Monthly Archives: April 2010

Venting Some Pet Peeves

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Okay I am jumping up on my soap box this morning and venting a bit about a few things that just drive me bonkers.  All of these have been pet peeves for some time but are fresh in my head this morning because I’ve encountered them all in the past 12 hours.

Let us start with shopping carts left in parking spaces.  Every retail store I’ve ever shopped has multiple cart corrals, places throughout the parking lot for placing your shopping cart when you finish unloading your purchases into your car.  This prevents run away carts crashing into other people’s cars, or filling up otherwise available parking spaces.   Shoppers who can walk the entire mega store  yet cannot walk an extra 30 feet to put their carts in the appropriate place.   Seriously many of them could use a few of those 30 foot walks, they have an exceedingly large amount of junk in the trunk and that little stroll to the cart corral, while it certainly has no real health benefits on its own, if they did it more often it might help!

Next is  sun delays on the highway.  Every morning from early spring until late fall, people on the highways driving into the rising sun cause traffic nightmares when they are unable to see.  The reason they cannot see is the sun is shining right in their field of vision.  These same people drive this same route every single work day and never does it cross their minds to purchase a pair of sunglasses.  They have one hand holding their $8 latte and the other alternating between steering and blocking the sun from their eyes.  The car drifts around their lane, and into other lanes, they hit their brakes because they cannot see and without fail there are near misses and some days rear end collisions all because these people are too cheap to go out and purchase a pair of sunglasses.  There are some that are wearing fashion accessories that resemble sunglasses but are useless beyond making them look impressive.  Well maybe not so, as there is nothing impressive about driving along resembling someone that is heavily intoxicated because you cannot see.  I fail to understand how this can happen to the same people every single weekday and yet they never purchase sunglasses.  They blow countless dollars on over priced coffee every day and cannot splurge for a $15 or $20 pair of dark, effective shades for their eyes.  ARGH!!!!

Right up there with the highway sun warriors is the elite group that THINK they can handle driving while talking on their cell phones, or worse yet texting while driving.  And before you puff up your chests boys, the vast majority of crap drivers while talking on the phone is MEN.  Not that the multi-tasking experts, women, are any better at controlling their vehicles while gabbing on the phone, but the majority of offenders I see every day on the highway are men.  I cannot tell you how many change lanes without looking, drift over the marker lines for their lanes and back, speed up then slow way down, all the while holding the phone to their ear with one hand and gesturing with the other.  Really you not only do not look important as you drive along talking but you are a danger to everyone around you.  Get a damn blue tooth if there is really something SO important it cannot wait until you are off the road or arrive at your destination.  I get that sometimes we all have some reason to be on the phone while in the car (though that is up for debate as we got by just fine without cell phones for a long time), but get a hands free device.  The kicker is the people that are sipping their latte, without sunglasses and talking on the phone! Then trying to read a newspaper or sales report at the same time while driving 65mph in the 55mph zone, oblivious to anything but themselves!

That brings me to another driving disaster…women applying their makeup while driving.  REALLY???? You couldn’t get out of bed 10 minutes earlier so you could doll up before you get in the car?  You sit at red lights then through half of the green light while applying mascara or eyeliner, nearly rear end others putting on your lipstick all because  you are so self absorbed in your appearance in the mirror and not watching the road.  You are driving a car, for crying out loud woman DRIVE THE CAR! Put your face on in the bathroom at home, or in the parking lot at work, NOT while operating a motor vehicle.  And yes, I’ve seen them with the latte in one hand, cell phone tucked under their chin, putting on their eye shadow, driving and shielding their unprotected eyes all with the other hand ON THE DAMN HIGHWAY!

If you are behind the wheel, DRIVE THE CAR.  If you need to arrange for dinner reservations, call when you are in the parking lot or at your desk.  Skip a few lattes and splurge on a pair of sunglasses and a blue tooth. And when you are finished shopping put the flipping cart in the appropriate place!

Ok all done venting, have a swell day!

Dessert First

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I had a friend, Janie, that used to say if you went out to dinner some place fancy you should order dessert first.  Her reasoning was that the dessert in most 4 or 5 star places is usually the best part, and you wouldn’t want to choke on your meal and die having missed dessert.  I always loved her way of thinking, go for the best part first!

