Ah Sunday! Time to pull up a virtual bar stool over at the Tiki Hut, hosted by the Cinful one herself, Cinful Cinnamon. Anyone is welcome to link up, it doesn’t get any easier when it comes to rules on a meme/blog hop.
Good place to be today, really not up for anything too deep or heavy, just something light and breezy.
So come on over and link up!
I am pushing to make my sales goals for campaign 16 so everyone that helps me, I’m helping YOU!
Make a purchase in My Avon Store by clicking ‘shop eBrochure’ on the right hand side of my store site, and when you purchase your order, at the checkout you will receive an additional 15% off the prices listed in the Campaign 16 brochure. Yes, 15%!!!
Say good-bye to July by saving BIG, until midnight 8/1/2011!!!!
Just click the photo below to shop My Avon Store!
I have had serious writer’s block the past few days. So, I decided to publish my 100 random facts I had been adding to periodically in a draft format, waiting for a day like this. Before you all think I fell off the face of the earth (I’m falling alright but not there), figured I should post something!
I am SO excited about some fun stuff for the girls today!
First, my buddy, Cinnamon, agreed to do a personal evaluation of a new product from Avon and then write up a review. I just knew she’d love this new mascara, she has beautiful eyes and the new mascara made her lashes look amazing! Check out her blog today, I’ve Got My Eyes On Avon and her before and after photos. (Thanks to her hubby for his camera assistance!)
Cinnamon is offering a special little gift to anyone that orders $10 or more from my Avon store, some darling little wine glass charms! She hand makes these, you’ll want some, they are just adorable.
In addition to that gift, IF you order before midnight, Tuesday, 7/26/2011, ANY size order SHIPS COMPLETELY FREE!!!! Just enter the code: FRIENDS2011 at checkout!!
I want to point out a few awesome deals….
This fabulous swag bag is only $19.99, comes with the 5 products shown (a $72 value), when you purchase $10 in beauty products from pages 4-99 and 156-178. Guess what?! On those pages you will find some outstanding buy one get one free deals on everything from lipstick to mascara!!!! Check it out in my personal Avon store and get this gorgeous bag!
Don’t forget my give away! Entries for it close at midnight, Sunday, 7/31/2011. Avon’s new, Clinical Eye Lift Pro! It’s a $30 value and I’m giving one away free! See my Vanity Crack Blog Page for details!!!
First, I must take a moment to thank someone. He is military, in the reserves, and partially responsible for my current happiness. We’ll call him GI James. See, I met him one evening recently for dinner. At no point through the night did he say anything but positive stuff. He was so sure we fit together, talked about getting off the sites and onto the road together. Which while it was nice, threw red flags up all over for me. Then suddenly, once he was home, his tune changed. He decided I don’t look like my photos on the dating sites, that they were deceptive because they weren’t all taken in the past month. I had never had a single man tell me that! In fact, every single one that met me thought I was dead on my photos, and I had more than a few that wanted to run off and get married, I was their ‘dream girl’. I took the step of posting the link to one of my vlogs on my dating profiles so that anyone that had any doubt could see me and hear me on a video, to remove any thought that I am not wh0 my pictures say.
This all just rocked my foundation. Especially when the Superhero told me that I am far better looking in person, and that was echoed over and over again from many men I have dated since getting on the sites. But it only takes one person to crack your self confidence. It was almost enough to keep me from going out with the man I will refer to as Count Dracula.
I agreed to meet up with The Count but was nervous as hell! We’d been texting and talking and there was serious chemistry there, but in the back of my mind that one negative experience from GI James was eating at me. I always strive to be honest, and I felt my integrity was on the line here. I’m not using my airbrushed photos, the studio stuff on the dating sites, I wanted to keep it real. I even went back to a few of the guys that I had dated and remained friends with, asking them to please, be honest about things. They all said I really look like my pics, and that GI James was a moron that was likely too intimidated once he met me and saw I was real and a very strong woman personality wise. I searched for more recent photos (I hate having my picture taken so it wasn’t easy) and put those up, blocking faces of those in the pictures with me. But there was no need to be worried at all…..
I call him Count Dracula, or the Count, because he loves Halloween. Seriously gets into it, and in my mind, while looking in his eyes, I could see him all decked out in the white shirt and cape, against that dark skin and hair. His eyes carry playful mischief and they pulled me in, I couldn’t easily look away. It was interesting to me that he looked inside me, to my soul, but didn’t push against the barriers I have up to protect myself. He is only the second man to ever tell me my eyes change color with my emotions. He noted that at times when I was very passionate about something, or blushing, that they go from gray to deep, dark blue. Oh, and he remembered something I had said I like, and brought me one. 
My personal space and my gut instincts are two very important things to me. I have never been a fan of strangers touching me, and face it, even if you have been texting and talking for weeks, you are still strangers. Many of my dates likely picked up on this when they would try to put a hand on mine and I stiffened. It is just a natural, protective reaction I have no control over. With every date I also noted that I lacked that spark I was looking for, the one that was just there with the 3 men that I have truly loved in my life.
