One nice thing about being single, male or female:
The toilet seat is always just as you left it!
Leave it up, it stays put.
Leave it down, and there it will be next time you use the bathroom.
Personally, I prefer to keep the lid closed, keeps cats from drinking from it and from knocking things IN to the commode.
As a part of the 100 Things I Love series, here are 10 websites I love.
Not necessarily in any particular order, and by no means and exhaustive list! I am going to do a 10 blogs I love to read another time so this won’t include blogs. It doesn’t include social media either, that is another category on it’s own. 
Pajamas are all about practical.
You wear flannel or fleece to be comfortable.
You can answer the front door in them if the door bell rings without giving anyone heart failure.
Nick & Nora are far less expensive than Victoria Secret.
Your dog or cat couldn’t care less what you look like crawling into bed.
Nick & Nora will actually be worn…more than 5 minutes.
Jammies – all about YOU!
Practical, comfy jammies
Yes, I really do NEED a sugar daddy. I think. See, I have no idea exactly what a sugar daddy is for other than money. What is expected of him, of me, etc? It’s complicated.
I went to Wikipedia, like any savvy Internet addict would do, and found this:
Sugar daddy is a slang term for a man who offers money or gifts to a younger person in return for companionship or sexual favours.
Hmmm….THAT isn’t much help for me. I’m not ‘younger’ by most definitions. In other words the men that would see me as ‘younger’ are far older and probably beyond the help of a little blue pill and on to penile implants. That isn’t going to work.
A look at the website, Sugar Daddy Finder sounds more like an escort service!!! Sorry, you can make the definition as pretty as you like but strip away the fancy words and you still have….a prostitute.
So…Sugar Companion? Didn’t find a definition for that but face it, same thing just more compatible in age. *heavy sigh*
What’s a girl to do?
Money – yes that part is good.
Lavish gifts? Well I certainly would NOT turn down an iPhone and iPad.
But um…about that intimacy part with a Hugh Hefner wannabe…. not so much.
Maybe I’ll take up rubbing dirt on my face, making a cardboard sign, and sitting on a corner begging…
He is SO hot, hold me back!
Seriously, when was the last time I painted my toes?
Hmmm…..before the camping trip I think, around Halloween.
See, I was dating The Count back then and so I kept the piggies all pretty.
Now that I am single?
Screw it, who cares? Still a peek of red polish left on a few toes and I just don’t care!
The person I am NOT dating, married to, involved with, LOVES all my friends!
The beauty of being single is that there is no one to say they don’t like your friends, or a particular friend.
The person you are NOT involved with never complains about any of them, knocks them, etc.!
Advice for the girls: Chicks before dicks!
Flip it if you are a guy, never let anyone come between you and your friends.
It is Listicle Time!!!!
Oh yes, we are going THERE.
There as in bodily functions considered RUDE beyond words when performed in front of others.
Functions some folks (read: MEN) think are just hilarious.
Okay SOME men, my son for one.
My father used to lift a cheek, let one fly, then say “Oh, did you hear that trumpet roach?”
Not funny.
Especially trapped in a car on the highway with him.
My ex-husband on the other hand would have been mortified to let slip in front of anyone, as it is rude and obnoxious and in poor taste.
Oh alright there are some women the find them amusing. I’m not one of them. However if you engage me in a fart war, I will win.
Consider yourself warned.
Anyway…being single means not having to worry about the issue at all!
I decided for a little change up today to Vlog these answsers.
Click this photo ^^ to link up!
1. Where do you hid the reeally good snacks?
I don’t hide snacks, but chocolate? Oh yes I do hide that. But only if I purchased it for myself. In a house of 4 women chocolate is like gold. Because the Princess Palace (aka: Diva Den) has strict privacy rules about other’s bed chambers anything in my room is considered off limits and safe. But I still have hiding places for it even in my room.
2. Do u keep your vehicle clean or am I the only one who has things falling out of their van?
For the most part my car is pretty clean inside. I go in spurts of cleaner some days than others. Being in Avon, on any given day there could be a number of boxes of brochures in my car, in bags, ready to give out to anyone that happens to be walking upright and breathing. But there is no food, and the car seats from babysitting are gone now (I used to have 2 in my home daycare that required car seats and one that needed a booster).
current condition of my back seat
3. Have you ever been to Vegas?
While I do apply the Vegas rule to any and every situation (what happens there stays there), I have never been to Vegas. Funny thing is, I have ZERO desire to go to Vegas. I might be the only person I know who couldn’t care less if it vanished off the face of the earth. Just nothing about Vegas appeals to me. Not even getting married by an Elvis Presley impersonator would be a draw, not really into that or drive-through weddings either. I don’t gamble, money is too hard to come by to do that, might as well light it and toss it in the fireplace!
Not for me, but click the photo to get info on it if that is what you are seeking.
