my alarm on my phone.  So bright and early this morning my room is filled with the song.  At 6:30am it is a RUDE sound, very rude.  But it does the trick, I’m up and at ‘em and chipper!  :)

I love mornings when it is quiet and peaceful.  Even rainy days like today are nice in their own way.

This morning as I was sitting here looking at the stats on my blog dashboard.  97,459 visitors have  been to my blog since it began 31 months ago (as of this writing).  That averages out to over 3100 a month.  In the beginning the numbers were lower and most folks were coming to get my side of the  divorce story saga, or relish the raw pain and struggle for happiness.  I had moved to this page from my previous blog because I was not longer to be the wife of my hero, my Prince Charming, the fire fighter.  I left that blog page up, From The Mind Of A Fire Fighter’s Wife because I hate to destroy anything I took time to write.   I started this new page when we began the painful time of ending our marriage.  But most of the time the posts here were not about my divorce and over time my following has grown in great numbers.  I’m must be sharing something here that causes folks to want to check it out and return.  I’ve even been offered money to write posts for my blog for various businesses, but I’ve resisted other than one free, charity post.

My thoughts are always mine, the struggles and triumphs and deep thoughts I share come from my heart.  I share quotes and images at times that are not my own but touched me in some way. I guess what I am saying is that I am simply amazed at the number of readers I have, and that it won’t be too long now and I’ll roll 100,000 visitors.  And that just leaves this fat bottomed girl in awe.

I Color Outside Of The Lines

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I am an oldest child.  My poor parents cut their parenting teeth on me, and survived not only me but 3 more offspring.  They did well though, no one ended up in jail and we’re all pretty responsible members of society.  At  least we fake that part well most of the time :)

I have always been one that is a tad different, maybe even eccentric at times.  I tend to think out side of the box, dance to the beat of an odd drummer, and I color outside of the lines.  All this is a good thing, or can be, if I keep it under the lens of a biblical perspective.  On the simplest of terms, what would Jesus do.  I am not overly fond of that WWJD thing but it works for now.  Perhaps it would be better said, what would a daughter or son of the Most High do, what is the most Christ like, God honoring thing to do?   I love jewelry that is crowns, but not because I think I’m the self-appointed queen of anything.  I love crowns because they remind me that I’m the daughter of the King of the Universe, and that one day every crown I’ve earned will be cast lovingly at the feet of my Savior in heaven.  I wear a cross necklace not to tell everyone around me that I’m a believer (my behavior should do that), but so that when I see it in the mirror, I am reminded to look closely and be sure my reflection is mirroring my Lord and Savior.

Nearly 2 years ago I returned to my home church briefly.  It seemed like a good idea at the time, and it was but I let too much get in the way of it being the life line.  Part of issue I had was that when I went back expecting things to be as I left them, and they were not.  When we left it was “Pete and Marti with the party”.  When I returned it was a solo,  emotionally and spiritually battered mess.  I left and it was various friends, one couple in particular.  I returned and our former best buds were divorced and it was him alone in the pew with his kids.  Other members had left, and there were many new faces.  Then as I was trying to regain my spiritual footing in the midst of feeling judged (my heart issue), a former friend turned enemy decided to send my pastor an email making sure the church knew that they had a wretched sinner among them.  She, claiming to be a born again, God-fearing believer herself, wanted to be certain it was known that I was a former swinger, and that I had ‘attacked’ her on twitter.  It rocked the boat for me just too much.  The wounds of losing my husband in a divorce, the former dear friend turned enemy, the attempts to smear and attack (not to worry they already knew about where I had been), I was unstable and just didn’t last long there before going all lone ranger Christian.  How did that work out for me? Not so good as you can well imagine.