When at one point The Count took my hand across the table, my reaction caught me off guard…there was no resistance, no barrier of protection thrown up that would have caused me to stiffen. It felt very natural to have my hand in his. Then, he did something unexpected when he left the table for a moment, he leaned over and kissed me. Again, when others would have felt me shut down, the exact opposite happened and my protective instincts shut down. Everything just felt SO right, so open and easy. That spark was there, with intensity. We shared our dreams but it wasn’t an “I want, I will”, more like “when we, we will”. The last time I felt anything close to this was when I met the former prince, and I ended up married to him! This man unknowingly holds one of those magic keys that unlocks the gate of secret garden.
We’re setting records for texts, been through about 200 questions and answers as they come to mind, and we feel like teenagers!
My head is spinning, my heart is wide open, the drawbridge has been lowered. The Count has one of those keys that have been referenced…I’ve opened up the gate to my secret garden and invited The Count to come inside and sit with me on the bench to see if he is truly happy and comfortable here….and I don’t mind admitting it is all just a bit scary. But yet rather amazing and exciting.
The Marvelous Secret Garden Part 1
“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” ~Peace Pilgrim
For a long time I let others opinions of me determine my own thoughts about myself. I had the worst self-esteem when I was growing up, I was a misfit in grade school, serious material for the Island Of Misfit Toys in Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer. In addition to being weird, I was homely to say the least, seriously so. The former prince would tell you that too, I am not making this stuff up. I was the oddball, always had to be different but that was just me, I hear a different drummer and while it was miserable to do so at times, I had to be true to myself, I couldn’t help but follow my own beat.
My self-esteem started to improve as I grew up and became comfortable with myself, and in time I did see that I wasn’t homely anymore, and I also learned to not really care what others think of me. I accept that I am an attractive woman, but I don’t let it go to my head. After all, outer beauty is fine, but truly enhanced by inner beauty. The outer will fade, the inner should continue to blossom and shine brighter over time. It was that inner beauty that I started to focus on, finding out who I was, growing ME, that is what makes me who I am today. If I were disfigured in a car accident tomorrow, I’m still a beautiful person because of who I AM, not because of the vessel I’ve been assigned in which to travel this life.
We believe our own self talk, we will live up to, or beneath, the standard we set for ourselves. 
I found that if I focused on negative thoughts about myself, I started to believe that. But when I focus on the positive things about myself and reinforce those with good thoughts about me, I start to rise to that standard. It doesn’t mean that sometimes someone cannot knock my pedestal out from under me, like when the prince focused on the negatives about me. Sure, I have faults (don’t we all?), but it doesn’t mean I have to let those dominate my thought life and control who I become. I just put that pedestal back up right and climb back up on it, fostering and nurturing the good in me, focusing on my positive traits so that those once again surface and remain the constant.
Thoughts are also very powerful in how we see our life. If we are a glass half full type, optimistic, then we will lock in on the positives in our lives and tend to be happier over all. My glass of life is 95% full, I cannot accept seeing it any other way. I can find the good in any situation. I don’t have the greatest paying job right now, as far as money, but I have the BEST job ever! Watching little ones, singing and dancing with them, working from home so I can do so many things around the house, including write, makes this an awesome job!
Same with relationships with others, how I ‘think’ of a person will impact how I treat them and what value is placed on the individual. Love isn’t always a warm fuzzy feeling, sometimes it is a choice. When I got married it was a warm and fuzzy feeling, I cried after making love my wedding night, I was SO happy. But those vows kick in in no time and it is the sticking to the promises made that determine the strength of those words. There were many days throughout the 22 years that my former prince was anything but lovable, but I made a mental choice to stick to my word and that is what kept me there and faithful to him. In my mind he was my hero, and the more I told myself that, the more my heart followed the lead of my thoughts. I knew so many women that, when with the girls, tore their men down. “He doesn’t…he isn’t…he won’t…” and so on. First of all that is just flat out disrespectful! I have zero respect for someone that will trash their significant other to the guys at the office or the girls in their bridge club. That is just wrong! I didn’t trash my man, I always followed the Thumper Rule (from Bambi – if you don’t have something nice to say it isn’t necessary to say anything at all). Was the prince perfect? FAR from it! But he has some amazing positive traits and I would talk about those. I was the envy of every woman around me because they thought he walked on water, I had his back and respected him to others. And I really loved him with all my heart. I accepted his good and bad, the prince and the pauper. And when I marry again, it will be the same way. How else could someone still have butterflies in their stomach when their husband got home, after 22 years of marriage? He was the center of my world, my fantasies, everything in one wonderful package. So why are we divorced? Well, he didn’t control his thoughts and self talk the same way. He chose to nurture the negatives and in time his heart grew cold and hard toward me. The power of his thoughts drove a stake into the heart of our marriage.
Choosing to think positive thoughts doesn’t mean that we are seeing things through rose colored glasses, we know that everything is not peaches and cream. But our thoughts are very powerful influences in how we see things, how we will act and react to circumstances and relationships with others, how we FEEL about everything. I hold the power, right here in my quirky, awesome, powerful brain!
The economy isn’t getting any better.
One thing about us girls, we find a way to cut corners in the budget, but we want to look beautiful when doing it, right?
Listen up (you boys too because I have you covered with great products too)!