A number of years ago my husband and I were kinship foster parents to 4 kids.  My cousin is a navel officer and his wife lost parental rights over their kids and he was heading to Iraq for a year.  We took in the kids who were 2, 4, 5 and 8 at the time.  The year was tough at times, rewarding at others.  4 little kids with a lot of emotional baggage but I won’t go in to that.  We tried our best to offer a home full of love, stability and FUN!  We had all kinds of special weekly ‘events’ like Crazy Hair Day – a day to wear your hair totally crazy just because we could.  The 2 girls sporting 8 or 10 pig tails all over their heads, the boys with their hair spiked up on end.  Some days were jammie days, we stayed in our pajamas the entire day, again just because we could.  Fridays were always a hit though! I worked 3 days a week at the time, 12.5 hour days, so I could have Monday and Friday off while they were with us.  Fridays we had Turkey Surprise for breakfast.  Their dad had called chocolate chip pancakes Wild Turkey Surprise and I wanted to keep their connection to him as much as possible so that was the Friday breakfast, only I would jokingly call it Turkey Poop Surprise.  Friday nights were always movie night, everyone in their jammies then popcorn and a movie starting at 8pm.  But the best part of Friday was Dessert First night.  On Fridays we always had dessert first, and if you did not eat all of your dessert you were not permitted to have dinner.  This was one night the kids absolutely loved beyond all the other fun and believe me even the 2yo knew what night was Dessert First.   It didn’t take long for us to realize that there was no need to make dinner those nights, rarely did anyone actually eat their dinner. I learned much during that year, and one of the things I learned was from Dessert First.  Go for the best, most important part first!

This weekend the Drama Divas will have the keys to our new home.  Saturday morning we will receive the keys, the current occupants are moving Thursday and want to clean on Friday so we can move into a clean home.  With any luck things will fall into place and the movers will be able to move us on Saturday.  We are ALL excited!

Originally I had wanted the first night for me and my sister.  This was mostly just because I want to get out of the house I share with my ex and I cannot wait so I don’t care if I am sleeping on the floor alone, I just want OUT.  My sister said she was going with me so I wasn’t alone, which I love her to pieces for doing.  We all had planned to paint our bedrooms before we all moved in the house.  But now I’m thinking why wait?  Sure we can paint easier with empty rooms, no doubt about that.  However we can still paint with the furniture there it will just be a bit more work.  The best part of this move is all of us being under one roof together without me having to leave each night and sleep else where.  To finally all be under one roof as one happy family.  I talked to mom on the drive in this morning and assured her that all of us moving in is way more important than painting or being there with my sister, it is all of us girls together that is the best part – our dessert first.  The painting and decorating is secondary to us all being together for me, so I want my cake first.  None of us have rooms currently in colors we cannot manage for a few days until the new paint goes up on the walls.

Hopefully mom can find a reputable mover that can get us moved in this Saturday.  Then Saturday night when Sarah is home from work, we’ll open up a bottle of wine (we need to find a special one for this occasion with a very special name suited to the event) and we will have our dessert first, our first night all under one roof together.  We’ll wake up Sunday morning for the first time in the Diva’s Den/Estrogen Tank, have coffee and breakfast together in our new house all together.  The rest, the painting and decorating,  is just extra icing on our cupcake, for now we’d just like that cupcake!

**additional sprinkles on my cupcake:  My new laptop shipped and estimated delivery is this Friday. My bedding shipped this morning!!!! **

I Don’t Like Spiders And Snakes

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The Jim Stafford song, I Don’t Like Spiders And Snakes, is stuck in my head today.  I remember it well from when I was a little girl.  I really have no idea when it was written or recorded just that I heard it a lot I assume on WSAI AM since that was the only station I listened too as a kid.  It is stuck in my head lately because it is that time of year when we see a lot of spiders in the house of all sorts.   I cannot stand spiders or snakes and neither can my kids.  My big, muscle bound, 26yo son who goes to work chasing down bad guys that might shoot him, will scream like a girl if he encounters an unsuspected spider in the shower.  Go figure.  My 20yo daughter who works in a vet’s office and deals with vicious dogs like bit bulls that have big teeth (the better to eat you with my dear) will cry if she  finds herself ‘cornered’ by a spider the size of her little finger nail.  I hate them myself but as long as it will fit under my shoe to be squashed like a grape I’m not likely to be traumatized by them.  I admit to having ‘spi-dar’, spider radar.  I can be going about my day minding my own business, stroll into the laundry room and as I enter I know the enemy with 8 legs is there before I spot him.  If I stop and look around carefully I will spot it and seconds later it will be a smudge on whatever surface it was crawling.  If I am without shoes on I have found making a fist and smashing it quickly is rather effective too.  It is kind of fun to do that in the presence of my daughter just to watch her skin crawl.   Recently a black spider that had terrorized her in my master bedroom (to hear her it was HUGE) ventured across the floor in front of me on the tile, it has gone to that web in the  sky.  It should be noted that the HUGE spider was smaller than a dime.  This morning my spi-dar has gone off twice, once in my room again as I was tying my shoes I got that ‘feeling’ and glanced up to see my next victim crossing the floor where it met it’s end in front of the desk.  The other was at work in the ladies room where I knew walking in I was being watched by the enemy and sure enough there it was in the last stall.  This one is a fighter and positioned in a corner behind a toilet.  I have tried twice to smash it but it curls into the corner.  I will get it if it doesn’t move along, sooner or later.

