Monthly Archives: June 2011

Life Isn’t Fair

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What’s a saying or piece of advice your parents often repeated to you when you were growing up?

I chose this topic from the 2 suggested for Monday ‘ME’ Hop at Cinful Cinnamon’s place because it’s not  only something mom used to say frequently, but I said to my own kids all the time.

When I was a child, growing up with 3 siblings, 2 brothers squeezed in between me and my baby sister, there was periodic chaos and squabbles.  Okay likely it was far more than periodic.  Without a doubt there were going to be days when someone got the red cup for the second day in a row, or got to sit in the front seat and ride shot gun next to mom, or maybe was permitted one more library book than the rest of us, had a bit more Kool-Aid in their cup or slightly more pudding for dessert.  Try as she might, mom was never going to be able to equally square things between all of us.

Sooner or later, seems like every single day, one of us was yelling “but that’s not fair!”.  Mom would turn and say to that whiner, “no where on your birth certificate does it say life is going to be fair”.  Trust me, I  looked, all over that puppy with a magnifying glass for some kind of fine print that guaran-damn-teed my life should be fair.  No such luck, it simply isn’t there.

As I have  grown up and grown older (okay the grown up is debatable), I’ve learned it is a good thing that life is not fair.  Grandma used to say if you piled everyone’s problems in a huge pile and had to chose, you’d take your own back when you saw what others were dealing with in their lives.  It might not be evident by their happy faces, seemingly happy-go-lucky road, but count on it, they carry burdens too.

My kids would roll their eyes as I repeated mom’s revelation about their birth certificates,  but now they too know it is true, and a good thing.  And some day I have no doubt they will repeat it to their own kids.  Heck, they’ve periodically fed that morsel of wisdom back to me!

The Dating Diaries ~ Site Update/Opinions

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Well it has been interesting since I joined the dating sites, seeing where all this takes me.  I do have to say, that over all I’ve had really great dates, with some super nice guys.  Sadly chemistry has to be there and that is usually fairly immediate.  Not “OMG LOVE AT FIRST SITE” kind  of chemistry, but sparks that say “I want to spend more time with you, getting to know you”, that kind of chemistry.

3 first dates have had that for me.  So of the many men I’ve met, 3 have snagged my attention to move  on to another get together.

I’ve tried out 5 different sites now, eHarmony, Match, Chemistry, Zoosk and Plenty of Fish.  You definitely can say that a paying site is best, it does weed out SOME of the riff raff.  But not all pay sites have impressed me.

eHarmony claims to have wonderful success rates, and be the best.  I beg to differ, unless I am just such an outstanding, rare jewel that there are precious few possible matches in this world.   Most of the matches they sent me, yeah no thanks, don’t think so.  Not buying into their match up system so much. Especially when many of the matches haven’t been online for weeks!

Match.com is actually pretty good, in fact I have had most of the dates so far from there.  Priced reasonable but not cheap, and there is some sort of questioning done during the set up process.  It is fairly user-friendly and if I continue to pay to belong that will likely be the one I stay with.  I do find it highly amusing the number of men I actually know outside of the sites, that are on there, that I have been matched with.  Thinking either a brick wall may  need to fall on them, or I need to give up and join the convent.

Chemistry.com is part of the Match.com family I think, it is where I saw it anyway.  So far, not really impressed at all.  Lot’s of chemistry match ups, but so far nothing has panned out from there.

Zoosk is okay too, not too bad on pricing, but it  seems to have a lot more toads than frogs.  Have met a few nice guys but have met a few kinda stalkerish types too, thankfully not in person.

Plenty of Fish, well you can use that one primarily free.  And that means a lot of weeding through profiles and tons of emails.  I feel like fish food since setting up a profile, I get more contacts than I can handle.  This little angel fish thinks she’ll have to watch out for more sharks on this site.

I am enjoying myself, however, and plan to keep looking  for my prince.  Who knows, I may have already met him in those 3, or I may a few more frogs to kiss.

My Candle Is Burning…

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As I had promised, last  night I got back in the Word.  I pulled out my bible, my trusted companion for some 26 years or so now, full of highlights, notes etc., and opened to where my book mark last rested.  I had been on a quest to read through the book of Proverbs, and decided to just pick up right there where I left off.

Proverbs 3:1-13 was the passage.  I began reading, and noticed most of this passage is highlighted already, from past reads.  Some favorite verses are here in this text.  But this time, the Lord spoke to me through the words, in ways I’ve not experienced when reading it before.

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
      And lean not on your own understanding;

Oh how I have been relying on ME, my own understanding.  Trying to figure out where I am going, what I am doing, trying to figure out life and what to do or not do.  All on my own, all without spending time in the Word and in prayer.  Not waiting on the Lord for direction and guidance but charging full steam ahead then wondering why things aren’t working out.  Dating and meeting men, hoping to find that one great guy that will share faith with me, and a life, but not asking for help in finding him.

6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
      And He shall direct[a] your paths.

When was the last time I acknowledged the Lord in my life, business, in my recreation…in anything?  Not just lip service but truly gave thanks to Him for all that I have and will have?

7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
      Fear the LORD and depart from evil.