Here I am now, just 2 months shy of the 2 year mark of trying to return, but this time I went back ready.  I am prepared for the storm of judgment and attacks that may or may never come my way, either from others there, others in my life, or that former friend who herself is neck deep still in that swinger lifestyle.  My heart is very aware of where it needs to be each Sunday.  I’m back to being in God’s Word every day, or that is the goal.  I openly admit I miss one now and then but most days it is the case and I’m in the middle of some good bible studies that help too in reaffirming my faith.  This time I’m prepared to stick it out, because I’m not here for anyone by me and the Lord.  I’m there to worship Him, and be fed.  Anyone having an issue with my past, or how I dress, or my wild, bleach blond hair, well that is their issue not mine.  That is between them and God to deal with, not me.

Sadly, when one lives a life of coloring outside of the lines, they leave themselves open for other people to judge.  Okay even those that color meticulously inside of the lines also are objects of others scrutiny.  Anytime you are different from those around you that is just human nature to pick it apart.  Different draws attention.  But different is not always a bad thing.

I dare to be the line pusher, rule breaker and that can be both bad and good.  I have always colored outside of the lines, but not always in a good way.  When we sin we color outside of the clear lines set down by the Lord in His precious Word.  That is a big mistake.  It causes damage, it is sin, and sin always has consequences.  But when I stay within God’s lines, yet color outside of man’s lines? Well that can be a good thing.

I’m going to be doing a series of posts about coloring outside of the lines.  Some will be about my journey off the path and into the pig pen, some will be about my journey back home as a prodigal daughter.  Both are really one big picture of coloring outside of the lines.  But maybe, just maybe, when I’m done, you can see that it isn’t always a sin when the color goes past the boundary, sometimes it can be a beautiful picture if you stand back and look with an open mind.

Leave The Drama To Your Lashes

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I have to do one more product review, for the single best mascara I have ever used.

I play up my eyes the most when I put on my face, they are my best feature.  I used to wear false eyelashes because they really do make your eyes look amazing.  I have even gone the route of lash extensions, but the cost is prohibitive and it is very time consuming to have them applied.

NO MORE!

This past Spring at the Avon President’s Club Gala, in our swag bag of goodies we were given for achieving President’s Club, we were given this new mascara.  OMG it is AMAZING.  I LOVE this stuff!!!! I was so bummed when I finally used up that tube, because I had to wait until this current campaign to get my hands on it again.  IT’S HERE!!!!

Volume and length to die for, I’ve been asked if they are really my lashes!  YES!  And they can be your lashes too!  Avon Drama Mascara doesn’t clump, and comes off easily with eye makeup remover.  And you will have the best looking lashes you have ever had from a mascara!

Best part? Right now, you can order online and all orders of $10 or more ship FREE when you use the code: ESSENTIAL

DON”T Wait! Order your amazing, Drama mascara and leave the drama to your gorgeous eyes! Click —> HERE  <— to go to my website to order! Then click  ”shop my eBrochure” to begin paging through the current brochure and placing your order!

Reaping What We Sow

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Today was the perfect day for me to return to my church home.  Not because it is just a beautiful day weather wise, or because I was awake before the alarm clock sounded.  Not even because, though I was blocked in I managed to get out of the driveway.  This day was perfect because God is perfect and so many things fell into place that I am confident today was meant to be my once again return to church.

It actually began last night when I was listening to some messages online from another church I had been considering trying out for a home place to worship.  The messages are in a series titled, “Unpopular”.  I totally understand why that is too, because there is nothing warm and fuzzy about the messages that were preached over the summer at White Water Christian Church.

The first message was about how it isn’t all about me.  The second on sexual morality.  Mind you I know this, but it was still a bit of a sting.  In choosing a place to return too for worship and being fed I’ve been more concerned about me and far less about doctrine and teaching, and that Christ is glorified above all else.  My heart attitude has been pretty selfish.  I want what I want as far as music for the services, attitudes in others toward me, church on my terms.  Well that isn’t how it works if I want to be taught something solid.  We’re to be imitators of Christ, and that means it cannot be all about me.