Snakes are another thing I cannot stand but I’ve not reached the point of squishing them like I do spiders.  I react like my daughter does to spiders when I encounter a snake.  This same child that is terrified of the spiders would have a pet snake if I had allowed it, the freak.  I accepted the frogs (they come with a periodic feedings of a few dozen crickets), the fish, the rabbits, the rodents and the dog, but was firm on the snake, no snakes in my house ever.   I hope the soon-to-be ex is anticipating it, she WILL launch the “daddy can I have a snake” campaign as soon as I move out this weekend.  I’d love to be a fly on the wall to  observe this process as she has her daddy wrapped around her little finger.

The weekend was uneventful unless you count leveling up twice in World of Warcraft as excitement.   I was a tad hard on the hubby because I was on an emotional roller coaster, excited that the house is final and ours, but very let down that I could not move in this past weekend, and struggling with  fresh wave of pain over the reality that we are divorcing.  At least it was mostly via texts on our cell phones, but maybe referring to him repeatedly as ‘dickhead’ was a bit over the top?  I suppose I owe him an apology for that. Really I do not hate him, I’m just shattered that he can so easily toss me aside after 23 years together.

Saturday evening we Divas enjoyed a bottle of Little Red Dress Pinot Noir.  Was nice to just relax with the women while we planned the week ahead in anticipation of our move.  Last Saturday it was a bottle of Mad Housewife.  Every Saturday we plan to purchase a bottle of some wine, preferring those with creative names, to try for fun.   Sunday was breakfast of pancakes and goetta, the goetta being a staple for breakfast on Sunday.

I spent the day playing the video game and just lining up the ducks in a row for moving.  I got online and finally narrowed it down and ordered the new bedding for my room.  I’m really pleased with the choice, and added a cute Hello Kitty for the bed sporting a butterfly costume.  It came up on the screen and was too cute not to order.  Another ‘unnecessary’ item that hubby would have said no to had  I asked for it in the past.  Mom is setting up the movers for this weekend, we have to use one that is very reputable and experienced with antiques and special items.  I have a $4000 grandfather clock that has to be moved so I want someone I can trust with my most prized item.  The clock man came and disassembled the inside and packed it all up and will put it  back together at the other end once it has been moved and service it in the process.  I LOVE my clock and want that moved carefully.  Friday night, assuming all works out, it will be me and my sister camping at the new place on the floor for a bonding night while painting our rooms.  We are both eager for the day to get here! 3 more days and a wake-up to go.

This week will be full of activity to make time go by fast, hopefully.  Tonight is the 24 group gathering to watch Jack Bauer continue to save the world.  Tomorrow night hubby will be at the fire house so I’ll stay at my house and pack.  That is sure to be emotional but it needs to be done.  Wednesday after work I’ll be going to have the hair cut and highlighted then Debbie will add pink highlights on the light blond ones.  The pink will wash out over the next few weeks but will be fun to have.  I’m having her show me how to do it so I can do my own when these fade.  Thursday I’ll go get the nails done and then Friday will be here and we can hopefully move.  The weekend will be devoted to painting, the move, and an evening at Linnie’s hopefully with sis and some of our girlfriends to celebrate the big move.  I think chocolate cake shots will be in order!

Well lunch is nearly over and I need to go harvest crops on Farmville,  feed my dog in Yoville and dig for gold in Treasure Isle before the time is up.

*humming I don’t like spiders and snakes…..*

My big boy that hates spiders

My spider fearing snake loving daughter

Don’t Call Me A Survivor

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10 years ago my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She beat the disease and returned to leading an  active life.   During one of the annual  breast cancer walks to raise money for research, she, my sister and I walked over to the tent set up to honor those women that were survivors.  Mom made mention in passing that she didn’t like being called a survivor but really did not explain her reasons. Just that she didn’t care for the term.

Recently many of my friends have wrapped me in love with wonderfully supportive emails as I am going through this divorce mess.  Many of them have known me a long time and are aware of the many struggles and trials that I’ve encountered in my life and know of the many breaks and scars in my heart.  I’ve not had an easy life and admittedly some of the struggles were consequences of bad choices I had made, though many were just fate.  The emails all carry  encouragement and many have said “we know you, you are a survivor and will make it through this”.    Reading through these emails has caused me to understand why mom does not care for the term ‘survivor’.

In my opinion that word, survivor, is very passive and implies helplessness.   We survive a car accident or a plane crash, things that happen fast and sudden and for which there is not ability to really react to the circumstances.  Strapped in the seat of car, when the other vehicle crosses the center line we either survive the impact or we don’t.   Similar to an airplane  crash you either survive or you don’t.  Cancer on the other hand, while it may indeed kill the patient, usually involves a fight to live.  Chemo, better eating, medications all combine with the efforts of the patient to win a battle, they are actively fighting for their life.  They don’t survive cancer, they fight and beat it, they are in a war.