TODAY ONLY – Expiring at midnight tonight, Monday, July 18th, you can save an additional 10% off your order with me from my online Avon store. Orders of $10 or more ship FREE until midnight tonight as well!
Campaign 15 – it is full of outstanding sales, and you get it all at an additional 10% off but ONLY if you order online and pay today, before midnight tonight!!!
You are helping me make my sales goals, and I’m helping you save a little money! WIN/WIN!!!
Click the icon below to go directly to my store and take advantage of those great sale prices at 10% additional savings NOW!
I wondered many times how long it would take for the searing pain in my heart to not only diminish but simply be gone. That pain that began when the former prince told me he wanted a divorce, and I realized he wasn’t changing his mind. That was a pain like nothing else I have felt. It would increase when I saw things he would post on his Facebook page, snide remarks, or others would post. Everyone knew it was about me. It would also increase when I found out he was dating someone. His ‘present’, the moving forward with his life, was still my future. It took a long time for my heart to be ready to let go of him. Oh I still love him, always will, but one day my heart finally moved out of that harbor where I’d have taken him back again, that ship has sailed.
There were still times when seeing him would cause a day or two of agony, then it would pass and life would go on. Passing him on the road, or seeing him in the bay when I passed the fire house, even just seeing his van there, would bring up old feelings and hurt. I avoided passing the fire houses if it meant going far out of my way to get around the township.
Little by little the hurt decreased, and bothered me less and less. Yesterday, for the first time, I discovered it was completely gone. I was out with my daughter, taking her to lunch then running an errand. I came to an intersection, and there at the opposite stop sign was the former prince on his motorcycle, with his new girlfriend in my old spot on the back. I braced myself inwardly for the flood of misery and jealousy…and it didn’t come. Instead I waved as we passed, and he waved too (talk about a random awkward moment) and then I found myself thinking “good job, Piere, she is very pretty, and just like you like ‘em, very thin”. Only thing she isn’t, that was always was a part of his ‘dream girl’, she is a blond and not brunette. Go figure! It has been a long time since I had seen a big smile on his face, and it was good to see him smiling and happy again. He always did have a great, Tom Cruise kinda shit eating grin. I felt a very foreign feeling toward him…real, honest joy for his life.
I have spent the past evening and morning trying to figure out exactly why that old, familiar torment had vanished and was replaced with good feelings for him. 
Is it because I have found someone special that thinks the world of me? Someone I’m having those “if we, I need, I want” conversations with as we look toward a possible future together? Is it the power of forgiveness for perceived wrongs and prayers for rather than against him? Or is it that my heart has finally healed and scarred over. Maybe it is all of that…
…whatever it is, I’ve finally arrived on the other side of the rainbow!
Check it out, I’m giving away one full size jar of this amazing product!
It is a $30 value!
Just go to my Avon Blog page, The Lipstick Diva’s Vanity Crack to enter to win!!!
First, one using Twitter has to understand what it is: Micro Blogging. You only have 140 characters to use to convey your message. This has resulted in many coming up with creative ways to abbreviate words. For example your becomes UR, are becomes R, two or to or even too becomes 2 and so on. Many IM abbreviations such as LOL, ROFLMAO, TTYL, TTFN, IMO have also made their way into tweets. Creativity reigns when the message is longer than 140 characters.
I found Twitter a number of years ago, and slowly dragged many in my family kicking and screaming convinced my family to try it. My son has one but never uses it, my daughter refuses to come to the dark side, but my brothers, sister, parents and many of the nieces and nephews use it now. Many in the blogging community use Twitter to alert their followers of a new blog post. News organizations give short headlines with links to breaking news and weather. Many businesses like Papa John’s Pizza have tweeted coupons/specials only made known to their Twitter followers.
Blogging, be definition is an online diary or journal. For some it is a form of a notebook. How public they wish to make it is up to the author. Some are wide open, others password protected. Many blog under a pen name for anonymity while others put their real name to their work. Bloggers are as varied as people, everyone from mommy bloggers who write about their kids and parenting, to politicians and celebrities. They put out there whatever it is they wish to share with their readers.
Twitter is micro blogging – sharing whatever the owner of that ID wishes to share with their followers.
Like with any author, we often share pieces of someone elses writings when we find it of interest. Either within our blogs or on Twitter, or in books etc.
This is how I use Twitter:
I follow 148 others on Twitter at the moment, that is subject to change up or down on any given day but rarely goes up. Everything from inspirational quotes to other bloggers to news stations that put out headlines and family members.
I currently have 404 people following me on Twitter, and that number rises and falls from day to day but not by many. I have no idea why they all follow me but they do.
You can chose to make your Twitter ID private so only your approved followers can see what you tweet (publish). Or, like me, you can leave your Twitter wide open so anyone can view it and follow you. There are family members that I follow that keep their ID locked down so only those they chose to have in the family can see what they tweet. That is fine for them. I keep mine open, it is what I chose to do.
Recently it came up from one of my followers that they didn’t care for all the retweets of other Tweeters tweets. I assume of course that was directed to me, as I do retweet a good number of things I find interesting or amusing. They felt that if they cared what someone else was tweeting they’d be following that person too. Another member backed that up and said they don’t let others in ‘our network’. See, who you let follow you and you follow is YOUR network. I have my own larger circle that follows me and I follow, yours happens to over lap a few of mine but not many.