Oh the times I make decisions, not based on what I know I should do because of my faith and beliefs, but on what I selfishly wanted.  I do not fear the Lord when I do this, nor do I turn from evil and sin.  I’m not necessarily choosing to sin, but I do make the choice to do things that I know do not honor Him, nor are fitting for the daughter of the creator of the Universe.

Those verses jumped out at me, I’ve not been where I need to be, in His Word, in prayer, in church sitting on the sheep side next to Jane.

I’m busy seeking a godly man as a mate, getting my business with Avon up and running, instead of SEEKING the Lord first and knowing He will handle the rest.

I am so glad I spent the time there last night, in the Word, going over the passage, letting it speak to me.

Proverbs 3:1-13

New King James Version (NKJV)

1My son, do not forget my law,

But let your heart keep my commands;
2 For length of days and long life
And peace they will add to you.
3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart,
4 And so find favor and high esteem
In the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct[a] your paths.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the LORD and depart from evil.
8 It will be health to your flesh,[b]
And strength[c] to your bones.
9 Honor the LORD with your possessions,
And with the firstfruits of all your increase;
10 So your barns will be filled with plenty,
And your vats will overflow with new wine.
11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
Nor detest His correction;
12 For whom the LORD loves He corrects,
Just as a father the son in whom he delights.
13 Happy is the man who finds wisdom,
And the man who gains understanding;

Footnotes:

  1. Proverbs 3:6 Or make smooth or straight
  2. Proverbs 3:8 Literally navel, figurative of the body
  3. Proverbs 3:8 Literally drink or refreshment

Echos Of The Past…

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I  hadn’t been through the door in over a year.  I wasn’t really sure how I would feel as I entered there.  Earlier in the day I dropped off some things needed for later that day, but I was in a hurry, and had a helper with me.  I really didn’t have time to think or feel…

But later, when I returned, the  circumstances were different. ..

Once upon a time it was a haven, a nest, a safe place that made me feel loved and secure.  The furnishings and atmosphere were warm and inviting, nothing fancy, but it was HOME.

But now it was different.

While I could hear the echos of the past within the walls, the present drove them back.

Nothing felt cozy and welcoming.

The furnishings are different, and while some of the occupants are the same, there are others now, the place just felt unfamiliar.

I don’t know what I expected to feel, but there was nothing friendly, inviting, or secure in what I sensed in the atmosphere.  In fact, it felt rather empty and hollow, even rather negative at times.  But mostly just empty.

There were times, around various individuals, I felt judgment and coldness despite the smiles and hugs, it was somewhat suffocating.

Other times a warm, missed, loved, and longed for…  But mostly I just felt completely out of place.

I felt very out of place…

As memories of the past crept in from time to time, I began to wonder…

did I ever really belong there….

Serial Pokers…

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There they are, every time I log in, or refresh my screen, on my Facebook page…”pokes” from various friends.

What exactly IS the purpose of a “poke”.  What is the meaning behind “poking” someone?  Careful now, you perverts, I know what THAT kind of poke is…I’ve had 3 kids, obviously I’ve been poked before.  I won’t go into detail but believe me, I’ve been poked and by some damned impressive pokers…but I will stop there before I get a call from my kids about inappropriate posts.

So, is “poking” on Facebook some kind of virtual encounter of an adult kind? Perverse “poking”??  Hmm…let us hope not, as kids are on there.  Though I suppose depending on who is doing the “poking” and who is the recipient of that “poke” it could be taken that way, might even be enjoyable or…never mind.

Is it the same type of poke as when one of your siblings would poke you in the back seat of the car?  “Mom, she’s touching me, she poked me!”, because in that case, there is nothing at all nice about those kind of “pokes” and mom doesn’t give a flying frog’s ass these days  if your brothers are “poking” you….and wow that over heard out of proper context…yeah (see, this whole “poking” thing is kinda dangerous and warped).

What about virtual bruises?  I know that if the 27 over achievers that “poked” me between the time I logged out last night and back in this morning, had actually walked up and physically poked my upper arm, there would be one  hell of a bruise there now.  It would seriously leave a mark, someone would be calling the virtual po-po and hauling people off for virtual assault and battery.

If, like me, you “poke” a lot of people, does this make you, as one of my friends, inquired, a “poke ho”?  And as she pointed out, if you receive an excessive amount of “pokes” are you a  “po poke ho”?  It should be considered, we have reputations to guard, after all.  Of  course, no one KNOWS who pokes you aside from themselves.  They may think you are their one and only “poke buddy”, that you are in a monogamous “poke” .  Is it cheating, if you are being “poked” by and “poking” others?  This could all have serious implications! We need clarification here.  Think about it, what if your spouse/significant other found out about all your private “poking”???  And what of using protection if you are a “poke” ho??? Or should you just abstain from “poking” if you cannot limit your “poke”?

Is serial “poking” (poking anyone and everyone at random) a mental disorder?  Criminal?  How do you get folks to stop “poking” you?  Can you file a virtual restraining order to avoid being “poked”???

If you refuse to “poke” back is it rude?  Has anyone contacted Ms. Manners to see what proper “poke” etiquette is so we don’t offend someone with uncultured “poking”???