In my life I have spent many years justifying things.  First through the swinger years but that is another post, then through being single and feeling that it was okay to have sex with the guys I was dating.  I heard my own words echo back in the sermon message last night, “I know it’s wrong but what am I supposed to do, deny myself????”  Well yes, yes that is exactly what I am to do. Christ denied Himself, came to earth as a man and died.  We are in fact to deny ourselves, imitate Christ, pick up our crosses and walk.  God’s word is not known for its grey areas.  Certainly there are things it does not address, but it isn’t hard to figure out what the right answers would be in relation to God’s word.  Sex outside of marriage isn’t a grey area.  Adultery is pretty specific too.

If it’s about Christ, as my life should be, then it isn’t about me.

If He is in control, I’m not.

If He is God, I am not.

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” ~ Jim Elliot

“Attitude reflects leadership” – Remember The Titans

What does my attitude say about who leads my life?

I went out of here ready for church, with my car blocked in by my niece.  My fault, I didn’t think of it last night so I could get my car in last or put it on the street.  So, determined that I was going, I drove through the lawn to the neighbor’s driveway to leave.    Sunday school was in the book of Judges.  While it spoke to me, and was good for me to hear, it was more about what was to come.  The service really got under  my skin and down into my heart.  From the  opening chorus, then hymn, the reception of a new member (mostly her testimony), the scripture reading  which was Psalm 1 (below) and then the hymn, When Trials Come which is SO good that I’m including the video from Youtube and you should watch and listen, the beat picks up and it’s a beautiful hymn, and  then finally the message from Pastor.  His message was from Galatians 6:7-8.  This was entirely too timely given the messages I heard last night.

Galatians 6:7-8

New King James Version (NKJV)

7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.

WOW do I know the truth of that passage.  For years was a lifestyle that sowed seeds of sin with each fantasy, encounter, etc. and we reaped sin in return.  The final reaping being the end of the marriage.  The consequences were high.  When we attended church we were a better couple, when we started sowing seeds of wrong doing in a sinful field, we fell apart.  That lifestyle was all about self, desires, appetite and little or no thought for God.  The end result was corruption.

But now, my desire is to sow not to my flesh but to the Spirit.  Good seeds so what grows in my life is good.  Not an easy task but then in Christ I can do anything.

I had someone recently tell me basically good luck finding a man, even a professing believer, willing to wait til marriage for sex.   My thought…if he IS a believer he will desire to wait as well.  If not then obviously he is not the one for me.  If I never find him, then I was meant for single life.  There is no grey area.

Psalm 1

New King James Version (NKJV)

The Way of the Righteous and the End of the Ungodly

1 Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
3 He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.

4 The ungodly are not so,
But are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

6 For the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the ungodly shall perish.

Turning Back The Hands Of Time – Pro Line Eraser Product Review

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Okay ladies, and gents – because men want to retain youthfulness too, I feel like I’ve discovered the fountain of youth.  Best part? I work for myself selling the product, it has just been released here in the USA and it is the beauty breakthrough of the century, maybe even better.

What if I told you that this product is SO good that women that were going to undergo cosmetic surgery to minimize their wrinkles actually canceled surgery after using it?

If you knew this product was a fantastic alternative to Botox and other treatments that are similar, PER a dermatologist, would you be impressed?

And suppose I told you that fully 100% of the women who have used this product in clinical studies saw noticeable improvements to their skin?

I could also tell you that this is a bigger break through in skin care treatment than alpha hydroxyl acids and Retinol were.

If I also told you that you could see results, noticeable ones, in as few as 2 weeks of using the product in the morning and evening after using facial cleanser, would you want it?

Okay now what if I mentioned, that this product will sell for $39.99 for the full size, 1 ounce product, but currently it is on sale for $34.99 as an introductory price?

Are you hooked yet?  You should be!

YES it is an Avon product.

Anew Clinical Pro Line Eraser Treatment.

And you can purchase it right  now, online, through my Avon site and shipping is free.

Men and women will love this item.  I’ve started using it myself along with my regular regimen, I LOVE it.

I will give you numerous links to check out reviews:
Will Avon’s $40 wrinkle cream wipe out need for cosmetic surgery?