4. Warm room light blankets or cold room warm snuggly blanket?
COLD room, warm snuggly blanket please! In fact electric blankets are good, I love mine. My cat likes my room cold too because she sleeps on the blanket and keeps warm, usually against my leg.
5. What is the worst airplane/flying experience you’ve ever had?
I will go on record as saying I HATE flying. Terrified the entire time. It is so hard to read or sleep when one is a complete basket case.
First bad experience, and the worst, was my second time in the air, coming home from Cancun. Thankfully the flight down was smooth and uneventful or I’d have hitch hiked back to the states and then hopped a Grey Hound bus home. Coming back I needed to use the ladies room, so I unbuckled my seat belt (that alone was enough to bring on a panic attack) and went. While sitting on the commode we hit turbulence. The flight attendants recommended buckling up. I’m frantically searching all over around the potty, seems no one thought to install a seat belt for the plane toilets. I was certain I was going to bounce against the door, forcing it open, landing with my fat ass sticking up in the air, pants around my ankles, and that when we crashed that is how my body would be found! Thankfully I was able to hang on, finish my business and get back to my seat. No doubt I looked like I had seen death eye to eye when I returned.
Now in order to get on a plane, which I have done a few more times because it is about the only way to make it to a foreign country in reasonable time, I require Xanex. When I informed my doctor about how much it disturbs other passengers to see me laying in the fetal position on the floor sucking my thumb and weeping hysterically, he agreed I needed some flying assistance. I pop one of those babies, have a really big, strong drink at the bar in the airport, and then board the plane. By the time we hit cruising altitude I am out cold sleeping. It is the only way to fly.
Showering.
It’s a choice you can make if you are single.
No need to bother with it.
Spend the entire weekend without one if you can stand yourself that long.
Totally awesome shower curtain, click the photo if you want to purchase it or see other cool ones!
Okay this one isn’t quite mine.
I mean I had it on my list as sleeping anywhere you wish in the house.
Not on the couch because you are fighting and you were banished or decided to be a dolt (listen if you opt for the couch rather than the bed you are indeed a dolt).
But you fall asleep wherever and it is YOUR choice to sleep there.
The part not quite mine is what a local DJ on the radio posted on his Facebook this morning, that goes right along with this reason:
“The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why I fell asleep on the kitchen counter…naked…again.”
~ Jeff Thomas Q102 http://www.facebook.com/jeffthomasradio
Picture 'borrowed' from Daily Cognition, click photo to see other funny animal sleeping pics
You give him/her your car keys.
Or if you are married to them they have their own set.
They head out using your car that has enough gas to get you to and from work for the next 3 days.
The next morning, you get in the car and there is just barely any gas in the tank.
The light indicating you need gas comes on half way to work.
Their response?
“You have enough to go 30 miles when the light comes on.”
Yeah, IF you don’t have to sit in bumper to bumper traffic on the highway due to some moron on a cell phone rear ending a semi!
Single means there is ALWAYS the same amount of gas in your tank as when you last parked the car!
I’m in like the 3rd week of daily doses of hot flashes. This sucks. Really it does. I love summer, love warm to hot weather. But walking around in my own mini-tropical climate has got to go. I keep a hand fan nearby, and when I cannot find it any envelope, folded paper, Avon brochure will due. Winter and there I sit at my desk, bedroom door closed so I can maintain my personal ice-box, made by opening my bedroom window. The cats love it, they see it as full theater experience cat-television when they can sit in an open window. But I think I’ve seen icicles hanging from their whiskers. Knowing my luck they’ll get pneumonia and die and I’ll be left with the guilt.
Thankfully I live with all women because more often than not, when I’m not babysitting, I’m parading around in a sport bra and pajama pants, fanning myself. A truly magnificent sight, no doubt, especially with the beads of sweat running down the small of my back and between the twins. I am I’m used to getting these in spurts of a week or two every so often over the years, but this time they seem to have moved in and paid advance rent for a while. I’d love if I could purchase a few packages, say a years supply, of this mini-heatwave to have the karma bus drop off to all my ex-boyfriends and the ex-husbands.
Today is one of the weird weather days in these parts. Actually seems weird pretty much all over the midwest. It is January 17th, when we are supposed to have cold and maybe even snow. Instead we had thunderstorms and it is 55 degrees outside at the moment. Instead of blizzard or snow storm warnings, we have flood warnings. Lovely. It is NOT cooperating with my need to open the window in an effort to reduce the portable sauna I’m carrying around.
I think there is a conspiracy going on to make me retract my year of no relationships. A few subtle types have tried to weigh things in their favor with “hey, let’s get some dinner, and a few beers sometime and chat”. Sly devils, they know my weakness for food and adult beverages. And then there is one known as Sir Lancelot who has pretty much just parked himself and his horse on the one side of the scale, a scale tipping over achiever. I haven’t figured out how my granddaughter (well soon to be but to me she is already in my heart, why wait til the wedding?) fits into all this but if I didn’t know better I’d swear someone was slipping her payments to help their case. Today in the kitchen, she gave me a hug and the following conversation ensued:
Ryann: I love you, grandma Marti
Little Red - full of mischief
Me: I love you too Red.