“Poking” supposedly is  a way of saying “hi” to a friend.  You can “poke” some folks that aren’t on your friend list depending on their privacy settings.  A nice way to say “hey, noticed you on Facebook” and see if they poke back.  You could even maybe use it as a form of flirting.  But what if there is more to “poking” than meets the eye???

*SIDE  NOTE:  If you don’t want to be “poked” then perhaps you need to talk to Dr. Ruth Westheimer about your disfunction simply do not “poke” back or remove the “poke” and then that individual cannot “poke” you anymore.

Okay, enough, I have “poking” to do…..

Keep My Seat Warm…

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Not  to worry, my dear sisters and brothers, I’ve not gone away again.  I’ve missed a number of Sundays but I’m okay, and I’ll be back.  Don’t stop praying, I’ve been struggling, but not with my faith.  My struggle  is  with me.

I  know where I belong, and know where I should turn when my heart and mind get all confused.  I’ve had too much on my plate, but nothing of substance  from the only food that  matters, God’s Word.  Yes, there is dust  building up a  bit on my bible again, but tonight I assure you all, I will have it cleaned off, in my hand and be in it again.  In fact I am seriously considering not going tonight to my district meeting and bingo for Avon, and  spending the time in quiet time.  One way or another, I will be  back on my knees again, and in the Word, tonight.  Someone feel free to hold me accountable there.

My time management has not been what it needs to be of late.  I’ve let all sense of structure vanish from my life and that includes my time at church.  But I am hungry, and I need to be there I know.  Call me, email me, text me…I need the encouragement, need to pull myself out of my funk and be there this Sunday.

Keep my seat warm…on the sheep side, right next to Jane…I’ll be there.

Coffee & Cupcakes ~ Vanity Crack & Spice Edition

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Coffee – the life blood of this Diva. I likely drink far more than I should but I wouldn’t consider facing the day without it!

Cupcakes – small portions of something delicious, CAKE! Sugar, fat, calories…YUM!

My brain is powered by the coffee as I write and the cupcakes in this case are small servings of a variety of things on my mind. Cute, I know ;)

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

While we’re back to Defcon 5, it  was a frightening time around this place this morning…the tea bags were  gone! I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!  How the devil is one to brew a nice pot of mint iced tea when there are NO tea bags in the entire Diva Den?  Seriously this should never be  allowed to happen, ever.  Reality is we’re probably Defcon 3, as the tea bags purchased were mistakenly decaf, but we’re okay with that, at least we have the iced tea. Deep breath  in….exhale slowly…..

I love WordPress, I really do.  But when I started my  Chronicles of an Avon Lady blog, they wouldn’t let me use  links to my Avon page, as the primary purpose of that blog is to  promote business and share  my adventures.  I get that.  So it is now relocated.   Vanity crack = makeup/cosmetics.  We gals that wear the stuff and are into it, new  blush or mascara is like crack…hence Vanity Crack is  the name.  You can access it  from the Lipstick Diva  icon on my sidebar.  The one with all the lipsticks.

Mt. Washmore has been all but conquered today.  I’ve been very busy.   Kids to care  for, and laundry.  Oh and took on a side project/job working on some ad copy for a friend.  We will see how that works out.  I’m great at marketing me, my pages, my Avon…not sure how I will do with the other but sure giving it my all.

I enjoy broadening my blogging horizons, so in addition to writing about my life, thoughts, etc, I participate in several blog memes.  AKA: Hops, bounces,  link-ups.  Hosted by one or more blog pages at once, they range in themes, and it can be a fun way to find other writers to creep on.  If you are like me you enjoy finding new memes so when I find one I like, I share it on my meme/hop page.  Today I want to point you over to Cinful Cinnamon’s page.  She has a no rules or catches link-up on Sundays, The  Tiki Hut, and she has a new one she just launched, the Monday “Me” Hop.  She posts writing prompts on Monday, then you write and link up on Thursday.  Spread the  word, more spice to add to your blog week!

It would seem my sleep cycle is back sync, I’ve actually slept the past two nights.  Still need to get to bed earlier but at  least when I do go I am SLEEPING!  For this I am grateful.

I have several blogs with a bit more substance and depth to them in the works, just really needed to formulate them in my head and figure out how to approach them.  But they are coming soon.  Stay tuned.

Pass the cupcakes, please…

Marvelous Give Away 6/28/11!!!

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Contest open Tuesday, June 28th through midnight (EST) Friday, July 1st

(U.S. residents only)

I love giving away free stuff, especially because until I try the product and find it to be great, I won’t give it away or promote it.

Today’s product that I want to highlight and give to some lucky winner is Avon’s Naturals Antibacterial Hand Gel. 

Because I do in home daycare I have to wash my hands or use antibacterial gels throughout the day and this can seriously dry out the skin on hands and cause them to start cracking.  Recently, on a date, the gentleman was holding my hand and started rubbing it, commenting on incredibly soft my hands were.  He asked what lotion I used, and I honestly answered him, NONE!  He could not believe that I don’t use anything and yet my skin is so soft.

I credit Avon for this.  Their hand gel does  not strip my skin or dry it out, in fact it seems to moisturize quite well while killing the germs from wiping noses, changing diapers etc.