I share what I wish, because this is MY Twitter ID and I put out there what I WANT to share. If you find that too much, don’t follow me. Just like with Chad Ocho Cinco, I follow him on and off throughout the year. At times he tweets so much that I just stop following him for a while, then other times I am highly amused by what he puts out. But I am not going to tailor my tweets to what my followers think I should be sending out. 404 people on my follower list all have a different reason for why they follow me. If you don’t care for what I send out, then don’t follow me.
For family and close friends I now have a new Twitter ID so that they can follow me without all the retweets. Hopefully now everyone is happy.
Another work week drew to a close, and this week ends today. Well the daycare side is wrapped up for the week, the Avon side will continue, that is pretty much daily.
After dinner yesterday my sister and I went out and distributed 350 Avon brochures. When we got home we were flat out exhausted. But it felt good to have those all distributed and into the hands of potential customers. I also added another recruit to my down line yesterday. Building this business up is going to take time but I am loving it.
* * * We interrupt this post for a moment of shameless, self promotion * * *
OH and if you are at all interested in seeing the latest brochures and maybe ordering, check out my Avon online store. This weekend orders that are $10 or more (usually minimum is $30) ship FREE! Just use the code: SUMMER2011 and have it ship directly to you. You order and pay for it all online and designate you want it shipped to you and you will have it in a few days! AND you will help me meet my sales goals for this campaign! So please don’t hesitate, go to My Online Avon Store, click ‘eBrochure’ on the right hand side and shop till you drop! Go on, have a peek!
* * * We now return you to the post in progress * * *
There are some dynamite sales in this brochure!!!
HELP ME MEET MY SALES GOALS THIS CAMPAIGN and take advantage of the shipping special for FREE for orders of $10 or more, this weekend ONLY!!!
Copy and paste the questions to your blog, answer them, then link up to Five Crooked Halos blog hop by clicking the icon above!
1. If you knew your best friend’s spouse was cheating on her or him, would you tell her (him)?
Yes, I think I would, well actually I’d force the spouse to do it. I’d gather the evidence in case the cheater tried to deny it. Then I’d make sure they either told their spouse or I would. I think. This is such a difficult thing to know about and get involved in. It has happened to people I know and dearly love, and I not only knew it, I chose to keep quiet. I can never condone cheating, but I also understood why it was happening, that needs far more than just the physical were not being met. I watched someone get beat down inside and now that the marriage is over, the true colors of that spouse are shining through. They are dark, unkind, mean and bitter, completely hateful. Oh I know they are in some ways responding to the circumstances, but then both parties are responsible for the break down over time, and this spouse being cheated on, yeah those true colors were there and not at all attractive. I fully take 50% of the responsibility for the time I found the former prince looking on Adult Friend Finder for booty calls, that nearly wrecked the marriage then. And I am half responsible for the fact that the marriage finally ended.
Would I have wanted someone to tell me? Yep. And 90% of the time, I will rat you out if I catch you cheating on your spouse and he or she is my friend.
2. Soda in a can or a bottle?
In this part of the country, it is called POP. Okay and can is preferred over a bottle, but ultimately I want fountain style. I think that is when it tastes the best and is the most refreshing.
3. What do you wash first, hair or body?
My face is first, then hair, then body. I am very OCD about this. Face first so if any of the facial cleanser gets in my hair it will be washed away. Hair next because it is the top, and the water, soap and dirt runs DOWN. Then the body last. I even wash from the top to the toes in that order. I cannot deviate from that or it throws my entire day off. I’m a freak, I know. It’s okay.
4. What advice would you give to any new mama?
Baby comes first, then your spouse, then the rest of your cleaning, etc. Take care of the baby, that bonding time is precious. And when baby sleeps, you sleep so you stay well rested. Patience is required when they are little and sleep deprivation is only going to make it harder to care for that little angel. Do not neglect your spouse and their needs because the baby is here, put aside everything else and focus on them. No one will come in and steal your dirty clothes or dishes (though if only there were fairies to come in and wash them!). At the end of the day if it didn’t get accomplished then it really wasn’t that important. In the big picture, 5 years down the road when that little boy or girl goes off to school, they won’t remember that you didn’t always have the house completely cleaned up. Not saying let it all go to complete mess, but spic and span isn’t necessary either.
5. What is your best hangover remedy?
Sadly, being 48, I have some extensive research into this area. The best remedy is don’t get drunk. Oh the times I’d lay there in agony thinking “never again”. However, on those occasions when too much alcohol the night before results in the potential for a bad morning, one thing I have found helps is before going to bed, load up on some junk carbs. Around these parts hitting Skyline for coneys or White Castle for some sliders helps a bunch. And water! In fact, when I did drink too much, the former prince would put me to bed with a 16 ounce bottle of water that had a table spoon of sugar mixed in and 2 aspirin. 90% of the time I woke up feeling great. If you fail to use preventative maintenance techniques the night before, my son swears by loading up on the junkie carbs the next morning. Like a nice pizza or something. Assuming you can get it to stay down.