2012 Beauty Breakthroughs

PSP Plastic Surgery Practice

So Many Pins, So Little Time

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*walks to the podium, head lowered, adjusts the microphone, and speaks softly, “hi, my name is Marti and I am a Pinterest addict”.  From around the world millions chime in, “Hi Marti…..”

Seriously, that would be me, where does one sign up for pinner anonymous?  And I am not alone.  It used to be I heard “oh, are you on Facebook? Add me!”  No one asks anymore, because pretty much most of the free world and then some are on Facebook, now everyone just adds you without asking.  That can be a tad awkward when you get friend requests from people you only know because you sat next to each other at a stop light.  And you know that isn’t  that much of an exaggeration.  Even folks in witness protection have a Facebook.   In fact, I find it difficult to trust anyone that is NOT on Facebook.  Like Long Beach, who you will remember has surfaced again.  He doesn’t have one.

For the record, I did give Tumblr a try, but frankly not impressed.

Pinterest…just WOW.   At first I didn’t get what the big deal was, what was so cool about it.  When I first wanted to check it out you had to be invited by someone else, making it feel like some really cool, virtual, exclusive club.  Now everyone and their grandmother’s maid is on there.  And it is no wonder everyone is on there!

Think of Pinterst as virtual bulletin board and filing cabinet for all of those things you see in a magazine that you want to keep.  Instead of stacks of magazines in the basement that you will never touch again because you cannot remember what it was you wanted to keep, you simply pin things to your boards under your account.  You organize it as you see fit.  At first I just did it for fun but now, I see the serious potential in this.  I pin recipes I want to try, decorating ideas for various holidays, tips for organization, cool looking rooms like home offices to give me ideas for the future.  I even have my dream board on there to motivate me for my business.

I’ve found myself actually using the pins too, like this one for example.  I have a pair of jeans that the zipper refuses to stay up.  Loose or tight fitting, this pair is one of my favorites that floats along with me as my weight shifts, but the zipper is always slipping down.  I saw  the  answer on Pinterest and pinned it:

Not sure who thinks of stuff like that, but thank you!  I LOVE this.

I have 79 boards that I pin things too.  Organization and cleaning tips are among my favorites.  I’ve tried to get my sister-in-law, Martinis Needed, to take the plunge but she is holding out on us.  She would eat this thing up! Even men are getting on Pinterest and pinning all kinds of stuff they want.  I could seriously see my ex-hubby and brothers doing it.  You can pin pretty much from any site and the picture lands on your board but clicking it takes you to the webpage or article you found it within.  I have a board of blogs I like to keep up with so I don’t have to try to remember them or find them in my ‘favorites’ list.  I can also follow others pins, either all of their boards or particular ones.  That was a trick to adjust to at first for me!  I have friends that are into cake decorating, I am not, so I don’t want to see 100 photos of cake ideas. But they have other boards I am interested in the items so I follow those and when something crosses my feed I like or want to remember, I repin to my boards from theirs.

Below is my Christmas Tree Board.  I LOVE Christmas and I’d have a tree in every room if they’d allow me too!  So far, 2 trees add to our decor each year, so far. Waaahaahaaaaaa!  And beneath that is my organization board. It is my shameless attempt to get Martinis Needed to try it out, as she IS the queen of all things organized.  You can click —> HERE to follow me on Pinterest.

Boogers And Clouds In My Coffee

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Actually the clouds are NOT in the coffee, they are in my brain.  Last night I sat up watching season 4 of Sons Of Anarchy with my sister.  We got to about episode 6 or 7 I believe, maybe further.  Clay killed Pinney in the last episode we watched before it was 2:30am and we gave in to our bodies  over riding the want for more SOA with a sincere desire for sleep.  It sure seemed like a good idea at the time, staying up way too late.  Now I’m sitting here with a heavy fog slowly lifting from my thought processes.  I need much more coffee.  I cannot wait until my little sister here is caught up so that we are only catching one episode at a time, on TV, in season 5.  Though I have to admit I became spoiled being able to watch an entire season at a time.  Tuesday nights at 10pm can now not arrive fast enough to suit me, and we’re only one episode into the new season.