Usually available  in 2.5 ounce tubes, Avon introduced their antibacterial hand gel in 1 ounce mini size this past campaign.  They are purse size perfect!  Usually sold for $1.49 they are on sale for only .99 cents!!  The full size, 2.5  ounce tube is usually $4.00 but is on sale in the current campaign for $1.99.  See page 161 of the current campaign brochure (click ebrochure on the right side bar) of my Avon Online Store.

I loved this product  so much that I’m going to give away 1 full size tube of either Vanilla or Cucumber melon (winner’s choice), and 3 of the minis, one each of Vanilla, Cucumber Melon and Pomagranate & Mango.

To be eligible (you can have up to 3 entries):

1 – leave a comment on this post

2 – ‘like’ my Facebook page (see side bar), or if you already are a fan, leave a comment on the post about this give away on the Facebook page.

3 – Tweet this post  on your Twitter feed (click below to tweet)

I will randomly draw  the winner on Saturday morning, July 2nd.

New Avon Naturals Mini Antibacterial Hand Gel

Meet Me On Monday

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Welcome to the 50th edition of “Meet Me On Monday!” Blogging  is a funny thing…we tell our most intimate thoughts for all to read  and yet most of the time I find myself sitting and wondering, “who is  this person!?”  I know them…but yet I don’t know them!  I want  to know who the person is behind all those words so I thought of a great  way for all of us to “meet” each other!

Every Sunday Never Growing Old will post five get to know you  questions that you can copy and paste into your own Monday post and we  can all learn a little more about each and every one of us!!

Java will add a linky so we can follow who participates and get to know them  better!!  Be sure to link the POST and not just your whole blog!!

If you have a question suggestion please email: nevergrowingold@hotmail.com and if she uses your question she’ll will give you a shout out! 

Questions:

1.  What is your favorite food?
2.  What color scheme is your bedroom?
3.  Do you carry a donor card?
4.  In your opinion, is the glass half empty or half full?
5.  Vanilla or Chocolate?
—————————————————————
My Answers!

1. What is your favorite food?

Seriously hard to nail down just one, as I LOVE food!  But by far one of my all time favorites is a Chipotle steak bowl with rice, black beans, corn salsa and cheese.  Only variation in what I get there is sometimes chicken rather than steak.  Oh and always chips, I use the chips to scoop and eat! YUM!

2.  What color scheme is  your bedroom?

The walls are painted Chai Latte, kind of a warm peach color.  All accents (curtains, bedding etc) are black and white.  I love my room, it is my nest and haven.

3.  Do you carry a donor card?

No, but my drivers license is flagged as an organ donor.  I am a huge supporter of organ  donation as a dear friend’s son was born with heart valve issues and required a valve replacement at 5 months old.  Someone  had to lose their precious child of 3 years old, but they lovingly gave the gift of life to countless other children by donating parts of that angel.  I cannot imagine NOT donating my organs.  Or blood on a regular basis for that matter!

4.  In your opinion, is the glass half empty or half full?

Full…only far more than half, about 95% full.  And I believe that is all attitude.  It isn’t our circumstances,  it is how we respond to them that makes life great!

5.  Vanilla or  Chocolate?

Chocolate…preferably dark chocolate.  :)

An Over Due Apology

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When I screw up, I take ownership of my mistakes.  Intentional, unintentional, whatever the circumstances, I admit when I am wrong.

Back in March I hosted a give away on my blog for some Avon product.  I had never done something like this so was a tad out of my league but did it anyway.  The winner was posted and I ordered the product color she chose.  It came in, I even went and purchased the packaging to mail the item, and then lost her address.  I tried a few times to email her but it seems my emails did not go through, perhaps caught in a ISP server as spam, since Avon was mentioned in the email?  I don’t know but that was not an excuse.  I could have posted on my blog, and hope she saw it and contacted me.  But I got busy and let it slip through the cracks.

Justifiably she is a bit miffed with me.  I didn’t make enough effort to maintain contact and get her the prize in a timely fashion. The item is being mailed today.

Danyell – I do apologize that this has taken so  long and for any frustrations this has caused.

As  for  me, far better  organizational skills are needed.  I used to be so good at this multi-tasking, 100 projects  going at once thing, but that was in corporate America.  I have the skills just need to dust them off, find a day planner and start DOING it.  When people count on you to do things, it is only right that you be up on things and do them in a timely manner.

The Dating Diaries ~ First Date Story by Chuck

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It should be noted that I may have to offer Chuck his own page on this blog.  I personally love  his style and humor, it plays well in the sandbox (he doesn’t throw the sand, smack others with his dump truck or shovel and bucket, and isn’t a cat so doesn’t view this as a litter box…we have good chemistry going here!)  I leave you this morning with Chuck, while I go find coffee and get a shower and get ready to take on this day….

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

I have a first date story that I’d like to share.

Testing a comment made previously on this blogger’s site, I was compelled to test the “Welcome Home” theory.

My first date was walking into the appointed meeting place as I pulled up. Acting quickly, I beeped and waved. Well done me! She turned away from the door and started walking towards my car. My plan is working. I would much rather meet someone for the first time anonymously and away from others. There’s just something about meeting someone for the first time from a sitting position, a sitting in a restaurant or otherwise type of establishment that I’m uncomfortable with. As if one of us has been sitting there for a time alone has somehow drawn the attention of others. Hence, now our meeting is a show for the entertainment enjoyment of those already there and with someone! I’ve recognized those situations myself, and likewise take great interest in the opportunity to observe two strangers meeting.