Again, best remedy is NOT to need one!
No that is not a typo in the title, I’m not talking about my soul. I am referring to my soles, those that are on my feet.
I will be the first to admit that I love shoes. Being a girl of course I have a shoe fetish, though mine isn’t all-consuming like some women. I can zero in and nail the cutest pair of shoes in the mall, right in my cross hairs and absolutely LOVE them.
Adorable lace bootie heels are my current favorites. Avon has a kick ass pair coming out in campaign 18 (I love being a rep and seeing stuff in advance) that I WILL own. They are peep-toe with a gold tone zipper up the back! Heels are so feminine and I very much enjoy being decked out in girly stuff sometimes.
Another type of shoe I dearly love, a really GOOD pair of running shoes. You cannot beat the support found in these, and if they are fitted correctly I could walk around in them all day. At the end of the day I find less back pain from being in well-fitting athletic style shoes.
Slippers of course are a must have, especially in winter for walking around the house. If they have a rubber sole I will sashay on out to the mailbox in them. They have to be fuzzy or furry inside, and super comfy.
Flip flops, can a girl ever have enough of these? Nope, not hardly! Quick shoes for when it is very hot and you have to run to the gas station, grocery store, or across the very hot concrete driveway, no shoe collection is complete without them.
I once had a very knowledgeable man tell me that he could tell if a woman was high or low maintenance by the number of pairs of shoes she owned. I am happy to share that I am considered low maintenance, I own less than 15 pairs of shoes. In fact currently it is under 10. No doubt he is correct, as I know plenty of chicks and the more shoes they own, the more maintenance required to make her happy!
However, my very favorite pair of shoes in the WHOLE world?? NONE! I love shoes, but I detest wearing them. In church my shoes are under the pew in front of me. If I am out to eat with a date, one I am comfy with and enjoying myself, I relax, kick my shoes off and sit cross legged/Indian style on the booth seat. In my favorite pair of shoes I am usually rocking out polish on my toes, and now that it is summer I try hard to keep the feet in good shape with lots of TLC and great foot lotions. The best lotion being peppermint, it feels so good and refreshing. When home I am either barefoot or running around in little footie style socks. I go through a few dozen pair of those a year because of the lack of shoes most of the time.
I think the lack of shoes on my feet, running about bare footed, is a part of my personality. To the dismay of the various men in my life, I am a very open book. The former prince turned ex husband, my police officer son, a couple of boyfriends and the current White Knight, my personal security is of great concern because they feel, like my feet, I am entirely too bare and open for view. Like my feet, I prefer to be free and without restrictions. And like my tooties, there is risk when one is so exposed. But it is who I am, simple, carefree and unrestrained.
I’m taking part in Cinful Cinnamon’s Monday Me Hop, and chose this question to respond to today:
I tend to see existing as dreaming but never doing anything to make our dreams come true. Staying in a safe, comfortable zone or place so we don’t lose anything, hurt, or suffer.
Living requires taking chances, DOING something, taking the vision from our head and heart and turning it into a reality.
Existing – walking past the bakery, smelling those wonderful pastries and wishing you had one.
Living – going in and actually buying a pastry and slowly savoring every mouthful!
Existing – wishing you were 20 pounds lighter while lamenting that your favorite jeans no longer fit.
Living – getting up off your butt and going for a walk every single day, making those 20 pounds vanish.
Existing – wishing you had more money to do more things.
Living – Finding a way to make it happen, through a second or a better job.
Existing – wishing for your relationship to be the love of your life.
Living – deciding it IS the love of your life and making it such.
Existing – watching the roller coaster of life safely from the sidelines with your heart locked down so you aren’t hurt, never taking chances on anything that might not work.
Living – buying your ticket and getting on the roller coaster and feeling all the ups and downs that make it exciting!
We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk it the tables being turned
We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always come with getting burned
But you got to be tough when consumed by desire
‘Cause it’s not enough just to stand outside the fire
We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall
We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all
They’re so hell bent on giving, walking a wire
Convinced it’s not living if you stand outside the fire
Chorus:
Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried it is merely survived
If you’re standing outside the fire
There’s this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can’t abide standing outside the fire
Repeat Chorus(twice)
~ Garth Brooks ~
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I’ve noticed something on the dating sites that I’ve also seen in society in general: We all tend to hang our self esteem on other people’s hangers. This is obvious by the reactions to being rejected. I wrote a blog about this last year, when I decided to remove MY self esteem from the hangers of others opinions of me.
I know that I am a good hearted woman, I am attractive, and I’m a great catch for the right man. Key word being RIGHT. Not every man is right for me, in fact most will not be, and that is okay. I will find the one that I don’t want to live without and make him the happiest guy around. He will be blessed and thank God every day that my ex divorced me so that I could be found by him, the one that will treasure me. Goodness knows plenty of men I have dated have told me to thank him for setting me free just so they had a chance at knowing me even though it ended up just a friendship. Yes, I AM that special! Guess what? SO ARE YOU! To many someones in this world you are that precious too, you just have to find the one that wants to keep you and you want to keep them. It took me a while to accept that single best thing my ex did for me, since he didn’t cherish and treasure me, was to let me go so someone else COULD. And then I removed my self esteem from his hanger, put it on MINE and learned what a great person this marvelous woman really is!