This is the part of my life reality show where perhaps a script  might be a good idea, one that says “Marti  exits the scene and tucks her exhausted self into bed early, setting a good example for all of her readers”.  But then if you look to me for a good example of anything, you are seriously in the wrong place.  Unless of course you need an extra for a movie about the zombie apocalypse, in that case I currently look every bit the part and without the help of special effects artists or makeup.  I am the walking dead this morning.  Please don’t shoot me in the head unless you are firing extra caffeine.

This is so cute! I found it while hunting for booger images. Maybe I should buy one and name it after the stalker?

The Booger has finally stopped sticking to me (and my daughter) via our Pinterest boards.   “Booger” is the less than affectionate name I’ve assigned to our stalker.  We’ve all had it happen at some time in life, where we sneeze, covering our nose and mouth with our hands, only to have some nasty, sticky thing end up on our finger and with  no tissue handy try to shake it off but it won’t go.  Then we find some something to wipe it off and it still seems to be there, unrelentingly hanging on.  *Note to my readers:  you are welcome for the visual, no need to thank me!*  That is our stalker, but she finally got the picture and stopped following us.  I have a few more hanger-ons but as long as they keep their snotty (pun intended) comments to themselves and off of my boards and blog posts, I won’t sweat it.  If I had to guess, though, my money says she still looks at the boards, Facebook, Twitter etc, because she is obsessed with knowing what we are doing.   *waves hello to Booger* – Yep, you are still looking aren’t you?  Hopefully not but just in case, I didn’t want to be rude.  I always find it humorous when someone looks at your social media to  see if you are talking about them, then gets their panties in a wad, when if they just didn’t look in the  first place they’d never know.  People can talk bad about me all they like, as long as it is not on my own outlets.  What is that saying, “love me or hate me, either way you are thinking about me!”.  Yeah, I am really powerful like that, occupying folks thoughts, it’s how I roll. *insert wicked, evil laugh*

I really need to find a new allergy medication, the one  I have been using for years is no longer cutting it.  Suggestions welcome!

Happy National Chocolate Day!!!  Think I’ll grab a Hershey Special Dark and celebrate!

Having just returned to the laptop with the umpteenth cup of coffee of the morning, I have to say that is one of the positives of working for myself, from home.  Aside from the fact that I am sporting my zombie attire, is knowing that no one takes the last cup of coffee, leaving a swallow behind, then slinks off without starting a new pot.  Here in the Diva Den it is just assumed that more coffee is wanted and  someone makes a fresh pot.  At the very least when one of us takes the last cup we quickly take a poll to see if another one should be made or if everyone has reached their ideal level of adult ADD meds.  Seems coffee drinkers, I mean serious ones, not those one cup a day types, are believed to be adult sufferers of ADD.  Like the medications for kids, the stimulant of caffeine helps us focus.  Considering I can drink an entire pot (as can the others here) and then go to bed and sleep like the dead, I think there is some accuracy to this line of thought.

Oh look at the time, need to go get ready for a conference call.  Might have to freshen up my look and smear my mascara further down my cheek.

Wine & Cheese ~ 53rd Serving

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It has been a while, time to resurrect Wine & Cheese Wednesdays!  Happy reading  :)

Welcome to Wine & Cheese, my weekly, Wednesday whine session.

Many weeks on Wednesday I devote a blog to whining. Despite being a really happy, positive person, I do have things that annoy me at times.

I never let anything grate on my nerves for long but thought it would be fun to vent them periodically in my blogs.

I also feel that good things, the cheese in life, should be acknowledged as well.

I’m even going to throw in a bit of dessert, a piece of virtual chocolate, something that made me laugh or smile just a bit more than normal.

If you’d like to read the past editions of Wine & Cheese just click HERE for all of the past postings.