So… as I got out my car and walked towards her in the relative anonymity provided by the establishment’s parking lot/building front my immediate thoughts were of her hair, her smile, and her eyes. Wild arse hair, great smile, and beautifully gifted eyes. I’m not one to ogle, so I didn’t check to see if the smile on her face went all the way to her toes as was claimed previously on this blogger’s site. However, I did note later when she showed me her lower back tat, the smile went at least that far… but I digress as is my tendency to do.

So back to my first meeting… As I approached, she smiled and held out her hand for the obligatory “shake”. I shook that off and went in for the ostensible “church hug”… after all, it was Sunday and no one refuses a church hug on Sunday. It has been my experience that “hello hugs”, while not necessarily taboo are generally not part of a “meeting you for the first time” greeting… at least in the virtual dating world. But that may have something to do with the virtual vs. actual touching thing where touching another person may absolutely ruin a good virtual experience. The hug was a bit awkward at first… I believe each of us had one arm up and one arm down but other than that, all I will say is that I was able to move my hands up and down her back a few times while contemplating the question, “do I feel ‘Welcome Home’?” Note I had driven an hour to get there and had just recently navigated a hairpin turn on a steep hill the likes of which have probably failed many an Oak Hills High School student driver. I won’t even mention the bus transfers, losing my luggage at the train station, and being pawed by the TSA lady I match dated once a few years back. Nonetheless, I knew for certain I was deep in the Westside… Like Charlie Sheen in Apocalypse Now, a near drop off from civilization… I think I smelled Indiana.

Again, back to “the hug” and the end of this story… what I felt is what I wanted to feel, and that was to be comfortable and comforted. That may sound strange but believe me it was exactly where I was at today. Maybe “Welcome Home” only happens at home… and I’m definitely okay with that concept. I also want to make one last point before going to bed (good thing I took a nap today… it will help at work tomorrow). She talks fast, upbeat, and with excitement… a conversational pace and style very similar to my own. Actually, even my use of the “ellipsis” or “…” in writing is simply a reflection of a conversational style of both wanting to provide further detail on a subject yet move on all at the same time (ADA, multitasking, call it what you will). But in general, the “…” notes that more was said or done in that interval and there may be more to come… which in case you’ve not been reading there is yet more to come…

The Dating Diaries ~ Post Game Commentary

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Our boy, Chuck, may have been batting from the bottom of the order, but this player brings serious potential to the game and should be watched closely in the coming match ups.  In fact, he is being moved to the top of the batting order, the coaching staff doesn’t want to over look potential great talent.

He brings to the field a strong frame, tall and broad shouldered (always  a plus for this scout).  Great sense of humor, not shy, and intelligent, he is definitely very composed in the batters  box.  No strike outs  here, he cleanly hit  every pitch despite noting at game time that the pitcher could be trouble (more points).  :)   Very observant, took great notes before game time, stepped up to the plate and impressed the Marvelous one, this guy doesn’t miss a beat, he is more than big league material. He  has mischief in those great eyes, and I picked up on a playful streak too (bonus points on the  board!).

Certainly too early to know if  this player will make the team, but the scouts are very interested in seeing more of what he has to offer!  Yes, he will remain in the line up ;)

Beyond that, the Marvi one is just  a bit speechless (I know right, me at a loss for words????).

Stay tuned, you just know Chuck will have more to say, and the dialog will no doubt continue over the coming days before the next opening pitch of the next match up.

Play ball!

The Dating Diaries ~ Pre-Game Report

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Pre-Game Report From Chuck:

On deck and batting at the bottom of the order… originally slated in the middle of lineup earlier this month, he’s just now returned after dealing with some personal issues. The scouts don’t really have a lot of data on this guy, playing at this level. He pretty much jumped the minors right out of college and is still waiting to have that break out season. His home run production has never lived up to expectations and that’s probably due to his tendency to always swing at the first pitch thereby leading to a higher than normal number of strikeouts (the last part of statement included simply to maintain continuity of the analogy :) ). But anyway, it seems pitchers have picked up those tendencies and exploited them whenever possible. He told me before the game that he’s really been working on his patience at the plate and that has led to a highly touted return to the lineup today. Patience being only one of many factors to consider, only some at bats will tell if he’s going to break out of his slump and live up to those earlier expectations.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Good morning, Chuck, and thanks for the pre-game report!

WOW you are on a roll today, my friend, and my brain is still on the first cup of coffee.

What our boy has learned through extensive practice and coaching, and assuming the stars are all in alignment, could not only pull him out of his slump, but quite possibly land that  home run and begin his best season ever!  He needs a slump buster, but not that typical kind normally associated with such turn arounds  (aren’t those very over weight ugly  types?).  No, he needs something very special, a rare gem, a true jewel.  One that ‘understands’ and ‘respects’ a player of his caliber. Someone who can throw exactly the pitch he needs and wants to help him prove he can exceed all expectations.  Those types of slump busters are more like mystical creatures, or fairies, sometimes they have to be seen to be believed.  But trust us, those little tiara wearing pixies are very real and if you can just believe in magic, it could be you will spot one in that undisclosed location today.  Trust your instincts, and be advised they usually wear a Reds jersey and are blondes ;) but don’t sport their tiara in public!