We all tend to let it bother us when someone finds fault in us, be it that we don’t clean correctly, dress the way they think we should, talk too loud, talk too much, aren’t as pretty or fit or whatever someone else has in their mind for what we should be. Or, what they think their ideal match is, as is the case on dating sites.
On a dating site, we fill out our dating profiles and then hope to catch the attention of someone that meets our criteria. Some people, like myself, put serious time and effort into the written portions of their profiles. We take the quizzes, psychology tests of some kind, that determine things about our personalities and preferences to assist in finding the perfect match. We chose photos of ourselves in various situations to help portray who we are to potential mates and then hope for the best. There are those that for whatever reason think putting down one word or one line answers is going to just impress the snot out of others, oh and 1 fuzzy photo of themselves from 50 feet away, astride their Harley (at least it LOOKS like it might be one from that blurred image) and then 5 photos of their dogs or sunsets, which don’t happen to be blurry, go figure.
The sites have standard questions about smoking and your preference, drinking of alcohol, height, marital/relationship status for you and your preferred match. It is amazing, I swear some of the sites asked me for what brand of toilet paper I purchase, or it seemed that way. So, anyway, if I am looking over profiles of potentials, I can see right away if they are someone I want to meet. Their photos, what they write, what their physical characteristics are etc, all give me clues to them.
As I stated the other day, I can and DO glean a lot from a person’s profile. It is the ‘first impression’ and believe me it DOES make a difference. A haphazard profile is a good indication that someone is careless and doesn’t take care of themselves, so I know they aren’t going to make me a priority. Or it may be a very well written profile, but just not be someone of interest to me because we don’t share common interests. It is always perplexing when someone writes and says “I see we have a lot in common…” and I go look and find they are into sky diving, hang gliding, NASCAR…nothing at ALL in common. My guess then is they saw my pics and thought I was attractive so they’d give it a shot. I know what it is I’m looking for, and when I find it, I will know. I knew immediately when I met the ex Prince, before he opened his mouth or I even knew his name, I said to my mom “I am going to marry that one”. Sure enough I did. Trust me, I can tell enough from what I read and see on a profile, if there is any interest. A few emails between us and my first impression is confirmed if there were any doubts.
So where am I headed with this? I am growing tired of men contacting me, and when I tell them “I’m sorry but I am just not interested, but good luck in your search” I am called names and they begin personal attacks. Mr. Confident isn’t the first or last (he just stood out). Last night a guy from Louisville, Kentucky contacted me. He is like 2 hours away. When I said “I’m sorry, but as I state in my profile, I am not interested in a long distance relationship, I cannot relocate and unless you are able too, should we hit it off, it just won’t work out” he in turn wrote back and called me an asshole! Wow, really? I didn’t bother to go into the fact that nothing about his profile or photos was even remotely appealing to me, I was kind and polite. Another potential that contacted me said “I knew I wasn’t in your league and you’d think you were too good for me” (I get that ‘outta my league’ stuff entirely too much). I don’t think I am too good for you, YOU JUST DO NOT INTEREST ME!!!!
What I see here is a bunch of men that get their hopes up that some attractive female might want to date them, and then their ego gets bruised if she says no. No one is out of anyone’s league. Period. But no one wants to go out with someone they are not interested in. Just because you have an interest in me doesn’t mean I share that interest. If it isn’t mutual, why waste our time? Sure, I realize that by some slim, snowball’s chance in hell we might hit it off, but I might get struck by lightening or win the lottery too…twice. The man I seek is hot and handsome on the INSIDE and it shows through his profile in not only his photos, but in his smile, what he writes about himself, his attitude that comes through in those writings. None of us are going to be knock outs when we are old and wrinkled up like a fuzzy, mold covered prune, but our inner self will still be beautiful, and that is what I am looking for most, that inner man that will rock my world.
Stop hanging your self esteem on my hanger. If going out with me is what you need to feel good about you, buddy you are in a world of hurt!
WHAT IS THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD?
The one you are doing that you LOVE to do!
Nothing is worse than getting up in the morning and going to a job you don’t like. It eats at you and will impact your over all job performance. I have been there and it is really hard. Your stress level gets on the ceiling easily, you are miserable, you don’t sleep or eat right, just not good. It doesn’t matter if it pays outstanding money, if you are not happy that money isn’t going to make it more tolerable.
When you love what you do, it doesn’t matter how much or little it pays, you LIKE getting up and going to work. Certainly, even in a job we love, there are days we just want to pull the pillow over our head and go back to sleep. Maybe a big project is due, or maybe we just didn’t get enough rest. Either way, if over all we enjoy our work it is easier to excel.
I am there right now, I love what I do. Kids are a blast and watching them has been the best employment option I have ever chosen. It is not great money, but it is GOOD money and at the end of the day I am tired but feel good about my day. I love working for myself, it is a whole different world now. Between the kids and working sales for Avon, I am far happier and less stressed, way more relaxed, than I have ever been at any job.