Sit back and join me now for the 53rd serving of some wine and cheese!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

WINE

:( Barking Dogs.  As in the neighbor’s was-very-adorable-but-now-is-a-pain-in-the-ear puppy.  They put the poor little guy out there on a chain in the  middle of the back yard to do his business, and of course leave him there for a while.  He  spends the entire time, once he does  his business which takes all of 43 seconds, barking.  Barking, barking, barking, barKING, barrrrrking….you get it.  Now personally I have to be up early so this isn’t keeping me awake or anything, but it does get very annoying rather quickly.  And now that it is the season of “sleeping with open windows”, doggie is wearing out his welcome.  I’m thinking a bagpipe band practicing at about 6am one Saturday should clear that problem.  I happen to know one too.

:(  Allergy season is in high gear.  Well MY allergies are anyway.  For weeks my eyes have been watering, itching, I’m sneezing constantly.  I’m ready to scream.  Even when the A/C was on, seems that the allergies are king for now.  I cannot believe I’m saying this but I cannot wait for winter.  Time to switch allergy meds, obviously mine is no longer effective.

:(  This Autumn the  trees aren’t going to be all that impressive.  It has been SO dry this summer that we will have a less than colorful changing of the leaves.  It finally rained a decent amount, made the front lawn green and no longer crunchy, but too little, too late for the beauty of the trees.

CHEESE

:)  Sons Of Anarchy season 5 premiered last night and did not disappoint.  The stage is now set for some really crazy plot twists this season.  There were some difficult moments to watch but I’m hooked in and love it!

:)  It is FOOTBALL season!  The Bengals again did not disappoint me, getting their butts kicked by Baltimore 44-13.  Okay yes, it is the first game of the regular season, but face it, THEY SUCK!  But they are my team so I can say that.  At least the Crimson Tide of Alabama is off to a fantastic start in the college football scene.  Hopefully the Colts will bring home a win this weekend.  Bearcats and Buckeyes are off to a good start too! :)

:)  As mentioned, tis the season of open windows!!! Very cool temperatures at night mean sleeping to the night sounds again of crickets and other nocturnal creatures.  I LOVE this!

DESSERT

It made me smile, then laugh. Hopefully it does the same for you!

Psalm 51 – The Way Back To God

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I’m re-reading a fantastic book, The Way Back To God by Clarence Sexton.  The dedication in the book reads:

This book is dedicated to all those who have come back to God. I mean by this, true children of God who have drifted and have repented of their sin and cast themselves on God’s mercy for the way back to Him.

In the introduction it mentions that “David’s heart cry in Psalm 51 is the sinner’s guide back to God”. 

A dear friend gave me this book in December of 2010, when I first went back to my church home.  I was the prodigal child, who had gone into the “world” and squandered my riches.  In this case my riches were the blessings, love and support of fellow believers, my testimony of faith, various friendships etc.  At the time I had no idea what was really going on was an issue within MY heart.  Oh, I did not agree with somethings that were being done at my church home, but I did not react in love.  My heart was growing black with a sinful secret life being led while each week attending services to worship.  What could have been an opportunity to share my heart with the elders in my church, and perhaps open their thinking and hearts to a different perspective, became my springboard of justifying leaving.  I still believe things were not handled as they should have been, but I certainly was not behaving in a Christ like manner.  The problem with any church body and leadership is…they are human.  Therefore prone to make mistakes, and we expect them to somehow behave as anything other than sinners, be they saved by grace or not.

King David was “a man after God’s own heart”, precious and blessed by God, protected and loved.  And he loved God too, and served Him and found great favor with God.  Of all people we would not imagine could not only sin, but then keep digging deeper into the pit of darkness, it is King David.  He went from sinful lust, to adultery, to lying, to murder.  This was because, as the book says, “If you allow something to come between you and your walk with God, there is no telling how far you will go and what terrible things you might do if you keep going in the wrong direction.”   Oh true words these are!  I did not take every thought captive to to Christ as the bible teaches to do.  Instead, my thought life led to dabbling in sin, just sticking my hands in the water, then my feet, and before long I was sinking beneath the surface and no longer hearing that still, small voice inside.  I had not dealt with sin before it started, and as I let it in, it took over.  My fault.