Time will tell of course, and as game time approaches today, I am quite certain everyone will be eagerly awaiting a post-game update on how our boy does!

The Dating Diaries ~ Europe & Caviar

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I’ve really enjoyed the experience so far of reading profiles, looking at pictures and exchanging emails and going on dates with the potentials for future Mr. Marvi Marti.  Maybe it is just my over all attitude  and approach to this, but I’ve not had the horror stories that I’ve read about in blogs by  other single women.  Some of the horror stories my dates have shared have been worth every penny I spent subscribing to the sites, just for the humor associated with their adventures.  I realize  they don’t necessarily find it amusing but I certainly do!  For example, 2 of my dates told me of a woman who is a midget little person.  She doesn’t say this in her profile, and her photos are done in such as way that it is not evident that when her profile says  under 5 foot tall, it really means about 3 foot if in stilettos.  They don’t find out until this tiny little thing shows up and has to get a running start to jump up on the seat in the booth at the restaurant.

All of the men I have met, and there have been many, have really been great guys.  (Nope I am NOT a serial dater, I’m looking for my Prince and ya gotta meet a lot of frogs to find one it seems.  It’s a chemistry thing…still trying to find it though  there have been 2 second and one 3rd date so far….)  Their photos and descriptions of themselves have been accurate.  I have been shocked by some of the men that contact me.  Two of these men are very well off, as in LOADED from what I can tell.  I know, dear sistas out there, you are wondering why I am not beating a path to their yacht and finding a way to rope them into marriage.  That is what this post  is all about today, WHY I am not even pursuing a date with them.

When a man has photos of all over Europe, him in them, and his fancy cars, and with the high society members  he rubs elbows with, it freaks me the hell out.  Their profiles are very well written, it is very evident that they are everything they claim as far as money, social circles etc.  That or they are expert con-artists actors, and that is always possible.  But seriously…I am a simple, laid back, partially redneck, west side girl.  In my world it’s paycheck to paycheck living.  Let me paint the picture from what I have read and the photos I’ve seen both on the site and what was sent/shared directly:

Your world is tuxedos/black tie events, famous or wealthy people.  You know which fork to use of the 12 positioned next to your fancy china plate that is worth more than the car I drive.  My world is hoodie sweat shirts, face paint, burgers on the grill and we eat with our fingers or plastic forks.

In your world it is Chateau Mouton Rothschild and Chateau Lafite wine and Tutankamun Ale beer.  In my world it’s Four Buck Chuck and Barefoot wine,  Bud Light, Select 55, and PBR (stands for Pabst Blue Ribbon, as in beer, not Professional Bull Rider).

Your kind enjoy fancy hors d’oeuvres of mini beef wellington, caviar and oysters.  In  my world it is Cheese Whiz on a saltine cracker, Totino’s Pizza Rolls, or a veggie tray.

You dine on filet minion and things I cannot even pronounce let alone spell!  Around here we dine on White Castles and grill our own bacon beef sliders and slap those babies on buns from the discount bread store.

You enjoy dressing in multi-hundred dollar outfits and going to the opera, symphony and Broadway, or a sporting event  in the heated luxury suite, fully catered.  I am outside with the 65,000 screaming fans freezing our asses off in the stands wearing old blue jeans and gym shoes, or on a blanket in the park catching the Cincinnati Pops under the stars in capri pants, a tank top and flip flops.

Your idea of a nice evening out is a fancy meal, in fancy place, all dressed up, with menus written in French, candles on the table and hushed conversations.  My idea of a great night is a sports bar, people yelling and clapping watching the game, and drinking beer.  Hell I’m still learning to throw darts, I can’t handle a menu that requires a translator.

You jet all over  the world for lunch or a vacation in fancy places like Paris and Monte Carlo.  I’ve gotta be drunk to get on the plane to begin with, and like No Way Jose’s and Hogs and Honeys in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, or for an out of the country experience,  Senior Frogs and Hard Rock Cafe in Cancun!

Do you get what I’m driving at here?  Sure, I could hold my own at one of your fancy schmansy events if I stood there looking pretty and kept my mouth shut.  You might even be able to pull an Eliza Doolittle on me and have me properly educated so I don’t stand up and scream “Come on Dover!  Move  your blommin ass!” at a horse race.  But I wouldn’t be HAPPY!  I’m not from your world, I wouldn’t be comfortable in it.  Sure  I am flattered you’d even consider someone like me, but we aren’t going to fit.

“Some day my Prince will come” and when he does, he’ll probably be riding a Harley and we’ll get matching tattoos.  And that will be just fine with me!   :)

The Dating Diaries ~ Hello Again, Chuck!