The best job in the world is the one you WANT to be doing!
I am sitting on my deck, at 5am, tweeting and Facebooking by the light of my phone and Febreeze luminaries. Our power is out.
Our electric lines in the neighborhood are under ground, so we woke up puzzled that our entire neighborhood is pitch black at a bit after 3am. No fan, air conditioning, nothing but silence.
We spotted the flashing lights at the corner and the fire truck turned around on our street a while later, prompting my sister, niece and me to wander down in our jammies to find out what is up.
A transformer blew on a pole, down the road where it isn’t under ground…and the whole damn pole went down! So they are replacing the pole and transformer. Lord only knows how long this will take but with temps later today expected in the 90′s, any time is too long.
I am very thankful we have a Bunn home coffee maker, we had one pot of coffee thanks to the reserve tank.
I think this qualifies as an emergency…no power equals no coffee! Thankfully I can blog from my phone.
“Go ahead..let people label you. It just shows they wanna put you in a box because they’re so afraid of what you can do” ~ The Single Woman
~*~
Online dating, if nothing else, is highly entertaining at times. Just reading profiles is good for laughs. Despite what some folks think, one can glean a good deal about someone by their own words in their profile.
One thing a well written profile does is gives me a good clue if someone will be compatible with me. First starting with their physical stats, like height, weight, location, and for me even their astrological sign. You recall, from earlier posts, fire fighters and those born under the sign of Aquarius, Scorpio or Leo, are just not good matches for me. Fire fighter Aquarians are simply a disaster trying to occur.
In the essay sections of a profile, where a person has the opportunity to tell me about themselves, it can either be a deal breaker before we ever get to ‘hello’ or it can spark the desire for an introduction. I forgive a random typo, but I’m picky, too many of them and it becomes obvious that the writer just doesn’t put any time or thought into themselves or they’d be trying harder to put forth something of quality. Also, things a person likes to do in their spare time, or for fun, helps me to know if there is a chance at chemistry.
For example, I was contacted by a gentleman (and I use this term very loosely as he certainly didn’t behave like one, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself) who was interested in meeting. I looked over his profile carefully and somethings stood out to me, and yes I am going to rip this sucker apart dissect some sections to show first why he is not a good match for me.
Okay let’s do some examination of his profile:
” I enjoy any activity that can be done outdoors camping, biking, hiking, tennis, volleyball, water skiing, festivals, and traveling. I also enjoy art shows, auctions, yard sales, shopping and dining out along with good conversation. “
Okay first off, I love being outside! However camping = Holiday Inn Express. I grew up camping all over this country. I do not like to camp anymore, period.
Biking = Harley Davidson/Honda etc…fender fluff. I don’t care for peddling. It has to have a motor and rumble baby.
Water skiing – not so much. Not a huge fan of water I cannot see the bottom of so water skiing just is not appealing.
Art shows/auctions/shopping – Not much into art, auctions YAWN no thanks, and shopping? This girl HATES FLIPPING SHOPPING!
So far, as you can see, this isn’t going to be a good match. We are not on the same pages enough when it comes to activities we enjoy.
Then he posts:
My photos are current. Please don’t expect the Brad Pitts, bad boy type from me. I don’t have a beer belly, long hair, hairy back, tattoos, earrings, nose rings, belly piercing, or a motorcycle (although I might get one in the future, lol). What I do have is a big heart, self assured, confident, positive attitude, optimistic, a job and white teeth! lol
Hmm…getting the idea that he is intimidated by the bad boy/rebel types. And tattoos and a nose ring might not be up his alley, which means ME as my nose is pierced and I have some ink. Not to mention if you are someone that is so confident and self assured, you don’t tear down other ‘types’ when telling me what you are all about. Truly confident individuals don’t do that sort of thing, they don’t compare themselves to anyone or point out what they perceive as flaws in others. Bad form my man.
So reading further, this stands out to me:
Things that I believe in:
- My Dad & Mom taught me well
- You will hurt and be hurt by those you love and showing you care afterward can strengthen those relationships
- Actions expose the soul and define you and your relationships
- Most mistakes can become blessings if you learn along the way
- We’re never truly alone
- People cross paths for reasons so pay attention
- Everything happens for a reason and those who learn from those reasons gain knowledge from life’s experiences.
- It’s safe to trust your instincts because you’ll know early if someone “gets” you and you “get” them
- It’s better to laugh than to cry
- Sunrises, sunsets and rainy days were meant to be shared
- A hug can make it all better
I want you to remember the part in red there, it will be important in a bit.
And then this part stood out to me too (dude was LONG on the writing which is okay if it doesn’t all contradict itself)
I borrowed the below info from another profile. I thought it was somewhat close to me. BTW, I have blue eyes and I’m looking for a woman no matter what her eyes color maybe. I already had one shallow woman proclaim she didn’t have blue eyes so she tossed me back into the water! Come on, please have an open mind and expand our horizons when it comes to looking for a partner. There has been only one perfect “MAN” in this world so far!
BLUE EYES:
People with blue eyes last the longest in relationships. They are kind, pretty or handsome, very good kissers and are really hot. They always fall in love with their closest friends and never understand why. They are very funny, outgoing and don’t care what people think or say. They love to party. They are very satisfying and love to please. Are straight up WARRIORS when they need to be. They are bad to the bone.