Ryann: You need to get married again.
Me: Why would that be??? (trying to mask the horrified look on my face, and shear terror at the word “married”)
Ryann: Because you need a husband.
Me: Why do I need a husband?????
Ryann: Well, because you do, and then I’d have another grandpa!
It is tough but I had to tell her it is most unlikely that is on my horizon. Not on my current agenda in life, and it requires finding Mr. MaybeRightThisTime and that spells heartache and well I don’t even want to go down that road of thought. The fact that I have had a recurring dream for the 3rd night in the past week, about the ex-hubster and I reconciling and remarrying did not help her case. In case you are wondering, hell is more likely to freeze over and the Mayans to be correct that December this year marks the end of the world, than me and the ex ever reconciling. Once I was set free from that cage that I lived in while married, I REFUSE to ever go back inside. My ex would not have me as I am, the REAL me, so no worries there folks. He’ll find a much meaker, mild mannered woman to conform to his mold, and maybe one day I will find my white knight that prefers to enjoy this bird as she is, no clips, no cage.
Meanwhile, I’m just fanning myself and enjoying life as a single chick. The bright pink one in the midst of the pale yellow ones. Unique, wacky, quirky, sassy, crazy, nut-case and untamable. The way I like it. Marriage?? *shudder* Not likely kiddo, not likely. I’m scared to death of getting in a relationship again. Not only because I don’t want to have my heart broken but I’m also afraid of hurting someone else. Why I’m not sure, as no one keeps me so I’m the one left hurting each time. The very idea of being married again is enough to cause a panic attack of epic proportions and put me in the hospital.
We’ve all been there.
You’re about to stick something in your mouth that you’ve been craving…
Some yummy treat full of fat, calories, and sugar.
The significant other looks at you and says:
“Are you sure you should be eating that?”
REALLY?
YES you dork, I know it isn’t healthy.
I have PMS.
And UMS (Ugly Mood Syndrome).
You’re living beyond the next 5 minutes is greatly dependent upon your ability to just SHUT UP.
Pig out if that is what you wish, you are single now.
Eat whatever you desire!
*for the recipe for this outstanding looking feast below, click the photo to go to the website*
It’s that time of the year again, when colds and flu are rampant and everyone is stuffed up, coughing and sneezing…it’s gross really.
I am a victim yet again of the cough, sniffle, blow, wipe, sneeze and repeat process. I am stuffed up tight despite the nasal sprays, Neti Pot and Thermaflu in an effort to un-clog the nasal passages. This just sucks. Without NyQuil and a few beers I’d likely not get any sleep. Yes I know, this isn’t good to do. DON’T try it at home, I’m a certifiable nutcase professional, leave it to us Pros.
Despite not feeling 100% I did manage to sign 2 new recruits this weekend, and hopefully a 3rd this evening. I have another for later this week. All in all, no complaints there. However, by the time I finish this meeting tonight I’ll be lucky to have any voice left to speak of!
I’ve decided to take part in a new (new to me) blog hop/meme today. I found it on a blog I follow and it looked fun. I love lists so this one is right up my alley. Today it is 10 things I said I’d never do, then found myself doing. This won’t be that hard, I hope. Click the Monday Listicles icon below to be magically transported over to North West Mommy’s page to link up!
Colors. As in hair color.
For years I wanted to dye my hair just for the hell of it.
The ex-hubby was not in support.
He also didn’t care for it when I dyed just my bangs pink, said I’m too old for that.
Not against it either but you know that “look” you get from the significant others that says this isn’t one of your best ideas, so you don’t do it.
The ex-boyfriend was totally against it, he “fell in love with a blond”.
And by going red it made me a different person?
Whatever.
Now, I am happy with my new color.
My daughter tells me she loves it and not to go back to blond.
Being single means I can sport any color of the rainbow without caring what anyone else thinks.
As a part of the 100 Things I Love series, here are 10 activities I love. Not necessarily in any particular order, and by no means and exhaustive list!
Ink..as in tattoos.
I happen to like tattoos.
Not ALL over me, but I have a few and want a few more.
They are significant to ME.
I dated a guy for 5 months that didn’t want me to get more, said “I don’t want your body littered with ink”.
Key word there, my former love, YOUR…
..as in MY body.
MY choice.
MY ink.
Being single means NO one tells me not to get another tattoo.
*Note: yes those are my legs from a photo shoot I did in an abandoned theater*
Working or your career – NO one to complain that you are working too much.
For me, I’m busy building a business at the moment, and it can take a lot of my time.
Since it is 1 of 2 jobs I have, and the one that I plan to make HUGE and the big bucks, I have little time for a relationship.
No one can complain if there is no significant other!