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As you may recall, I  had been dialoging with a reader, named Chuck, who sought out my advice because I am a possible person of interest to him so damned brilliant, about asking me some doubtlessly magnificent chick out on a date.  He then took a hiatus for a reconnection with a past love, but he has returned to the dating scene and is back to corresponding with me via comments on blog posts.  He recently commented on my Letter To My Future Husband about our wedding vows.  As is the  case when Chuck leaves me a comment, I’m going to respond, because we have such fun doing this!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Dear Marvelous, Sexy, Wonderfully Sweet Marti, (artistic liberty taken again)

So when you say those vows… try not to blink uncontrollably, as my 2nd and 3rd wife did (she was the same person… I shoulda known), as the uncontrollable blinking shows the whole sincerity part is already lost. But what do you do then? What do you do when you realize at the last possible moment you are alone at the alter. You move forward in your new marriage saying I can change that… that’s what I did anyway. From “for better…” to “…in health”.

Seriously though, those are some great vows… while I’ve not lived them perfectly myself, I have lived them and I do have those expectations for my future. What’s interesting about vows is that many people look at them as if they are just words in a sentence when it comes to their day to day lives. The concept of belonging to one another takes on a negative connotation… my future bride will read “Love and Respect”. And she will understand my basic need for respect as I understand her basic need for love. Sometimes I do not know if I’ll ever be up for that again, but if I found her, The One, all those doubts would fade away.  I’m absolutely certain that the doubts I have in others, that I carry on my shoulders like weights of gold vaulted up for protection, a sword held high and a shield held out will fall with a resounding crash to the earth and I will be whole again.  Oh yeh, another thing that will always be certain about my bride, she will like watching Red’s games on TV with me at sports bars and stuff!

Chuck

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Dear Handsome Stranger,

Ah yes, those moments at the alter when everything in us screams run like hell yelling “no way, not happening, I MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT”, and yet we stand there and say “I do”.    It sucks donkey jewels when we don’t listen to our inner voice,  doesn’t it?  Usually they are costly lessons, either of paying dearly for sticking with it or for letting go of the best thing that will ever happen to us. (many are the men that are thankful regret not hanging on to me, as I indeed am the worst nightmare best thing that can happen to any male of  the  species!)

Maybe we should get together and compare notes (strictly for research purposes of course)?  I know of some great sports bars that happen to air the Cincinnati Reds games.

Oh..and by chance is that book available on Kindle??  ;)

Your Favorite Go-To Girl With A  “Make them whole  again”  Glue Gun,

Marvi Marti

Not As Young As I Once Was…

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O.M.G.

What the heck was I thinking?????

I am so T-I-R-E-D….

Yesterday my baby girl turned 21.  Last night we went out to my favorite little pub to have a drink to celebrate.  Me in my moment of temporary insanity wisdom tagged people on Facebook to come out and join us.  It quickly turned into a small party.  Her brother, old neighbors, my brother and Diva Angeo, my ex-husband (oh yes, I was nice and he did his best to play nice in the sandbox too), and several others showed up.  I crawled in bed about 2:30 this morning.  But not before lots of fun, photos of 3 of us (one being my daughter) up drinking on the bar, and a lot of “oh stay for one more mom/Marti”.  I must be insane!!!  While this time I did not get totally hammered, whenever I am out with my son it is usually a “you will pay for this later, self” kind of time.  I am paying for it thankfully from lack of sleep and not a royal hangover.  But then I didn’t do shots or play drinking games, I actually CAN behave sometimes!

I am so far beyond exhausted this morning.  Most of this week I have had insomnia at some point during the night, waking up unable to go to sleep again.  And now, here I sit, sucking down coffee like I  need it to breathe (which as tired as I am I probably DO).  Miss Marti will be dead on her feet today. Jumper cables may need to be used to keep me going today.

I remember a time, in my much younger days, when I could do this all week long and be bright eyed and bushy tailed the next morning, sometimes not even going to bed between the party and the next work day.  Those days are long gone!  Good grief I am getting too old for this!  Who am I kidding, I AM too old for this!  Ah but it was fun :)

~*~

 

*photo by Maggie Smith/www.freedigitalphotos.net

The Dating Diaries ~ Maybe Mr. Right?

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I’ve been corresponding with a guy via email and texts (we haven’t met in person as my schedule has been booked solid for the past few weeks but we will meet!).  He is confident that we are going to really hit it off, of course I do hope he is correct.  After all, I’m looking for Mr. Right. He feels he IS that person.  He wrote me and told me I could post his email to the Dating Diaries section of my blog.  He is a daily reader now…

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Here it is Thursday evening, and I thought that it would be a good time to write and tell Marti  how I look so forward to meeting. I am hoping that we can meet real soon . It may sound somewhat crazy, but as I have got to know Marti either through texting or emailing I really enjoyed getting to know her. I have told Marti that I am her Prince and I am going to sweep her off her feet. Only Marti will know.

Marti and I met online on a dating site, I believe that I emailed her and was lucky that she emailed me back. I have tried to share myself with Marti and let her get to know me the best I can so far. I have read Marvi Marti and it has really been something that I have enjoyed reading. I come home from work and get on the computer and read a little bit and see if Marti posted anything new. Marti told me in a text today that she had writers block. I told her to write about me and why I think I am the guy for her. Well she didn’t write about me so I said I would write as to why I am the guy for her.

Marti I don’t know if we are the one for each other or not. I do know that I have enjoyed texting and emailing each other. I like to text you good morning as I drive to work. I like to text you during the day and just ask you how your day is.

Why am I the one for Marti?

Marti I want to love and I am only looking for that one person to love. Are you the one?