Okay Mr. Confident is back to dissing people again, because someone was not interested in him she must be shallow? Oh and he just told us earlier he isn’t a bad boy type, yet he is bad to the bone?
I had immediately picked up on the fact that this guy is anything but confident. He resorted to name calling and knocking others in his profile, it screams of someone that lacks self confidence and doesn’t handle rejection very well. And not finding anything in his profile that indicated compatibility I told him I wasn’t interested. I figured if he doesn’t handle rejection well (shallow woman???) online, after a date or two when things were confirmed for me that this was NOT the future Mr. Marvi Marti, he might have a full blown melt down.
Oh and before I go any further, I need to point out that I have a photo on my profile of me in a Halloween costume I wore once. The reason? I am a curvy girl, big boobs, and some hips that gave birth 3 times. Not fat, but curves are a part of me. So since that shot gives the viewer a good indication of what they are getting, I used it. You’ll understand why I’m showing this photo in a minute, so hang on.
This morning, while laying in bed answering my emails on the dating site, there continued a little exchange with Mr. Confident (we had exchanged a few very short emails last week but I told him I was too busy to meet then):
sent 7/9/2011 7:50:42 AM
FR: Mr.Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
How’s your schedule looking for this weekend or next week?
Thanks.
sent 7/9/2011 10:01:17 AM
FR: Marti
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
At the moment just not interested.
sent 7/10/2011 7:24:49 AM
FR: Mr.Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
why not? Has something happened in your life?
sent 7/10/2011 7:29:38 AM
FR: Marti
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
I just am not interested. That simple.
sent 7/10/2011 7:35:23 AM
FR: Mr. Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Do you mean in me or find someone? I’m just trying to understand?
sent 7/10/2011 7:39:09 AM
FR: Marti
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
I am not interested in getting to know you.
sent 7/10/2011 7:42:07 AM
FR: Mr. Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Duh, how did you come to that conclusion? We have never met or spoken? But I guess you are right. I’m not attractive to shallow and narrow-minded people!
Guess that explains the reason why you can’t keep a man after 22 yrs of marriage! lmao
sent 7/10/2011 7:47:04 AM
FR: Marti
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Interesting you that you resort to childish tactics throwing insults at someone, tells me that you are thin skinned and do not handle rejection well. Instead of having some class, you behave like a 5yo little boy.
that was what I suspected, so wasn’t interested. You simply confirmed it.
sent 7/10/2011 7:47:07 AM
FR: Mr.Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
I guess that’s why you have to put pictures of your breasts hanging out in order to catch a man? you can’t do it as being yourself. Some Church person you are! lmao
sent 7/10/2011 7:49:15 AM
FR: Marti
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Have a nice day.
sent 7/10/2011 7:49:51 AM
FR: Mr. Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Why are you still bothering me? Get on your broom and fly away!
You have nothing to offer me! lmao
*note: I stopped answering at this point, evident that this guy is getting his boxers knotted up pretty easily.
sent 7/10/2011 7:51:524 AM
FR: Mr. Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Go to Church and pray that you can find a man! You are going to say a lot of prayers before you do! lol
Obviously old Rob doesn’t handle rejection very well? Funny to me is that Mr. Confident, who lists himself as Catholic, obviously had no issues with those D-size boobs when he contacted me hoping I would have interest. And as I told him, he resorts to sandbox politics when he doesn’t get what he wants. Also, remember up above a bit where he stated things he believes in? Remember this:
- Actions expose the soul and define you and your relationships
Well, Mr. Confident, your actions exposed YOUR soul and defined you and your relationships. Oh and for the record, you are divorced too, and on an online dating site, LOOKING for a woman YOU don’t have, just as I don’t have a man at the moment. So what is your point?
As I said, when I read his profile slowly, I sensed he was going to behave like this if I rejected him for any reason once we started going out, I just didn’t expect him to do it simply because I have no desire to meet him.
Good luck, Mr. Confident, you are going to need it.
ACCESS TO THE MARVELOUS ONE: DENIED
I didn’t get up and go to church today, but that is because I had something to do that I felt needed to be done.
I have not made it to church for a month and a half, but don’t assume anything simply because I am not there.
My life has been full of hills and valleys, more than you will ever know and there has been a good deal of pain and suffering that were not of my making. 
Sometimes when the cards are down or things have been difficult, I withdraw for a while, it is how I cope. Don’t assume the worst.
Just because I’m not sitting in a pew doesn’t mean I am not in the Word, or in prayer on a regular basis.
Yes, sometimes I compare my life to the lyrics of songs NOT by the Christian artists, that is because in trying to express myself at the moment, P!nk has it more on than Jason Gray. Using the lyrics to try to bring across where I am or was or what I am feeling is NOT promoting the artist, it is about the words of the song and how they spoke to ME.
You know nothing about what is in my heart.
When you have walked a mile in my shoes, then you can feel free to point out the things in my life that need work. The Lord is working on many areas, just not the ones you seem to have issues with, but trust me, He is at work and there is plenty of it to work on.
Do not judge me.