David didn’t do what he did over night, it went on for a long time.  It wasn’t until after a child had been born as a result of his sin, a year after the murder of Uriah, who’s wife David had committed adultery with and had a child with, that his sin was revealed.  And while God did in fact forgive David and reconciled their relationship, there were consequences for that sin.  The child died and David’s house never was a place of peace again.  I have seen the consequences of my sins.  But I also know that as a child of God, daughter of the Most High, I’m forgiven when I repented of what I have done.  It was not easy to pull away from those ways either, I was pulled back to the edge of the pool many times to wad in the waters before pulling myself out again.

I’ve lost much that I believe came as a direct result.  While I was not wealthy by any stretch, I did have a pretty nice life with a good husband, a home, pool, hot tub, nice cars etc.  But sin broke down the foundation of the marriage, both mine and his sins, and over time I took things even further.  While I had his blessing to go down that road, and even his support, it was wrong.  I knew it and yet I went there willingly.  It was even my own idea.  Perhaps that is why I am now without  those things I held dear to me.  In this lifetime I will likely never have that answer.  But I do know that as  I have examined my life up until now, I know what I must do and where I must turn.

I have my issues with where I had been in a church family.  But sound  doctrine is more important than feel good music and gospels, or being liked for that matter.   Watering down the Word of God may win over ‘friends’, but it won’t convict the sinner to repent.  So that is why I will go where I once was, I need solid teaching as I progress through this walk and yield to God’s will for me.

A Prayer of Repentance

To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.

51 Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me.
4 Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight—
That You may be found just when You speak,[a]
And blameless when You judge.

5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
6 Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me hear joy and gladness,
That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
9 Hide Your face from my sins,
And blot out all my iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.

14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
The God of my salvation,
And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
And my mouth shall show forth Your praise.
16 For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;
You do not delight in burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart—
These, O God, You will not despise.

18 Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion;
Build the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then You shall be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,
With burnt offering and whole burnt offering;
Then they shall offer bulls on Your altar.

If You Weren’t Looking Yourself You Wouldn’t Know!

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Growing up as one of 4 kids I learned a lot of good information from encounters with my siblings and mom playing referee.  Even when we were not getting into it with each other, mom always had wisdom she shared with us as we went through life thinking we were invincible.

One of my favorite sayings of my mother came usually during long trips in the car on vacation, or when we were all in various places of time out throughout the house because of some squabble that drove her to her breaking point.  Every parent that has 2 or more offspring has said it at some point, or will one day.  It starts with one child poking at another:

Child A: “MOM!!!! He touched me!”

Mom to Child B:  ”Stop touching your sister.”

Child B: “MOM!!! She touched me!!”

Mom to Child A:  ”Stop touching your brother.”

Child A:  ”MOM!!!! He touched me again!”

Mom to Child B: “I mean it, stop touching your sister.”

Child B: “MOM!!!!! She touched me!”

Mom to Child A & B: “If I have to say it again I’m going  to be touching both of you with a paddle, now stop it!”

*crickets*

Child A: “MOM!!!!! He’s looking at me!”

Child B: “She was looking at me first!”

Mom to Child B: “You wouldn’t know she was looking at you if you weren’t looking at her! Stop looking at her and you won’t know she is looking at you.”

Sound familiar?  It rarely ended there but you get the idea.  You would never have known your sister was looking at you if you had not bothered to look at her.

The same holds true in today’s world of social media.  And despite growing up, getting older, maturity doesn’t come with age.  Some people just have to poke and poke and poke again.  They cannot walk past a puddle without grabbing a stick and stirring it.  And we’re ALL guilty of this at one time or another.  I have a former family member that I have, on occasion, enjoyed stirring that puddle.  Sometimes I just cannot help myself.  A former friend too, we both enjoy poking at each other.  But sometimes those pokes can become direct attacks, and grow into Fatal Attraction style behavior, the stuff of bunny boilers.