I am the guy that knows how to let you be yourself and not be that controlling person or Manipulating person. That does not work in a relationship.

I am the guy that wants to make your heart beat fast every time we are together.

I am the guy that when we meet you feel that special feeling.

I am the guy that will make your eyes glisten every time we are together or when we go out I will dance for you in the parking lot.

I am the guy that wants to share me and not part of me but all of me with you.

I am the guy that wants to take the time to get to know you and enjoy you.

Marti I am not a material guy and I don’t care about material things. What I have found is that love or true love is more important then things you own.

Just a guy looking for true love again. I had true love before and I wanted true love again. This is something more that I will share with you in good time and hopefully it will be soon.

Marti I know that you are dating , but when we finally meet I want to be that last guy. Now how can I say that , I really don’t know. But what I do know is that I have really enjoyed trying to find out. I hope that are time will come when you and I look each other in the eyes and that is when we know that we are rite for each other. I want to be that one that makes your eyes sparkle.

Marti I like that you are open and sharing. I like it that you love kids as I have two of my own. I like it that you and I can talk and be open with each other and you allow me to share myself with you. Remember the mirror!! I want to have more experiences like that.

So I hope that after all is said and done that it is us that is together. I have a lot to share and a lot of love that I want to share, You could be the one. Lets meet really soon and start our memories together.

Mike

Dear Future Husband ~ About Those Wedding Vows..

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Dear Future  Husband,

I haven’t found you yet, that I know of, but I continue to date and get to know men as I search for you.  You remain a mystery at this time, but one day fate will bring us together or reveal that  someone I already know is the one, and I will indeed marry again.  Likely we will just run off somewhere and get married, no big fan fare, there is simply no need.  We’ll celebrate with friends and family at a later date, something simple.  It isn’t about them, it will be about us.

I think that is the big mistake made so many times is making a huge ordeal out of the production, the wedding, and not enough focus on the commitment  being made.  Believe me that won’t happen to me again.  I still believe in fairy tales, that forever can happen.  When I got married before, I stuck to it.  Because when I give my word in something so serious I mean it.

  • For better, for worse – believe me, I’ve stuck it out through both. Who knew how bad worse could be, but it can be and it was, and I was still there.  It  will be no different for you, I will be there for the better and the worse.
  • For richer, for poorer – oh yes, while not rich we did well at times, and while no one starved believe me we knew what it felt like when the financial floor falls out from under you.  And I stayed there just as I vowed.  While I prefer that we be comfortable financially, should things go belly up in the bank tank, I will still be there beside you. (but don’t be stupid)
  • In good times and in bad – it is enough to say (we can discuss this in person) that I am familiar with some very good times, and some VERY bad times in my last marriage.  I never strayed, never gave up.  A vow is a vow.  Rest assured, we will have good times, you and I, and during the bad times, yes I will still be there.  No  I won’t sleep on the couch and neither will you.  We’ll figure it out.
  • In sickness and in health – Rest assured, I am no stranger sickness, VERY well known enemy, and again I stayed there, true to him, and never walked away.  May we grow old together in great health.  If not, never fear, I will be there  to take care of you until the end. It’s how I roll.  You will do the same for me, I know it  in my heart. (If you don’t I will haunt you from the other side. Count on that.  You will be very afraid)

If you should desire to have me as your wife (and face it, who doesn’t),  if you cannot say the words and mean them, and be prepared to stick it out till death do us part, then spare me and move on.  Marriage isn’t a game.  It is a covenant, a contract, between us, you don’t break a covenant.  Think hard, my beloved, because I will mean every single word.  Only I may wish to rewrite the standard wedding vows, in fact just ditch them completely…

I love this book series I read once, and I highly recommend any male that wants to spend his life with me read the first book of the series, Dark Prince by Christine Feehan.  I need a man with strength of character, personality, loyalty, etc, like Mikhail Dubrinsky, Prince of the Carpathians.  (NO it does not have pictures, but then you read the articles, not look at the pictures, right?) The future Mr. Marvi doesn’t have to match up physically, after all they ARE fictional (though anyone that happens to match the description of Mikhail will  not be turned away).  But I’ve encountered a few men that possess this kind of character, and I am certain you do too, or marrying you would be the furthest thing from my mind.  In fact we won’t get past the first few dates.  The Carpathian race cannot be unfaithful and cannot tolerate it in their mates.  What a concept!  They have a binding ritual of words, the equivalent to our marriage vows, which is deeper in my opinion.  I want a man that is comfy with saying and meaning:

You are my lifemate.
I claim you as my lifemate.
I belong to you.
I offer my life for you.
I give you my protection.
I give you my allegiance.
I give you my heart.
I give you my soul.
I give you my body.
I take into my keeping the same that is yours.
Your life will be cherished by me for all my time.
Your life will be placed above my own for all time.
You are my lifemate.
You are bound to me for all eternity.
You are always in my care.

Seriously outstanding and beautiful, don’t you agree? Of course you do, dear future one, because we wouldn’t even be discussing a life together if you were not the kind of man that could say and mean those sorts of things.  I am, after all, putting my future and life in your care, and more importantly my heart.  If you are not up the task I am not for you.  I won’t settle for anything less.