“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
~ Marilyn Monroe
THAT right there is one of my all time favorite quotes. Joe, one of my devoted readers and president of my blog fan club, says that many of my posts are primers for anyone that dares to love me. That quote should be plastered all over their brain and heart too, regarding me, it sums things up pretty nicely.
Indeed, very much so. What’s mine is mine and I am very protective over it. I don’t want to share the man in my life with anyone, at least as far as intimacy goes. I tried that, it was not for me. Those moments alone, making love, should be reserved for just the two and no one else. Once you have shared that what is left that belongs to just you and your mate? What is sacred, special, priceless? Nothing! I am also just a bit selfish when it comes to time spent. I expect it….demand it. Doesn’t have to be endless hours or at my beck and call, but I want quality time with the man that is mine.
I don’t like to wait for what I want. When I find it, I want it now. I’ve been forced to be more patient in my last, brief relationship than I would have imagined possible. And I did pretty well if I do say so myself though it got me absolutely no where, nothing for the effort. Life is short and I want to grab the gold ring and run with it, patience was lost on this girl.
A little insecure….
OH hell yes, that would be me. I’m horribly self conscious, never feel like I measure up. When someone loves me I need reassurance and often. Why? Because you can only be told that you are:
have a heart of gold
a total package
low maintenance/high return
etc. etc. etc….so many times, yet always be left by the men that say it, before you just don’t buy that bullshit they are selling anymore. If I really am all of those things, then why the hell would anyone leave it behind?
I make mistakes….
Oh where to start? My life is full of them and I’ve learned lessons from every one. My intentions 99% of the time are good, but I still mess things up. Obviously that is the case, as I keep messing things up all along the way with every relationship I’ve ever been in. It must be me, because I always get left behind. Even the most recent, I simply, as he put it, beat him to the punch. I have no idea what I did wrong, but I screwed something up somehow.
I’m out of control and at times hard to handle….
Yep, there are times when I am out of control. I have a few beers and get a little crazy. I get a wild idea in my head and cannot shake it. I am very free spirited and tend to not think before I act. I go off half cocked at times when I’m upset. It’s the same intense passion that drives the good in me, driving the less than stellar qualities. I’m stubborn as the day is long, goes with being a Taurus. I will not budge once I dig in my heals until you can prove to me that I’m wrong, and even then good luck.
But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best….
My best is pretty damn awesome and wonderful. Amazing even. My soft side that I rarely expose is a treasure from what I have been told. But that is part of the whole. The greater part of the complete package, but there is the worst parts of me. And if you want my best you have to be willing to accept my worst. It doesn’t rear it’s head often but it is there. And anyone that cannot handle that part of me, doesn’t come close to deserving the best parts of me. A friend told me that is why no one has lasted yet, because so far none have been worthy to have me. I like that. I don’t buy it but I like it.
And that brings up the second favorite quote, as I go on looking for my soul mate, the man who can handle and love me at my worst and my best, and walk through this life as my partner:
“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”
~ Marilyn Monroe