I’m kind of an ‘out there’ person.  I have this blog, my spiritual journey blog, and one for my direct sales business.  In the past I posted blogs on the MySpace account I had.  I love writing.  I’m a social media addict using Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare, GetGlue and others.  I have never been one of those people that was all private about their life and I certainly don’t fear the boogie man.  I rather openly share my thoughts and opinions over the Internet.  Heck I’ve even done some nude photos over the years, professional, tasteful ones, that were on a website.  Because of this very open way of life there is no aspiration of running for a political office.  Though if I did I’d just stick it all there myself before the haters could do it for me.  I don’t take the haters seriously when they have left unkind remarks, their opinions are not relevant to me whatsoever.

In the past year I’ve had to deal with being cyber stirred by several individuals.  It goes with being so open.  Most are pretty harmless, if you ignore them, they move on to someone else.  Reality, those aren’t truly stalkers, just shit stirrers.  But I’ve dealt with one individual that I am starting to question their need for mental help.  It began when I posted a video on Youtube at Christmas time, and got up one day to a really snide remark about someone in the video.  I was able to backtrack through the ID and some Google searches and discovered who it was and after asking the person targeted by the remark learned there was a love triangle issue going on there.  Said target moved on to better things, leaving the triangle.  But the commenting person could not.  They kept up a constant flow of comments on things, texts to the target, voice mails, even having friends text and leave voice mails.  Oh and they tweeted nasty things.  And yes, the target and I  launched a few return remarks.  I can be less than kind when provoked.  I know, you are shocked!

After a while it just got old, and my advice to the target was that of my mother’s, don’t look and you won’t know if you are being talked about.  For the most part this worked, though the harassing party would go through spurts and send texts or have someone else do it, and a few other things.  Thankfully the target continued to ignore the attacks and they’d fade away again.  But what do you do when they start leaving comments on your public spaces, commenting ‘at’ you on Twitter, or leaving very unkind comments on your pinboards on Pinterest?  I am of the opinion that when you are cruising life’s highway, enjoying your life and minding your own business and someone starts this sort of behavior, again, that they are stalkers.  Cyber bullies.  They need help only a professional can provide.

When someone has to go in search of you to find you and start following you, means they are not only “looking” at you but they are obsessed.  They are stalking you.  To seek you out, watch  what you pin or post, only to comment on it takes effort on their part.  They don’t just log in one day and accidentally start to follow and comment on someone’s Twitter account or Pinterest boards.  That is purposeful, deliberate and frankly does indeed make one a stalker.

The target in this case took my advice sometime back and saved everything. Every text, every email notification of a comment left (those are nice as they usually include the comment itself so you have it as evidence even once the stalker removes the comment), screen shots of the actual comments or posts whenever possible, email notifications that the stalker is now following on Twitter, or requested to be a ‘friend’ on Facebook.  Keeping these items is very important for documenting the stalker’s behavior and proving that there is indeed a case to be made should you need to file charges.  Most people are unaware there is such a thing as electronic harassment, cyber stalking etc.  It can land someone in jail.

If you think you are the victim of a stalker, document it! Keep screen shots, texts, IM’s, friend requests.  Never delete anything that might help establish a pattern that can later be used.

In my case, I know from 28 years in Corporate America that employers are getting more and more picky about what their employees do outside of the office.  They are asking to see Facebook pages, following their employees Twitter accounts etc., looking for anything that would reflect badly on not only the person they employee but the company as well.  I know of a number of folks who have been passed over for jobs, and even been fired for “behavior unbecoming”.  And I cannot imagine too many employers willing to hire someone who is proven to be a cyber stalker.  So, CYA folks – cover your ass.  Keep documentation if you think you are being targeted, and then don’t be afraid if need be to file charges.  Sometimes, it is the only thing that works.

If it isn’t truly stalking, just keep in mind, unless the stuff is being posted on your ‘spaces’, if you don’t look, you won’t know what they think or are saying about you, and it won’t matter. They only make themselves look bad.