I don’t see overcoming the difficulties in my  life as a matter of surviving.  I fought battles that were both mental and emotional, even a few physical,  with determination and a lot of hard work and I won.  Sometimes the outcome was that I lost something but then no matter which side wins the war it is never without cost to the winner as well.  I carry within me a lot of scars from those battles in my life but the fact that I land on my feet eventually after fighting through the hardships, actively pursuing the end, to me means I won.  There is nothing passive about the journey through the dark valleys in my life, I don’t curl up in a ball and hope it ends well. I plan, act and work through it.  I fight my way through it and emerge on the other side.   I don’t survive, I fight to win.

No offense to those that  reach out during the time of need.   Encourage me please, keep letting me know you are there and supporting me, I very much appreciate and need it.  But please, don’t call me a survivor.

My Killer Yorkie…

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I’ve written about her before, all 8.5 pounds of lean, mean, fighting machine, our very adorable little Yorkie, Penny.  She lives under the mistaken impression that she is a Rott.  She keeps our air space and yard free of squirrels, birds, stray cats and any potential threat (other people walking down the street for example) with her ferocious bark and “come on I dare you” stance.  It is highly amusing.

One of Penny’s favorite things to do is chase bunnies in the back yard.  If we see one outside we quietly let her out the door and say “get the bunny, Penny”.  She surveys the yard and is off the second she sees it.  She will never catch one because she begins barking as soon as she sees the furry little creature and it is gone through the fence long before she is anywhere near.  She runs as fast as her four little legs can carry her around the entire yard before coming back to the porch looking for a reward for the efforts.

My daughter is working for a local vet while going to school for her vet tech degree.  She has always had a gift with animals, they trust her to no end.  The church we used to attend had a meadow and woods behind it.  When she was about 13, while I was preparing the bulletin for the Sunday services, she walked out into the meadow and put her hand out in the direction of a doe and her fawn.  They walked across the meadow to her and allowed her to pet them.  Her daddy walked to the back of the building to look out and see where she was and saw her petting them.  My poor husband nearly had heart failure when he spotted her.  She was oblivious to the danger she was in if she spooked them, they’d have sliced her to pieces with their hooves, but he was very aware.  He eased out into the parking lot at about the same time the buck made an appearance at the edge of the trees and grunted.  The doe and fawn turned and went trotting off into the woods with him.  Then daddy gently lectured his daughter of the danger she had placed herself in.  She simply could not imagine that the deer would hurt her, after all they walked up to her.  We knew she had a gift just really had no concept of how much of one.  She very easily quiets angry or frightened animals, it is amazing to watch her.  She has always had this ability, and always connected with the animal kingdom on a level few can.  Even bugs get her love, she cried once when daddy ran over a pill bug with the car.  She has a collection of rodents (sorry but rabbits are rodents, as are hamsters and gerbils of which she has many) at her boyfriend’s house because daddy won’t allow them in our home.  We had 4 house rabbits at one point and the memory of them has yet to fade for either of us.  At home she has 2 frogs and a 25 gallon aquarium  in her room, that is enough for us along with the dog.

Last night she brought home one of her bunnies from her boyfriend’s house because she was taking it to work for a checkup the next morning.  Jerry Lee is his name and he looks like a large version of the wild rabbits we have in the landscaping.  His large cage sat in the living room over night, much to the delight of Penny.  She thought he was a toy for her!  She wagged her tail and went around his cage sniffing him all evening.  Poor Jerry Lee stayed in the furthest corner of the cage out of Penny’s reach.  First thing this morning she ran from my daughter’s room to Jerry Lee’s  cage to be sure the new toy was still there.  Jerry Lee had enough and thumped his  back paw down on the bottom of that cage so hard it sounded like a gun shot.  During the night he had done this and Pete thought it was a gun shot and got up to investigate, making his rounds through the house, even thinking perhaps a spring had snapped on the garage door until when he came back through the living room he realized it had been the rabbit.  The move scared Penny half to death, sending her fleeing to the bathroom with me and my daughter.  She was visibly shaken by the confrontation and we got a real good laugh out of little Miss Tough Dog being afraid suddenly of a bunny.  When I let her out of the bathroom  she refused to go near the cage, I had to carry her through the living room to the kitchen to let her outside.  Upon returning she went all the way around the perimeter of the room,  around the back side of the couch before emerging and realizing she could not get down the hallway without passing Jerry Lee’s cage.  She sat down and whined, and I was doubled over laughing at her.  I retrieved Penny and carried her back to my daughter’s room where she hid until Jerry Lee had left the house.  I’m not certain how long it will be before she is ready to take on the bunnies in the yard again but my guess is for a little while they are safe from the killer Yorkie.

The Killer Yorkie